Have a nice trip... now where did he put those keys to his house?

Oooh, nice doggie! Doggie want a steak? A big ol' T-bone? Doggie does?

OK, guys--the dog's distracted! Who brought the tequila?

I brought the extra large size of animal traquilizers this time.

*thunk*

Now where are all those animals.

Start with that darned thought-lemming of his!
Or was it a feret? A sloth? A...

Here, start with this one!

Ahhh. Here is the key hooked to the dog's collar. Thanks for tranquilizing him. Door is open, come on in. Would someone bring in that big box of limes for me?

I think the nice doggie wants a steak and a beer.

Someone get the garage door so I can back the truck up.

What's in the truck you say?

Let's just say it has something to do with large amounts of alcohol, circus animals, and fireworks.

That Truck better be a fire-truck, with firemen.

Hey I also called UPS, when they deliver someone tie up the UPS guy for me.

Mmm, yum, UPS guy, just what I like best.

Can't get a whole lot better than UPS men, I mean they always deliver so well. Heh.

Where should I put the elephant?

Where are we setting up the slip-n-slide this time? If we bank it just right, I think we can get it to end in the hot tub...

Hey, who wants to see the elephant go down the slip-n-slide?

I think someone needs to be riding the Elephant as it goes down the slip-n-slide.

I've never ridden an elephant... Let's give it a try!

*******WHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE****

{SPLASH}

Oh that was fun.

::rushing in from extended Super Bowl party::

"WE'RE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!!!"

::passes out::

OOOH Look, someone's passed out.

*getting out make-up*

There, now doesn't he look cute!

Man, Harvey, those eyes. You sure that's not one of the dogs from "The Omen"?
He'll keep those comment spammers out for sure!

Nice doggie looks like he needs a Seeing Eye Person. Or an exorcist.

Bandit looks like a good ol' boy. But, from the looks of that picture, I'd say he's blind. Either that or he's got hellawicked cataracts(sp).

I'm bettin' that nose don't fail him though. I don't especially want to wind up on the wrong end of those choppers either. Those ears? Hell, he probably heard me fart just now.

Have fun Harvey. We'll keep the light on for ya.

Boy, how many pets does Harv have??? I'll bet he's got a mongoose around here somewhere, so you boys all keep those trouser snakes safe. I volunteer to watch 'em for you, and I suspect Machelle will help (once we get her untangled from the UPS man...)

Llamas???? Geeze... now where did Harvey get llamas from? and why are they carrying all those cans of Pink Reddie-Whip? Do they think it's Valentines or something?

OK, I'm back! I brought the trampoline, the trapeze, a dozen casaba melons, and some midgets. Who wanted 'em in the bedroom?

Good lord. What happened to Physics Geek?

Oh me, but park the midgets in the bathroom for now, we shall call them out when ready!

*taking pink redi-whip from llama's*

Hey, it's almost Valentines day. I say we get started early.

*spraying little pink hearts on everyone*

Oh and it's Ash Wednesday, no meat for me today, damn

*pushing UPS Guy away*

*setting down 2 small llama's*

Hey look what I found over at Ogre's place, ain't they cute!

Whew! Thank heavens most of you were busy elsewhere when the Castle was unguarded. Though some of you *are* multiple offenders I see...

Hee....while Harvey and BW are touristing I thought I'd pop in for a bit of, well, yeah, what ever this is!!

And guess what! There was Reddi-Wip for breakfast! ;-)

Now.......let me have a run at that slip-n-slid!

We have a problem with the slip and slide. It seems SOMEONE rode the elephant down the slip and slide and left it there. The elephant, being an elephant, did what elephants do...and left a present for everyone on the slip and slide.

I'm now going back inside to drink beer with the midgets.

No meat for you, eh?
Too bad for you, no meat.

I'm sure someone else would like some meat.....

Meat?... I have chocolate sauce.... does chocolate sauce go with meat???

Oh, hey guys. Still at it? I'm sorry I left for a while, I was wor... king... out...

*frantically attempts to put shirt back on*

*runs*

Hey, the dog's awake!

Ha, ha! Silly doggy! He *really likes* Physics Geek!

Quick Machelle, tackle Jeff before he gets out the door!!! He needs to clean up that Elephant poop! And Leave.that.shirt.off. We married women need to look at young things now and again.

*running, jumping* oohpf *body slamming Jeff to the ground*

Quick, someone take the rope off the UPS guy and tie Jeff up with it.

Hey lets tie him to the elephant!

I really don't think that tying him underneat the elephant that way is a good idea. 'Cause if the elephant were to get aroused, it might be uncomfortable....

UhOH!

That's gotta hurt....
/wince

*mmph!*

*ergf!*

Ahh! Mommy! Make them stop!

