December 31, 2006
Caption This
(cross-posted from IMAO)
I'm thinking:
"Does this noose make me look fat?"
or
"I'll give 'em credit for trying, but the Iraqi version of the Village People just seems to be missing that flamboyant spark... possibly because it's so hard to arm-spell Y-M-C-A in Arabic."
Justice!
(cross-posted from IMAO)
Saddam Hussein has FINALLY been executed for "crimes against humanity". But what exactly were those crimes?
I have a list:
* Being the source of those annoying "XXX hot amateur camel action!" spam e-mails. That stuff is only XX, at best.
* Deliberately refusing to cooperate with UN resolutions, thus giving the UN unwarranted credibility by acknowledging its existence.
* Saying what the crazy voices inside his head told him to without giving them proper credit - plagiarism is WRONG, people!
* Capitalizing the "i" in iPod.
* Attempting to acquire nuclear weapons without having poofy hair.
* Forcing all women to wear burkhas instead of just the ugly ones.
* Running over puppies with his Segway.
* Killing his political enemies and throwing them in mass graves in CLEAR violation of Iraq's recycling laws.
* Jar-Jar was originally Saddam's idea.
* As was the Star Wars Holiday Special.
Let me know if I missed any. See better examples »
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
Thank you for teaching my heart to dance among the stars.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[200]
Maximum number of words required to describe the history of the universe.
See better examples »TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ
Here's how it goes.
The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.
The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.
I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.
Good luck.
1) When I penetrate, I'm boring.
(see extended entry for more clues)
Get the whole bad example » See better examples »December 30, 2006
A LITTLE OFF THE TOP, PLEASE
Straight White Eric is complaining about his shaggy head, which got me to thinking about a question for the fellas:
Barber or hair salon?
I'll put in two votes for the barber right away.
See better examples »I STAND CORRECTED
Rachel of Pereiraville took offense to my recent post wherein I said that piano music is boring, so she went and posted a video of her playing piano to prove me wrong.
Of course, she cheated & played Mozart, who - by definition - can't be boring.
Let's see her try to keep me from nodding off while she plays Bach :-P
See better examples »TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
You are so easy to love because
We have so much in common
Yet even our differences
Do not conflict, but complement
Like lock and key
Our souls fit
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[(Washington with rabbit ears)]
As a follow up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury announced that production has begun on the new "Things that look like a rabbit but aren't" series. First up: "Steve Martin". Coming soon: "Daffy Duck", and "That 1 Guy".
See better examples »TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ
Here's how it goes.
The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.
The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.
I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.
Good luck.
1) I'm long and hard, even when I'm cold.
(see extended entry for more clues)
Get the whole bad example » See better examples »December 29, 2006
BEDROOM OUTFITS
Blogson Andrew of Custos Honor asks:
"when it comes to acts in the bedroom (or elsewhere as the case sometimes is) which is better: lingerie, or just bein' naked from the getgo?"
I vote for naked.
Lingerie is just another darn thing I have to fling across the room in a fit of passion.
See better examples »TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
But to see her was to love her, love but her, and love her forever.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[(rubber stamp: lion head)]
Souvenir of "Holy Crap. Lions! Tours"
See better examples »TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ
Here's how it goes.
The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.
The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.
I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.
Good luck.
1) I'm discharged by professionals.
(see extended entry for more clues)
Get the whole bad example » See better examples »December 28, 2006
YEAH, THIS IS *TOTALLY* ME
 | My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Duke Harvey the Foamy of Studley Roger Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title |
[Hat tip: bloggreatgranddaughter GiGi of GiGi's View of the World]
See better examples »TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
...How did I ever end up with you? I think fate must have gambled with destiny and I won. I didn't have to question my love when we first met, my heart already knew. I think that I must have lived an entire lifetime in the moments that I was waiting for you. I do not know what the future holds for us, but I trust you to take me where you want it to go. Wherever you lead, I'll follow. I don't regret one thing that has happened in my past. Every road I went down was one I had to take to get me to you...
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[(blue spot by Washington's head)]
Old habits die hard, and even decades after retiring from the Army, Washington would still frequently turn the air blue with his cursing.
