June 03, 2004

I ALWAYS KNEW IT WOULD END LIKE THIS

J of Quibbles & Bits finally made one of my happiest dreams come true by sending me to The Afterlife:

[...] Oh crap! Did I have heart attack in bed?"

The old man laughed. "No, Harvey. Nothing so mundane. Think about it. It'll come to you."

"I remember I started kissing her… and undressing her… Oh shit! Now I remember!”

“Yes?”

“The freakin’ trapeze broke!” Harvey exclaimed.

“Yep,” the old man smiled. Harvey felt an amazing warmth emanating from that smile. “You landed on your head.”

“That’s a crappy way to die!” Harvey protested.

“It could have been worse, Harvey,” the old man countered. “You could have choked on a Chinese chicken ball.”

“Okay, okay, I get your point. So you must be God.”

The old man’s smile widened. “Very good, Harvey. Most people don’t make the connection.”

“So did I make the cut for Heaven?” Harvey asked.

God smiled warmly. Harvey felt the smile in every fiber of his being.

“Not a chance.”

Now put down your drink, swallow, and find out what became of me.

No, seriously, I mean it. If you choke to death on your beverage while you're laughing, you'll probably wind up in the same damn place I went to.

Trust me. You DON'T want to be there.

posted by Harvey on June 3, 2004 at 11:36 PM | Permalink | 3 Liars
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Comments on I ALWAYS KNEW IT WOULD END LIKE THIS
Madfish Willie exemplified on June 4, 2004 01:12 AM

It was nice knowing ya... RIP you dirty old fucker!

Teresa exemplified on June 4, 2004 09:16 AM

Wow - I'm not sure Harv, but I think that was just a bit of an excessive punishment for you stalking us... *G*

Harvey exemplified on June 4, 2004 02:38 PM

Teresa - I think the Bartender's right. I had this one coming... but thanks for the support ;-)