Instapundit's Exciting Weekend

(A Filthy Lie cross-posted from IMAO)

Saw this at Reynolds' site:

my younger brother worked as an assistant there, boiling down corpses in turpentine with his grad-student girlfriend. Now that's an exciting weekend...

Giving his hobo-murdering habits, this one isn't TOO surprising, but it does make me wonder what ELSE this guy does for fun.

Unfortunately I found out. Turn's out he's going to be spending THIS weekend at a ski resort in Vail, Colorado, indulging in one of his favorite recreational sports:

EXTREME PUPPY BLENDING!

Now that's an exciting weekend...

TECH ASSISTANCE REQUESTED

From blogson _Jon of We Swear:

Have any of y'all got any experience with the Lego System or Sumo Wrestling Robots? Specifically, I'm looking for software designs that have been used by robots in previous competitions. It appears competitors are quite quiet with regard to their robot's AI....

Where's Dr. Frink when you need him?

Protest Rallies - Opportunity for Inclusiveness

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment cross-posted from IMAO)

A recent DC anti-war protest turned out some disappointing numbers for the screeching loony left, and I can't help thinking that they could REALLY improve their attendance figures if they made the events just a LITTLE more red-stater friendly. After all, liberals ARE about being open-minded & non-judgmental, right?

Since I consider myself a fairly typical warmongering, right-wing, gun nut, here's what they could do to get ME to show up to one of their little kook-keggers:

* More crazy naked PETA chicks [PG13]!

* I'd really enjoy a Dick Cheney hunter safety course, because every time I try to shoot a lawyer, I end up hitting a quail in the face.

* Sell "Ann Coulter Gone Wild!" DVD's

* Schedule the protest on a weekend so that the gainfully employed can attend.

* Ergonomic comfort-gel Sof-Grip protest sign-handles ("Just say 'NO' to splinters!")

* Free John Kerry silhouette shooting targets ("10 points for the important-looking hair!")

* Free Korans - I've got a wobbly table with a short leg at home.

* Free shampoo - which I'll gladly provide myself if they promise to use it. Seriously - who's the lunatic who told white people they could wear dreadlocks?

* Free Palestine - I always see booths offering it, but when I get there, they never have any. I wonder if it's like funnel cake?

* Ban braless grandmothers.

Anyway, what would get YOU to go to a anti-war protest rally?

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

You know you're in love when you think about that person, and your stomach gets all fuzzy and squishy.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[I [heart] Christina]

"OO!" thought Miss Aguilera, "what a thoughtful gift! I'll put this over my crotch and have my picture taken, since that'll mean that I won't technically be nude. Only sleazy skanks pose NUDE!"

TOO SOON... TOO SOON...

Blogson Peter of Shakey Pete's Shootin' Shack lost his dog, George:

I have nothing to offer, except this, which I found at McDarlins Calligraphy:

George, I wish you an eternity of sunny meadows and slow, fat rabbits.

Rest well, boy.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Love is when the woman of your dreams becomes a reality and sleep stops being a priority.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(new 20)]

That blue bird on the left side of the bill is NOT an eagle. It's actually supposed to represent a quail dodging a load of birdshot from Dick Cheney's gun.

MEANWHILE AT ALLIANCE HQ

Filthy Lie Assignment reminder: Besides boiling down corpses in turpentine, what else does Evil Glenn think makes for "an exciting weekend"? due by 11pm EST Friday, March 31st. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Wednesday Linky Stuff

Basil's Blog Tip: Alternatives to Blogger: MSN Spaces

Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Attracting More Protesters

New Precision Guided Humor Assignment: How does Rep. Cynthia McKinney(D-GA) demonstrate her "support" for the Capitol Hill Police?

Harvey's message to those who do Alliance Assignments

GOTTA KEEP THE GIRLS HAPPY

Blogdaughter/niece Sarah of That's Not Very Nice! posted about her spring cleaning adventure, and in the comments, Richmond of One for the Road lamented:

Yay Spring cleaning! I just wish we could win a prize or something....

Gotcha covered, sweetie:

How's that?

UPDATE: per Richmond's suggestion in the comments:

"Si, Señora Richmond, I have much sweaty from waxing your floors. May I now to be - how you say - buffing your muffin, por favor?"

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

If I had never met her, I would have dreamed her into being.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Happy Birthday Linda Love, Glory & Allen]

"It's just what I wanted," exclaimed Linda, "a new coke straw!"

LAUGHING WOLF INTERVIEW POSTED

I only mention this because it contains the phrase "ergonomic flogger".

That, and he explains that Queen & Playboy photographer incident.

See Basil for the whole thing.

NOT *MY* PROBLEM

I saw that Beth of She Who Will Be Obeyed posted a link to WEBoggle.

Which I passed along to Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite.

She'd hate me for getting her hooked on it, but that would cut into her playing time.

MEANWHILE AT ALLIANCE HQ

Precision Guided Humor Assignment reminder: How could anti-war protest rallies attract more participants? due by 11:59pm EDT Wednesday, March 29th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Monday Linky Stuff

Susie's FYI - Broken Bear

Overlooked Filthy Lie

And 4 more

Filthy Lie Round-up: Visiting InstaGrandma

New Filthy Lie Assignment: Besides boiling down corpses in turpentine, what else does Evil Glenn think makes for "an exciting weekend"?

COURTESY LINKAGE

The Carnival of Republican Freedom is up at YoungRepublican4NY. Kind of a low turnout this week, but maybe Ogre & Freedom Folks might want to drop something in the hopper for next time to encourage the budding right-wing host?

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

It only takes a second to say "I love you", but it will take a lifetime to show you how much.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(red stripe over Washington's portrait)]

To help prevent counterfeiting, the new design for the $1 bill includes the "cinnamon flavor strip" security feature.

Will the Scandals Never End?

[cross-posted from IMAO]

(click to enlarge)

Lynndie England's younger, hotter sister, Emily, hard at work in the Abu Ghraib Daycare Center

(either that, or whatever CENTCOM says it is)

Why Glenn Reynolds Loves His Grandma

(A Filthy Lie cross-posted from IMAO)

While surfing Instapundit, I was stopped dead in my tracks by this line:

"I've been hanging out with my grandmother, and enjoying it."

Odd. Outside of eating her chocolate chip cookies, I never enjoyed MY grandmother's company. Although her habit of balancing her dentures on her nose, tossing them up in the air, and catching them in her mouth may have had something to do with it.

Anyway, turns out that there are two reasons Glenn enjoys visiting Granny so much.

First, she always takes him out hobo-hunting:

"Look! It's Nick Nolte! Let's get 'im!"

Second, Elly May is totally freakin' HOT!

Now before you go "EWWWW! She's his cousin! That's just WRONG!", just be relieved that it's not his sister.

Not that THAT matters in Tennessee.

BEST D&D CARTOON EVER

I took a tip from bloggrandson Neonangel of Lyrical Coma, and checked out "The Order of the Stick", a thrice-weekly serial web comic.

Now, I was not an obsessive gamer in high school, but the rest of my friends from chess club were, and I went on a handful of campaigns. Enough to know what "roll for initiative" means, anyway.

So if you've even a passing knowledge of D&D, I think you'll find it amusing.

I'll give you 3 places to choose from for your first visit:

Comic #1 (it's very nearly at #300 now) - Get in on the ground floor and read them in order.

Comic #143 - A typical instance of the humor - the illustrations are of the player characters inside their quest, while the dialogue is pretty much what you'd hear from the players as they sit in the basement drinking Mountain Dew & eating Cheetos. This tickles me, for some reason.

Comic #136 - The Weapons Shop sketch - an homage to Monty Python (you KNEW there would be one in there somewhere, right?).

Anyway, I now return you to your regularly scheduled World of Warcraft session.

CTHULHU IN A BUSINESS SUIT

(A Filthy Lie)

I always suspected Evil Glenn was just too evil to be human, but in today's User Friendly comic strip, I finally have proof.

Sure, they don't specifically mention his name, but who else would a c-list blogger send an e-mail to?

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

I love you more now than when you began to read this sentence.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Rubber stamp: Where is John Croll)]

One of hundreds of Ayn Rand's "near misses" as she struggled to perfect the opening line of "Atlas Shrugged".

THE CURSE OF YOUR NAME

Alexa of NY Hotties [NC17] brings up an interesting topic:

X and I have been dating casually for a while now. Unfortunately, my attempt at distraction didn’t work. He soon began to sing:

“Well I’m on the Downeaster Alexa
And I’m cruising through la la la la
I have charted la la la la la la—�

Okay. It’s bad enough sharing a name with a mediocre Billy Joel song. What sucks even more is no one actually knows the words to said mediocre song past the title line.

