February 23, 2005
MEET THE FAMILY: THE ANNOYING POTTED PLANT
(click to enlarge)
Even if you weren't there to witness it, you've probably heard that, at one point during dinner, Frank J. repeatedly told an artificial potted plant to shut up.
Now, looking at the above picture, you're probably asking yourself, "What the hell brought THAT on?".
Which is an understandable reaction, given this image.
However, when we take a look at yonder potted plant from as seen from FRANK'S perspective:
(click to enlarge)
It should be fairly obvious now. Just LOOK at that thing. The mocking manner in which it holds its leaves; the cruel, haughty twists of its branches... I tell ya, it just irks the CRAP out of me to even gaze upon it, and...
What?
WHAT?
SHUT UP!
SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UUUUUUUP!
Stupid plant.
Well, Tammi has to have SOMETHING to talk to at home when all you people leave. Apparently she's trained it to talk too well.
Ummm... Harvey.... put down the alcohol and back away from the tree... it'll be fine, we'll take care of you... there's a nice man with a hug-me jacket just to make you feel all safe and secure.
Actually from the second angle it looks suspiciously like a well grown thatch above two labia minora.
Or maybe I've just got a gutter mind.
No, it really does.
As long as it's not talking to you Jim... we'll all be happy with that. Now, does anyone want to give Jim a Rorschach test? I'm sure we'd get some... ahem... interesting answers.
Come on, Teresa, EVERY Rorschach blot is about sex. What's the point of even asking?
Wait... did I just open a revealing window into my psyche?
Nevermind.
E-Mail Me (Harvey)
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