See better examples »TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ
Here's how it goes.
The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.
The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.
I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.
Good luck.
1) I can be found in the crotch between two limbs.
(see extended entry for more clues)
Get the whole bad example » See better examples »December 27, 2006
NON-CRAP ART
In a post mulling over Christ, Christianity, and Christmas, Bloggranddaughter Mrs_Who of House of Zathras makes this observation:
Some of the greatest artwork of mankind was inspired by the Christian faith (Michelangelo, Raphael, Fra Angelico, and so on.) What kind of artwork do we have today, where Christianity is mocked? Crap. Crap. Crap. And oh yeah, a crucifix in urine, but I won't link to that. That artist sounds like someone who can't get past his teen angst.
I'll agree with the first part. Those Renaissance guys had it goin' on.
Fortunately, I can partially disagree with the second part. There ARE still a few modern artists who don't do "modern art". They have talent, inspiration, optimism, and reverence for the human form.
Most of them can be found at the Quent Cordair Fine Art Gallery.
Dozens & dozens of joyous, life-affirming paintings and sculptures.
Here's just one of my many favorites, "Self-Made Man" by Bobbie Carlyle:
(click to enlarge)
Lots more at the Quent Cordair home page. Go browse around. I promise you'll come away feeling better.
Which is the effect art is SUPPOSED to have.
See better examples »TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
[hat tip to blogson _Jon of We Swear for this one]
Cold Feet
---------
Her feet are always so cold when she got into bed.
We play games using body parts to warm them up.
But some parts of her body are always hot.
Not just in bed.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[(rubber stamp: MUTILATED)]
As a follow-up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury introduced the first in the new series of "Truth As Handled By The MSM" dollars. Coming soon: "Twisted", "Stretched" and "Ignored".
See better examples »TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ
Here's how it goes.
The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.
The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.
I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.
Good luck.
1) Men come to me to blow their wads.
(see extended entry for more clues)
Get the whole bad example » See better examples »December 26, 2006
GET YOUR STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL - FAST!
Go to YouTube and search for Star Wars Holiday Special. Someone currently has it loaded in 10 parts (see the "Related" section at the site for the other parts). You can download them via KeepVid, if you want.
Better hurry. Lucas has his stormtroopers looking for this stuff.
And while we're at it, let's not forget the Star Wars guys on The Muppet Show
No guarantee on how long those links will be good.
See better examples »YES, THE TOPIC OF THE FLAVOR OF HUMAN FLESH *DID* COME UP
...Which is just another reason not to go drinking at Hooters with Contagion of Miasmatic Review, That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom, and Richmond of One For The Road.
On the other hand, all the reasons TO do it kind of outweigh that, so all in all I recommend the experience.
And for those who aren't good at deciphering Contagion's neologisms:
Alcoholic + whore + Scrooge + Grinch = Alcowhoric Scrinch.
By the way, did anyone else know that Og of Neaderpundit has mouse-hover descriptions on his blogroll links?
Mine is 100% accurate... I'm a pretty darn sensitive guy.
See better examples »UNDERRATED
Piano music is boring.
Christmas carols are boring.
However, Beth of She Who Will Be Obeyed posted a 9 minute video of a Christmas carol played on a piano, and it's the most unboring thing I've ever seen/heard in my life.
"Carol of the Bells" as played by Brian Brink.
Despite how jaw-droppingly awe-striking this man is, he's DAMN tough to Google.
I found his "official web site" which is just a piece of flash animation and his contact info.
This PureVolume.com page, with one song and a few pictures.
And his MySpace page with 3 of his songs.
Anyone who knows more about Brian, please let me know.
Or just leave a comment agreeing how completely freakin' awesome the guy is.
By the way, if anyone hires him for a "wedding or event", send me an invitation.
See better examples »TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
To the best of my knowledge, I don't believe I've told you lately about the thrill I feel when our lips meet. Chills run down my spine, electricity fills the air, and I am paralyzed, for just an instant, while my heart catches up to the emotional overload my brain feels. Then comes the warmth, and the rush of passion fills the air while I see clouds explode into broadening, deafening sunlight. I then melt, deep into the arms of my love, my friend, my companion, my everything. You are my perfect angel. I love you so deeply...