Me, I'm lucky. No songs about Harvey.

But people DO mention Harvey the Rabbit.

And Paul Harvey.

And the drink Harvey Wallbanger (had one once - didn't like it).

So all in all, not TOO terribly bad.

How about YOU?

MAYBE I'M UNDERREACTING

So a guy disciplined his 6-year old twin boys with shock collars, and got felony child abuse charges.

I've never trained dogs, so I don't know for sure, but are these things REALLY that much worse than a spanking?

And can we get these put on our congress-critters so that we can discourage them from voting for tax increases?

If Democrats Ran Iraq

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment cross-posted from IMAO)

The new Iraqi Parliament that was elected last December has finally been sworn in, but - due to an egregious mix-up at the ballot box - it turned out that all those elected were actually American Democrats.

Vowing to "do for Iraq what Bushitler won't let us do for America", the new Parliament promised to do the following during its first 100 days:

* No more death penalty. Except for those who refer to a person of murder as a "terrorist"

* Also outlawed will be the phrase "camel jockey", unless it's used at an actual camel race.

* Or by a rap artist.

* It will be illegal to bow toward Mecca at a public school.

* Having a non-denominational "moment of bending" isn't acceptable either.

* No one will be allowed to draw cartoons of Jesus, Buddha, or Moses. However, the Iraqi government WILL fund artworks such as the urine-soaked holy book, "Whiz Koran".

* No cartoons of Cindy Sheehan, either, because her son died for George Bush's sins.

* BUUUUUUUUUUUSH! *shakes fist at sky*

* Floor sweeping will be forbidden in all bars and restaurants, due to the hazards of "secondhand dirt".

* Meanwhile, the tax on brooms will be raised another 50 cents.

* No one will be allowed to own a gun except for police and persons of murder.

* Camel spiders will now be considered an endangered species, and no oil drilling will be allowed in their habitats.

* Unless the oil is being sold to France, Germany, Russia, or China.

* All camels will be required to get an average of 28 miles per gallon of water.

* 38 for the economy 1-hump models

* Witnesses in court trials have to swear to tell the truth while placing their hand on a copy of "Heather Has Two Mommies".

* All of Saddam's old presidential Palaces will be re-named "The Robert C. Byrd Memorial Palace", followed by a Roman numeral.

* And stop nagging Senator Byrd to apologize for his Klan membership! You people are like a pitbull on a mailman's leg with that!

* All sand dunes will be made wheelchair accessible.

* The new Iraqi flag will be an upside down American flag with a picture of Michael Moore's butt on it.

* Women will have equal rights. To apply for these rights, they should send a resume to intern@cigarsinparliament.com.

MEANWHILE AT ALLIANCE HQ

Filthy Lie Assignment Reminder: Why did Evil Glenn have so much fun hanging out with his grandmother? due by 11:59pm EDT Friday, March 24th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Wednesday Linky Stuff

Basil's Blog Tip: Backing Up Your Blog

Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Iraqi Laws

New Precision Guided Humor Assignment: How could anti-war protest rallies attract more participants?

IT'S A GIRL!

Bloggranddaughter Rave of Quid Nunc just popped out a brand new baby blogdaughter.

And - believe it or not - it's NOT a relative!

The Bad Example Family gene pool is actually getting some new DNA!

So let's wave a little pink rattle to distract Hippie of Bohemian Rhapsody while we peek at her site:

Moving right along, and changing gears with a ragged grinding of mental metal - Wal-Mart lesbian midgets.

No, I'm NOT Google-baiting, that's actually the subject of her post.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

If I know what love is, it is because of you.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

...and I used it to make Keef Kat, Toka-Cola, Stoney Ranchers, Trippy peanut butter and Pot Tarts

MEN IN A NUTSHELL

Richmond of One For the Road says that to understand men, all you need to do is understand the 7 questions that drive their lives:

1. Am I hungry?
2. Am I horny?
3. Do I have to pee?
4. Is the game on?
5. Will this get me laid?
6. Am I sleepy?
7. Will this make me money?

Can't really argue with this list. And the number 8 for married guys rounds it out exquisitely:

8. Is my wife gonna yell at me if I.....?

However, I think she may be slightly off on answering this particular question:

"Why don't men see things that need to be picked up?"

The truth is, every person - men AND women - have a certain tolerance for chaos & disorder in their living environment. A certain amount of "scattered objects and dust-bunnies" above which the irresistable desire to restore order kicks in. And the level is different for everyone.

So, in ANY given couple, someone will crack under the stress of needing to clean before the other person. Usually it's the woman.

However, when I got married, Beloved Wife had a higher tolerance for chaos than I did, and I could never figure out how SHE could manage to "not see things that needed to be picked up".

Which left me with three courses of action:

1) Change her
2) Clean up after her
3) Adopt her level of chaos tolerance

I chose option 3, and we've lived happily ever after, even if there ARE a few things that need putting away.

How YOU folks choose to solve the "chaos gap", I leave to your own discretion.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

[Found at and modified from Aussie Wife]

In the morning's clear light
I study the face I know so well
I am filled with a boundless love
as my gaze travels over familiar curves and contours
I see the peacefulness that deep sleep brings
when the essence of the person hides within
then she awakes and the face is transformed
a sleepy smile and a request for morning loving
the weekend has begun

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Fran lost a bet]

Well... sort of.

FOR STRAIGHT WHITE ERIC

Who mourns the passing of the well-dressed man.

How to tie a tie.

I did this for 7 years working for the bank, yet always had issues getting the finished project to sit with the tip perfectly atop the belt buckle, as it ought to be. Each tie I own has its own idiosyncrasies of fabric thickness and width, which makes attaining the "just right" length more of an art than a science.

Plus the Windsor is an unforgiving knot. Virtually no leeway for adjusting the finished product. If you screw it up, you have to start over.

Still, it's a talent worth learning.

Now if only I could figure out how to shine my shoes instead of just making them a vaguely-glossy black.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Had I no eyes but ears, my ears would love
That inward beauty and invisible;
Or were I deaf, thy outward parts would move
Each part in me that were but sensible:
Though neither eyes nor ears, to hear nor see,
And nothing but the very smell were left me,

Yet should I be in love by touching thee.
Say, that the sense of feeling were bereft me,
And that I could not see, nor hear, nor touch,
Yet would my love to thee be still as much;

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Paper quarter)]

From "Counterfeiting For Dummies", p. 137:

"When counterfeiting coinage, resist the temptation to hand-draw, and keep in mind that paper is NOT an appropriate medium for this endeavor."

THIS ONE JUST MAKES MY BRAIN EXPLODE

Found this at American Digest

(click to enlarge)

Square A and Square B are the same color.

I saw the animated video which proves it. It didn't convince me.

I read the explanation. It didn't convince me.

I downloaded the pic, opened it up in MS Paint, cut out a chunk of square B and slid it up to square A...

After about 5 minutes of sliding that little section back & forth, I was finally convinced.

Try it yourself.

MEN SUCK - TELL US SOMETHING WE *HAVEN'T* HEARD

Bloggranddaughter Rave of Quid Nunc is throwing a little gas on the fire:

"Why is it (and I may be skewed a bit in my thinking as I am female) that most men do not remember 'things' and most women do?

I'm not talking about just 'remembering' them, but actually 'remembering to do them'.

There's 3 reasons men forget to do stuff

1) We actually forgot.

2) We haven't yet found an uninterrupted 2-hour block of time to get a good start on a major project, but hope to this weekend. Meanwhile, "I forgot" provokes a better response from most females than "quit nagging".

3) Don't really wanna do this project because it's a dumb idea, and we tried to tell you that in the first place, but you wouldn't listen. Now we're just hoping you'll forget about it eventually.

Hope that explains things.

Meanwhile, does anyone recognize that movie she mentioned where the new wife uses a dog-training manual to adjust her husband's behavior?

TWO FOR THE LADIES

The Cleaning Hunk

[From the comments at A Swift Kick and a Band-Aid]

While you're at it, go see Grouchy Old Cripple & try to find the dogs hidden in the picture.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

[New note, not previously posted]

(Introduction)

As the raindrop scatters the sun's light into a rainbow, so your love scatters joy into my life.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Bud Money]

From "Blackfive's Guide to Serious Drinkin' for the Non-Irish", p. 27:

"Shortly after inventing the Irish Palm Pilot, I came up with yet another brilliant idea:

On Dollar Beer Night, always label your bills before you head out to the bar. That way, even if you're too drunk to remember what to order, you can still get the beer you want.

Think of it as a 'designated driver' for your wallet."

