October 25, 2004

ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX *AGAIN*?

... No... still.

Blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice is deconstructing a survey about men's attitudes toward sex. She quotes this part of the poll:

“The poll says that 70% of men think of sex every day and that 43% think about it several times a day."

"43% think about it several times a day"

The other 57% are lying.

Then there comes the question about how men DO all this thinking about sex:

“When you're hungry do you think about a specific type of food or just food in general? I think the latter is kind of the way it is for men. We think about sex in general not so much specifics”

There's some interesting discussion on the topic in her post and also in the comments. My answer is as follows:

I'm visually triggered, and the specific act under consideration depends on whether she's walking towards me or away from me.

It usually takes the form of filling in the blanks to the statement:

I'd like to _______ her _______.

The first blank being filled by some sort of physical act and the second being the body part I'm noticing at the moment.

"admire" her "pretty eyes" IS on the list, but most times it's something more... intimate.

And detailed.

With lots of adjectives, prepositional phrases, and dependent clauses.

And dessert toppings.

UPDATE: Coincidentally, I just rediscovered a post at my old Bad Money site where I describe something similar to this phenomenon as a "flash-fantasy":

It's my term for when someone says something (whether innocent or suggestive), and I get a fast mental image of a sexually-charged scenario that I quickly banish from my thoughts so I can get back to focussing on the task at hand.

Yes, this happens to me a LOT.

posted by Harvey on October 25, 2004 at 08:41 PM | Permalink | 20 Liars
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Comments on ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX *AGAIN*?
Madfish Willie exemplified on October 25, 2004 09:05 PM

There was a survey done once that said... 75% of men jack-off in the shower... the other 25% sing in the shower... do you know what song they sing?

Harvey exemplified on October 25, 2004 09:36 PM

I believe it's this one.

Boudicca exemplified on October 25, 2004 10:10 PM

I personally think women think about it as much as men. FTR, I'm very specific in my thoughts.

Madfish Willie exemplified on October 25, 2004 11:09 PM

Herbey... wrong song... I guess we know what you do in the shower!

Sally exemplified on October 26, 2004 03:45 AM

"...the task at hand". Great choice of phrase! *snicker*

vw bug exemplified on October 26, 2004 05:41 AM

I'm with you Bou. The older I get the more I think about it.

contagion exemplified on October 26, 2004 07:25 AM

I wish my wife would think more about sex. I'm getting tired of forcing my thoughts upon her. :)

tbflowers exemplified on October 26, 2004 01:03 PM

Why did I have to marry a narcoleptic? (I think that's the term for it)

As soon as she gets comfortable anywhere, she has a tendency to fall asleep. And she doesn't wake up well either.

Too bad she's not a sleep sexer. :)
She could then just ask me in the morning how we were.

TBFlowers exemplified on October 26, 2004 01:05 PM

MW - how does that line go from American Beauty go? Sometimes my morning jerkoff in the shower is the best part of my day. It usually goes downhill from there.

Susie exemplified on October 26, 2004 01:19 PM

Coincidentally, a couple of the boys at work were talking about that song at work last night. I said "It's about swimming, right?" and they hurriedly agreed... ;)

Boudicca exemplified on October 26, 2004 03:33 PM

TB, if you have small children, all mothers of small children are narcoleptics. As soon as we're prone, we fall asleep. The best bet is catching her in the shower. :) And if the small children is the case, just give her a couple years... it all comes back!

Harvey exemplified on October 26, 2004 04:16 PM

Or AFTER the shower. That's why they make large, fuzzy bath mats and bathroom door locks.

Best part is, no one asks why the bath mat is wet ;-)

tbflowers exemplified on October 26, 2004 06:57 PM

I used to be a stroke. I always thought the song was about rowing....

Bou, yup, six yr old princess and 3 yr old bruiser. Thank God they're both potty trained.

But the Mrs. has no excuse. I'm a model husband. I cook, clean, and do my fair share of child rearing.

Course, I could be on my deathbed, and I'd still want one last roll in the hay. :D

tbflowers exemplified on October 26, 2004 07:20 PM

Thinking of sex again.....

One time, my real time fantasies almost went too far. Was in college walking toward the student center, when I saw this particularly bustluscious babe walking toward me.

I begin thinking, "Wow, she really is beautiful. And look at the way those things move when she walks. They defy the Newtonian Laws of Motion..."

At which time she was about to glide just past me, and my other brain takes control and at the last possible moment, I feel my hand rise up and out as if to take one of those wonderous appendages with me. Alarm bells began screaming in the logical part of my brain something was terribly amiss.

Thankfully, it was in enough time that I could redirect my hand's motion into some less ominous action and avoid the potential altercation that was about to occur. Don't remember if I waved at an invisible friend or picked my nose, but to this day, I'm still shocked that I almost uncontrollably groped a total stranger.

Then I met my wife. Finally I met someone special. Someone who won't press charges.

Chuck exemplified on October 26, 2004 07:30 PM

Now that I live in a dorm, and shower in a shower stall instead of my own bathroom. Often with guys in the stalls on either side of me, and very seldomly with no one else in the bathroom, I don't feel comfortable doing either in the shower.

Boudicca exemplified on October 26, 2004 07:48 PM

*GASP!* LOL! TB, Holy Crap, Lion Tours, you bailed out just in time. You could have been dead meat. Wow. That just really hammers home that whole 'what part of the body' men think with saying. Wow.

kermit exemplified on October 27, 2004 09:38 PM

About filling in those two blanks...How about 'kick' and 'ass'?

Harvey exemplified on October 27, 2004 10:42 PM

Kermit - with some women... yes ;-)

tbflowers exemplified on October 28, 2004 11:04 PM

Kermit -

Some people are into that whole foot thing, but I've never met one that liked it in the butt. Not to mention a webbed foot. But then again, you're a frog.

Funny, I would have thought I'd have seen an famous amphibian's foot fetish plaastered all over the supermarket tabloids. :P

Harvey exemplified on October 29, 2004 10:54 PM

Heh. What's green & smells like a pig? :-)