They are hiding them from you grand-dad. I told you and told you there would consequences to using that attorney for target practice.

Did you try Walgreens or CVS or one of those places? They generally have what you're looking for in single pad sales. Actually if you wait for just about 2-3 more weeks - they will have all that crap out everywhere for the "back to school sales". (Right now you're in mid-summer downtime.)

Keep your eyes open because they'll start discounting stuff and advertising to bring in the moms and kids. The other option is if you're near a college campus (community college will do) hit up the book store there and you'll very likely find what you need.

Unfortunately because most places that need legal pads use a mass quantity of them, most places only sell in bulk. IE my office when we buy legal pads anything less then 12 won't last a week.

As for the pen... there are so many different types it's hard to stock everyone... However, I think you've set your criteria too high. Ya picky bastard.

Look for Zebra F-301s. (I think that's the model number) Black, fine point, push button, about $3 for two of them. Or, if you have a Sam's Club card, a 10 pack for about $10.

They're the pens I used to use at Pizza Pit.

Yeah, I'm a pen-nazi. What of it? When both of my grandmothers retired from Parker Pen...

Weird. Like me trying to find that funky lined paper for kids to learn how to write their letters. Go ahead.. see if you can find it on your search for a pen.

You might want to try looking on-line first to see if they carry it and then call ahead to see if they have it in stock. ;-)

I think Ken Lay took them all for revenge when he died...

Some of the best pens I come across are drug rep spiffs. They pass them out like cheap beads at a Mardi Gras parade, and usually, they write very well.

One of the docs I know is so innundated with them, he's begun selling them on ebay.

My personal favorite is a very *substantial* "Viagra" pen that writes beautifully and could easily crack the skull of a moose (or at least wallop a beaver...) My only complaint: It doesn't fit in my shirt pocket, and it's just too hard to keep in my pants! ;)

The fact that Devildog has a specific model pen almost disturbs me, not so much that he can name the model number, but more because it is also the only pen I use myself, a Beryl Mirado 372-2 as my pencil of choice.(considering they stopped making the F-501 5 years ago and my cache has dried up.)

However, I think you'll find the cap is mostly metal.

Hang around doctor's offices. Most of the cheapie pens drug reps give out will fit the bill and think how Freudian stylin' you'll be chewing on the end of a bright yellow Cialis stick.

Hm.

Upon further pondering, I realized that there is another decent push button pen out there, that isn't too expensive...

Pilot push-buttons come in a fine point, and are a decent pen, and a little cheaper than the Zebras. They look chintzy, but, they write decently, and they have a lot of ink.

Plastic push-button, too, to save the teeth after long hours of chewing...