Everything You've Always Wanted to Know About Instapundit, But Were Too Afraid to Ask

(A Filthy Lie cross-posted from IMAO)

Sure, you know about the puppy blending, hobo-murdering, Satan-worshipping, commie praising, robot dancing, Frank J. punching, and penguin porn, but here are some things you DIDN'T know about Glenn Reynolds:

* Glenn Reynolds writes Garfield fan-strips, all of which end with Odie getting stuffed into a blender.

* They're STILL less predictable than the ones Jim Davis writes.

* You know that asteroid belt between Mars & Jupiter? That used to be a planet until Glenn Reynolds thought about linking to it.

* The KKK was completely harmless until Glenn Reynolds suggested that they put eye-holes in their hoods.

* Spammers originally got the idea for sending out a million e-mails per day by watching Glenn Reynolds post at Instapundit.

* It was Glenn Reynolds who first said to William Hung - "You've got talent. Go audition for American Idol."

* Satan's biggest fear is that he'll have to spend eternity with Glenn Reynolds after he dies.

* Glenn Reynolds' glasses are the only thing keeping his laser vision from incinerating the universe.

* Glenn Reynolds once deflected a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick by thinking about linking to it.

* Glenn Reynolds murdered Socrates by telling him his cup of hemlock was actually a Starbucks Iced White Chocolate Macchiato

* Nuclear bombs fear Glenn Reynolds going off on them.

* There's more than one way to skin a cat, and they were all discovered by Glenn Reynolds.

* Glenn Reynolds is the leader of the terrorist group Hehmas.

* One drop of Glenn Reynolds' bath water contains enough residual evil to de-sanctify Vatican City.

* Puppy blood is the secret ingredient in Insta-Cola.

* When CNN interviews Glenn Reynolds, they have to put special filters on the camera lenses, lest TV viewers be turned to stone.

* As for the fate of the audience in the studio... now you know where garden gnomes come from.

* Glenn Reynolds' remote control only has one button. When he presses it, his TV automatically tunes to the evilest show available.

* Usually "Full House".

* Glenn Reynolds' printer is a Hewlett-Packed BloodJet model 900.

* Spelling "Glenn Reynolds" on a Scrabble board will summon the demon Atazoth who - legends say - will exact retribution on the Overworld by getting Hillary elected in '08.

* Google recently changed their motto to "Don't be Glenn Reynolds".

* Glenn Reynolds personally hand-stitched Janet Jackson's Superbowl outfit.

* The blind leading the blind isn't so bad... Glenn Reynolds likes leading them into traffic during rush hour.

* In Glenn Reynolds' DVD collection, "Schindler's List" is filed under "Comedy", right between "Saw 2" and "Scream".

* Glenn Reynolds taught Senator Palpatine how to do that fingertip-lightning thing.

* The Lemarchand Box in "Hellraiser" is a device used by Cenobites to summon Glenn Reynolds.

* Glenn Reynolds never thought about linking to Martha Stewart, but he DID send her an e-mail on December 26, 2001, that was completly blank except for the word "Sell".

* Glenn Reynolds introduced Bill to Monica.

* Good things come to those who wait - unless Glenn Reynolds steals them first.

* Glenn Reynolds never actually punched Frank J. - he got Frank J. to punch himself by thinking about linking to him.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life, and love should not be one of them.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[THE CURE FOR CANCER & DISEASE DOESN'T LYE IN ANIMALS. END CRUELTY. END VIVISECTION]

Signed, Algernon

President

Lab Rats for the Ethical Treatment of Lab Rats

MEANWHILE AT ALLIANCE HQ

Friday Linky Stuff

A Filthy Lie

Filthy Lie Round-up: Little Known Facts of Evil Glenn

New Filthy Lie Assignment: Why did Evil Glenn have so much fun hanging out with his grandmother?

BEST STAR WARS SHORT FAN FILM EVER

Ryan vs. Dorkman

Impeccable choreography, clean special effects. Lucas could learn something from these guys.

This would also be a good time to introduce KeepVid. A web page that allows you to download videos from sites that only offer streaming (like Google Video, YouTube, iFilm, and others).

User's note - be sure you've selected the right tab on the page before pasting in the video URL, otherwise it won't work.

SOMEONE WASN'T THINKING CLEARLY

Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite bought a green plastic bead necklace with a plastic shotglass attached to it as a St. Patty's Day novelty.

I got no problem with that.

The problem is with the tag that was on the necklace.

(click to enlarge)

Let's review here... we've got a shotglass for drinkin', and beads for getting chicks to lift their shirts, and when the little winking Irishman says "Get Lucky", I don't think he means in a "4 leaf clover" kinda way.

Nothing wrong so far, but if you'll notice in the top left corner, it says "Ages 3 and up".

So the combination of getting drunk, showing your boobs, and having regrettable bar-sex makes for an appropriate toy for a 4 year old?

Even for the Irish, that's just messed up...

IN HONOR OF ST. PATRICKS DAY

(Reposted from last year)

FUN FACTS ABOUT THE IRISH

Ireland has long been famous for the crabby temperament of its inhabitants, and used to be called Angerland, until St. Patrick realized that "ire" is a MUCH more sophisticated-sounding word.

The symbol of Ireland is the Shamrock. Which used to be called the "Samrock", but the new pronunciation quickly took over, since that's how a liquored-to-the-gills Irishman would pronounce it, anyway.

The Irish are clever and inventive people who are popularly credited with inventing several different types of bar soap, none of which they've been able to sell to France.

Which really sucks because France is upwind of Ireland.

The first Irishman in America, Paddy O'Tatertot, was also the man who built Notre Dame college and started it's legendary football program. This caused the mass immigration of the Irish to America in the late 1800's, as they all wanted to see this union of the two best aspects of their home country - devout religion and open-field brawling.

Another important symbol of Ireland is hardwood cudgel known as the "shillelagh". Which used to be called a "Sahlay", but changed for same reason as the Samrock.

Ireland is a land filled with verdent green grasslands. Plants grow well there because of the soil's incredibly high content of organic minerals, which come from the Irish peeing all over the place as they stagger from pub to pub.

The Irish choose their leader by having a drinking contest where the contenders match each other - drink for drink - until there's only one man left standing, who is then declared President.

The election of 1324 continues to this day.

Matty O'Blackfive is the current leader.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[One love to another Some day I'm going to marry you. I love you with everything I have. I would do anything just to see you smile.]

Someday Kevin WILL find his precious Denise.

[Link courtesy of IMAO's Cadet Happy]

Bush's New Advisors

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment cross-posted from IMAO)

[Caution - the second to last link in this post is rated NC17]

Hollywood asshats like George Clooney are full of bad advice when it comes to hunting down terrorists - usually it boils down to something like "Just ignore them and they'll go away... Unless they don't... in which case it's Bush's fault for not connecting the dots."

Now, I'm sure President Bush isn't actually listening to George Clooney, but he's getting bad advice from SOMEWHERE, because the terrorist body count is still under seven figures, there are no internment camps for either Muslims OR hippies, and Michael Moore has yet to be thrown into a crocodile pit.

As a courtesy to our Commander-in-Chief, I assembled a focus group to give advice on how to win the War on Terror. The executive summary follows:

Darth Vader - "Strangle annoying underlings to maintain discipline in the ranks. There's no reason why that jellyfish Colin Powell should've left the State Department alive."

Dick Cheney - "Aim for the face."

Donald Rumsfeld - "Hey! Vader stole my advice!"

Ann Coulter - "Invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity."

Gandalf - "More Hobbits"

Michael Jackson - "Give the terrorists a little Jesus Juice, and they'll be ripe for the picking."

Jeffrey Dahmer - "Beat 'em with a mallet for a while, otherwise they'll be too tough and stringy."

Laura Roslin - "Throw 'em out the airlock."

Harry Potter - "I'm a pansy. Let Hermione handle it."

C3P0 - "I suggest a new strategy. Let the Wookie win."

Barney the Dinosaur - "Lots of hugs!... and explosives!"

John Cleese - "Wait... are these terrorists armed with bananas or raspberries?"

Satan - "Just get the Arabs high-speed internet access. They'll be too busy Boobling for pr0n to kill anybody... By the way, has anyone seen my autographed copy of 'An Army of Davids'?"

FINGERS FOR FEINGOLD

Dear Russ,

You're a jackass.

I hate you.

Your fellow Senators hate you.

Even rabid squirrels hate you.

Censure this, you grandstanding prick.

[Hat tip to Blogless Brother of NoWhere News for the pic]

MEANWHILE AT ALLIANCE HQ

Filthy Lie Assignment Reminder: What are some previously unpublicized "facts" about Glenn Reynolds? due by 11pm EST Friday, March 17th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Presidential Advice

Wednesday Linky Stuff

Basil's Blog Tip: Verify Your Links

Basil's Blog Tip: Making Your WordPress Blog PDA Compatible

New Precision Guided Humor Assignment: What laws will the new Iraqi Parliament pass during their first 100 days?

