August 21, 2005

THE LIFE AND TIMES OF INSTAPUNDIT

(A Filthy Lie cross-posted from IMAO)

I heard a rumor that Glenn Reynolds was writing his biography.

Apparently I was slightly misinformed.

Instead of cranking out some 957-page pile of blathering crap, he managed to condense his life into a single song.

And thanks to a little bit of covert hackery, I've managed to obtain a copy of his little ditty WEEKS before it hits iTunes.

Enjoy.

SYMPATHY FOR GLENN REYNOLDS
(with apologies to the Rolling Stones)
(see extended entry)



Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of hits and links
Always been atop the blogosphere
Even though my writing stinks
Got the power when I gave my soul
To Satan for a trade
All I needed was a hobo
In which to stick my blade
Pleased you linked me
I am NUMBER ONE!
But what’s puzzling you
Is how I get it done
I strolled around old Shanghai
Arm in arm with Chairman Mao
He wanted a commie dictatorship
I said I'd show him how
I was the skank
Who grabbed a puppy's flank
Made the blender whirr
Then the dog I drank.
Pleased you linked me
I am NUMBER ONE, oh yeah
Ah, what’s puzzling you
Is how I get it done, oh yeah
I danced with glee
Robot style, you see
Twitching my flat butt
And my flabby gut
I shouted out,
I'm gonna punch Frank J.
'cause don't you think
He looks a little gay?
Let me please introduce myself
I’m a man of hits and links
And I like penguin pornography
It's just one of my little kinks
Pleased you linked me
I am NUMBER ONE, oh yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is how I get it done, oh yeah, link me, baby
Pleased you linked me
I'm still NUMBER ONE, oh yeah
But what’s confusing you
Is how I get it done
Just as every blog wants an Instalanche
And I won't give one out
Ignored blogs
Just call me Evil Glenn
’cause I only link Ann Althouse
So if you link me
Have some courtesy
Bow down and kiss my ring
Link all my Hmmms, Hehs, and Indeeds
I'm the Ecosystem's KING!
Pleased you linked me
I am NUMBER ONE, um yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is how I get it done, um link it, get down
Blog! Blog!
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!
Link me baby, 'cause I'm NUMBER ONE
Link me honey, I'm so NUMBER ONE
Link me baby, 'cause I'm NUMBER ONE
I blog all the time, and I get it done
Blog! Blog!
Blog! Blog!
Blog! Blog!
Blog! Blog! Blog!
Blog! Blog! Blog!
Blog! Blog! Blog!
Blog! Blog! Blog!
Oh, yeah
I'm NUMBER ONE
Link me, baby, I'm NUMBER ONE
Link me, sweetie, I'm NUMBER ONE
Blog! Blog! Blog!
Blog! Blog! Blog!
Blog! Blog! Blog!
Blog! Blog! Blog!
Blog! Blog! Blog!
Blog! Blog! Blog!
Blog! Blog! Blog!
Oh, yeah

posted by Harvey on August 21, 2005 at 07:48 PM | Permalink | 1 Liars | TrackBack | Filthy Lies
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Comments on THE LIFE AND TIMES OF INSTAPUNDIT
Nick Queen exemplified on August 21, 2005 09:47 PM

Great!

I honestly thought Reynold's would take a song from Boy George, but this hits all the points, and stays close to his dark nature.