September 08, 2004
WHAT THE PROTESTORS WANT
(A PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR ASSIGNMENT)
Amidst the cacophany of demands made by the protestors at the Republican convention it was hard to discern any clear messages. However, I think I've managed to sort out a partial list of what they want:
Dick Cheney should stop steering government contracts to Halle Berry… or something like that.
Exxon should stop putting blood in their oil. It messes up the octane rating.
It's morally wrong to genetically alter plants. Possible exception for upgrading the THC content of medical marijuana.
Kicking an unconscious cop should be considered a form of free speech, since nobody stole his oil.
AIDS researchers should investigate the healing powers of public nudity.
Public nudity should also be used to pay down the national debt.
As ridiculous as these demands sound, I DO have to agree with ONE of their demands:
DEATH TO CLOWNS!
» The Alliance links with: Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Protestor Demands
Excerpt: Last week you couldn't swing a tear gas cannister in New York City without boucing it off some filthy hippy's skull. Which activity sure as hell beats the alternative of listening to him make outrageous demands for things he hasn't
Weblog: The Alliance
Tracked: September 8, 2004 08:20 PM
Nooooooooo! Not the clown! Where will I get my Big Macs now?
And you forgot the one about how they want peas for everyone. (Frankly, I can't stand the little green things.)
LOL!
And you got my Spanish Inquisition theme!!! I love you, Harvey Olson!
Hey man, I love clowns.
Clowns are hilarious.
You're going to wish you had never said that.
GEBIV - More like pea soup in a blender... "whirled peas", I think they call it...
Susie - the feeling is utterly mutual ;-)
Chuck - Dude... clowns are grown men who wear make-up and want to be near children. They're just CREEPY!
Are you saying that Ronald is really Michael Jackson at his day job?
::Shudder::
Now I'll never be able to eat there again! Actually, I don't think I'll be able to eat anything for a while...
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