A Filthy Lie

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Whenever we're apart it feels like part of me is missing... and then I remember, you have my heart.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[OOMPA LOOMPA SPEND ME WISELY AND HAVE FUN IN CALI!]

As a reward for all their hard work, Willy Wonka gave each Oopma Loompa $20 and sent them off to Disneyland.

Unfortunately, the INS mistook them for midget wrestlers and deported them all to Mexico.

I LOVE BEING ON THE CENTCOM MAILING LIST

Because it makes me aware of documents such as General John Abizaid's 2006 CENTCOM Posture Report.

Which is NOT about standing up straight, head up, shoulders back, chest out.

Although, metaphorically speaking, it is.

Here's the outline:

II. Mission

III. Nature of the Region

IV. Global Counterterrorism and the Long War
A. The Nature of the Enemy
B. Principles of Global Counterterrorism and the Long War
C. Strategic Presence

V. Iraq
A. Situation Overview
1. Coalition Forces
2. The Enemy
B. Strategic Focus
C. Transitions and Timing

VI. Afghanistan
A. Situation Overview
1. Coalition Forces
2. The Enemy
B. Strategic Focus
C. Much Accomplished, Much More to Do

VII. Horn of Africa and Yemen
A. Situation Overview
B. Strategic and Country Focus
C. Way Ahead: Internationalizing and Civilianizing

VIII. Theater Security Cooperation and Other Regional Partnerships
A. Pakistan
B. Kingdom of Saudi Arabia
C. Arabian Gulf States
D. Egypt
E. Jordan
F. Lebanon
G. Central Asian States

IX. Iran and Syria
A. Iran
B. Syria

X. Critical Mission Enablers
A. A Strong Coalition
B. Interagency Coordination
C. Intelligence
D. Logistics
E. Strategic Sealift and Intra-Theater and Inter-Theater Airlift
F. Communications
G. Personnel
H. Flexible Spending Authority
I. Strategic Communications

XI. Strategic Issues
A. Counter-IED and Force Protection
B. Contesting the Virtual World
C. Detainees

XII. Joint Warfighting

XIII. Conclusion

Of course, the General's sense of humor sneaks through from time to time, usually in the form of tactful understatements like: "Iranian-sponsored activities in Iraq continue to be unhelpful."

Anyway, if I had to pick a favorite part, it'd be the Mission Statement:

U.S. Central Command conducts operations to attack, disrupt and defeat terrorism, deter and defeat adversaries, deny access to WMD, assure regional access, strengthen regional stability, build the self-reliance of partner nations’ security forces, and protect the vital interests of the United States within the area of responsibility.

This, my friends, is what we're fighting for. And when I say "I support the troops", this is what I support.

God bless our troops, and God help anyone dumb enough to get in their way.

WIFELY REMINDERS

Bloggranddaughter ArmyWifeToddlerMom made mention of this in her meme answer:

~7)Least favorite thing about your significant other.
~he procrastinates, and is irritated with my "reminders".

9) Your significant other's least favorite thing about you
(again, without asking them).
~"reminding" him he has procrastinated.

Meanwhile, Bloggranddaughter Lee Ann of Lee Ann's View is getting called "mother" for passing out "reminders"

Which got me thinking... Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite does NOT nag.

She does, however, "remind".

And pretty much every time she does, I find myself getting irritated.

And I have no idea why.

It's not like she's hitting me with a rolling pin at the time, or speaking in some gawdawful Gladys Kravitz voice, so it shouldn't cause me any discomfort.

To my own credit, I don't snap back at her, and I reply with an acquiessive "Yes, dear", because I *know* my reaction is inappropriate and needs to be squelched. Yet I always rankle a little at queries about my to-do list, as if she were questioning my competence to function as an adult.

Which she's not, so it makes no sense for me to react as if she were.

I'm puzzled about this, and so I ask - is there a way for a wife to give "reminders" that ISN'T irritating, or is this just a permanent skirmish in the battle of the sexes?

HOW TO HAVE YOUR IDENTITY STOLEN

Simple.

If Chase sends you a credit card application, just tear it up and throw it away.

Because if someone tapes it back together and puts a new address on the form, Chase will let them activate it with a cell phone.

Or you can buy yourself a sub-$20 shredder, and mix the remains in with your wet kitchen garbage.

Your call.

[Hat tip: Musings from Brian J. Noggle]

BLOGGER'S UNHELPFUL AUTOMATIC LINK COMPLETION - UPDATED 3-16-06

Blogson Peter of Shakey Pete's Shootin' Shack has had a problem with his links for a while. Seems that sometimes his links would mysteriously include his blog URL at the front of the link, taking the reader to Blogger's "not found" page.

I've seen other people with this problem occasionally, too, and since I finally figured out the solution a little while ago, I thought I should probably share.

When you put a link in your Blogger post, you have to include the "http://" at the start.

If you just start with "www", Blogger "helpfully" fills in the first part with your blog's URL in the published post.

For example, "www.powderinc.com/" becomes "http://shakeypete.blogspot.com/www.powderinc.com/" when you click the link.

But if you use "http://www.powderinc.com/" it works fine.

So if you're you're on Blogger and you're hand-typing an URL (or copying the short version from somewhere else), make sure that you've got those "front 7" characters in your link before you hit post.

UPDATE 3-16-06: At Alliance HQ, Basil points out that it's not a bug, it's a feature - and that it's not just Blogger.

NOTE: [If you've found this post useful enough to blog about, send a trackback or e-mail the permalink to me at harvolson-at-gmail.com and I'll add you to my Bad Example Groupies blogroll. See this post for details]

DEMOCRAT MOTTOS

(cross-posted from IMAO)

Democrats.com sent Frank J. an e-mail wherein they unveiled their new motto:

"victory is possible!!"

Now THERE'S a rallying cry [insert dramatic eye-roll].

I wonder what mottos they rejected?

"it's only MOSTLY completely hopeless!!"

"don't quit your day job!!"

"why can't you be more like your brother Murray?!!"

"I've got a good feeling about this SuperLotto ticket!!"

"I wish I could quit you!!"

"my MOM says I'm cool!!"

JUST THINKING HERE

What if Gilligan

Were to do a reverse Michael Jackson and become black?

Do think you would end up with... Flavor Flav?

[Hat tip to Tiffany of Blown Fuse for inspiring this one]

THINGS TO PUT IN YOUR EAR

A picture tutorial for Sally of Whimsy Capricious's daughter:

Yes

No

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

If every word I said could make you smile, I'd talk forever.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[I'm in Saturday school at West Aurora High School in Aurora IL this bill was already looking rough when I got it. E-mail CLpurtiboi@yahoo.com let me know]

Now he's doing 20-to-life in Pelican Bay, and he wishes he weren't so "purti".

MUNU COMMENTS?

There seem to be some issues with MuNu comments at this time.

Please stand by...

Or just forego leaving your URL...

UPDATE - Looks like someone got a little careless adding to Blacklist. I think it's unblocked now

OH. CRAP.

Lynn of A Sweet Familiar Dissonance tagged me with this one, and I'm WAY out of my league.

I'll do my best, though:

Favorites or just the first that comes to mind:

Symphony - Beethoven's 9th - nothing like a little Ludwig Van...
************

Piano concerto -

Violin concerto -

Concerto for any wind instrument (flute, clarinet, oboe, horn, etc) -

Concerto for two or more soloists -

Overture or other short classical work (less than 12 minutes long) -

Piano sonata -

Other unaccompanied -

Sonata with accompaniment or other music for only two instruments -

Trio -

String quartet -

Other quartet -

Quintet -

Other chamber music -

Latin choral work (mass, requiem, Stabat Mater, etc.) -

Choral work in a language other than Latin -

Classical work composed after 1950 (other than movie music; I'll get to that) -

Classical work composed before 1650 -

***********
Here's the deal... I went through a classical music phase in my early 30's when I lived 3 blocks from a public library, and sampled a fair variety of stuff. Truth is, Beethoven & Mozart were about the only things I found of interest, although I liked Handel's Water Music and Vivaldi's Four Seasons well enough. Bach... what I heard seemed a bit simplistic and didn't really keep my attention.

I understand the attraction of classical music, but I simply don't have a way of finding what I like, since Pandora doesn't seem to carry it.
***********

Opera - The Who: "Quadrophenia"

Movie Score - Batman (Danny Elfman is a freakin' genius).

