NOW *THIS* IS CAT BLOGGING

Not here...

There.

Somewhere around 1000 pictures. This ain't your daddy's "cat with a lime-rind football helmet" page (although that one's in there, too).

I found most of the captions highly amusing. Somehow, L33t speak just seems right for cats.

Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go see why my computer's been acting up lately.

[via Lynn of A Sweet, Familiar Dissonance]

By the way, if you see that bastard whose been stealing my internets, let me know.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at!

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp - {picture of eagle} WHERESGEORGE.COM)]

After being rebuffed by their first choice of Kentucky Fried Chicken, Alfred Hitchcock Productions settled for teaming up with the popular currency-tracking website to promote the re-release of their 1963 hit movie.

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) Who wrote the book, "The Truth About Whacking Day"?

3) (T/F) Homer's quote in his senior-year high school year book was, "That's-a spicy meat-a ball"

4) Who was Marge and Homer's high school principal?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

[new note - not previously posted]

Every moment spent with you is every one of my dreams coming true.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Doritos]

At least Dan Quayle spelled this one right.

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) Who is the son of carny Cooter?

3) What is the name of Snake's car?

4) How do you spell Apu's last name?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

HOW TO GET YOUR KID'S LETTER FROM SANTA ANSWERED

From the USPS web site:

Parents, families or friends helping a child write a letter to Santa should mention some of the child's requests and information in the letter from Santa. Adding a line or two about the child's accomplishments or successes this year is encouraged.

Once the response is written, place the letter in a stamped envelope addressed to the child. "North Pole, AK" should be the return address. Then place the envelope into a larger, properly stamped, First-Class Mail or Priority Mail envelope and mail to:

North Pole Christmas Cancellation
Postmaster
5400 Mail Trail
Fairbanks, AK 99709-9998

North Pole postmark requests must arrive in Fairbanks, AK, before Dec. 15. Parents should send letters by Priority Mail after that date.

WHY YES, IT *IS* THE MOST QUOTABLE MOVIE EVER MADE

The Princess Bride, that is.

How quotable is it?

Quotable enough to cite in a motion to dismiss in a case about whether having sex with a dead deer is a crime in Wisconsin.

[Hat tip to reader Mike the EE of the not-recently-updated Magical Smoke]

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

I never understood it when people said "Love is all you need." This is probably because they didn't say "The love of a beautiful, passionate, compassionate, skillful, intelligent, loving, and all-around perfect woman is all you need."

[to which I added]

...YOUR love is all I need :-)

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Congratulations Gary! April 26, 1992 Elkhart Lake [Road] America]

Obviously it wasn't the prize money that made people want to race on the Road America track as it was the chance to be able to say, "I own the fastest tricycle in Wisconsin!"

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) When Homer and Snake are fighting all over Snake's moving car, what does the car eventually run into?

3) In Vietnam, Seymour Skinner got a metal plate put where?

4) Who are the barflies usually seen in Moe's Tavern with Barney?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

THIS JUST NEEDED MENTIONING

While blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World was forcing me to eat turkey & pie against my will on Sunday, blogson That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom called.

Apparently he was meeting up with bloggranddaughter Sticks of From Chaos to Serendipity.

At a Cracker Barrel off some interstate in Florida somewhere. The man just oozes class, I tell ya.

I got to chat briefly with Sticks, and she declared with some certainty that T1G does NOT have an accent.

Which ought to settle THAT argument once and for all.

OUT OF THE CLOSET AT LAST

Og of Neaderpundit now openly embraces his inner environmentalist.

*guards nads*

I'M GOING TO HUG HIM AND SQUEEZE HIM AND CALL HIM GEORGE

So I'm hanging out in the garage Sunday night, relaxing with a cigar. The dogs are out in the back yard, sniffing each other's butts (or whatever they do to amuse themselves), and I hear a moderately audible "ka-chang" sound.

I peek out the back door of the garage to see both Jake and Bandit dashing madly to the right.

"Hmmm... must be a pedestrian walking by with a dog".

*ka-chang*

Dogs dash madly to the left.

"A confused jogger?"

*ka-chang*

Dogs to the right, and I see that they're chasing after a rabbit.

"Ah... well, he'll find a hole under the chain-link fence and be off to freedom."

*ka-chang*

Dogs to the left.

"Ah... apparently this rabbit is particularly stupid, and keeps bouncing off the chain-link fence... Still, as long as he doesn't run behind the shed so that the dogs get on either side of him..."

*ka-chang*

Dogs to the right... on either side of the shed... behind which the rabbit has run.

*Grrrr!*

*squeak!*

*sque-!*

"Ah... the hand of Darwin... or in this case, the paw..."

Jake wanders from behind the shed, rabbit in mouth. Bandit bounces around excitedly, knowing that SOMETHING fun just happened but not really sure what (she's a Border Collie - she just likes herding animals).

Jake plops down by the garage door, oblivious to the rain. He likes to catch & kill critters, but he's not much for eating them. As far as he's concerned, that rabbit is just another fuzzy chew toy - albeit with a broken squeaker.

And like a fuzzy chew toy, it's for just holding in your mouth... until someone offers you a tasty pig's ear in trade.

Good boy, Jake.

PMS SURVIVAL TIPS

They forgot to mention "posting love notes on your blog".

By the way, Quality Weenie's blog has been 'Necked due to a poor choice in college sports investment, so don't be too shocked by what you find when you look around over there.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Are you a bad load of laundry? You make my pants feel two sizes too small.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)



[(rubber stamp: GUN OWNER$)]

Charleton Heston:

Legendary Actor - Gun Owner - Lousy Tipper.

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) Sideshow Bob's brother threatens to blow up what?

3) What is the name of the catalog from the Springfield sperm bank?

4) In "Brother From Another Series", what's the name of Cousin Merle's smell-hound?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

TRYING TO PICK FIGHTS

Bloggranddaughter Sarah the Penguin of Because We Have Thumbs wants to engage in bitter, cantankerous repartee in her comments.

At her OTHER blog: Use A Pencil

First up - "Is it OK to shoot cops and grandmothers, or is it just fun?"

That's a paraphrase, but feel free to go bicker.

FLAG BURNING - FOCUSSING YOUR ANGER CORRECTLY

Blogson Johnny-Oh of Closet Extremist has a reasonable reply to a disgruntled commenter who opposes showing reverence for the flag because:

America has a long, LOOOOOOOONG history of brutalization, imperialism, genocide in the name of "manifest destiny", coup-fomenting, democracy-crushing assholery that smears that flag with more filth than any protester ever could

If you're gonna hate on the flag, hate on the right one.

As you probably know, the US flag changed every time a state joined the Union, as an additional star was added the July 4th after the admission. The various designs can be found here.

If you're going to burn an American flag, please make sure it's of the appropriate time period.

Still bitter about slavery? Don't burn one with more than 35 stars.

Think the Spanish-American War was the 10 on the Quagmire Scale until Vietnam came along? Torching something with 45 stars might be just the message you want to send.

Or, if you hate oil spills, you can always spark up the Iraqi flag that sailed over Saddam when he dumped 400 million gallons of crude into the Arabian Gulf - just because he could.

Me, I'm going to go burn a pre-91 Soviet Union flag, because I hate f*ckin' commies.

I just wish hippies had a flag.

IT WASN'T *MY* FAULT - BLAME THE GULLIBLE GOOGLERS

You may have noticed that I ran out of bandwidth for a little while yesterday. The omni-benevolent Pixy Misa, host of all MuNu, has corrected that.

The apparent cause being the incredible popularity of the Google Images search, "nude Olsen twins".

Which brings up this post where the phrase "nude Olsen twins" is linked to a certain picture.

If you click the link, you'll notice that - although those ARE the repulsive-looking, troll-doll-faced Olsen twins - they are NOT, in fact, nude. Sure, their breasts lack active support, but their perkybits are discreetly hidden under stick-on plastic butterflies.

Which brings me to my point.

THERE ARE NO NUDE PICTURES OF THE OLSEN TWINS.

They don't take their clothes off in public.

Anyone who claims to have nude Olsen twins pictures is either lying or photoshopping.

If you think you've found such pictures, you've been suckered, because there's no such thing.

Nude Lindsay Lohan pictures, on the other hand, are a dime a dozen.

UPDATE: I stand corrected. Apparently real nude Olsen twins pics DO exist.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

If I could ask God one thing, it would be to stop the moon... Stop the moon and make this night and your beauty last forever...

