May 27, 2004
SOON YOU'LL BEG ME TO BLOG ABOUT MY CAT
Believe it or not, there is something more desperately pathetic than cat blogging. That's key blogging. Tiffany started it. I'm keeping it going.
Pray to God it ends with me.
(click to enlarge)
I own 3 keychains. Each with 2 keys. 4 of those keys are work-related, and not shown because my readers are sick, twisted, and perpetually on the edge of some weird Bonnie & Clyde-style cross-country rampage of murder and theivery, so I don't trust you not to copy them and steal all the money at the bank.
You can see the house key, because the house is protected by my horse-dog, Jake.
You can see the car key, because I paid $400 for the damn thing, and it's got enough miles on it to have been driven to the moon at apogee.
The key chain... well, I'm taking a chance here, because it's the coolest keychain ever. Yes, that's actually a functional spirit level.
The other cool thing about it is the unique shape lets me differentiate it from the other two keychains by touch (the other two keychains are a flat plastic rectangle, and a bottle-opener in the shape of a bottle of Budweiser, which was a gift from one of my favorite bank customers).
Now, please, nobody else do this.
» Practical Penumbra links with: A little help from my friends?
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Excerpt: Please, somebody fisk this for me--I'm so tired of the idiotarians parrotting the same nonsense we have heard from day one that my brain hurts. 1. Mr. Bush allowed Iraq to become a distraction from the war on terrorism. Before we invaded Iraq, it was a...
Weblog: Practical Penumbra
Tracked: May 27, 2004 02:02 PM
Excerpt: Thanks to Harvey's complaining, I felt compelled to throw my own keys into the ring. (ouch) A few tidbits about my keys, I always wear my keys on the leftmost belt loop of my pants. Except when in church, then...
Weblog: There's One, Only!
Tracked: May 27, 2004 09:42 PM
A spirit level? On a keychain? Would this ensure that your car is level? Or do you use it on the way home from the bar to ensure you are level with the ground? Or maybe you use it to make sure the stacks of money at the bank are level? Just wondering. :-)
I thought it was a crack vial :D
Just a guess, but my bet is it somehow involves boobies.
Yes, you can use it to keep the nipples level.
Oh dear. I'm glad I took my fuzzy pig off my keychain before taking that picture.
Next thing you know, Harvey will be posting about pinching a loaf... what a freak show.
Teresa - actually, I use it to make sure that Mr. Happy can still make it above horizontal. More of a challenge as the years go by, ya know ;-)
The rest of you people are all just sick & twisted. I can't believe you're polluting my fine, family-oriented, G-rated blog with all your disgusting, perverted filth.
That's MY job.
Christ, I need more keys than that to go take a shit.
Seriously, I have at least twenty keys on mine and have to use them often. Here's me wishing I had a digital camera once again....
Scanner works just as well. It's how I did mine.
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