TV theme - Firefly

Song (rock, blues, country or other) - Rush: "Red Barchetta" (try driving slow to THAT one)

Guitar or lute, classical - Mason Williams: "Classical Gas"

Guitar (rock, blues, country or other) - Joe Satriani: "Friends"

Goofy novelty song - Bob Ricci: "She Freakin' Blocked Me" - love the video, too.

Bonus: anything you'd like to add that wasn't on the list - Pretty much anything by Weird Al.

Unless I've got any readers who are closet classical music fans?

I DON'T USUALLY VOLUNTEER FOR THESE SORTS OF THINGS, BUT THIS SOUNDED INTRIGUING

Found this from Lynn of A Sweet Familiar Dissonance:

1. Choose a search engine (e.g. Google), click "Images".
2. Pick 5 random blogfriends.
3. Think of a word or phrase that you feel describes each friend.
4. Do an image search of that word or phrase.
5. Pick an image that makes you say, "Aha! That's it!"

My choosing you as a random blogfriend also means you're tagged However, taggees should feel free to choose THEIR taggees however they want. You can also choose fewer than 5 blogfriends if you're sick of searching through images.

As you can tell from my results, I tend to think of people by their blog names, although I freely admit that laziness was also a factor in my selection of terms.

[Searched: "bohdran"]

[Searched: "frizzen"]

[Searched: "miasmatic"]

[Searched: "shrek"]

[Searched: "effervescent"]

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[SEX FOR THE PRESIDENT, TAX FOR THE PISSANT]

Yet another rejected slogan for Clinton's '96 campaign.

ZOMBIE BLOGGER RETURNS FROM DEAD

Bloggrandson Neon Angel of Lyrical Coma has finally posted again after a 9-month hiatus, and explains what happened to him.

Basically 600+ words that boil down to "the dog ate my homework", but it's a start.

Meanwhile, does anyone know of a good World of Warcraft 12-step program?

ED HOCHULI ISN'T BUYING IT

Blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice said:

I don’t look ANYTHING like those raven haired exotic women they had on the dance floor.

PHWEEEEEEEET!

OO! Looks like we've got a flag on this one

This might be a 15-yarder for flagrant bullshitting...

The referee's are talking it over, and you know it's never a good sign when they go into conference like that...

...well, it looks like they're going to review this one...

...

Don't these guys EVER stick to the 90 second limit?

...

Ah! Here he comes...

"After review, we find that Bou is TOTALLY HOT, and the penalty will be enforced from the spot of the foul"

Sorry, Bou, looks like you have to get up & dance now

TAKING HIS ONE MAN SHOW ON THE ROAD

Blogson That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom - normally found on a barstool in Illinois - is taking his band (namely himself and his car) on a whirlwind trip to such exotic foreign countries as Arkansas, Georgia, Florida, and Tennessee.

Figured this epic journey needs a little commemorative symbology:

(click to enlarge)

MEANWHILE AT ALLIANCE HQ

Precision Guided Humor Assignment reminder: Who could give President Bush good advice on fighting terrorists, and what would they tell him to do? due by 11:59pm EDT Wednesday, March 15th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Monday Linky Stuff

Filthy Lie Round-up: Evil Glenn's PR

New Filthy Lie Assignment: What are some previously unpublicized "facts" about Glenn Reynolds?

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

We turned on one another with deep, drowned gazes, and exchanged a kiss that reduced my bones to rubber and my brain to gruel.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Washington smoking)]

Useful for paying the fine if you get a ticket for smoking in a Madison bar.

Glenn Reynolds PR Flack on CNN

(A Filthy Lie cross-posted from IMAO)

In an apparent effort to clean up his image, Glenn Reynolds hired a Public Relations agent to try to spin his image so he doesn't look quite so much like the blackhearted dominar of the blogosphere that we all know him to be. Here's a transcript of the CNN "On The Story" interview with info-hottie Abbi Tatton:

TWIST: Pleasure to be here with you today, since I really dig chicks with big hair. Anyone ever tell you that you look a little like Monica Lewinsky?

ABBI: [giggles] Flatterer!... but seriously, what's up with that puppy blending thing?

TWIST: A rumor wrapped in a falsehood inside a distortion. While Mr. Reynolds DOES frequently put puppies in blenders and grind them into a bloody pulp, it has nothing to do with the supposed "consuming their cuteness for energy" that's usually ascribed to it. He only does it to prevent the spread of Bird Flu. This dangerous disease threatens all of humanity and recently jumped from birds to weasels. Reynolds discovered that it's now affecting dogs:

and he's just trying to save the world from disease-ridden mutants, sort of like when Darth Vader blended the Jedi Younglings in Star Wars Episode III in an attempt to save the Old Republic.

ABBI: I see... what about the Robot Dancing?

TWIST: Glenn Reynolds believes in celebrating multicultural diversity, and as part of his Black History Month festivities, he showcased several dance styles - like the Robot Dance - made popular by great African-American entertainers like MC Hammer, Michael Jackson, Vanilla Ice, and Donny Osmond. It's his way of fighting back against racism.

ABBI: But doesn't he usually do his Robot Dancing while praising communists?

TWIST: You know, Abbi, great African-American leaders such as Dr. Martin Luther King were also frequently smeared as communists by the racist right-wing media, and I'm disappointed by your crass perpetuation of this bigoted myth. Thank God for the pioneering work of Mr. Reynolds. With his help, the healing can finally begin.

ABBI: What about the Satan-worshipping?

TWIST: Another attempt at prejudicial fear-mongering. His religious services are frequently described as "Black masses in service of the Prince of Darkness", but surely you can see that "black" and "darkness" are just racist code-words used by the white Republican power structure to promote negative stereotypes against our melanin-enhanced brethren.

ABBI: So you're saying President Bush is a skinhead Neo-Nazi because he worships God?... Well, I guess that explains why he blew up the levees in New Orleans... What about Glenn's habitual punching of Frank J.? Is that a symbolic blow against the white Republican power structure?

TWIST: No, it's just fun to make Frank J. cry like a girl.

ABBI: I see... Well, that's all the time we have today. Join us next week here at "On The Story" when superstar blogger Michelle Malkin will be sharing her recipe for minced kitten brownies.

COULDN'T RESIST THIS ONE

Your Stripper Song Is

Master and Servant by Depeche Mode "There’s a new game We like to play you see A game with added reality You treat me like a dog Get me down on my knees" Yawn, dancing is so boring without a little spice.

[Via Leslie's Omnibus]

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

If the world ended today, I would be at peace, for I have loved you.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

... in a secret underground facility in Tennessee.

[Hat tip: blogson Madfish Willie for the link]

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

You Are 82% Evil

You're the most evil person you know. The devil is even a little scared of you!

And that was without counting Evil Glenn as a nemesis.

[Seen many places, taken because I wanted to see if I was eviler than blogson _Jon of We Swear]

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Do I love her?
More with every breath I take.
Every word she speaks, every deed, every word she writes.
I love her more.
Never have I had this feeling before.
I adore her!

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(badly scratched penny)]

Symbolic representation of President Bush's political credibility after the Dubai port deal backlash.

Looks Like We Lost the War on Terror

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment cross-posted from IMAO)

First, the Mainstream Media caves in by being too cowardly to print the Muhammed cartoons.

Could the fast food industry be next?

I suppose having Whoppers made out of camel meat would be an improvement, though...

ARTICLE WRITER SORELY LACKS IMAGINATION

Lynn of A Sweet, Familiar Dissonance pointed to the Forbes list of 10 Things That Will Change the Way We Live. I found this article on "Haptics" intriguing:

For instance, by using a sensor-equipped glove and a force-reflecting exoskeleton, you could literally feel the shape, texture and weight of an onscreen 3-D object. Such devices are used now for virtual modeling, medicine and the military, but as costs decrease, haptic interfaces could become valuable communication tools. Using haptics technology, people will be able to shake hands virtually over the Internet, and doctors will have the ability to remotely diagnose and operate on patients.[emphasis added]

So... you'll be able to remotely and anonymously touch a stranger, and he thinks it'll be to shake HANDS?

I'm thinking more along the lines of "world's oldest profession" meets "world's newest technology".

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be and I don't want to go home right now.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Hand-colored dollar bill)]

When asked why this design was turned down in favor of the more subdued color schemes that were finally approved, Treasury Secretary John Snow was quoted as saying, "Look, I'm just not secure enough in my manhood to have American currency looking THAT g... uh, festive."

AH, THE IRONY

Mike Rosen's opinion piece in the Rocky Mountain News (found via Wizbang) chastised the 10th grade geography teacher who compared Bush to Hitler.

Then promptly compared the teacher to a string of murderous commie dictators:

He asks rhetorical questions and answers them himself with simplistic, left-wing sloganeering. "Capitalism is a violation of human rights," he declares as incontrovertible fact. Really? According to whom, Karl Marx? Josef Stalin? Kim Jong Il?

