July 08, 2006

IMAO: BEHIND THE BLOG

(A Filthy Lie)

IMAO is celebrating its 4th blogiversary this Sunday and I thought this would be a good time to post an insider's perspective.

When they hear that I blog at IMAO, most people say "Oh! How wonderful to work for a man like Frank J., who oozes funny as effortlessly as Michael Moore's belly-rolls ooze sweat!"

Well, the oozing IS great, but there are... other aspects... to the position that are somewhat less glamorous. For example:



* During the original "IMAO Initiation Ceremony"... well, I'm forbidden to give specifics, but let's just say that there's a REASON that I curl up into a fetal position and start crying whenever I see jumper cables.

* When Frank J. refers to the "IMAO Editorial Board", he's actually talking about the two by four that he beats us with while screaming "WRITE FUNNIER!"

* Once a year, all the team members have to make a pilgrimmage to Florida to pee on his cat's head for luck.

* If you write a post that gets less than 10 comments, he makes you eat a live scorpion while he watches on a webcam.

* About once a month, Frank sends out an e-mail with the subject "I've got a GREAT idea!!!". Also about once a month, the balance in the "IMAO Bail Money Fund" drops to zero.

* When Frank J. cuts the IMAO paychecks, he writes "money for funny" on the memo line. Unfortunately, his crappy handwriting makes it look like "money for fellatio". I get the oddest looks at the bank.



But aside from those few little quirks, writing for IMAO is still a good gig. And I want to thank Frank for starting IMAO, keeping it going, and inviting me on board.

In gratitude, I bought him this little gift, which I hope he finds useful:

posted by Harvey on July 8, 2006 at 12:57 PM | Permalink | 15 Liars | TrackBack | Filthy Lies
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