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[macho up side down (plus stylin' stick figure guy)]

As a follow up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury release the first in its new series of "Xtreme Sports Dollars", featuring "Mad Skillz Snowboard Dude".

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) Which Simpson character was on the cover of Rolling Stone in June, 1990?

3) Which character is allergic to regular milk?

4) Who drove the vehicle that ran over Snowball I?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) In "Krusty Gets Busted", according to Bart, what do all good-hearted people have?

3) When Krusty gets busted, why does he accidentally plead guilty in court?

4) What is Abe Simpson's opinion of "The Happy Little Elves" cartoons?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

I ASSUME THIS IS COMMON, BUT I COULD BE WRONG

Am I the only person who feels a small thrill of joy when the letters I get for a Blogger comment word verification spell something that I can pronounce?

You know... like "lyburnt" instead of "arlhghkp".

And what about the urge to try to come up with a definition for that pronouncable word? That's normal too, right?

For the record, lyburnt means "in the state of having acquired a rug burn while lying down on the floor for wild, spontaneous sex". As in "She had a great time, but her ass was lyburnt in the morning".

IT'S A GIRL!

Thanks to bloggranddaughter ArmyWifeToddlerMom, the Bad Example Family has a new bouncing blogbaby girl to tag with those horrible, annoying memes:

KD of The Life of the Wife

Let's see what's underneath the little pink blanket:

This just tickles me - "don’t want him to know I consistently fret" is what she posts on her publicly accessible blog. Heh. He'll NEVER see it there...

Now we start getting to know her as she deals with the first week of her husband's deployment. As to this statement: "I write him at least twice a day and I can't tell if he wants me to or not.", my response is "no... more". After 6 years in the Navy, I can say with certainty that messages from home can NEVER come frequently enough.

On the other hand, DO try to pace yourself. If the frequency of messages declines, a man starts to worry a bit. Between the two, consistency will trump frequency over the long haul.

Does anyone know German? If you do, maybe you can give KD a hand. Personally, my suggestion is to start reading German blogs. You can start by looking here.

Dealing with the empty house - and yes, DO be grateful for e-mail. Beats the hell out of waiting 3 weeks for a letter. And don't forget, they have internet-operable vibrators now [link NC17], so you've got even MORE advantages over your WWII forebears.

"Cracky loves the Wieners!" - KD, you've GOT to link some pictures for this piece. The Wikipedia article you linked isn't being very helpful.

Lonely summer nights - We'll have to do what we can to keep her company this summer. Maybe a nice BlogCrawl.

Outed - 'nuff said.

What to get for the man who has no room to put anything? - Good question. But if you're looking for something cigar-related, try Cigars International or JR Cigar. Might also send him a link to my handy cigar storage tips.

Looking forward to Thanksgiving - with picture.

"ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh!! Mom, I want it! I want it! Moooooom, I NEEEEEED IT!" - Yeah, I say that a lot myself, except with more panting.

"Even better: someone buys and produces my universal, RFID tag based, closet contained laundry system." - We had something like that on the USS Enterprise. You throw your laundry in a mesh bag, put it in the laundry bin, and 3 weeks later it got tossed onto your rack, slightly damp and smelling like everyones else's sweat. Hopefully KD's version works better.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

You want to know how great my love is?
Count the waves.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[have a nice day]

As a follow up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Customer Service Cliche Dollars". Coming soon: "How may I help you?" and "Fries with that?".

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) (T/F) "Scandals & Suicides" is the TV show that does a feature on Homer's sexual-assault scandal

3) Who does Bart think chopped up George Washington?

4) What is Bart's cherished toddler toy?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

CLOSETED, OR "HASN'T FOUND THE RIGHT WOMAN?"

For reasons unknown to me, Beloved Wife TNT was browsing the TV listings for Sesame Street and noted that the cast listing seemed particularly ethnically diverse.

Having grown up watching Sesame Street, I assured her that the show had ALWAYS been multicultural to the Nth degree.

Back in the 70's, there was only one white woman - Linda - but she was deaf, so that's what made HER special.

Then there's Bob. The music teacher. Who lives alone. And never married.

Now, the actor portraying Bob (Bob McGrath), is married with children, but as for the character he portrayed (Bob Johnson), do you think they were implying he preferred men, or do you think I'm reading too much into this?

Fun Facts About Rhode Island

While the IMAO podcast is still MIA, I'm going to keep posting the latest uncut Fun Facts About The 50 States - hopefully on a weekly schedule.

This week, we'll be wondering how they squeeze a million square miles of tacky tourist shops into a thousand square miles of state as we visit Rhode Island. So let's get started...

Rhode Island became the 13th state on May 29, 1790. It was originally founded by refugees from Connecticut and Massachusetts who thought that having double consonants in a state's name looked snooty and pretentious.

The state flag of Rhode Island is two-sided. One side features a white background with thirteen gold stars encircling a gold anchor. The other side is pure white and was inspired by the French battle flag.

The state motto of Rhode Island is "Size Doesn't Matter".

Rhode Island license plates has black letters on a light blue background and the slogan "Clamtastic!"

Rhode Island is the smallest state in the US, measuring a mere 48 by 37 miles. Think of it as the old maid in America's popcorn bucket.

Rhode Island never ratified the 18th amendment (Prohibition). They were going to, but they ran out of gas. They had a flat tire. They didn't have enough money for cab fare. Their tuxes didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole their cars. There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! It wasn't their fault! I swear to God!

Jeremiah Johnson of Newport, Rhode Island, was the first person to receive a jail sentence for speeding in an automobile. His sentence was later reduced to picking up after all the horses that his reckless driving had scared the crap out of.

Polo was first played in the US in Newport, Rhode Island. For those not familiar with the game, it's sorta like hockey, except with more horses and - if you can imagine this - even fewer black people.

The Flying Horse Carousel in Watch Hill, Rhode Island, is the oldest in the US. Since it was built in 1876, it has been ridden more times than Madonna.

NOTE: The previous statement should be reviewed for accuracy on a day-by-day basis.

The first circus in the US started in 1774 in Newport, Rhode Island. The ceaseless bickering between the Fat Lady and the Dog Faced Boy is frequently cited by historians as the inspiration for America's two-party political system.

Newport, Rhode Island is home to the Tennis Hall of Fame, which honors such widely-known tennis stars as... um... you know... that one guy... what's-his-face. And I think there's a couple chicks in there, too.

Whatever. Does anybody ACTUALLY follow tennis?

Songwriter George M. Cohan was born in Providence, Rhode Island. His big hit "I'm A Yankee Doodle Dandy", was translated for the British stage as "I'm An American Loony Poofter".

In 1953, St. Mary's church in Newport, Rhode Island was the site of the marriage between John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline Bouvier. It was a fairy-tale wedding, right up until the point where an especially drunken Ted Kennedy mistook the confessional for a men's room stall.

Rhode Island is famous for making silverware and fine jewelry. I personally have no idea what these are, since I'm more of a plastic spork and rubber bracelet kinda guy.

The roof of Providence, Rhode Island's New England Pest Control building is home to the world's largest bug - a 58-foot-long blue termite. The second largest bug is any given Florida cockroach.

Yeah, I know they're technically "Palmetto Bugs", but that's not much consolation when one pours out of your box of Wheaties in the morning.

At the Point Judith corrosion test site, various materials sit exposed for years to determine the effects of sun and salt air. Tests show that the thing that falls apart most rapidly under adverse circumstances is a Republican Congress.

Rhode Island was the first state to strike a blow against England during the Revolutionary War. The English ship "Gaspee" was sunk in Narragansett Bay in 1772 after being hit by a cow that had been catapulted from a nearby castle.

Roger Williams, the founder of Rhode Island, wrote the original draft of the First Amendment, guaranteeing freedom of speech, the press, religion, and public assembly. Sadly omitted in the final draft was the guarantee of hot-chicks-only nude beaches.

Samuel Slater of Pawtucket, Rhode Island, invented the water-powered cotton mill in 1790. Southern plantation owners opposed the machine, fearing that it's high efficiency and productivity could spark a wave of low self-esteem amongst the slaves.

The first British troops sent to crush the Revolution landed in Newport, Rhode Island in 1773. They were themselves crushed by a giant wooden rabbit that had been catapulted from a nearby castle.

