August 11, 2005
DON'T PISS OFF MY NIECE
Blogless niece Sarah (who needs to start thinking of a name for her blog so that I can set her up at Blogger next time I come to visit) sent me this evil thing:
(1) Carefully wrap offending garbage in several layers of newspaper.
***Newspaper must be from somewhere nowhere near your current hometown***
You will see why later in this lesson.....
(2) Now, you have a tidy little package--Tape it up good so it won't unwrap itself.
(3) Put tidy package in freezer.
(4) Do this with every batch of fish guts, heads, etc...Chicken skins, bones, etc... ALWAYS DO THIS!
(5) Now you have a half dozen of these frozen nasty bombs in the freezer. What now?
(6) These packages can be used in any number of ways. The benefit of these packages being frozen is that they will be detected LONG after you have left the scene, and if you used my advice with the newspaper coming from somewhere that you do not live, you won't even be a suspect.
(7) These are great fun for....
1) Mother n' Laws purse. This is very risky and should only be done at a family reunion, where there are lots and lots of suspects
2) Mother n' Laws file cabinet
3) Under the seat in Lucky Someones car
4) Behind DVD player in Lucky Someones entertainment center
5) Randomly tossed in In Laws messy garage (hide at least two, so when they finally find the first one, they think they got it, and wonder why the hell it still stinks in there)
6) Under the guest bed at Unsuspecting Uncle's house
7) Tucked under the hood of Lucky Someones car (It gets hot under there, so be careful where you put it. You don't want to burn down their car with a package of fish guts.)
8) In a seldom used kitchen cupboard belonging to Lucky Someone
9) Any linen closet is good. Everything will need to be washed because of the stink. That's just funny.
AND THE GREATEST OF ALL
#10 Stuffed in the heat vent or suspended basement ceiling at unsuspecting Uncle's house. (Same as #5, stash at least 2)
Ya'll excuse me while I go check under the guest bed...
ยป Jo's Cafe links with: TGIF Specials
Excerpt:
Weblog: Jo's Cafe
Tracked: August 12, 2005 06:08 AM
My dad taped a dead fish under someone's mailbox as a joke. Hot Florida sun... you get the idea.
My siblings and I put dog poop in my Aunt's suitcase once in revenge for her short sheeting us...
OK. I'm never letting any of you know where I live...
Must electrify the fence.
Here's a great one for the office, detatch the seat from someone's adjustable offcie chair and dump a half dozen frozen jumbo shrimp down the center tube that the seat attatches to (or any other piece of furnature, like a hollow desk leg, etc.)
When it rots it's one of the worst smells ever.
If you want it extra pungent rub some minced garlic on it first.
Does said niece have In-Laws?
Cause I feel sorry for them.
Just remember - I'm from Detroit, and I have guns.
The wise Ms.Q (acatnamedpi.blogspot.com) said, "I am starting to figure out that what the Beatles said applies to blog love: The love you take is equal to the love you make."
So, I wanted to stop by today and just say "Hi" because I enjoy your blog, but don't stop often enough and leave a comment. Also, I wanted to invite you to contribute to my "Bloggers Summer Photo Album." Read more about it at mooalex.blogspot.com. I hope you'll want to share your summer fun with the Moo!
(Yes, this is a "form comment," but I mean every word! I swear!)
(God bless you for saying "soft and curvy, the way a woman OUGHT to be!)
note to self...
leave only positive comments at the following blogs....
I would add to _Jon's comment that my guns are loaded and next weekend is the gun show and I'm buying another 1,000-2,000 rounds of ammo.
E-Mail Me (Harvey)
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://blog2.mu.nu/cgi/trackback.cgi/108043