*ermf*

Tied to my own elephant. What a way to go.

Run UPS man! You're freeeee!

*Stumbling out of back room full of midgets*

Wow. Those midgets sure can drink *urp*
So, what's happening here? Jeff? What are you doing to that elephant? OH MY...

*Turns and heads back into room full of now massively drunk midgets*

::waking up::

Huh? What'd I miss?

Why do my eyelids feel sticky? Where's that mirror...GAAAHHH! Evil clowns are attacking from the mirror dimension! Save yourselves! Oh, wait a minute... come to think of it, that clown is quite handsome. Think I'll buy him a drink. But why am I wet? And why is that dog giving me a dreamy look?

::looks at Jeff::

Huh. I must still be passes out. PLEASE LET ME BE PASSED OUT!!!!

Lucky I always keep a razorblade in my shoe... now if I could just... mph... erg...

*slice*

OWWW!!! OW OW OW OW!!!

Oh, that WAS the rope. Nevermind.

Now whoever tied me in that *shudder* horrible position is going to get a good spanking, damnit! Fess up! And get me a beer while you're at it!

* Pointing at Machelle with one hand, large beer in other hand *

It was her! She did it! She did it! It was her!

I was bad, spank me daddy, spank me hard.

Here's a strange belt I found in Harvey's Closet, Jeff. Enjoy! Ogre... how about passing a drink over to me? And why did Sally ask me to bring all this tape? Something about Ogres and tape... hmmmm...

What, this thing? What on earth am I going to do with that?

Either that or this weird looking hair piece. Says something about cats and tails on the tag... can't quite read it.

Or there is this Santa belt.

Seems Harv has a whole closet full of stuff...

Well if no one else will spank her, I guess I'll have to...

* WHACK *

* WHACK *

Uh..Machelle, all the drunken midgets want to take a whack too...

Come on boys!

Ahhhh Mannnnnnnnn I can't get the camcorder to work. We would be able to make a fortune!!!

You've got time to fix the camcorder...we're going to be awhile. Hey you, midget with the flat head, can you stand right next to me while I'm doling out the punishment here? I need somewhere to put the beer while spanking with two hands.

Machelle, do you work for UPS?

'Cause I thought I caught you checking out my package.

*ducks quickly*

Ah look, Brass has such a cute little package

*throws midget to knock over Brass for a quick getaway*

Ok, the spankings have been dealt, the midgets are falling over drunk, and the elephant pooped on the slip-n-slide in the front yard. Now who's up for some FUN?

ok . . .hic . . . I'm late . . .hic . . . but I'm already . . . hic . . . drunk . . . and I . . . hic . . . brought a . . . hic . . . dozen cases . . . hic . . . of home made . . . hic Scottish . . . hic . . . whiskey

Nice. Hey look, there's a case of multi-colored cool whip. What can we build with that?

All right! This is Beloved wife. I will be home tomorrow at noon. I fully expect all llamas, midgets, redi-wip, water slides, and any other miscellaneous props will be out of my living room. Everything had better be cleaned up and as I left it, including the dogs. If I spot any llamas in the house, there will be grilled llama burgers for supper.

Finally, remember, if Beloved Wife wife isn't happy, ain't nobody happy - including papa-san himself, Mr. Bad Example.

Crap! I just got here, but I think I'll be going! You ain't draggin' me down with you guys!

Hey BW - you sure you don't wanna hang on to one of those midgits? A girl never knows!!!!

Tammi - good idea. When y'all are cleaning up my living room, you can leave the handcuffs behind I'll need them for the midget. Hmmm, Mr Bad Example, a midget and me...excuse me, I need to go do some Internet research...

Beloved Wife

*wakes up* okay people you heard the lady!! Let's move it all to the bedroom!!

*BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP*
Hey, someone get that Lorena a drink!

And a midget!

And a casaba melon!

* Points at the fleeing T1G *

It was him! He did it!

(While wiping whipped cream off on the llama "hidden" behind...)

Ohhhhhh you guys are in trouble........She wasn't kidding. You're just damned lucky I chartered that jet and got here before them. Quick....let's hook up my handy dandy new Hoover Floormate..

**singing slightly offkey** Here I am to save the day I wonder if we could annex this for Tammi's World?!?!?!

Will the Hoover Floormate clean up what that elephant left in the front yard? It's a pretty big pile...

*sniff*

Tammi, I thought I was your Hoover Floormate!

Where is my midget??? I said get the place clean, but leave behind the midget! Tammi - did you suck up the midget? If so, did you at least leave any for me??

*points to the midget cowering in fear behind him* I picked him up just before the Hoover got 'im. He what you wanted?

Perfect. Just handcuff him to the bed so I can let out my aggressions/fantasies on him when I get home from work.

THANKS!