Atop the State House in Providence, Rhode Island, stands the statue of "The Independent Man". Standing above him and wielding a rolling pin is the statue of "The Nagging Wife".

The first girl born to American colonist parents is buried in Little Compton, Rhode Island. The first boy is also buried there, under a marker engraved with his last words, "Look! Friendly Indians!"

The White Horse Tavern in Newport, Rhode Island is the oldest operating tavern in the US. When it first opened in 1673, the labelling of the men's and women's restrooms as "Stallions" and "Mares" was still considered original and clever.

Portsmouth, Rhode Island, is home to the oldest schoolhouse in the US. Built in 1716, some of George Washington's original spitballs can still be seen stuck to the ceiling.

The Rhode Island Red Monument in Adamsville, Rhode Island, honors the famous poultry breed, and is the largest chicken-related monument in the world except for the Eiffel Tower.

Built in 1763, Newport, Rhode Island's Touro Synagogue is the oldest synagogue in the US and contains the oldest Torah in North America. And no, it's NOT because they're too cheap to buy a new one. Don't be anti-Semitic.

Pelham Street in Newport, Rhode Island was the first street in America to use gas-illuminated streetlights in place of the burning witches common to New England in that era.

Rhode Island has a population of just over one million people, all of whom know that a "coffee-cup salute" is a shout-out to local businesses by Channel 10's Frank Coletta, and NOT a euphemism for an unspeakably degrading sexual act.

Don't try asking anyone from Massachusetts about it, though.

---

That wraps up the Rhode Island edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we'll be frustratedly breaking golf clubs in Myrtle Beach as we visit South Carolina.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go visit the confessional before Ted Kennedy... EWWWWWWWW!... too late...

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

I've grown to you as a leaf on a plant.
You provide my structure and sustinance, I provide you the energy to grow and thrive.
Much as the leaf is constantly renewed each spring, you readily provide me with a renewal of life and purpose with your ever-flowing love.
And as the rings within a tree show the years of growth and strength, the love I see when I look into your eyes shows years of togetherness and bonding.
Both require one to look inside to see the depth of history.
Both require more than just a quick glance to fully appreciate.
May the depth of your loving gaze grow deeper with each year that we renew our love.

[Penned by blogson _Jon of We Swear, and too damn good to let sit hidden in the comments]

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[conditioner]

Question: what item does Don King always forget to put on his shopping list?

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) In what public place do Marge and Homer get caught making love?

3) Homer climbs to the top of a mountain to promote what "nutritional" product?

4) What type of glue does Bart use to attach joke shop stuff to his face?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

A PLAN, OR JUST HAPPY CIRCUMSTANCE?

Lynn of A Sweet, Familiar Dissonance has a short post with a quote about the pitiful technique with which history classes are generally taught. You know the kind - "Memorize these names, dates, and places, and puke them back up for the test".

In college I was fortunate enough to have the GOOD kind of history prof. He was an accomplished storyteller, and did a good job making the past come alive. Also, his focus was not on the raw data, but on the historical trends and events that tied one story to the next. Exams were all essay.

One day we were discussing the Cold War, and he asked how it ended in the collapse of the Soviet Union (this was in 1992). I piped up, "we challenged the Russians to a spending contest & they lost."

Surprisingly, he agreed, and I felt pretty damn good about having my off-the-cuff remark supported instead of being met with a glare for being a smart-ass.

Which brings me to the point of this post.

Reagan added hundreds of billions of dollars to the defense budget. The Russians spent hundreds of billions of dollars playing catch-up. Since a communist state has far less money than a capitalistic one, they went broke trying to maintain parity.

My question is: do you think that was Reagan's plan all along? To outspend the Russians and drive Ivan into bankruptcy? Or do you think he was just preparing to be the stronger side in case war broke out, with no real inkling that the arms race would ever end?

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Outside are gray skies.
Inside, my wife sits with me
No gray, just sunshine.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

Yes, son, I did say that you could get your ear pierced, but I didn't say that you could get a hole big enough to stick a freakin' baseball bat through!

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) What kind of beer does Homer drink?

3) Which Simpson character says he can't commit to a relationship?

4) What's Krusty's street address?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

MURDEROUSNESS AND EDUCATIONALITY - TOGETHER AT LAST!

Practice your typing skills while you blow up your enemies.

Figure if you blog, you should be a good enough typist to play this game.

[via bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks]

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Life is an ocean and love is a boat
In troubled waters it keeps us afloat
When we started the voyage there was just me and you
Now gathered 'round us we have our own crew

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Todd is]

Although he might not be, depending on whether you go with the Clinton definition.

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) Who eventually gets all of The Leader's ill-gotten money?

3) After Bart discovers a comet, he is invited to join what elite group?

4) What psychiatrist helps Marge with her fear of flying?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

REVIEWME.COM UPDATE

5 days later, my review was finally reviewed and approved by the ReviewMe.com site. They've determined that it met the requirements of both being longer than 200 words and mentioning that it was a paid review.

I've got mixed feelings, here.

I'm glad they put me in their "we owe you" category. This is one more step in showing that they're a legit operation. Of course, the actual payment part isn't scheduled until early December, so I'm curbing my enthusiasm until the check clears.

However, I'm disappointed that it took them 5 days to verify my review when I was given a 48-hour deadline to post it after accepting the assignment. I'd consider it an improvement in the quality of the site if they'd either speed that up OR find a way to give an estimate on how long they expect verification to take.

BABY KILLERS!

That's right, Air Force Chief Master Sgt. John Gebhardt has made it his job to comfort a Iraqi child who was nearly murdered by baby-killing terrorists.

But I'm sure it's all over CNN, so you don't need ME to tell you.

[Hat tip to Blogless Patricia for the pic]

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

[new note - not previously posted]

Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart. You're my Someone Special.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[stress related]

As a follow up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "What Caused That Heart Attack Dollars".

Coming soon: "Chicago snow-shovelling" and "NAG! NAG! NAG!"

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) After seeing a daredevil perform, Bart decides to jump over what on his skateboard?

3) How much does Bart get for his blood down on Skid Row?

4) Who is credited for writing the movie that Burns enters into the film competition?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Love is:
Running into her arms,
Colliding with her heart,
And exploding into her soul.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Merry Xmas Jeff & Carol]

It was Jeff & Carol's best Christmas ever! Imagine FINALLY being able to afford those Happy Meals they'd had their eyes on for so very long!

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) Lisa is for a while addicted to calling what hotline?

3) Wiggum put a boot on Ms. Hoover's car until she gave Ralph what?

4) In "I Love Lisa" who does Bart portray in the school play?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

BECAUSE YOUR EGO NEEDS CRUSHING

You may have heard the term "A-list blogger" before. It's the tag granted to that uber-cool clique of "been-there-done-that-buy-my-T-shirt" bloggers whose names are ubiquitous and who sit around talking with their uppity friends about how wonderful they all are.

Not that I'm jealous or anything.

But if you've ever wanted to find out just how inadequately you stack up against the rest of the blogosphere, well, now you can:

The Blogebrity Widget (aka the Total Perspective Vortex)

Just plug in your URL and find out how devastatingly unimportant you truly are.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go out and kill a grizzly with my bare hands to try to reclaim my manhood.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

I love that you get cold when it's seventy degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[VAULT]

"Brian, your scarecrow's pathetic!"

(GOD how I love that commercial!)

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) In the weekly opening sequence, what time is it as Bart writes on the chalkboard?

3) After a hurricane destroys his home, what mental hospital does Ned check into?

4) Who said "Don't learn anything I wouldn't learn"?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

I could do without many things with no hardship.

You are not one of them!

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Jennie Withrow Prod CPR]

As a follow-up to it's popular State Quarters program, the Treasury issued the first in its new series of "Life Saving Medical Technique Dollars". This one commemorates Jennie Withrow's ground-breaking experiments with the use of cattle prods to resuscitate heart-attack victims.

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) What was Homer doing when he realized he didn't know his middle name?

3) What is Otto's last name?

4) What does Jolly Jack Tate do for a living?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

BRING IT BACK!

Og of Neanderpundit laments the scarcity of Bic Metal razors:

Hate it when a product I like is hard to find.

Amen, brother.

Even worse is when they take it off the market completely without even so much as a "by your leave, sir".

I miss Tastations.

How 'bout you guys? What do YOU wish they'd bring back?

