Considering I completely missed the party at Tammi's... where's the Redi Whip and Chocolate sauce? Did they get left in Florida? ... Poking around in Harvey's kitchen... what's this? Zima? Do you drink that stuff Harvey? And I am so staying out of that bedroom down the hall - but I can set up the slip-n-slide right here in the living room...

I get Harvey's handcuffs! Yeah, I know their are his "preciouuus" but sometimes a "girl just wants to have fun".

"A girl just wants to have fun"

Now I got that darn song going on in my head, it's all Harvey's fault, oh all right, it's Cyndi Laupers fault too.

Oh good. Harv fixed the chandelier.

Look! I'm Tarzan!

Ahhhhhh-ahhhhh-aiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee

*Crash*

Good thing his TV broke my fall. Too bad about the record player though...

So, basically, daddy's away for the day, and we have the house to ourselves.....

Now that Tammi is back in town, she can play too.

I wonder if the Brits can make it over in time.
Too bad that flying fireball... errr... Concord.. isn't in service anymore. :)

I think we should put the slip-n-slide in the hallway. He stored the garden hose in the basement, so we just have to hook it up to the bathtub and ... violla! Totally wet s-n-s with hot water!

At least he was smart this time and didn't leave Jake the Horse Dog as guard.

Hey why are all the neighbors leaving? Hmm, must have remembered the last party.

WOOHOO

Hey, I brought the "body" paints from Tammi's.

Zima? Cool! Pull! *BLAM* *BLAM*

Oh. I guess we shouldn't do this in the living room, huh? I bet Harvey wanted a window there anyway. And it's not raining, so that new skylight works pretty good, doesn't it?

I'm going to do a keg stand in the closet over here.... hey, what the hell is this?

HARVEY!

I'm shocked! I didn't know you were into that sort of thing! I mean, the poor Iguana!

Oh well. Keg STAAAAAAAAANDS!

I just stopped by to say, "Hello," Harvey. Sorry to hear about your connectivity problems. If there's anything I can do for you, I hope you'll let me know.

GEBIV: You did that all wrong - you let go of the chandelier at the wrong moment. Watch this:

[Swinging in a wild arc] AHHHAHHAAAHAHHAHHAAHHH!!!!!!
*SPLASH-CRASH*!!!
"Quick everybody! Help me pick up all these fish!" [muttering] "Who the hell puts an aquarium THERE, anyway???"

[Grabs Tequila bottle from the bar for self] THIS is to make up for the beer he stole! [Takes huge swig, someone asks, "Pretty expensive payment for just a few beers, isn't it?"]

"AHHH, just a thing called 'time value of money' - he's a banker-dude, he'll understand!"

Fish? *BLAM* *BLAM*

Hey, shooting fish on the floor is almost as easy as shooting them in a barrel. Hey look -- I didn't know Harvey had a basement.

Well, I'm drivin' north as fast as the PT Cruiser will go...got a couple-six bottles of real Mexican Mescal and the rest of the back is filled with cases of Shiner Bock, the collection of toys that we ain't limber enough to play with anymore and an emergency stash of buckshot loads. Y'all keep the party goin' 'til we get there from Texas, hey?

*following Jeff into the closet with the keg*

giggle, it's dark in here. Ooops, I hope that was a glow stick.

Um Machelle... did you break it?

BTW - where's the Bartender? I want a drink!

Bartender? *BLAM* Whoops, it's still loaded. We can get another keg, right? Is Tammi the porn star coming? I mean, is she going to be here at the party?

Of course we can make it in time, _Jon! Prince Harry kindly lent us a couple of costumes and some llamas ;-)

http://www.randomimage.us/index.php?img_id=5607

Duckie sits back watching all of this fun stuff go on. He's drinking a beer, and NOT using a coaster. He he.