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[(rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]
Which I mixed with slacked lime and chicken excrement and sold to the people of Turkmenistan as a substitute for nas.
See better examples »TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ - INTRODUCTION
I need something to replace the now-finished Simpson Trivia series.
Well, while rooting around in the basement, I stumbled across a game called "Dirty Minds", and I'll be posting from the "puzzle books" until I run out.
Here's how it goes.
The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.
The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.
I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.
Good luck.
1) I'm a four-letter word that ends in "I-T".
(see extended entry for more clues)
Get the whole bad example » See better examples »December 25, 2006
BECAUSE I DON'T DO ENOUGH FARTBLOGGING
Here's a nice video of one caught on infrared.
Which reminds me... do farts leave a cloud of steam on cold days?
[Hat tip: Blogson Madfish Willie]
See better examples »TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
Everything I do and everything I see
Is more beautiful and wonderful because of my love for you.
When you smile, your eyes of warmest brown,
Light up like a cool summer's night.
Sending shivers over my body much to my delight.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[Ray 204]
From the "IMAO Space Laser Instruction Book, Chapter 10: The 250 Settings of S.M.I.T.E."
Ray 204 - causes a dark patch to form on the front of a hippie's pants, resulting in much pointing and laughing from non-stupid protest bystanders."
See better examples »SIMPSON TRIVIA: THE FINAL CUT
1) (T/F) Harveyville is the town right next to Springfield [seriously, it says Harveyville on the card]
2) What is the name of Patty & Selma's iguana?
3) Where do Bart(with his fake ID), Nelson, Martin, and Milhouse go for Spring Break?
4) What two children save Itchy & Scratchy studios?
NOTE: As mentioned in the introductory post, all the Simpsons Trivia questions came from the Simpsons Trivia Game. Well, I've gone through ALL the cards now, so the game is over.
So... who's the winner?
YOU!... Because you don't have to put up with Simpson Trivia posts any more.
Unless you actually LIKED the Simpson Trivia posts, in which case their discontinuance means the terrorists have won.
See better examples »December 24, 2006
POSTING A TANGENTIAL THOUGHT
Here's an out-of-context quote from Humble Devildog's grudging completion of the Christmas Meme at Random Firings of Neurons:
"Which is your favorite screwdriver, a #2 Phillips head, or a #2 slot head?"
Why, a #2 slot, of course!
Ever try opening a paint can with a #2 Phillips?
See better examples »LOOK! A CONTEST WITH FREE STUFF!
Jim of bRight and Early is the operator of the Blogiversary Database. Essentially he's keeping track of which blogs started when.
I think it's a cool idea, and I've had his little javascript thingy in my left sidebar (just below the quotes section) for some time.
The trouble is, unless you opt in by signing up, your blog won't be listed, and no one will know it's your blogiversary without you dropping some hints (like posting "it's my blogiversary tomorrow!", which makes you look like a gift-grubbing, attention-seeking little gold-digger... not that there's anything wrong with that).
To encourage participation (and hopefully hit his goal of 200 participants by year's end), he's holding a little contest which will include drawings for prizes from the pool of entrants.
Three ways to enter:
Enter your info into the Blogiversary Database: Win a free one week blogad.
Display the Blogiversary Database code on your blog: Win a free two week blogad.
Write a post pimping the Blogiversary Database: Win a free one month blogad.
Obviously, I decided to enter all three.
Anyway, all the pertinent details can be found here.
I strongly encourage Bad Example Family and Clan members to sign up, since I tend to only make it through my blogroll once a week, and this will help me to congratulate you in a timely manner on your big day.
See better examples »AND THE PRIZE FOR THE WORST HIP-HUGGERS GOES TO...
The girl in the yellow top (about 12 seconds in).