MAKING THE WOLD A BETTER PLACE, ONE LOVE NOTE AT A TIME

If I'm not mistaken, this appreciator of my Love Notes posts hails from an Arabic-speaking corner of the world.

Just one of those, "huh... well how 'bout that..." moments.

[found via Technorati]

BAN THIS BLOG!

Blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World mentioned that the Bad Example site was banned at the Rochester, NY airport.

No surprise there.

If you'll check the left sidebar near the bottom of the "Reader Quotes" section, you'll see a list of states that have banned my site. New York is amongst them.

As are Utah, Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Georgia.

If I've been banned in any other states, let me know.

Fun Facts About Pennsylvania

While the IMAO podcast is still MIA, I'm going to keep posting the latest uncut Fun Facts About The 50 States - hopefully on a weekly schedule.

This week, we'll be recklessly running Amish buggies off the road for fun as we visit Pennsylvania. So let's get started...

Pennsylvania became the 2nd state on December 12, 1787. They foolishly squandered their shot at being first by mistakenly assuming that Delaware would choose scissors instead of paper.

Pennsylvania license plates are white with blue lettering, and contain the helpful phrase "Not The Sylvania With The Vampires".

The state Motto of Pennsylvania is "Buy our Revolutionary-War-related souveniers or we'll question your patriotism".

Pennsylvania has a population of over 12 million people, all of whom can spell "Roethlisberger" without looking it up first.

Born in Cove Gap, Pennsylvania, James Buchanan was elected the 15th president of the US due the use of confusing butterfly ballots in Florida - the REAL cause of the Civil War.

Pennsylvania was the first state to have its own web site - www.two.n.one.l.gov

The first baseball stadium was built in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in 1909. It was financed by Old Man Johnson, who explained, "It's cheaper than replacing all the windows those gul-durned whipper-snappers keep breaking - now get offa my lawn!"

Hershey, Pennsylvania is the Chocolate Capital of the US - Ray Nagin's claims about New Orleans to the contrary notwithstanding.

The first automobile service station was opened in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in 1913. The first customer was finally served in 1915, after the invention of that cable-thingy that rings a bell when you run over it.

The first computer was built in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, in 1946. It was as big as a house, could not answer complex questions, and its responses were confusing gobbledygook which even experts had a hard time deciphering. Sorta like Michael Moore without the filthy ballcap.

York Barbell Co. was started in York, Pennsylvania, in 1932. Its Olympic bodybuilding coach founder, Bob Hoffman, inspired such burly legends as Charles Atlas and Arnold Schwarzenegger by kicking sand in their faces and stealing their girls back when they were still weak and helpless.

The first daily newspaper in the US was published in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, in 1784. It's first headline: "Redcoats Of Mass Destruction Never Existed - The Lies Behind Washington's Illegal War For Tea"

In Loganville, Pennsylvania, in 1885, Dr. George Holtzapple recorded the first successful medical use of oxygen to help a patient breathe. The new technique would never replace the more reliable mixture of opium smoke and powdered leeches still used in hospitals today.

The Rockville Bridge in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania was the longest stone arch bridge in the world until it was destroyed for the climatic fight scene during the filming of "Fellowship of the Ring II: The Balroginning".

Kennett Square, Pennsylvania is known as the Mushroom Capital of the World. The town produces more fungus per square foot than a truck stop shower stall.

The Declaration of Independence was singed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, in 1776. That's NOT a typo. Seems that after the signing, the Founding Fathers got 'faced and weren't too careful with the fireworks.

KDKA radio in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, produced the first commercial radio broadcast in 1920 which featured Jebediah and Ezekiel, the Wacky Amish Morning Guys.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, was home to the Liberty Bell for many years, but it was recently traded for the Security Bell by those who deserve neither.

Washington Crossing, Pennsylvania, holds an annual re-enactment of Washington's famous crossing of the Delaware River. At least until last year when they were sued by the ACLU, which claimed that the word "crossing" discriminated against non-Christians.

Benjamin Franklin created the first American zoo in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. It was originally stocked with British POW's wearing animal costumes.

Attention Amnesty International - NOT TORTURE.

Actor Jimmy Stewart was born in Indiana, Pennsylvania. Every year, the city is decorated with an "It's A Wonderful Life" theme. A bit of IAWL trivia - in the original version, Stewart's character burns down the Bailey Building & Loan for the insurance money and escapes to the Bahamas.

The Williamsport team won the first Little League World Series, held in Williamsport, Pennsylvania in 1947. Experts agree that the Williamsport team could quite likely have beaten the 1947 Chicago Cubs. Or the Cubs in ANY year, for that matter.

The city of State College, Pennsylvania, was the first city to offer a high school driver's education course, replacing the older method of handing the kid the keys and a six pack and wishing him luck.

George Blaisdell founded the Zippo Manufacturing Co. in Bradford, Pennsylvania, in 1932. His lighters were featured prominently in the original version of "It's A Wonderful Life".

There is actually a town in Pennsylvania called Intercourse. However, moving there won't guarantee you a satisfying sex life. Moving to Climax, Pennsylvania, on the other hand...

In 1859, Edwin Drake drilled the world's first oil well in Titusville, Pennsylvania, thus making possible the women's lubricated wrestling industry.

Johann Behrent built the first American piano in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in 1775 after a friend bet him $200 that there was nothing more annoying than a hyperactive 3-year-old banging away on a harpsichord.

Philadelphia was the home of Betsy Ross, who made the first American flag, as well as doing the embroidery on George Washington's "If you can read this, the bitch fell off my horse" jacket.

Punxsutawney Phil, the most famous groundhog in the world, makes his home in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. Although ostensibly unbiased, he has long been rumored to be a mere tool of Big Weather.

Comedian and actor Bill Cosby was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and was the last black man to sell a consumer product without using the word "yo".

---

That wraps up the Pennsylvania edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we'll be trying desperately to locate Quahog on a map as we visit Rhode Island.

NOW STOP QUESTIONING MY PATRIOTISM!

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

You will only find one true love in your life
And if you're lucky
You'll get to spend the rest of your life with her.

[to which I added]

LUCKY HARV!

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[EASTER 2004 Love You Gramma]

Having just spent $50 on chocolate bunnies and jelly beans, Gramma rewarded the grandkids' underwhelming show of gratitude by cutting the little bastards out of her will.

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) Who keeps a card in his pocket that reads, "Always do the opposite of what Bart says"?

3) In "Marge on the Lam", what does Homer like to do up at the old make-out place?

4) Who is the character in the Junior Campers handbook that always does the wrong thing?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

REVIEWME.COM - UPDATED 12-19-06

(A paid review)

Found this via Pam of Pamibe.

About 18 months ago, I decided (involuntarily) that I'd had enough of the corporate world and that I'd give professional blogging a try.

Results were tepid.

Things I do for money now include accepting Google AdSense ads in my sidebar, selling merchandise via the IMAO store, and blogging at IMAO for a cut of the ad revenue.

A nice trickle, but not exactly a 401(k).

Well, it appears that there's a new trickle in town - ReviewMe.com.

WHAT THEY DO FOR BLOGGERS

After you sign up, you are offered payment in exchange for your review of a product or service. Since ReviewMe.com is new, the first offer is for reviewing ReviewMe.com itself.

WHAT THEY DO FOR ADVERTISERS

Get blogs talking about you in a post - you know... the part of a blog that actually gets LOOKED at - instead of just placing highly ignorable ads in people's sidebars.

WHAT REVIEWME.COM CLAIMS

According to the site's FAQ, after you sign up, you will be offered between $20 and $200 to write a review of their advertisers' products or services, with the specific offer depending on how your blog is ranked according to some (undisclosed) algorithm of Alexa rank, Technorati rank, and estimated number of RSS feed subscriptions.

There is no content restriction for reviews.

The reviews do NOT have to be positive.

The reviews DO have to be at least 200 words.

You MUST disclose that you're being compensated for your review.

NO, REALLY, HOW IS RANK DETERMINED?

They don't say. However, Engtech hypothesizes that it's likely related to your BlogJuice score.

To crunch some numbers:

My BlogJuice score is 5.6, and I'm being offered $50

Engtech scored 3.9 and was offered $30

Paul Stamatiou scored 6.1 and was offered $125

Caydel’s SEO Blog scored 0.4 and was offered $20

So Engtech is probably right.

IS THIS FOR REAL?