I found his attempt to refute stupidity with ad hominem amusing, considering that the point of his article is that it's wrong to use ad hominem during an argument..

But instead of just sitting here laughing at him, I'll suggest a rewrite:

"Capitalism is a violation of human rights," he declares as incontrovertible fact. Really? How does a system which allows participants to freely trade goods and services at market prices violate a person's right to life, liberty, property, or happiness?

You owe me one, Mike.

A GIFT FOR CARMEN OF I'LL DO WHAT I WANNA DO... GOSH!

Here's that black leather posterior she wants for her birthday next week.

At least I think that's what she asked for. I kinda skimmed that post.

A GIFT FOR ARMYWIFETODDLERMOM

If She Were Emma Peel...

She'd be able to do cardio now.

THE BIBLE'S NOT *ALL* BAD

There are some interesting sections in Corinthians, which someone with WAY too much time on their hands has illustrated with... Legos.

Click the arrow in the upper right to page through the series.

(Some images NC17)

[Hat tip: Susie of Practical Penumbra]

IT'S A FRY!

Phin of Phin's Blog (and Alliance Blogging Tips Guru) had a baby boy.

I'm pretty sure that's a "fry", although it might be a minnow.

Either way, congratulations.

If you visit, leave your sharks at home.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

When I saw you I fell in love.
And you smiled because you knew.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Washington smoking a bong)]

Judging by the plumes of smoke, I'm guessing Clinton wasn't the only President who "didn't inhale".

KEEPING AN OPEN MIND

I don't do "link exchanges". I blog because I like reading other blogs, and I'm not obsessed with traffic.

Not that I'll turn it down, mind you, it's just that I've risen to my Peter-Principle-approved level of incompetence in the blogosphere, and I'm fairly content to rest on my laurels.

So when I got an e-mail asking me to exchange a link with the NY Hotties blog, I was dubious, at best. My first assumption being "Yay. Another porn site trolling for traffic. Where's that delete button?"

But... the first part of the e-mail intrigued me "I was browsing through blogs when I came across Bad Example, and I think it's fabulous! I love your love notes. Your wife is a very lucky woman."

Whether Alexa was sincere, or even if it WAS spam, at least she obviously took the time to read my site before contacting me. The e-mail wasn't generic. So I figured the least I could do was return the favor with a visit.

Not the best first impression. The site had loading issues, and the headers & sidebar have an air of "corporate soft core" about them. Nevertheless, I browsed the front page. Hard to get a good feel for the site that way, because she makes the mistake of using extended entries for text, which I'm against. Especially when the extensions open in a new page on a site that has issues with slow load times.

Still... I checked the archives - she's been doing this for over a year & a half. A good indicator that the e-mail wasn't just about getting traffic.

Anyway, I browsed the first few months. Turns out that - while there's plenty of the purely prurient - there's also a good mix of personal observations & commentary. It's not just about the smut.

What really intrigued me as I read, though, was that she has a full command of the English language. She's smart. She can write. Her vocabulary, spelling & grammar are high end.

But there are two posts that convinced me that this site is actually worthwhile. First, although she's not fond of Bush or Republicans, she's not a raving loon about the topic, and is willing to believe her own eyes rather than what she's told. She discussed the CBS Memo Fiasco as follows:

Although it sucks that the memos are fake, the amazing thing is that the blogging community completely outdid the media establishment on this one. Apparently, bloggers proved within a day that the memos are fake. I’m so proud of my fellow bloggers. :)

Check out this post on Little Green Footballs. The author compares the "original" memo to a version that he typed on Microsoft Word. The similarities are striking. In fact, the memos are identical.

These memos are going to be a complete disaster for the Kerry campaign.

Interestingly, the comments on the post were generally civil, sane, well-written, and on-topic. Apparently her audience is fairly high-end, too.

But enough about politics. Recently she made an intriguing observation on the Olympics, on the difference between the way the Canadian media treated a bronze medal winner and the way the US Media treated a silver:

And I remember watching a whole news story about an athlete from Canada that had won one of the events.

By 'won' I mean he got a bronze.

You wouldn’t ever have guessed that from the story though. It was reverential, awed, and respectful. The guy, at least in the producers' eye, was a hero.

[snip]

I tell you all of this because I’ve been thinking about Sasha Cohen. Who won a silver medal in Women’s Figure Skating on Thursday.

Oh. You may not know that. You may only know that she fell. And fell again. The media likes to show it over and over and again.

Message? Sasha Cohen’s a loser. She’s soft. She [f***ed] up.

How very un-American of her.

Forget that Sasha was the most beautiful, most glorious skater/ballerina to take the ice in a long time. Forget that she fell, got up, and pulled herself together completely, enough to earn a place on the podium. Isn’t that a perfect ending in itself—at least one to a commercial movie?

Over and over I watched American commentators approach our loser athletes who won silvers and bronzes and ask them minutes after their race, "WHAT WENT WRONG."

So... I'll give her a spot on the 'roll, because the writing is good.

Which is NOT the same as a link exchange.

Which I still don't do.

So don't even ask.

MEANWHILE AT ALLIANCE HQ

Filthy Lie Assignment Reminder: How will Evil Glenn's PR firm put a positive spin on his infamous misdeeds? due by 11pm EST Friday, March 10th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Wednesday Linky Stuff

Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Appeasing Terrorists

New Precision Guided Humor Assignment: Who could give President Bush good advice on fighting terrorists, and what would they tell him to do?

Basil's Blog Tip: Alternatives To Blogger Part 4: LiveJournal

A Filthy Lie

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

I love you because I am sensitive to touch and you have touched my heart.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(purple stains)]

Color check - The stains on this dollar bill are orange. If they appear as any other color, your computer has a dangerous virus which can only be fixed by entering your name, date of birth, and Social Security Number into this post's comments.

Argument Clinic - 2006

( Cross posted from IMAO. News article link via Beth of Yeah, Right, Whatever)

81-year-old Myron Manders was listed by the Social Security Administration as being dead.

His showing up the SSA office to correct the error was insufficient to prove to them otherwise.

A transcript of the discussion - as captured by SSA security tapes of the incident - follows in the extended entry (with apologies to Monty Python)...

WHY I HATE THE MSM

Because they take this magical, breathtaking photo:

(click to enlarge)

Which fills you with wonder and makes you think of princesses & fairy tales.

And use it as a lead in to:

The "fairy tale" castle Neuschwanstein is seen in the snow covered landscape in Schwangau, Bavaria. Heavy snow and high winds lashed Europe over the weekend, causing the deaths of at least 17 people in weather-related accidents and avalanches in Germany, France, Italy and Switzerland.

Sneer quotes and a death fixation.

Thanks for the ray of sunshine, guys. I'll send you my therapy bills.

TIME TO BICKER & ARGUE

Bloggranddaughter Rave of Quid Nunc has ranked the Hope/Crosby "Road" movies in order of quality.

Feel free to go visit and tell her how desperately wrong she is.

Meanwhile, I'm gonna go hunt up a copy of "Road to Morocco"...

CRAP. MEMED AGAIN

Blogson Blue Tige must die for this.

Or maybe I just won't let him borrow the car for a while. Whichever.

2) Two least favorite colors.
Red 255
Yellow 255
They make my eyes bleed whenever I see them on someone's site

3) Favorite fast food restaurant.
McDonald's - because I can go to any country on the planet and get the same burger I can get down the street.

4) Favorite day of the week.
Tuesday - House is on.

5) Least favorite day of the week.
Thursday - Survivor is on.

6) Best thing about your significant other.
Large or small, I can trust her to keep promises.

7) Least favorite thing about your significant other.
Those freakishly cold feet which she insists on warming by pressing against me.

8) Your significant other's favorite thing about you (without asking them).
I can always make her laugh, even when she's in a bad mood.

9) Your significant other's least favorite thing about you (again, without asking them).
That I swear like a sailor.

10) Black or white?
Black - white's too hard to keep clean.

11) Red or blue?
Blue - see question 1

12) Day or night?
Day - I like to be able to see what I'm doing when I'm outside.

13) Favorite part of your body.
Beard - It's been my best friend for 15 years, and the cats love to rub against it.

14) Least favorite part about your body.
My scalp. It's a war of attrition, and the Rogaine is losing.

15) Do you like walking in the rain at times?
Yes, but it's rarely hot enough in Wisconsin for the rain to feel good. Usually it just makes me cold & wet.

16) Do you have a tattoo?
Nope. Mostly because I've never been both very drunk and near a tattoo parlor at the same time.

