[HANDING OUT PINK-WRAPPERED CIGARS]

Some of my more observant readers may have noticed that, in addition to being on my regular blogroll, I have a special 'roll just for my blogchildren. The more cynical amongst you may suspect it's so that I have a handy "who did their offspringly duty" checklist come Father's Day when I go to count my virtual presents. Those of you who are so shallow as to think that of me are goddamned right.

But aside from that, it's also there to give a special thanks to those who trusted me enough to take the blogging plunge against their better judgment, and who keep going, even though they have better things to do.

Crazy bastards. How I love them...

Now, if you've been paying particularly close attention, you'd have noticed that I had a line of text at the bottom of the list saying "One on the way ;-)"

You will now notice that that's changed.

After weeks of begging, pleading, cajoling, flattering, praising, Lamaze classes, and heavy epidurals, Boudicca's Voice has joined the blogosphere.

[resounding yawn from the audience] "wow. Another blogger. whoopee".

Screw you guys. This one's special.

First, Bou actually had TWO daddies. Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks has been pushing for this just as hard as I have, and he's just as proud.

[gasps of horror from the audience]

Yeah, yeah, I know. What sort of hell-beast would the offspring of Steven Keaton and Hagrid be?

Well, she doesn't have a picture posted, but I've seen it, so I'll give you a hint.

Think Mary Ann, and you'll be in the ballpark. (That's the brunette in the yellow two-piece, for those unfamiliar with Gilligan's Island)

But she's got more than looks. She's also got a sense of humor:

What is the difference between a Prostitute, a Mistress, and a Wife?
The Prostitute says, “Are you finished yet?”
The Mistress says, “Oh can’t we do it again?”
The Wife says, “Beige… I think I’ll paint the ceiling Beige.”

She's also clever and politically astute enough to compare and contrast the marriage of the Kennedys with the marriage of the Reagans. It starts like this:

We all know by now, and maybe most did at the time, that the whole Camelot thing was a big farce. Playing the media to the hilt or people believing because they wanted to believe, either way, it was a fake. That was no happy marriage. God only knows how many women he slept with while in the White House. A man of power can get what he wants… Power the Aphrodisiac I’ve been told. I see pictures of JFK and I don’t think, ‘Great family man, he really loved his wife.” I think, “A man molded for this position and he cheated on his wife.”

and continues by playing one powerful verbal chord after another, building into an overwhelming symphony that I dare not weaken by pulling a single portion out of context. It's too good not to be read whole.

She also has a little fashion advice for the slobs who didn't bother dressing up to visit Reagan's casket:

Were you raised in a damn barn? Did your mother never tell you that you DRESS for funerals and weddings? Hey, it may be great for you that your cousin Bubba doesn’t give a rat’s ass that you showed up to his wedding in cut-off jeans and a T-shirt that says, “My Mom went to the Bahamas and all I got was this lousy T-shirt”, but guess what, Bub, it’s TACKY and RUDE to show up to a Presidential ceremony of mourning wearing that same attire. I wish the honor guard had had the express permission to take you outside and tan your hide for it, ‘cause guess what? You deserved it!

Hmmm... must've gotten that razor tongue from Graumagus's side, 'cuz the Olsons are ever-so-polite [whistles innocently].

Then she does a nice little piece explaining her conception... uh... figuratively speaking.

She runs a little contest trying to get you to guess what language a foreign web page is in... I'm guessing Finnish, but I admit I'm out of my depth, here.

Finally, there's another joke that's not excerptable, but it's short and worksafe, so take a peek.

Frankly, I'm really impressed here. She's gotten quite a powerful start right out of the gate, and I'm looking forward to my daily visits.

You better blogroll her now so that you can say you knew her when she was just a Blogspotling.

Oh yes, almost forgot. Although she's a fast learner, she's had to start at the bottom of the html learning curve for her template. If you have any expertise, I'm sure she'd love some helpful hints. For instance, on her sidebar: I checked the source code on her template, and it looks like, for headers such as "Recent Posts" and "Archives", Blogger's using a .gif instead of a font. It's very pretty, but not helpful in her quest to put in a blogroll section. Anyone know how to replace those lovely .gif's with a font so she can add a matching "Blogroll" section?