June 05, 2006
PEOPLE I'M CUTTING OUT OF MY WILL:
Bloggreatgranddaughter Tink of Tink's Tribulations, because she memed me:
5 things in my fridge:
1) International Delight Vanilla Toffee Caramel flavored coffee creamer - tastiest thing I've ever put in coffee with the possible exception of heavy cream.
2) Vault Zero - Zero calories, good flavor, lots of caffeine, and Vault has the BEST commercial ever put on film.
3) Two packets of strawberry banana smoothie mix - I have no idea where this stuff came from, since I'm not overly fond of strawberries, bananas, OR smoothies. I'm guessing it was something that was given to Beloved Wife TNT (who posted 3 new things this weekend), who was too polite to refuse it and too much of a packrat to throw it away. I think that stuff's been in there for about 2 years now.
4) Eleven pounds of margarine - Seriously. When TNT bakes, she makes HUGE batches, and she hates running out of ingredients, so she tends to stock up.
5) Walden Farms Calorie Free Chocolate Flavored Syrup - It ain't Hershey's, but for calorie-free, it's amazingly flavorful. So much so that I doubt that it's REALLY calorie free. Mostly because I found it in the Hippy Food aisle of the grocery store, and hippies lie.
5 items in my closet:
1) At least 50 cigars
2) An iron
3) My slightly water-damaged, oversized book of "29 Full Color MC Escher Prints"
4) A rifle
5) A selection of VERY ugly ties that I refuse to wear in public
5 items in my purse:
Since I don't have a purse, I'll tell you what I normally carry in my wallet (which is the male equivalent of a purse):
1) An "emergency $20"
2) Three band-aids
3) Our engagement picture - because someone once chastised me for not carrying a picture of my wife.
4) Mounds Pet Food Frequent Buyer Card
5) Library card
5 items in my car:
1) Cell phone - I only have one because of my fear of roadside emergencies, anyway.
2) A pad of paper - because I never know when Bosco might poke me with the Pointy Stick O' Inspiration.
3) A pen - see item #2
4) An umbrella
5) An emergency necktie - when I worked at the bank, I would - on rare occasions - forget to put on a tie before rushing out the door. This solved that problem. And although I no longer work at the bank, I still leave it in the car. Never know when I might sever a limb and need a tourniquet.
Next victims:
Linus of Pepper of the Earth - HA! Let's see him find a way to incorporate his elegant prose into THIS one!
Susie of Practical Penumbra - Enough of her "woman of mystery" act. Let's find out the frightening truth about her.
Wandering Gunslinger of Gunpowder Grotto - I've had enough of HIS "woman of mystery" act, too.
ยป Practical Penumbra links with: Blogfiller...
Excerpt: Harvey tagged me, and for once I'm grateful because it gives me something to blog about.... 5 things in my fridge: * Half a half gallon of 2% milk * A quarter of a gallon of Arizona iced tea * 4 eggs * Vicks Nyquil (it tastes better cold) *...
Weblog: Practical Penumbra
Tracked: June 13, 2006 08:04 PM
What? No condom in your wallet? Boy you are getting old! :)
Vasectomy :-)
Thank you, Dear Harvey! Now I have something to blog about--tomorrow....
What "woman of mystery" thing? Wait, are you talking about the post that I'm writing right now? HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT?!
"a rifle"? damn, boy, how you ever think you're gonna convince folks you're a straight man if you do stuff like that? " a Marlin Bolt Action 22" or "a winchester 30-30" is the answer, not "A Rifle". And bandaids in your wallet? damn. I wear a bandaid maybe once a year, the rest fo the time I just let the cuts and scrapes bleed and scab over. Bandaids are for people who think scars are icky. Scars rock.
Band-aids are also for people who don't want to get blood on their customers' paperwork :-)
THAT is perfectly acceptible. Sorry I cast aspersions. The "rifle" thing still goes, though. Unless it's something very illegal and clandestine.
How's that emergency $20 working out for you? Mine lasted for about 2 months; I never replaced it.
Mine's been in there a couple years. I keep forgetting about it :-)
I can't very well say "No," Harvey, because I've pinged you for these victim memes in the past. Should be interesting, since I have neither purse nor car. And the closet, well, they could have saved so much Jimmy Hoffa time if only ... uh ... did I say that out loud?
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