I don't know. Payouts are done between the 1st and 4th of each month, and - according to the site's blog - they launched on November 9th, so there's a lot of IOU's but no one's actually been paid yet. This doesn't necessarily make them a questionable operation, just "unknown at this point". Ask me again on December 5th.

Absolute worst case disaster scenario: the operation is ineptly run, goes out of business, you don't get paid for your reviews, they sell their servers without wiping the hard drives, some dirtbag gets your social security number, and your identity gets stolen.

More realistic worst case scenario: the operation is ineptly run, goes out of business, and you don't get paid for your reviews.

Likely scenario: the operation is competently run, you get paid for reviewing ReviewMe.com, but your blog doesn't have a target audience that attracts any other offers, so that's your only paid review.

Other likely scenario: the operation is competently run, you get paid for reviewing ReviewMe.com, but advertisers think your review is poorly written, unfair, or uninformative, so you receive no new offers.

Best case scenario: the operation is competently run, you get paid for reviewing ReviewMe.com, advertisers love your style, and you can make a living (or at least some extra money) doing paid reviews.

We'll just have to wait & see how it plays out.

By the way, I should mention here that the folks at ReviewMe.com have been polishing and shaping this concept since June of 2006 (and blogging sporadically about it), so it's quite unlikely that they're an utter fly-by-night operation.

SHOULD YOU SIGN UP?

Assuming that you consider the disaster scenario sufficiently improbable (as I do), you've really got nothing to lose other than the time it takes to sign up and write your first review. That's a judgment call you have to make based on how much you value your time and your personal level of risk aversion. But if you're interested, let me give you some food for thought:

Blogging for money WILL change you. Your perception of yourself and your blog will be altered. You'll start writing with your audience and potential advertisers in mind. You will not feel as free to speak your mind. You'll start down a path of self-censorship until you become a corporate shill.

Ok, that's the absolute worst case disaster scenario, but still, you WILL start to feel more like you're writing for an audience instead of for yourself. If your blog's main purpose is stress relief or casual interpersonal contact with other bloggers, you might want to turn away from mammon's temptation.

Otherwise, if you're reasonably confident that you can maintain your objectivity under pressure, go ahead & sign up.

WHY I SIGNED UP

Aside from the money, I *enjoy* doing objective analysis posts. King of the Blogs reviews, judging the IMAO T-shirt Babe contest, and my review of Matty O'Blackfive's "The Blog of War" - all posts that I *loved* writing. I'm *quite* certain of my ability to examine things from different angles and declare qualitative rankings.

So I *know* I can do this, and do it well, therefore I'm diving right in. Wish me luck.

ABOUT THAT SIGN UP PROCESS

You're going to need to do a little prep work before you sign up, because you'll be asked to both choose 6 descriptive tag words/phrases, AND write a short description of your blog. If you don't know which tag words to use, I recommend checking the most popular Technorati tags and using them - IF they honestly apply to your blog.

Or you can always create your blog's word cloud and see what your most frequently used words are.

For your blog description, try to describe your site in terms of "what's in it for the advertiser". I wrote mine as follows:

Blog aimed toward intelligent, educated adults, generally age 30-50. Politically right-leaning, featuring some partisan humor, but politics is only a minor part of the overall content. Can be counted on for an objective opinion on serious topics, with dashes of humor thrown in to keep it all readable.

Sample categories:

Blogging, Blogging Tips, Cool Toys, Funny on Purpose, Good Advice, Love Notes, Naughty Stuff, Ponderings

You might also consider mentioning your traffic stats, e.g. approximate monthly visits & page views.

A FINAL CAUTION FOR SIGN UP

Because you will be paid, ReviewMe.com will ask for you social security number. This isn't unusual. Pretty much any site that cuts you a check will request it. Just be sure that before you submit your info, you glance up at the address box in your browser and make sure the URL starts with "https" - the indication that your information will be sent encrypted.

UPDATE 11-20-06:

5 days later, my review was finally reviewed and approved by the ReviewMe.com site. They've determined that it met the requirements of both being longer than 200 words and mentioning that it was a paid review.

I've got mixed feelings, here.

I'm glad they put me in their "we owe you" category. This is one more step in showing that they're a legit operation. Of course, the actual payment part isn't scheduled until early December, so I'm curbing my enthusiasm until the check clears.

However, I'm disappointed that it took them 5 days to verify my review when I was given a 48-hour deadline to post it after accepting the assignment. I'd consider it an improvement in the quality of the site if they'd either speed that up OR find a way to give an estimate on how long they expect verification to take.

UPDATE 12-1-06:

Got paid today via Paypal. I no longer question ReviewMe.com's ability or willingness to pay.

However, DO note that their future ability to pay - as with any company - will depend on their ability to balance income against expenses over the long haul.

Time will tell on that aspect, but they're off to a good start.

Meanwhile, subject to my cautionary statements about blogging for money, feel free to sign up at ReviewMe.com.

HOW THEY ADVERTISE BLOGS

Their front page contains three screenshots of member blogs which rotate randomly each time the page is refreshed. I just happened to get mine while I was visiting:

(click to enlarge)

Note that it only includes an excerpt from the description of your blog that you submit at sign-up. Try to make your first couple sentences attractive/intriguing to potential advertisers so that they'll be inclined to check out the whole thing.

UPDATE 12-19-06:

Although I've completed and been paid for one review, I had serious doubts as to whether I'd ever be chosen by an advertiser to do another one. This blog is fairly eclectic, and I just couldn't imagine a product that would be in tune with it.

Turns out I was wrong.

I received an offer to do a review on December 18th, and the advertiser who asked was actually a good fit for what this blog is about.

So, I guess it's true that there's someone out there for everyone.

I was just surprised they found me.

Pleasantly surprised.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only. Nothing is more real than these great shocks which two souls give each other in exchanging this spark.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Disney Vacation Fund]

After years of scrimping and saving, the Joneses had finally scraped together enough money to buy the gas to drive around the parking lot long enough to find an open stall.

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) What does Barney use for a coffee table in his apartment?

3) In "Bart Gets Famous", Homer says he'd like to smack which little snot?

4) Who is officially credited for providing the voice of Lisa's substitute teacher, Mr. Bergstrom?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

JUST WONDERING

So... is this the epilogue to "Gramp's Little Helper"?

APPARENTLY THOSE RUMORS *WERE* GREATLY EXAGGERATED

Blogson-in-law Alex of Alex in Wonderland has finally returned from his long hiatus and wonders if fundamentalist Christian groups will be doing more or less harrassing of the FCC now that the Democrats are in power.

Personally, I think it'll be less, since they'll be working on the '08 presidential campaign instead of wasting time watching TV that they disapprove of.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

You are my heart, my soul, and all that I am. I love you more with every breath I take and my love renews every time I think about you. I am glad to have the honor of being yours.

You are my friend, my love, my queen, and the woman I cherish with all the energy that I can draw from my heart.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[bass-turd {picture of fish, arrow pointing to small object under tail}]

It's some kind of commemorative dollar, but I'm not sure whether it's for Ted Kennedy, Bill Clinton, or Michael Moore.

(hat tip to Susie of Practical Penumbra for finding this one for me)

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) What movie star asked Homer to help him fix his film?

3) According to Homer, how did he gain so much weight since high school?

4) In the weekly opening sequence, what are Patty & Selma doing?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

WHAT SEX ED *OUGHT* TO BE

This is the part of the facts of life that they never seem to get around to teaching in the classroom, yet it's OH so much more important.

And so practical.

Video is NC17. Do not watch with small children or uptight bosses within earshot. Images are generally tame, but a few scenes would be hard to explain to a casual passerby.

THEY'RE SCREWING WITH MY CURRENCY AGAIN

"As a follow-up to the popular State Quarters Program, the US Treasury will, in 2007, start producing it's new series of "Presidential Dollar Coins". First up - George Washington."

No, seriously.

Four per year, and - depending on who gets elected when and who dies when - this will take somewhere between 10 and 12 years. A president will only be placed on the coin if he's been dead two years as of his scheduled minting date. That's because the US does not allow living people to be depicted on its money, since that's what crappy third-world dictatorships do.

And British colonies, too, I suppose, so no offense intended to the current loyal subjects of QEII.

Oddly, they'll still be minting Sacagawea $1 coins right alongside the presidential ones. My guess is that it's a sop to the teen-mother vote.