*walks into the house* I've never been to one of these parties before . . . hey, that's some pretty nice fine china you've got in this cabinet . . . why's it locked? hmm, I'm sure he didn't mean to lock it to keep me out, just some thief. *pulls out lockpick kit and unlocks the cabinet* wow . . . these really are nice *studies each plate and absentmindedly puts them in his side bag, not noticing the huge hole in the bag which lets all the china fall through to shatter on the floor* hmm, Harvey really should clean up better . . . *notices the broken china everywhere* such a rude host . . . *tours the house, randomly picking up anything not nailed down and storing it in his various pouches*

Ogre, take these LP's and toss me the shotgun.

*Climbs onto the chandelier and starts swinging*

OK. Pull! *BLAM* *BLAM*

Oops. That was harder than I thought. Although the holes in the fridge door does make it easier to get beer out...

See? It's harder than you think.

Uh oh. I hear some police sirens outside. Did someone here call the police? I'm looking at you, Bou, Machelle, and Tammi (the porn star)...

Tammi is stuck in traffic - she'll be here soon now. After all she did dash back to her place for the pool full of jello shots.

Hey, who has the chocolate sauce???

Teresa, I've got a couple of jumbo cans of caramel sauce in the Jeep. Will that do?

*pausing in mid-pants-droppage*
Did he say "assy" or "classy"? Ah, hell, either way is fine with me.... Now where's that caramel? It makes great art material. Who wants to make tush prints on the picture window?

I'm Here! I'm Here!! WooHoo......now....to get even for that pool full of red jello. Harvey likes duct tape does he?!?! Well...I gots me a whole case. Anybody wanna play?!?!?!?! ;-)

MMMMMPHHH MMMMMMPH MMMMPH!

*RIIIIIIIIP*

OUCH! OK. Who snuck up behind me with the duct tape?

Oh, hi Tammi.

Aw guys! What'd you do with Harv's lemur?

Can you get duct tape off of lemur fur or will he just have to hang there until the adhesive dries out?

Hey - someone grab the dog, he's drinking from the keg tap!

Hey Tammi - I thought you were gonna bring jello shots... Oh and did you see LeeAnn's tush prints?

*sipping beer, studying tush art*

So, Duckie. What do you think the artist was trying to convey in this piece?

Woof Woof. *BURP* Woof Woo....

*Thud*

Somebody put an asprin or two in the dog's water dish. With the hangover I figure he'll get, he's going to need them in the morning...

Someone's gotta help me unload the barrrels of jello shots from the back of the truck I rented. Damn - it took forever to scoop that out of the pool. And yes Teresa, I saved the tushy print. Actually had it laquered for posterity. See...it turned out real nice, I think Lee Ann will be pleased.

Pass the asprin because that was one wild night....filling up all of the bath tubs with Jell-O was a bad thing...And at least Tammi remembered the slip-n-slid for this party.....my head, my head

This is the bad part about having to work on the weekends--no drinking! However, I have no reservations about playing "Show me your hose" with firemen...

Hey!! Where's the firemen?????

Machelle! Call 911 stat and get us some well-equipped firemen! And they can use the jaws of life to get GEBIV out of that hole in the fridge door as long as they're here....

Speaking of art, they say nipple prints are as indentifying as fingerprints...
Line up, ladies, let's test this one! I see a whole pane of window not covered yet.

{sneaks it, grabs a drink - hmmmm let's go - and grabs a real drink... not gonna ask what I actually touched in that fridge}

{looks around, smiles, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh}

{sneaks out and back to children}

Hey Harv! You're back. Somethings wrong with the big screen TV. There's tsunami aid concert/telethon on every friggin channel. Even the SciFi. Wassup with that? What channel is the football game on man?

Oh, and pass that chick when you're done with her, if she'll have me. :P

Hey! Which way do I turn in Duluth? Damn! I'm missing the whole thing.
Oh well, there's a Girl's school over there, lemme grab this mescal and see if I can make some new friends.

[stands in front hallway]
[looks around]

Huh? I thought I just LEFT Tammi's place...

[In bathroom, calling "RALPH!" on the porcelain intercom, thinks he just heard someone holler "CHARLEY'S MOAN!"]

WTF??? Who's Charley?

[On knees, resumes loudly losing groceries - shakes head twice, blinks...]

Oh shit... this ain't the terlet... this is the bathtub...