October 02, 2004
MILLION TIMES FORWARDED E-MAIL: HEAVENLY THOUGHTS
A little something for my religiously "one of the above" readers. Not MY cup of tea, but I thought these were cute:
1. Give God what's right -- not what's left.
2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an
endless hope.
3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma--but never let him
be the period.
6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.
8. When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty.
9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.
10. We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.
11. The church is prayer-conditioned.
12. When God ordains, He sustains.
13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
14. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
17. Exercise daily -- walk with the Lord.
18. Never give the devil a ride -- he will always want to drive.
19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
21. He who angers you controls you.
22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
23. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.
24. Be ye fishers of men -- you catch them & He'll clean them.
25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
26. Read the Bible -- It will scare the hell out of you
Oh Harv, Harv Harv.
As one of you Christian readers, I must admit that these are cheesey....extra cheesey..
as one of your.... (typo)
mmmm... cheese :-)
Kathryn - I hope those are GOOD "Harv"s? :-)
Seriously, I *like* these. They have a certain Steven Wright flavor to them.
Ahhhh, no. Steven Wright is godlike, these are a little lacking, although funny.
I've always said that Wright is a funny me. God knows I'm not!!!
T1G - Ok, not SW quality, but I was thinking more that I had to pause & think about some of these a little before I "got" them.
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