In other coin news, come 2009 (the bicentennial of Lincoln's birth) they'll be screwing with the back of the penny. Four different scenes from Lincoln's life:

1. his birth and early childhood in Kentucky
2. his formative years in Indiana
3. his professional life in Illinois
4. his presidency in Washington, D.C.

In 2010, the back of the penny will feature, "an image emblematic of President Lincoln's preservation of the United States of America as a single and united country". Probably a rebel getting bayonetted or something.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

[new note - not previously posted]

Since the dawn of time, great thinkers have said no perfect beauty lives on earth.
They may have thought it was true, but then again they've never seen you.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(crossed out) FIGHT CRIME. KILL A LIBERAL]

As a follow-up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury announced the first in its new series of "Democrats-in-Charge Forbidden Speech Dollars". Coming soon: (crossed out) "Support the 2nd Amendment" and (crossed out) "Nancy Pelosi Looks Like a Post-op Michael Jackson"

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) Which character was kicked out of the barbershop quartet, the Be Sharps?

3) After Skinner re-enlists in the Army, what is his plan for getting out?

4) What movie on TV does Homer watch to prepare him for college life?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

[new note - not previously posted]

Every day, I live a life of enchantment - a fairy tale come true,
a complete fulfillment of romance, from the love I get from you.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Bob 54]

... is the nickname applied to Senator Dole after he was FINALLY elected President in 2048.

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) According to Bart, what does Jessica Lovejoy's hair smell like?

3) In "Bart's Girlfriend", Dr. Hibbert confesses that he left his Porsche keys where?

4) In "Fear of Flying", what is the pilot's lounge at the Springfield airport called?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

VETERANS DAY 2006

To those who served: Thank you.

To those currently serving: Thank you.

To the civilians circa 1985-1991: You're welcome.

My suggestion for the best way to thank the troops?

1) Enjoy life in a free country. A gift ain't a gift unless it's enjoyed. Do something fun.

2) Be the kind of American who's worth fighting for.

Off-topic: is it "Veterans Day", "Veteran's Day", or "Veterans' Day"? I'm having trouble finding a definitive answer.

Progress In Afghanistan

(cross-posted from IMAO)

Afghanistan celebrates the formation of it's new Ministry of Silly Walks.

[Hat tip to CENTCOM for the pic]

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

You are my heart, my soul, and all that I am. I love you more with every breath I take and my love renews every time I think about you. I am glad to have the honor of being yours.

You are my friend, my love, my queen, and the woman I cherish with all the energy that I can draw from my heart.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[GUN OWNER $]

I hear that back in her stripper days, Ann Coulter used to find a LOT of these tucked into her G-string.

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) When Homer guest stars on the game show "Springfield Squares", which square is he in?

3) When Homer and Ned have a drunken fling in Las Vegas, who do they marry?

4) Even though there's a curfew, the Springfield kids sneak into the drive-in to see what movie?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

You are to me - as pen, ink, and a Muse to the poet - the very breath and substance of my existence.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[42]

"What is six times eight?"

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) (T/F) The celbrities featured in Homer's Museum of Hollywood Jerks are Johnny Carson, Jay Leno, and Elizabeth Taylor

3) Who provided the voice for Groovy Grove co-owner and aging hippie Munchie?

4) Even though the sea captain tells Homer he's on the "Ship of Lost Souls", what name is on the boat's back?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

MOONLIGHTING?

Watching Comedy Central's Premium Blend, and out on the stage steps bloggranddaughter ArmyWifeToddlerMom.

Or at least I *think* it was her.

All I know is that I've never seen her AND Tracy Smith together in the same room.

Next on TLC's "What Not To Wear On Patrol"...

(cross-posted from IMAO)

U.S. Army Capt. Samuel Shepherd calls in the fashion police on two Iraqi soldiers for accessorizing their camo with 70's-retro-orange rifles.

[Hat tip to CENTCOM for the pic]

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

That's a stunningly sexy teddy you're wearing. Why don't we see how it looks crumpled up in a ball on the floor?

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(REALLY beat-up $10 bill)]

Ugly, shabby, full of holes - think of it as the currency equivalent of the claim, "I'm against the war, but I support the troops".

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) When meeting with the Germans who buy the power plant, Homer dreams about what fantasy land?

3) What song does Homer sing to demonstrate the Superstar Celebrity Microphone?

4) In "Radio Bart", Lisa is seen reading what girl's magazine?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

SEE? I'M *NOT* A FREAK! - UPDATED 10:30PM

Bloggrandson-in-law =HC= of House of Zathras mentions this quirk:

I put icecubes in my milk.

And there's more milk-icers in the comments.

For years, Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite has mocked me mercilessly for doing the same thing, treating me as though I was the only person on the planet capable of such deranged behavior.

Looks like this particular fetish may have a larger following than anyone has ever suspected. Come on, you closet milk-icers... fess up.

By the way, =HC=, please consider getting your own blog. Writing talent like yours needs to be showcased, not hidden in comments sections. Read this & think it over.

UPDATE - 10:30 PM: I'm not actually a freak, because I've got an excuse. Four years on the Enterprise where the milk was usually served at room temperature. And keep in mind that - all too often - the temperature of the "room" was also about the temp of the part of the Indian Ocean we were floating around on. Say about 90 degrees.

Warm water, warm milk, warm pop, warm bug juice, warm beer (if we were out to sea long enough)... I developed an obsession with making sure that drinks that are supposed to be served cold are served at the temperature God intended, i.e. just above freezing.

So I'm not really a freak, just scarred.

DOING WHAT I CAN

Since I can't do anything about the Democrats gaining political power (except make fun of them, of course), I'll go help buy voice-activated laptops for wounded vets.

GO NAVY!

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

True love is the greatest thing in the world…
Except for cough drops…
Everyone knows that.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

Attempting to thow a bone to the liberals, President Bush appointed Michael Moore as Secretary of the Treasury. The results were predictable.

What was less predictable was that Moore agreed to resign his post after the complete production run of the new bill was shoved up his ass by Donald Rumsfeld.

(Hat tip to the delightful SondraK of Knowledge Is Power for the pic)

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) In "Treehouse of Horror IV", a gremlin is seen attacking what?

3) Why does next door neighbor Ruth Powers flee the law?

4) Who created the doll Malibu Stacy?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

NOT AS BIG OF A PROBLEM AS YOU MIGHT THINK

Jim of Parkway Rest Stop expressed some concern over a recent story wherein:

Screeners at Newark Liberty International Airport failed 20 of 22 security tests conducted by undercover U.S. agents last week, missing an array of concealed bombs and guns at checkpoints throughout the hub’s three terminals

Me, I'm not as concerned.

Yes, they missed twenty weapons, but they caught two.

The important thing to note here is this: before the security checks took place, the undercover agents had no idea WHICH two they would miss.

The catch-percentage was low, but not zero, so the chances of being caught still exist, and therefore still have power as a deterrent, given their completely random nature.

And speaking of random, I've heard people complain that it's insane for screeners to strip-search 80-year-old, wheelchair-bound white women when all the 9/11 hijackers were young Muslim men.

That's not insane, that's brilliant.

Why?

Because it makes the terrorists think we're completely batshit crazy. It's the Nuke the Moon strategy in microcosm

"Holy @$#%! They are nuking the moon! America has gone insane! I better go eat at McDonalds before they think I don’t like them."

[snip]

Now all other countries will be completely freaked out and never even dream of messing with us. They’ll say the name of America with hushed whispers and always praise us in public for fear of reprisal."

So basically what we have now is lunatic airport screeners running amok, leading terrorists to think, "Sure, I can get a nuke through the metal detectors, but they might beat the crap out of me and send me to Gitmo because they think my keychain is a WMD. Screw this! I'm going to go set fire to a bus in Paris instead!".

But don't worry about fires in Paris. They can always douse them with French wine. It's not like they can SELL the crap anymore, so they might as well do SOMETHING useful with it.

CRAP... I WAS AFRAID OF THIS... - updated 6pm

80's nostalgia is now a reality.

Coincidentally, I graduated in the year cited in the song's title.

I'm not old, I'm "classic".

[via Not As Good As I Once Was]

UPDATE 6PM - Bloggranddaughter Mrs_Who of House of Zathras has some more nightmarish 80's nostalgia for you, including the song that grated on my nerves more than any other except "Centerfold".

