MY VERY FIRST 39TH BIRTHDAY!

First I want to thank Blake of Laughing Wolf for making it possible for Beloved Wife to give me my birthday spankings in grand style.

And yes, I'm writing this post standing up.

Anyway, wanna see all the presents I found under my birthday tree yesterday?

Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite gifted me with some classy apparel.

Niece/blogdaughter Sarah of That's Not Very Nice offers a link to these attractive hillbillies. There's some cleavage in the last picture if you want to wait for it to download.

She also gave me an actual gift last time I visited:

(click to enlarge)

Life Partner (don't ask) Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks apparently doesn't know that I was raised in a small town & not on a farm. Nevertheless, he ameliorates the faux pas by posting a pic of Sarah Michelle Geller... apparently in an air-conditioned room... and possibly after receiving implants.

Blogstump Contagion of Miasmatic Review goes above & beyond by mixing his wife's rack with foamy cheese goodness.

Identical cousin Blogsons Chuck & Roger of Class Mishaps remembered me, and Chuck even drew a comic. Sadly, I didn't have a "Nicole" in my class until 6th grade.

Blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice posted a nice pair of hand-warmers.

A plethora of gifts from Bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks. My "special" bookmarks folder just got a LOT more crowded.

Bloggreatgranddaughter Sticks of From Chaos to Serendipity has a nice little sumthin'-sumthin', plus a word of warning to all you wanna-be inventors out there.

It took bloggranddaughter Sissy of And What Next... 5 tries but she finally got it right. Have to admire her persistence.

By the way, that says "Focus On Your Goals...Just Dont Get Caught Focusing" in case you can't read it.

Blogson That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom (now with more MuNuey goodness!) takes the educational route. I feel smarter already.

Harvey of IMAO managed to sneak some cleavage onto IMAO under the guise of a Precision Guided Humor Assignment.

SarahK of Mountaineer Musings forgot that hotlinking is a bad thing, so you can't see the picture she got for me unless you check her comments.

Naughty, bandwidth-stealing SarahK! Just for that, I won't vote for your picture.

*dons Kevlar vest*

I think Susie of Practical Penumbra is accusing me of sexual harassment. I guess I'll need to study her SH policy a little more closely

Pam of Pamibe gets it right on the first try. The second try is a little more dubious, but technically accurate.

Lynn of Reflections in D Minor didn't specifically post this for my birthday, but I'm sure she was thinking of me while composing the post.

Jen of Jennifer's History & Stuff remembered me, though giftlessly. But she gets a pass because it was her birthday too.

I gave her present to her in the comments to THIS post.

I hope I at least make it to the second round.

Bloggranddaughter ArmyWifeToddlerMom apparently knows about my muppet fetish.

Blogdaughter Teresa of Technicalities apparently knows about my brunette fetish.

Blogson Andrew of Custos Honor apparently doesn't know that my fetish for muscular women ends at the arms.

Blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only! claimed not to have gotten me anything, but that's DEFINITELY a pair of headlights at the top of his page.

Ogre of Ogre's Politics & Views offers a troublesome set. At least PARTS of them are still perky.

Blogson Jeff of Ponytailed Conservative recycles an old gift.

Geez, you'd think he'd at least dig up something fresh so that he could Google-bait for Nude Olsen Twins.

Physics Geek has several sets to show off, one of which is covered by a darn spiffy T-shirt.

I should put that on a thong & sell it myself.

Jim of Snooze Button Dreams offers no cleavage, just one lonely boobie.

Bloggranddaughter Denise of A Peek Inside My Mind remembered me breastlessly, but I *do* want to say thanks :-)

Richmond of One For The Road wanted to keep her site family-friendly, but she DID e-mail me a lovely set of stunt-boobs:

It's possible that their from one of these blondes that she mentions.

TJ of New, Interesting, and Funny sent me a breastastic link. The "special" bookmarks folder continues to fill up.

By the way, if you've never been to his site, it's like Instapundit without the puppy-blending. Lots of informative links without the annoying pretense of commentary.

Bet you find SOMETHING you like.

Jay of Accidental Verbosity tried to keep it clean and - unfortunately - succeeds. There's some nice 8-track pr0n, though.

Basil of Basil's Blog mentions that I share my birthday with his daughter.

Hey! THAT'S not dirty!

And there's no an ounce of smut ANYWHERE on that blog.

But I *did* find some underfed hippy chicks by clicking on one of his ads.

*sigh*

Maybe next year.

Phin of Phin's Blog does MUCH better. Makes Lara Croft look like Olive Oyl.

Dr. Phat Tony has a candid shot, probably from a local Wal-Mart.

James of Partamanian Report didn't post a present deliberately, but he did leave a comment, and when I took a peek at his site, I found that he pointed a link to a leather-clad, all-girl Iron Maiden tribute band. What's not to love about that?

Oh, and he turns 35 on the 17th.

Caltechgirl of Not Exactly Rocket Science gives me... OH! That's just CRUEL!

Girl, you OWE me.

Meanwhile, here's a vaguely boob-related image from her site.

GBFan of Spotted Horse spared a warm thought, but no handwarmers.

Nevertheless, I found a quote worth putting in my sidebar, so that's just as good.

Oh, and some cake pr0n.

Beth of MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy sent me a sweet & thoughtful e-mail, then offered me cybersex.

And she looks good in a thong, too.

I think that's everything.

If you think you've been snubbed or if you spot a broken link, holler in the comments.