[Hat tip to blogson Madfish Willie, who sent me some Christmas cleavage]
See better examples »I CAN SYMPATHIZE
In 1994, I noticed that Blues Traveller's "Hook" was the single most blatant rip-off of Pachelbel's Canon in D Major ever written. I told a co-worker... he didn't believe me, even when I played both songs one after the other.
I've read Lynn of A Sweet Familiar Dissonance lamenting that no one knows where "Christmas Canon" comes from.
I've seen the Taco Bell Canon video.
So, yeah, I know what Rob Paravonian is talking about when he says that you're not being paranoid if you think Pachelbel's following you.
Know the truth.
You're being followed...
See better examples »TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
The daylight faded into darkness and still he sat, waiting patiently for her to wake. He studied the line of her body as she lay sleeping, the curve of her hip and shoulder, the soft rounding of her back. She was such a tiny thing, just a little bit of flesh and bone beneath the coverings, the smallest spark of life. He marveled at the texture of her skin, at the coloring, the absence of flaws. She might have been molded by some great artist whose reflection and skill had created a once-and-only masterpiece...
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[NO ONION NO RELISH]
The new McCain Feingold bill will forbid the sale of certain hot dog toppings within 30 days of a general election, thus reducing the political influence of Big Onion and Big Pickle.
See better examples »TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA
1) (T/F) Fusion Dude is Radioactive Man's boy sidekick
2) Which character died by getting hit with T-shirts
3) In "You Only Move Twice", which bridge does Hank Scorpio destroy?
4) According to the Springfield town charter, who gets food that falls to the ground?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.
See better examples »December 23, 2006
WORD OF WARNING
I got bored.
So I went surfing via randomwwebsite.com
Which was boring.
Mostly corporate crap sites & 404 pages.
But eventually I found a moderately non-boring site, and an intriguing picture that could probably be titled "My First Teddy" (work safe, but hard to explain)
Advice to the young ladies:
Now matter HOW vehemently he promises that your intimate picture will NOT be posted on the internet - he's lying.
See better examples »TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
Emptiness is filled with richness and reward
Promises are kept as into forever we voyage
What was once storm-tossed now is serene
Love shared awakens new beginnings
Forever doesn't seem long enough
Vows are made, yearnings are fulfilled
Passion and tenderness envelops us
We feel the warmth of souls united
Forever doesn't seem long enough
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
Check it out. I think I found the Associated Press's "Journalistic Integrity"
Or it might be Reuters'... it's hard to tell.
See better examples »TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA
1) What famous movie and television star did Selma marry?
2) Which Simpson quit when they had their own variety show?
3) What is Jimbo Jones' real first name?
4) What brand of high-priced suit does Marge buy at a discount fashion store?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.
See better examples »December 22, 2006
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
When I am with you, and hugging you, time stops and I leave this earth and I am in heaven.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[From: The Crows]
With his scarecrow finally perfected, Brian eventually quit farming altogether and simply lived off the protection money he collected.
See better examples »TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA
1) (T/F) Milhouse is Bart's best friend
2) What is Homer's middle name?
3) What color is the Simpson's matching refrigerator and stove?
4) What band played the Simpsons theme in "Homerpalooza"?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.
See better examples »December 21, 2006
MEMEY CHRISTMAS
Looks like blogdaughter Teresa of Technicalities is trying to lose her "Daddy's Favorite" title, because she tagged me with a meme.
Nevertheless, since the obligations of parenthood don't end with birth, I must comply:
UPDATE: Looks like Richmond of One For The Road tagged me with this, too
*puts Richmond on Naughty List*
1.Wrapping paper or gift bags? Duct tape and grocery bags, i.e. "guy wrapping".
2.Real tree or artificial? Artificial - there's something comforting in the ritual of setting up the same tree every year.
3.When do you put up the tree? Sometime between Thanksgiving & early December.
4.When do you take the tree down? Early January.
5.Do you like eggnog? ANYTHING is good with enough booze in it.
6.Favorite gift you received as a child? A slot car racing set.
7.Do you have a nativity scene? No.
8.Hardest person to buy for? Beloved Wife. Someday I'll remember to take notes on those little hints she drops all year.
9.Easiest person to buy for? Brother Tom. Anything computer-related is good.