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

[new note - not previously posted]

If I was on trial in Cupid's court, I would plead guilty to all charges of loving you, praying for a life's sentence with you and no chance for parole.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[25 325]

As always, when looking between the amount you're paid and the amount you've actually earned, you'll find someone from the government with an arrogant little smirk on his face.

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) Who developed a serious slot-machine gambling problem?

3) What famous historical figure brought Bobo the stuffed bear to Europe?

4) What is the name of the Itchy & Scratchy cartoon where Scratchy finally gets his revenge?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

*NOW* I UNDERSTAND...

While visiting with Richmond of One for the Road on Saturday, I chatted a bit with her husband WxMan about college football.

First, some background. I'm not really a football fan. I'm a Brett Favre fan. I never watched football until I was really bored and channel-surfing one day (sometime in 1994, I believe) and just happened to pause on a Packers game while Brett was completely one of his insane gunslinger passes.

Watching got to be a habit after that.

Nowadays, I watch other pro football games, mostly because Beloved Wife TNT controls the remote (and guards it like a wildcat, I might add).

But college? Well, it was always sort of a mystery. I'd watch the Badgers if they were playing because I live in Wisconsin and it's mandatory, but... eh... I didn't really get the point.

Straight White Eric has mentioned to me that he loves college ball, but doesn't care much for pro.

Huh? That's just weird. But I didn't say so, because Eric's a Marine, and who am I to question someone who knows how to kill people?

Anyway, WxMan gave pretty much the same opinion. College = good, pro = shrug.

So I asked him about it, because I just couldn't imagine following all 100+ college teams.

He explained it in terms I could understand.

You see, he's doesn't follow EVERY team - he's got a couple favorites that he roots FOR, and a whole BUNCH of teams he roots against.

That... I can relate to.

Because when I have to watch a game that doesn't have Green & Gold in it, I simply decide which team has done more in the past to wrong the Pack, and then cheer on the other team.

Although God help me when the Vikings play the Bears.

THANKS... I NEEDED THAT...

I've been out of touch with the blog world for so long, it was beginning to feel as though I'd never be able to reconnect.

Fortunately, I had the opportunity on Saturday to do just that, as I was invited to a little get-together hostessed at the home of Richmond of One For the Road.

Once again, I was struck by that odd duality that comes with meeting bloggers in real life. I've met Richmond exactly twice in my life, yet the feeling was one of being in the company of a life-long friend. So easy and comfortable.

I was, of course, accompanied by Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite, who was in a particularly impish mood that day, picking on me mercilessly to the general amusement of all. I'll be generous and blame it on the wine, rather than the obvious fact that I'm fun to pick on.

Oddybobo of Boboblogger honored me by playing a personalized ringtone which featured my name - naturally, it was of a crude & tasteless sort. How well that woman knows me. Now if only I knew where to find that thing online. Help me out here, girl... what song was that a clip from?

Tammi of Tammi's World finally arrived after being distracted by a shiny object, causing her to miss an exit. When I gave her a welcoming hug, I couldn't help noticing that I only came up to her navel. I *thought* she looked particularly tall that day. Apparently she was wearing heels. It was kinda funny watching her have to duck to get through 8-foot doorways, though.

Richmond's husband WxMan was very good natured about having his home invaded on a college-football Saturday, and he gave me some insights into college football that I'll be discussing in a later post. Oh, and remind me to get his super-secret blog URL. Seems the boy likes boobies nearly as much as me.

Richmond's two girls and Oddy's boy were also in attendance, but with the exception of a few high energy run-bys, and some piano-plinking, they mostly let the grown-ups play by themselves.

Richmond's parents were there, and - having now met Richmond's mother (who I at first assumed was her sister), I can see where she gets her good looks.

Richmond's dad surprised me. It's not often that I meet someone who knows what blogging is, has some interest in it, yet doesn't have one himself. I suspect that if he spends enough time hanging around the crew he met on Saturday, he'll start dropping comments, and pretty soon Richmond's gonna have herself a blogson.

If there's a pool, I'm picking January 10th, 2007 for his "born on" date.

Of course, earlier would be better. He's got that "blogger shine" in his eyes, and I think he'd do well. Hopefully he'll read this post & mull it over.

Meanwhile, as we waited for That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom to show up, I feasted on pretty much everything in this post. And I finished off that lonely-looking piece of pumpkin pie, too. Not to mention another one.

Of course, T1G never showed. He just called on the phone. Some lame-ass excuse about being 1100 miles away in Florida. Sheesh! The boy's just got no dedication. However, I do hope he'll be returning this year yet, preferably without that hippy haircut he had last time I saw him. His damn mop was nearly long enough to comb.

Just scandalous.

Anyway, the point is, I feel reconnected now, and it's nice to bask in the warmth. I'd forgotten what it was like.

I pray that such a dire absence never happens again.

Oh, and note to Oddybobo's mother: The Bad Example Family is NOT a cult...

Fun Facts About Oregon

While the IMAO podcast seems to be on haitus again, I'm still going to keep posting the latest uncut Fun Facts About The 50 States - hopefully on a weekly schedule.

This week, we'll be desperately pleading with grandpa not to change his will before his physician-assisted suicide appointment because we're headed to Oregon. So let's get started...

Oregon became the 33rd state on February 14th, 1859. Historians speculate that this date was chosen by then-president James Buchanan so that Mrs. Buchanan wouldn't notice that he neglected to get her a Valentine's Day present. Bloodstains on the family rolling pin provide evidence that his plan failed.

The capital of Oregon is Salem, which has nothing to do with witch-burning, despite claims to the contrary by members of the Oregon chapter of Recovered Newts Anonymous.

The state flower of Oregon is the Oregon grape, whose fruit is said to rival that of the greatest French vineyards, even though Oregonian wine lacks the cowardly and annoying bouquet of its French competitors.

Oregon license plates come in a variety of colorful designs, but all contain the phrase "Where Old Hippies Come To Die".

Oregon is nicknamed "The Beaver State". For you city-folk, a beaver is a smelly, hairy, bucktoothed animal with a wide, flat tail. Sorta like a feminist, except less prone to rabid frothing.

Oregon has more ghost towns than any other state. However, please note that moving to one of them will NOT increase your chances of scoring with Patrick Swayze.

Which could be either a bug or a feature, depending on which way you swing.

Oregon's Columbia River Gorge is considered by many to offer the world's best windsurfing. Of course, those "many" are mostly people who think it's funny to watch windsurfers crash into rocks.

Oregon's Crater Lake is the deepest lake in America. The bottom reaches all the way to Hell, and will become the source of the eternally leaky roof used to torture Bob Villa after he dies.

Like New Jersey, Oregon has no self-serve gas stations. The idea is to provide jobs for folks who aren't quite bright enough to master the phrase "fries with that?" and other people who vote Democrat.

The Coast Douglas Fir - at 329 feet - was the tallest tree in the state until it was cut down to make "Save the Spotted Owl" flyers for the Sierra Club.

Oregon's state nut is the Hazelnut. Oregon is the only state with an official state nut, since Michigan's Michael Moore is technically classified as a "lunatic".

The town of Boring, Oregon, was named for its founder, W.H. Boring, and NOT because the town's only TV station shows nothing but reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond.

The world's largest sea-cave is located near Florence, Oregon, and is populated mostly by round-bellied sharks and shredded wetsuits.

Oregon's Heceta Head Lighthouse is the most photographed lighthouse in the nation, due in large part to its scenic quaintness. At least according to its 36-24-36 nudist lighthouse keeper.

Eugene, Oregon is rated the best cycling community in the US by "Cycling Magazine". It's also the nation's top consumer of "Lance Armstrong Brand Undetectable Injectable Testosterone".

There are nine lighthouses still standing along the Oregon coastline. Five are still in use, the other four were sold as advertising space for Viagra.

The Columbia Gorge Interpretive Center contains the world's largest collection of rosaries, although not quite enough to keep Ted Kennedy from going to Hell, where he'll share a house with Bob Villa.

The Seaside Aquarium was the first to successfully breed harbor seals in captivity. They credit their success to cheap wine and Barry White CD's.

Salem's capitol building is topped by a statue titled "Oregon Pioneer", which features a drunken French-Candadian fur-trader in the midst of hollering "Where do you guys keep the beaver around here?".

Oregon has the only state flag with different designs on each side. The back of the Oregon flag features a beaver, which would appear to answer the Oregon Pioneer's question.

The International Museum of Carousel Art in Hood River, Oregon contains the world's largest collection of carousel horses and is known to the locals as the "Wooden Glue Factory".

