July 01, 2006
EVIL GLENN'S INDEPENDENCE DAY
(A FILTHY LIE holiday classic)
I was strolling through the park recently when I came across a familiar socks-and-sandals-clad figure doing... something... Curious, I inquired...
Harv: Hey Glenn, whatcha doin'
Evil Glenn: GAH! Don't sneak up on me like that. Don't you ever knock?
Harv: Ok [KNOCK!]
Evil Glenn: Ow! My head!
Harv: Happy now?
Evil Glenn [rubbing rapidly swelling knot on his forehead]: It's a start. Anyway, if you MUST know, I'm setting up my Independence Day fireworks celebration by wiring bricks of C-4 to this helpless family of adorable fuzzy little bunny rabbits.
Harv: That's evil!
Evil Glenn: Lawyer.
Harv: Yeah, but this is beyond lawyer evil. It's practically French.
Evil Glenn: Like defending Saddam Hussein against war crimes charges?
Harv: Exactly
Evil Glenn: Well, I was turned down for that gig because I blend puppies.
Harv: Ah, I see, you were too evil.
Evil Glenn: Not evil enough. Jacques Verges uses an industrial paper shredder.
Harv: No wonder he's defending Saddam. Anyway, I'm going to have to stop you from harming those cute little animals
Evil Glenn: It's ok, I'm making them wear eye protection. The won't be harmed, just exploded.
Harv: Well, as long as you're taking precautions, I guess it's ok. Have fun.
Too bad Glenn's a little fuzzy on the concept of "minimum safe distance", because, when I heard the explosion, I turned around and took a picture. This is what I saw:
(see extended entry for exciting conclusion):
(click to enlarge)
Hope those bunnies are ok.
INSTAPUNO DELENDA EST!
E-Mail Me (Harvey)
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