17) “Short and sweet� or “long and hard�.
Short and sweet - unlike this meme

18) Favorite kind of car.
Corvette - '68 to '82, any color.

19) Favorite kind of ice cream.
Haagen Dazs Chocolate chocolate chip.

20) Trix or Lucky Charms.
Trix - Lucky Charms is abominable as a snack straight out of the box.

Next victims:

ArmyWifeToddlerMom, who is celebrating her blogiversary today and recently complained that I don't link her enough.

Blogless Brother of NoWhere News - who needs to get his meme-cherry broken.

Alex in Wonderland - to celebrate the fact that he FINALLY added some color to his blog.

GUESSING GAME

Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks (author of the Retrosexual Code) is having a hard time thinking of anything he cares less about than the Oscars.

I'll offer my guesses:

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

The sweetest of all sounds is that of the voice of the woman I love.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(dime with a hole in it)]

A) Bored kid with a drill.

B) Some kind of weird Jihadist retaliation for the Muhammed cartoons.

C) Early prototype for the 2006 Olympic medals.

Peace in Afghanistan

(cross-posted from IMAO)

(click to enlarge)

Brought to you by:

Old Navy brand bottled water.

[Hat tip to (and the real story behind the photo at) CENTCOM]

No-So-Great Moments in Cross-Cultural Communication

(cross-posted from IMAO)

Sometimes outreach works, sometimes it doesn't.

Look, it's really simple - the music stops, and everyone tries to sit down. I don't know why you guys aren't getting the hang of this...

[Hat tip to (and the real story behind the photo at) CENTCOM]

SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE

Princess Cat of A Swift Kick & A Band-Aid wants to hit 25,000 visitors by her blogiversary next month. So I gave her a link to post (originally given to me by the Bartender) that'll give people a reason to visit her site.

Ladies... ever dream about the perfect man? Rugged, handsome, masculine, yet still sensitive, caring, and attentive with soulful eyes and a great ass?

Well, I'm married, but you can visit Cat and find the next best thing.

Guys... drink alert. Seriously, I have NO idea how this guy managed to keep a straight face while delivering those lines. *I* busted up just watching him.

Anyway, when you pass the link along to your friends (and you will), please pass Cat's link instead of the direct one. Let's get her that 25,000.

As an added incentive, if she reaches 25,000 by her blogiversary (April 3rd), I'll donate $20 to one of her favorite charities, Project Valour-IT

MEANWHILE AT ALLIANCE HQ

Precision Guided Humor Assignment reminder: Having already surrendered the right to print cartoons in a free press, what further concessions will terrorist appeasers make next? due by 11:59pm EDT Wednesday, March 8th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Monday Linky Stuff

Filthy Lie Round-up: Evil Glenn's Stuff

New Filthy Lie assignment: How will Evil Glenn's PR firm put a positive spin on his infamous misdeeds?

I'VE STILL GOT IT

Jim of Parkway Rest Stop casually referenced origami in this post, and - as it happens - I used to dabble quite heavily in the ancient Japanese art of paper-folding as a lad. I've forgotten most of the items, but given a set of instructions, I can still muddle through.

The one thing I *can* still do from memory is a "flapping bird" (a variation on the traditional Japanese crane). It's fairly simple and it actually MOVES, so people are always impressed.

So the other night I was out at a Chinese restaurant with Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite, and at the counter they had a box full of tiny paper cranes, which they were selling for a nickel a piece. I scoffed to the Mrs. that I wasn't buying one because I could make my OWN tiny little birds.

She scoffed right back that I couldn't make one THAT tiny because my fingers were too big.

I got the last scoff:

(click to enlarge)

Yes, that's one of my "too big" index-fingertips included for comparison.

And yes, this tiny bugger DOES have flappable wings.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

You know what real love is when just thinking of your lover - maybe something they did before, or just the thought - gives you chills all over your body.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Red spot over letter "L")]

"X" used to mark the spot, but with Rome experiencing a 500% inflation rate, things have changed.

I NEED THE SNOOZE POINTS

Is this a quiz? A meme? The psychotic ramblings of a dangerous man?

Don't know, don't care. My method of tackling this will be to add another choice to the answers offered.

I'm putting this in the extended entry because it's got language that'll make old ladies faint...

Glenn Reynolds - What's He Hiding?

(A Filthy Lie cross-posted from IMAO)

When Instapundit covered the "Ricin in Texas" story, he was amazingly quick to dismiss it as nothing.

Which makes wonder how he knows so much about illicit items such as this that he could confirm or deny its legitimacy from a thousand miles away. Isn't that more knowledge than a simple country lawyer should have?

Made me wonder what he's been up to, so I tossed his house while he was out pimping his book, and although I didn't find any chemical or biological weapons, I *did* find the following suspicious items:

* An original vintage 1960's Easy Bake Meth Lab.

* A copy of John Wayne Gacy's "Clowing For Dummies".

* A Samurai sword forged in 593 B.C., with the metal in the blade folded over 200 times.

* A first edition of "To Serve Man", in the original Kanamit.

* The shrunken head of Steven Den Beste.

* Twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was.

* Michele Malkin's minced kitten brownie recipe.

* A "Tickle Me Osama" doll.

* A small vial of something which I did not smell, and therefore assume to be Iocane powder.

All I have to do now is figure out what he plans to do with all this stuff...

I CAN RETIRE NOW

'Cuz Reynolds finally linked to one of my Filthy Lies over at IMAO.

Only took about 30 months and 120 or so tries.

[Hat tip to blogson _Jon of We Swear for reading the Puppy Blender so that I don't have to]

RIGHT WING DUCK FOR MUNU

One of my IMAO co-bloggers (not Frank J., one of the nice ones) is looking for a home at MuNu.

MuNu members can go here and leave a YAY! in the comments.

I can't point you to his site because, well, his domain seems to be for rent, but I can tell you what I said about Tony of Right Wing Duck in August of 2004:

It's like watching Tiger Woods play golf in high school, or seeing a young Brett Favre tossing the pigskin around in a game of sandlot football. This guy's going to be HUGE eventually. He posts nothing but A-list comedy at his site, every day. Sure, he's got his hits & misses, but he's also got originality and regularity going for him. It would behoove you to catch his act now while he's still young and hungry, before he gets all famous & fat-headed, then turns to hookers & heroin and winds up dying on the toilet like Elvis.

and point you to Feb of 2005, as archived by the Wayback Machine, so you can see what I'm talking about.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[62]

You Are Samarium

Rarely seen alone, the shiny, silver lustre of your personality can be brought out using an electrolytic solution of lithium citrate and a mercury electrode, or any social gathering. Although generally cool-headed, you can ignite at temperatures as low as 150°C when exposed to air. Your best compatibility match: monazite and bastnasite Stay away from: 15M HNO3

WHAT'S YOUR CITY FAMOUS FOR?

WHAT'S YOUR CITY FAMOUS FOR?

Blogson Jeff of Ponytailed Conservative "brags" that his town - Lynchburg, Virginia - is known for Jerry Falwell & enemas.

Fort Atkinson, WI - where I was born - has "The Fireside" playhouse/restaurant, which I understand is a popular destination for busloads of retirees.

I shouldn't make fun. I've been there. The food is good, and you'll probably never find a better venue for "theater in the round" (the stage is in the middle of the seating area).

It's also the home of "Hoard's Dairyman" magazine, which you might recognize if you've ever lived on a dairy farm.

Then there's Jones Dairy Farm. You've probably eaten the sausage.

So... what's YOUR town known for?

WORK WANTED

Not for me, for blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World:

So - here's what I need from y'all. Any of you that deal with consumer products, retail execution, etc. If you know of anyone that might possibly have any openings in the Rockford/Milwaukee/West Suburbs of Chicago let me know. It's two hours all around and that is a managable territory.

I'm still unemployed, so I got nuthin'.

Anyone else, shout "ME! ME! I can help!" in Tammi's comments.

"WE WERE DANGEROUS BECAUSE WE WERE OBEYING THE LAW"

What would happen if people actually obeyed the 55 speed limit?

A 5-minute documentary shows that it'd be a miracle if no one died.

I'm with blogson GA Mongrel on this one - Georgia: raise your speed limit.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Each moment away from you weighs upon my heart - it burdens my soul.

The first moment together lifts all my heaviness and eases all my loads.

[hat tip to _Jon of We Swear for creating this one]

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[BAR]

"No, I wasn't out with another woman last night, and I can prove it. See? This bill doesn't say "that filthy whore's apartment", now does it?"

SAME BLOGGRANDSON, NEW LOCATION - A RE-BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT

The Blogger Formerly Known As The Babaganoosh (blogson of my blogdaughter Oddybobo of Bobo Blogger) has moved his archives over to a fresh & shiny WordPress.com blog, complete with his Blogspot archives.