Every house in Bickelton, Oregon has a bluebird house built onto it. It's as though Hitchcock filmed "The Birds" in Stepford.

The origins of Oregon's name are shrouded in mystery, although the most popular theory is that it was derived from an incident during the Lewis & Clark expedition where they lost a canoe paddle on the Columbia river.

Which would also explain Oregon's other nickname - "the bad pun state".

Eugene, Oregon was the first city in the US to have one way streets, effectively halving the number of times motorists get harrassed by the same squeegee guy.

The state motto of Oregon is "Alis Volat Propiis" - Latin for "Canada's THAT way, ya draft-dodging hippie".

Oregon's state fish is the Chinook Salmon, which is on the verge of extinction, since it's not cute & fluffy enough for environmentalists to give a crap about.

Portland, Oregon, is home to the International Rose Test Garden, where researchers recently developed a Super Rose, beautiful enough to buy forgiveness for a 3 a.m. stumbling-drunk return from a strip club.

Tillamook is the site of Oregon's largest cheese factory and, coincidentally, Oregon's largest mouse-trap factory.

At 8000 feet deep, Hell's Canyon is the deepest river gorge in North America. A scale model of it can be seen by observing the trickle of sweat continuously running along the bottom of one of Michael Moore's belly-folds.

---

That wraps up the Oregon edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we'll be suckered into paying $100 for a "genuine" piece of Ben Franklin's kite as we visit Pennsylvania.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go out and buy me a Super Rose

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

I love you
Because the Earth turns
Round the sun
Because the North wind
Blows North sometimes
Because the Pope is Catholic
And most Rabbis Jewish
Because winters flow into springs
And the air clears after a storm
Because only my love for you
Despite the charms of gravity
Keeps me from falling off this Earth
Into another dimension

I love you
Because it is the natural order of things

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(beard, moustache, eyebrows & hair drawn on Washington)]

As a follow-up to the popular State Quarters Program, the Treasury released the first in the series of "Alcoholic Beverage Mascot Dollars", featuring Captain Morgan. Coming soon: The Budweiser Frogs and Spuds McKenzie.

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) What animal does Bart bring to Australia?

3) According to Homer, what gets out the unpleasant aftertaste of church?

4) What TV sport odds-maker is right 52% of the time?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

I cannot exist without you
I am forgetful of everything but seeing you again
My life seems to stop there
I see no further.
You have absorbed me.
I have a sensation at the present moment as though I were dissolving
I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for religion
I have shuddered at it
I shudder no more
I could be martyred for my religion
Love is my religion
I could die for that
I could die for you
My creed is love, and you are its only tenet
You have ravished me away by a power I cannot resist.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Thanks again I'm a millionaire]

Technically a true statement if you use "Enron accounting".

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) Who is the foreign-exchange student that comes to live with the Simpsons?

3) Where is the foreign-exchange student from that comes to stay with the Simpsons?

4) Who does Bart live with when he is a foreign-exchange student?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

I swore to myself
It wouldn’t happen again
I vowed to myself
That this was the end.
The end of this longing,
This yearning so strong.
I said I was over you,
But oh, I was wrong.
Now here it is again,
Quite a while later.
And my love for you
Is now even greater.
I spend all my time
Thinking of you,
I’m in love with you again
And there’s nothing I can do.

NOTE: I first started dating the woman who would one day become my Beloved Wife shortly after I joined the Navy in 1986. In the 12 years that followed, we broke up & got back together at least half a dozen times. Our love continually oscillated between ember and inferno. Eventually, however, we realized how much we meant to each other, and after one particularly romantic evening in 1998, we caught fire in a way that would shame the sun. We were married less than a year later, and have been blazing ever since.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Hello! Hi? How R U? {heart}]

Yet another closing time approaches at Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon, as desperate women begin to vie for the Bartender's attention via his tipjar.

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) How does Bart get an elephant?

3) In "Bart Gets An Elephant", who else besides Homer gets pulled out of the tar pits?

4) What kind of collectibles does Selma like?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Alone I dare not climb.
With you I reach new heights.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(missing 7th digit in serial number)]

Treasury printer operator famous last words:
"Well, I got MOST of the serial number on there, that's good enough. What're they gonna do about it? Fire me? HA! I'm union!"

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) When Burns sells his power plant, he sells it to businessmen from what country?

3) In "Treehouse of Horror II", Bart turns Homer into what?

4) What is the name of Rev. Lovejoy's and Rabbi Krustofski's radio show?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Who's Smarter? College Students or Soldiers Stuck in Iraq?

(cross-posted from IMAO)

You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.

~ John Kerry

Since John Kerry's job (besides being the absentee senator from Massachusetts) is to make boxes of rocks look like Stephen Hawking, I thought I should point out that he may be mistaken, as shown by these:

10) In Iraq, "fries with that" is the answer to the question "what does a soldier do with a flamethrower?".

9) Camels smell better and make more sense than anti-war protesters.

8) During any given exam, answering "empty the clip" will always get you at least partial credit.

7) Full credit for adding "...and then reload".

6) Sometimes you're actually ENCOURAGED to crash your Hummer into things.

5) MREs are tastier, cheaper, and more filling than Ramen noodles.

4) You can drink fancy bottled water without exuding that snooty and slightly effeminate Ivy-league frat-boy air.

3) Blowing s*** up gets you a medal, not double secret probation.

2) You're over 6000 miles away from John Kerry.

1) They actually PAY you to blow s*** up.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Through all the shadows of doubt, there is one thing I know for certain: I can't live without you.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Revolt for the legalization of marijuana you alcohol guzzling, tobacco smoking hypocrites who do more harm over stupid jock ball in one day than pot can in a hundred years!! Freedom of choice? Where?]

But as usual, before the revolution got underway, the conspirators were randomly distracted by a Pink Floyd CD and a bag of Oreo cookies.

TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA

(Introduction)

2) What is the name of Homer's Bowling Team

3) The Simpson's are inducted into which religious cult?

4) In "Mom & Pop Art", who keeps stealing things?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

IT'S A GIRL!

Bloggranddaughter Irishpixie of Pixie Dust Productions, Inc. has been quite productive, indeed, as she has brought forth into this world a blogdaughter:

GiGi of GiGi's View of the World

Let's peer into the virtual bassinet, shall we?:

Traditional sucky first post... well, I guess GiGi's not a traditionalist. She went with some substantive reflection on giving advice to your children.

What to do with a bad doctor?... maybe strap him to a table and start prodding him with a speculum?

GiGi admits to being puzzled by the weirdly-knotted branches of her part of the Bad Example Family Tree. Wait until she gets a gander at the whole thing...

A little bit about her - Germany, cooking, art, the pooping of her grandson...

Someone needs to tag her with a meme to get her out of her shell.

Pumpkin carving! - Is there anything more heart-warming than gourd-related mayhem & mutilation?

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

ABOUT THAT RUT

Blogson Mike the Marine of From The Halls To The Shores commented:

I hope you've got a good excuse for getting into the "three post rut." -Simpsons, Currency, Love. Repeat.

Conveniently, I do.

As mentioned previously, Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite is the Personal Representative for her late mother's estate, and I've been helping her get things in order.

"Things" meaning mostly cleaning up a house packed with 30 years of accumulated crap, and maintained with some iffy housekeeping & home repair skills. Probably not the WORST maintained home I've ever seen, but anyone who's ever moved after a long stay knows how neglected certain areas can get, and what an effort it can be to get them looking nice again.

The major issue being that we needed to get the house shined up & ready for sale before snow season.

The good news is, we finally finished last week. It's just a matter of getting the house sold now.

Of course, there's still the issue of finding space for all the crap we hauled back to our house - currently packed into boxes crowding all over the living room floor. That'll be eating up time at random intervals.

And we still have to get the leaves raked at the estate house.

Aside from that, though, I should be able to dedicate more time to blogging at Bad Example. I closed down Alliance HQ and Forward This Email, so I'm down to just posting here and at IMAO.

Of course, I'm still working on the Love Notes book, too. I've gotten all 365 notes written, but there's editing & polishing to do.

So, in theory, I should get caught up on my posting this week or next, and be able to post more than just "the rutting three" thereafter. Plus I'll be able to start reading through my blogroll again.

Meanwhile I figured that having three crummy posts a day was better than posting nothing at all.

We'll see how it goes from here.