April 06, 2005
IN HONOR OF TARTAN DAY
... a re-cycling of the Tartan Day post I did last year at Bad Money.
Great Events in Scottish History:
1326 - The game of golf was invented in Scotland, followed shortly thereafter by the invention of the word "DAMMIT!"
1410 - Drinky MacDrunkard discovered how to make single malt scotch. He was then beaten to death by his neighbors when they found out they had to wait 12 years before they could drink it.
1453 - Kurt MacCobain invented the plaid flannel kilt and followed it up with his hit song "Smells Like Distilled Spirits"
1570 - Godawful MacScreechy conceived the idea for a new musical instrument after getting drunk and accidentally setting fire to his cat.
1623 - The Scots invented money. That same year, they also invented tight-fisted skinflintery.
1697 - By a three-vote margin, the Scots lost the "Brawlingest Drunkards" award to the Irish. A title which the Irish still hold to this day.
1724 - Smartass MacJoker entered his newly created dish, haggis, into the Betty MacCrocker Cooking contest as a prank. The judges, being three sheets to the wind at the time, picked it as the winner, and the culinary atrocity has been a Scottish staple ever since.
1823 - Crazy MacWhacko stayed sober for an entire year, and was hung for treason.
1907 - Tipsy MacSwigger invented drunk driving.
2005 - An angry mob of Scottish descent kicked the crap out of a talentless hack Wisconsin blogger who mocked Tartan Day. The cheers were deafening.
2257 - Montgomery Scott, beloved alcoholic engineer of the Starship Enterprise, started a bar fight with some Klingons at Space Station K-7, thus finally bringing honor and the "Brawlingest Drunkards" trophy back to Scotland.
ยป Polis is under construction links with: A short history of Scotland
Excerpt: Being Scottish by way of a story made up about my great great great grandfather's dog's sister, I felt I must get in on this and found something I could steal. Blackfive handed me {{link http://badexample.mu.nu/archives/074460.php this post}} by Bad...
Weblog: Polis is under construction
Tracked: April 6, 2005 11:47 PM
Oh look - he finally posted something original on his own blog....
At least it's not on IMAO.
You and Grau both need a stern pummeling.
_Jon - technically it's not original, since I stole it from myself :-)
Would that be called auto-plagiarism?
(Which only sounds dirty)
Still funny as hell...
You forgot the year that the Scots invented the penny, making it possible to teach even very small children to be cheap.
Actually the Scot's invented the ha'penny...enabling children to be even skinflintier than thier parents
Dinnae forget the Farthing, which makes change for the ha'penny.
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