For now, he shall be known as Chris McCray's Tutor of An Unfortunate Intrusion of Reality. For the sake of brevity, I may take to calling him "MC Tutor", since it has that edgy, hip-hop sound to it.

Anyway, I'll be updating the Bad Example Family blogroll accordingly. Those of you with hardcoded blogrolls are encouraged to do similarly.

A technical note - I've noticed that sometimes when I go there using Firefox, the white center column background doesn't load, and the page-wide gray background makes the text almost painfully unreadable. If this happens to you, just hit refresh, and the white background will load.

Apparently he's living in Maryland now (and may have been for a long time, for all *I* know) and has kindly pointed out some Fun Facts about Maryland that I overlooked in my listing, including:

*Old Bay Seasoning is a blend of herbs and spices very popular in the state of Maryland. It is commonly used to season crab, shrimp, and fries. Asking where to find Young Bay is Maryland’s only capital offense.

*It’s actually pronounced Murlin. I still haven’t got the hang of that one.

*Prince George’s County is the richest black-majority county in America. This is ironic, since it borders Washington DC and we all know how much George Bush hates black people.

*The town is not named after Chevy Chase. Chevy Chase named himself after the town.

Welcome back to the family, MC.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

As perfume doth remain
In the folds where it hath lain,
So the thought of you, remaining
Deeply folded in my brain,
Will not leave me.
All things leave me.
You remain.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Tom, Have Great Time, Mel BE SAFE!!]

And Tom - obviously not for the first time - chose "option A".

GUYS, I NEED A LITTLE HELP WITH THIS ONE

Bloggranddaughter Rave of Quic Nunc asks this question:

[My 15-year old son] has decided that it's fun to sneak out of the house at midnight.....

[snip]

Now, he did not have glassy eyes or smell of weed, which is good. But it doesn't clear him, by any means.

[snip]

WHY does he do this? I am not a 15 yr old male. I don't know what's going through his head.

Short answer - because it's fun.

As a former 15 yr old male, I confess that I occasionally snuck out after midnight. Sometimes not even for criminal purposes.

If I remember correctly, it had to do with the solitude. I knew the whole world was asleep, and no one was going to see me walking around. I lived in a small town that rolled up the sidewalks at 9pm, so this might not be applicable to Rave's case.

Traipsing about in the wee hours, there's nothing but you, your thoughts, and a sky filled with stars. No people, no distractions. It was a good time to contemplate who I was and what was going on in my life without worrying about being interrupted by an inquisitive parent.

Plus the added thrill of doing something forbidden.

As for what to do about it... I have no advice. I think it's just one of those "straining against the leash" phases. All I can say is that if you don't hold the line on this, he'll just find another boundary to test. Make a fuss about it to his face, but inwardly, be relieved that it's just a growing pain.

If any other former 15 yr old males have more insight, please share.

JUST A COINCIDENCE, I'M SURE

Perusing blogdaughter Boudicca's place, I noticed the titles of two consecutive posts:

Enjoy Your Panties!

and

Thinking Out of the Box

Am I the only one who sees a connection here?

Secret Weapon for the War on Terror

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment cross-posted from IMAO)

According to this story, a slain soldier's widow successfully sued a guy who was giving money to Al Qaeda, which means that - thanks to one of the few lawyers not shot by Dick Cheney - the War on Terror is $102 million dollars closer to being over.

It occurs to me there's another underutilized American resource that could be put to work fighting Islamofascism - Pakistani cab drivers!

Picture this:

PCD: I cannot please to be speaking your English! I get you hotel? Airport? Cocaine? Hookers? Durka! Durka!

TERRORIST: Jihad! Jihad!

PCD: Look Mohammed, I only talk that way to screw with the Yuppies. I don't actually speak your wacky Arab monkey-jabber durka-durka crap! Either take the broads & coke or get the hell out of my cab!

TERRORIST: Fine! I'll get someone else to take me! [gets out, slams door]

PCD: The only place you're going is between the treads of my Goodyear All-Season radials, you terrorist bastard! [sound of squealing tires]

TERRORIST: AIEEEEEE! *squish!*

PCD: USA! USA! USA!

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Chosen by your heart, living your every breath, and joining with your soul - that was my only wish.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Nick & Hailey Nick & Hailey Nick & Hailey Nick & Hailey]

Nick steps boldly across the fine line between infatuation and stalking.

MEANWHILE AT ALLIANCE HQ

Filthy Lie Assignment reminder: What suspicious items would a search of Evil Glenn's house turn up? due by 11pm EST Friday, March 3rd. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Wednesday Linky Stuff

Basil's Blog tip: Speeding up your blog - If your blog loads slowly because you have too much crap in the sidebars, this might be your best solution.

Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Underutilized Weapons

New Precision Guided Humor Assignment: Having already surrendered the right to print cartoons in a free press, what further concessions will terrorist appeasers make next?

CHECK YOUR LOCAL GAS PRICES

Who's got the cheapest gas in town?

Click here, enter your zip code, and find out.

[Hat tip: Leslie's Omnibus]

I'M A BAD MAN

Because March 1st was "National Pig Day", and I forgot to send Pig Day Cards to all my terrorist friends.

UPCOMING INTERVIEWS

Questions are now being accepted for blogson Contagion of Miasmatic Review's interview at Basil's Blog.

Just because HE'S shy doesn't mean YOU have to be. Ask him ANYTHING.

Also on the block is Blake of The Laughing Wolf.

Someone needs to ask him if he's REALLY a wolf or if that monthly getting-furry-and-howling-at-the-moon thing is just a hobby.

Click here to submit a question for Contagion.

Click here to submit a question for Blake.

Click here to see the full list of upcoming interviews.

Click here to see pretty women in skimpy bikinis.

UNDERUTILIZED RESOURCES IN THE WAR ON TERROR

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)

What are lawyers good for besides quail decoys?

Successfully suing terrorists for their bomb-money.

So if a LAWYER can be a force for good, I wonder what else we could put to work in fighting the War on Terror?

Collection Agencies - I underpaid my VISA bil by 37 cents once, and they broke my kneecaps. What chance do terrorists have?

Worried about port security? Just play William Hung tunes over the loudspeakers. Scientific studies show that his tuneless screechings inevitably cause premature detonation in bomb belts. "She Bangs" = *KER-BANG!*

Hollywood celebrities - as human shields around high-risk targets. If it doesn't work, who cares? Plenty more Baldwins where that came from.

Delete the terrorist program and reboot The Matrix - "Whoa!..."

Reprogram that weather control machine Bush used to destroy New Orleans. Everyone knows terrorists melt when you douse them with water, as shown in the documentary, "The Terrorist of Oz".

And if all else fails, we can pass a new law requiring that flight schools only teach Arab students from JFK Jr's textbook, "Flying For Dummies".

SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

O happy hours when I may once more encircle within these arms the dearest object of my love - when I shall again feel the pressure of that "aching head" which will delight to recline upon my bosom, when I may again press to my heart which palpitates with the purest affection that loved one who has so long shared its undivided devotion.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[("Together for ever" October 6, 2000)]

Spent on a bag of Doritos: October 7, 2000.

"MUST SEE" BLACK & WHITE MOVIES

Bloggranddaughter Carmen of I'll Do What I Wanna Do... Gosh! said this while answering her meme:

Well, I haven't really seen any black and whites - the few I have seen are all those corny old monster movies; which I don't enjoy.

Making me wonder... what ARE the "good" black & white movies?

Of the ones I've seen, a few stick out in my memory:

The General - Not only black & white, but silent, too. Buster Keaton does his own stunts - some of which are VERY impressive - and the story moves right along. If all silent movies were this good, talkies never would've taken off.

It Happened One Night - Yeah, it's terribly dated, but I like it for the snappy dialogue. They don't let actors talk that fast any more.

The Fountainhead - YAY! Capitalist propaganda! Favorite line? Probably:

Ellsworth Toohey: We're alone. Why don't you tell me what you think of me.
Howard Roark: But I don't think of you.

Cyrano de Bergerac (1950, w/Jose Ferrar) - Like an early version of The Princess Bride without the abject silliness. Sparkling dialogue, humor, romance, and swordplay.

Casablanca - Not because it's particularly good - it's cheesy, contrived, and drags a bit in places - but because it's one of those pop-culture references that's frequently alluded to. Just watch it once so that you REALLY get it when someone says "I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!"

I've also heard that the Hope/Crosby "Road" movies are good, but I can't seem to find them at the local video store.

Anyway, add your favorites in the comments, or just post them at your own place & send a trackback. Links to the relevant IMDB page would be helpful, too.