March 22, 2006
MEN IN A NUTSHELL
Richmond of One For the Road says that to understand men, all you need to do is understand the 7 questions that drive their lives:
1. Am I hungry?
2. Am I horny?
3. Do I have to pee?
4. Is the game on?
5. Will this get me laid?
6. Am I sleepy?
7. Will this make me money?
Can't really argue with this list. And the number 8 for married guys rounds it out exquisitely:
8. Is my wife gonna yell at me if I.....?
However, I think she may be slightly off on answering this particular question:
"Why don't men see things that need to be picked up?"
The truth is, every person - men AND women - have a certain tolerance for chaos & disorder in their living environment. A certain amount of "scattered objects and dust-bunnies" above which the irresistable desire to restore order kicks in. And the level is different for everyone.
So, in ANY given couple, someone will crack under the stress of needing to clean before the other person. Usually it's the woman.
However, when I got married, Beloved Wife had a higher tolerance for chaos than I did, and I could never figure out how SHE could manage to "not see things that needed to be picked up".
Which left me with three courses of action:
1) Change her
2) Clean up after her
3) Adopt her level of chaos tolerance
I chose option 3, and we've lived happily ever after, even if there ARE a few things that need putting away.
How YOU folks choose to solve the "chaos gap", I leave to your own discretion.
Our choas gap is huge
I'm a neat freak.
My BetterHalf however is a self admitted slob.
I absolutely positively refuse to go to option 3.
Especially not with 2 kids.
So about once a week I actually get to snap the whip a bit and get her to help me out.
The rest of the week I assume the household cleaning duties. All I ask of her in that time is fold the laundry and empty the dishwasher. I'll do everything else
And I like Bloodspite have come to terms with the the fact that "nobody cares but me" anyway... Crack the whip? Yes I do, occasionally.
I definitely wish others cared too though, sometimes.... :)
And those who remain happily married almost never choose option #1...
Congrats on recognizing this, Harv, as it's a key to a happy relationship.
Heh, yeah Ogre, like many women can be changed in a marriage anyway.
That's like teaching a cat how to fetch.
My husband and I have different tolerances for chaos in different areas. If something is bugging me then I clean it up. If something is bugging him then he cleans it up. Seems to have worked so far. *grin*
Man, that's what I did wrong! *Takes notes* I'll have to try this if I ever find myself in that situation again.
Harv, you are the gayest straight boy I know.
I wish I could honestly say I didn't understand what you mean, but as my SO has a significantly greater chaos tolerance than I , I do know exactly know what you mean. I just lowered my tolerance. Count on you to take the high road.
And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
I'm married to Monk, as in the character from the TV show. And I have clutter issues. I'm not slovenly by any stretch, but I'm not a neat freak either. He has adapted to me, trying to be OK with the chaos that can be my life and I know what really pushes his buttons and try to make sure I don't bug the ever living crap out of him.
We can't change each other, but we've met somewhere in the middle. And when he finally gets all OCD on me, I just stay out of his way and know he'll work through it.
Og - Hey! I'm NOT gay!
Although I *do* love the feel of TNT's muscular arms holding me close.
Oh, and show tunes. LOVE those show tunes! :-)
Harvey's Gay! Harvey's Gay!
But hey, you can't be fired from any job now...
E-Mail Me (Harvey)
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