10.Mail or email Christmas cards? Possibly e-mail. Usually I don't even bother with that. Either I care about you enough to contact you more than once a year, or I don't care about you at all.
11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received? The Peanut Butter & Jelly board game. I don't think I even played it once.
12.Favorite Christmas movie? The Nightmare Before Christmas.
13.When do you start shopping? Mid-December.
14.Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No. I just throw them away.
15.Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Marshmallow Fluff fudge. Dad only made it once a year. Wish he didn't always put walnuts in it.
16.Clear lights or colored on the tree? Colored. And blinking.
17.Favorite Christmas song? "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas", sung low and slow by a female vocalist who keeps her vocals understated. Definitely NOT the James Taylor version with that crappy line about "muddling through".
18.Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home.
19.Can you name all of Santa’s Reindeers? Sure: Dasher, Dancer ... Prancer ... Nixon, Comet, Cupid ... Donna Dixon
20.Angel on the tree top or a star? Our angel always shedded feathers. I never liked her. So... star.
21.Open the presents on Christmas Eve or morning? Morning - and we had to wait until after everyone finished breakfast.
22.Most annoying thing about this time of year? Needing to shop for urgent, non-Christmas items at a big box store.
23.Do you have Jebus in your heart this Christmas? I'll see him at Hooters tomorrow. Does that count?
24.What would you like for Christmas? To wake up next to Beloved Wife in the morning, and fall asleep next to her that night.
Next victims:
Let's see... who hasn't posted anything in a while?...:
Sarah of That's Not Very Nice!
Titan of Titan's Lair
TRS of The Rumsfeld Strangler
Linus of Pepper of the Earth
Humble Devildog of Random Firings of Neurons
See better examples »TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
No matter what happens. You should know in your heart, my love lasts and never leaves.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge - HUGE picture)
[(numerous John Kerry-themed jokes)]
One of many proposed "blind-friendly" currency designs, the new three dollar bill would play the French National Anthem when squeezed.
See better examples »TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA
1) (T/F) A bird house was in the Christmas tree Homer stole for his family
2) What is the name of Bart's favorite science-fiction/horror film series?
3) When Homer bet on Santa's Little Helper at the dog races, which dog actually won?
4) In Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire", who is Barney's date at the dog races?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.
See better examples »December 20, 2006
BLOGGERS IN VEGAS
Have you heard about this yet?
The first and only tradeshow, conference, and media event dedicated to promoting the dynamic industry of blogging and new media. If you are currently blogging, vlogging, podcasting, producing some other form of new media content, thinking about joining the exciting industry of new media or just want to know what this whole blogging phenomena is all about then you need to be at BlogWorld.The inaugural event will take place in Las Vegas November 8th and 9th [2007] at the Las Vegas Convention Center with an exclusive corporate only conference November 7th.
Just a couple blocks east of the north end of the Strip.
I haven't really thought about going, myself, since I'm just a small-time, for-fun blogger.
On the other hand, Vegas in November sure beats Wisconsin in November.
Have to keep an ear out for the buzz as the day draws closer.
See better examples »TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
Rains fall, winds blow, the sun shines... it all comes naturally, just like loving you.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[Debi's Lounge, Deer Park, Texas, 6963 Hwy 225, Deer Park TX 77536]
Check it out! On the back it says, "2 for 1 special on hummers from Toothless Tanya".
See better examples »TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA
1) (T/F) Moe hides Panda bears and a whale in his back room
2) (T/F) In "Secrets of a Successful Marriage", Marge kicks Homer out of the house for dancing with an exotic daner
3) When Abe whisks Marge's mom away from her wedding, it's a parody of what film?
4) In "Lady Bouvier's Lover", what does Bart buy from the Impulse Buying Network?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.
See better examples »December 19, 2006
BIGGEST ON EARTH - UPDATED 1-4-06
(A paid review)
Via ReviewMe.com, I've been asked to review the site/products/services offered by Biggest On Earth (www.biggestonearth.com - note: site owner does NOT recommend site for children under 13 except with direct parental supervision).
