THE TRAILER TRASH CULTURE THINGY

Lynn of Reflections in d minor got fed up with snooty culture quizzes, so she composed something a little less hoity toity, which I'll take a stab at.

1. UPN or Fox? Fox - I'm a Simpson's loyalist.

2. roller derby or WWE? Roller derby is the one where the chicks DON'T look like guys, right?

3. Loretta Lynn or Tammy Wynette? Both. Preferably at the same time.

4. Tony Lama or Durango? I had a bad experience with llamas, so I'll go with Durango, even though I don't know what it is.

5. fried Spam or fried boloney? Um... death?

6. Buck Owens or Porter Wagoner? Buck Owens, because he was on Hee Haw, and I'm a cleavage fan.

7. fiddle or banjo? Fiddle. I played it for a couple years way back when. Besides, I've seen Deliverance *shudder*

8. Texas or Tennessee? Texas, although this might be some kind of subconscious Bush vs. Gore thing on my part.

9. Ford or Chevy? (pickup of course) Ford, mostly for misguided sentimental reasons, i.e. Henry was an evil capitalist Robber Baron.

10. extended cab or long bed? Long bed. I've got a horse-dog to haul.

11. Tabasco or Texas Pete's? Tabasco, because I live in the benighted North, and I can't get Texas Pete's here.

12. Saints or Cowboys? Saints, because I'm still bitter about a couple Packers playoff games.

13. baseball cap or cowboy hat? Baseball cap. You ever tried to shove a cowboy hat into your back pocket?

14. double wide or single wide? Single - more room for lawn ornaments.

15. Wal-mart or K-mart? Wal-Mart - I spent many years as a juvenile delinquent being chased by cops, so I have this "thing" about flashing blue lights.

16. "Your Cheatin' Heart" or "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry"? Whichever one's shorter.

17. Gunsmoke or Bonanza? Whichever one had more killin'

18. Johnny Cash or Merle Haggard? (ooooh... tough choice) Johnny Cash - Merle Haggard never covered a Nine Inch Nails tune.

19. catfish or buffalo wings? Wings - I don't like eating things that smell the same cooked as just plain dead & rotting on the river bank.

20. Charlie Daniels Band or ZZ Top? Charlie Daniels - ZZ Top never did Redneck Rap.

21. Velvet painting: Elvis or bullfighter? It depends on whether Elvis has pointy sticks hanging out of his bloody body.

22. Plastic sunflowers or plastic flamingos? Sunflowers. I saw "Pink Flamingos", too.

23. Lawn chairs: molded plastic or aluminum frame? Molded plastic, because I've never had one snap shut on my arm.

24. John Wayne or Clint Eastwood? Clint - Dirty Harry movies have bigger guns, more blood, and are just plain more quotable.

Hmmmm... I think I'm just too Damn Yankee for this quiz. Looks like I might have to turn in my wife-beater T-shirt.