December 22, 2004

GIFTS FOR THE TROOPS

(A PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR ASSIGNMENT)

It's almost Christmas, and it's time to start thinking of all the lonely soldiers stuck in the sandbox for the holidays. I'm thinking some of the following items might cheer them up:

Non-goat-related porn

Toilet paper featuring Michael Moore's face.

Bottles of French wine - with the wine poured out and replaced with something less turpentiney

More armor. Maybe we could cut up one of John Kerry's SUV's

Sorry, one of his family's SUV's.

Nike Air Terr-O-Stomper brand combat boots.

Hardee's Monster Thickburger - hold the camel.

Desert camo foam dome.

Decorative brass balls for their Humvees.

A toilet that flushes with sand instead of water.

Reindeer horns for their tanks & APC's

12,000 Whos who will SING! SING! SING! SING! until the insurgents are driven quite thoroughly mad.

Oh, and of course, this little reminder of just what exactly they're fighting for:

(click to enlarge)

(hat tip to I Hate My Cubicle!!! for the pic)

Merry Christmas, boys.

SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!

UPDATE: One serious gift for the troops, courtesy of Matty O'Blackfive:

Kevlar blankets.

Go find out how you can help give the gift of bullet-resistance.

If you're undecided, think of it this way:

If the soldier were here, you'd buy him a drink without thinking twice.

Take the drink money & buy him some Kevlar now, so you CAN buy him that drink later.


ยป The Alliance links with: Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Presents For The Troops
posted by Harvey on December 22, 2004 at 07:24 PM | Permalink | 3 Liars | Precision Guided Humor
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Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Presents For The Troops
Excerpt: With the holidays fast approaching, it's time to spare a thought to those who will be giving us our 4th consecutive "No Exploding Santa Claus of Death" Christmas, i.e. the brave troops mixing it up in the War on Terror.
Weblog: The Alliance
Tracked: December 22, 2004 09:39 PM
Comments on GIFTS FOR THE TROOPS
rightwingduck exemplified on December 22, 2004 07:40 PM

So what you're saying is that our troops are fighting for Sexy Lingerie?

No Blood For Sexy Lingerie.

Um. Yeah. That's right. Make her take it off!!

Harvey exemplified on December 22, 2004 07:48 PM

Doncha wish MORE women exercised their freedom of speech like that? ;-)

Earl exemplified on December 22, 2004 08:19 PM

If used properly, she could be a great weapon for us in Iraq.