WHAT THEY DO
They offer you the opportunity to "officially" label yourself (or someone you love/hate) as the "officially" ranked best, worst, biggest, etc. something on Earth.
As proof of your status, you're mailed a fancy-looking certificate (suitable for framing) attesting to your status, plus your own customized URL where your certificate will be permanently displayed online for all the internet to see.
WHAT IT COSTS
Currently, $5, plus $1.25 shipping & handling, although the site's offering a "New Launch Special" of free shipping "until December 20th" - I'm not sure if that means you have a few hours left, or a day and a few hours. Biggest On Earth accepts MasterCard, Visa, American Express, and PayPal (PayPal payee listed as Purple Street - a Verified Business Member).
WHY WOULD YOU WANT THIS?
To quote the site:
You can use your award as a marketing hook for your business or maybe as an ice breaker during parties or gatherings. Link to your award's own URL from your blog. Get back at someone by nominating them for one of our "bad" awards. Put the URL you get for the award on your business card.[snip]
All awards are permanent and are entered into the "Biggest on Earth" database, accessible by all search engines and can never be changed. That person will always be associated with that award from now until the end of time. But be careful who you nominate...someone can nominate YOU for an award, too!
In other words, to show people you've got a playful sense of humor.
IS IT WORTH IT?
Let's face it - for $6.25 (or $5, if you hurry), you're NOT going to be able to buy anyone a good present. This one definitely falls into the "it's the thought that counts" category. So if your only goal is to let someone know you're thinking about them, I figure a Biggest On Earth award is at least as good as a box of crackers and a can of spray cheese. Might even last longer (although spray cheese is incredibly durable, so I could be wrong about this).
WHAT ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THE PRODUCT?
Unfortunately, time does not permit me to recieve a hard copy of the certificate prior to the posting of this review, but I'll update after I get it.
However, the Biggest On Earth home page has a "View Sample" link, as well as links to "Recently Bestowed Awards", so you can check those out to get an idea of what they look like. As far as I can tell - assuming the print & pixel versions of the certificate are similar - it's good enough for an "it's the thought" gift, or for personal ego-stroking.
For example, this "1st Biggest Breasted Woman on Earth" award.
WHAT I LIKED ABOUT THE SITE
Clean, simple, colorful layout that immediately lets you know it's a fun site. The graphics, and differently sized/colored fonts send the message clearly without detracting from the readability of the page. Visitors are immediately greeted with links for "Who?", "What?", "Why?", and "How?", as well as top-of-the-page links for "Privacy Policy" and "Contact". Links and buttons are obvious and intuitive. The order process is straightforward and uncomplicated.
IMPROVEMENTS I'D LIKE TO SEE SOON
Although I think Biggest On Earth is a great concept and frought with potential, I did notice what I'd consider some flaws in the actual execution. If this were MY baby, this is what I'd change:
A link to Dan Sherman's blog - The Biggest On Earth site says very little about the owner of this operation. As a new company, it's important to establish credibility and reassure new customers that this isn't an out-of-nowhere, fly-by-night thing. Dan's blog has been around since May of 2004. A simple link to the front page would be nice, so that people can find out who they're dealing with without Googling.
Better grammar - One given category is "Worse Blog". I really think that should be "Worst", so as to better match the other absolute adjectives, like "Biggest", "Best", "Happiest", "Cutest", etc. - Fixed, 12-20-06
Also, with "1st" awards, consider omitting the "1st", since phrases like "1st Best" are redundant. All you need is "Best" for those. However, for awards of "2nd Best", "3rd Best", etc., it works just fine.
Better layout on certificates - I don't know how to describe this, so I'll just show you:
The text below "(Wilsonville, OR)" should be on the same line, not a separate one.
I've only seen this problem on one certificate, and maybe the problem's been corrected by now, but Dan certainly shouldn't link that particular page as his official "View Sample" image. It leaves a bad (and possibly incorrect) impression. Fixed, 12-21-06
Alphabetized categories - The listing of available certificate categories can only be described as haphazard. I know that new categories are being added all the time, but they should still be in SOME semblance of order to make them more browsable by prospective customers.
Packaging description - How are these certificates shipped? Are they mailed in a crease-resistant cardboard flat, or are they folded up and put in an envelope?
IMPROVEMENTS I'D LIKE TO SEE DOWN THE ROAD
Live Preview - This one might require a consultation with Dan's local geek guru, but it'd be nice if, during the "preview" step of the shopping experience, the buyer were shown an "as it will appear" version of the certificate before having to commit to the purchase.
Here's one reason why: I just got my "69th Best Blog" certificate ordered, and while I was filling out the form, I wanted my site URL (www.badexample.mu.nu) to appear on the certificate. I hoped that by filling out the "city" part but not the "state", it would appear in parentheses on the certificate. Sadly, that trick doesn't work, but I didn't know that until afterwards.
Links to a page displaying all of the already-issued certificates in that category - For example, if I want to find out if the "69th Sexiest Man" certificate has already been taken, I can't tell just by looking at the listing on the front page. Perhaps those category names should be clickable links?
Requestable Categories - Personally, I'd like to have a "Best Blogdad On Earth" certificate, but I'm limited in selection to what's listed on the front page. If Dan wants to have control over the categories so as to avoid obscene ones, that's fine - no reason he'd HAVE to accept every suggestion. However, it'd be nice to have a "suggest a category" form right on the front page.
An FAQ page - It's common practice for business web sites to have one of these, and people pretty much expect it nowadays. I think there's plenty of material in this review to make a start on that.
Certificate Frames - WAY down the road... think about offering a selection of frames to put the certificate in.
SUMMARY
Biggest On Earth looks to be a site that offers a fun, light-hearted gift, best suited for teens and adults. A good way to let someone know that they're in you're thoughts.
Assuming customer service is of good quality (which I will report on in a few days), I think this is a good place to pick up a "for the person who has everything" gift.
Even if that person is just yourself.
UPDATE - Certificate web page is created immediately after paying using PayPal. I can't vouch for the other payment methods, but I would think it'd be the same.
UPDATE - "Recently Bestowed Awards" column on Biggest On Earth home page is NOT updated immediately to reflect my certificate purchase. I'll keep an eye on it to see when it gets listed.
UPDATE 12-20-06 7am - My certificate is now listed under "Recently Bestowed Awards".
Also, Dan responds to my wish lists in the comments.
UPDATE 1-4-06 - I blame the USPS and and the Christmas card writers of America for the delay, but I finally got my "69th Best Blog on Earth" certificate in the mail on December 31st. Looks just like the on-line version, except "Bad Example" and "69th Best Blog on Earth" are in red.
As a note on BOE's good customer service, I'll mention that I was sent another certificate a couple days earlier. However, Dan realized after he sent it that it contained an error, so he sent me a replacement at no charge.
UPDATE #2 1-4-06 - BOE has also changed its business model. It now offers a choice of a web-only certificate for $2, or a web version plus a hard copy for $8 (shipping is free).
See better examples »REVIEWME.COM - UPDATE
Although I've completed and been paid for one review, I had serious doubts as to whether I'd ever be chosen by an advertiser to do another one. This blog is fairly eclectic, and I just couldn't imagine a product that would be in tune with it.
Turns out I was wrong.
I received an offer to do a review on December 18th, and the advertiser who asked was actually a good fit for what this blog is about.
So, I guess it's true that there's someone out there for everyone.
I was just surprised they found me.
Pleasantly surprised.
WELL, I GUESS THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD EXCUSE FOR NOT BLOGGING
Blogson-in-law Alex of Alex in Wonderland mentions the trend toward bloggers becoming celebrities.
Fortunately, you'll see no bloated-ego pontificating, or mugging for the cameras at Bad Example. I never expect to rise above my status as a flea on the itchy butt of the blogosphere.
Unless some sort of graffiti-currency-related scandal breaks out, in which case you won't be able to throw a sneaker at a television without hitting my face.
Anyway, as for the title of this post - Alex has announced that his wife (and my blogdaughter) Sally of Whimsy Capricious (who REALLY needs to post something soon) is 4 months pregnant (with an actual child, not a blogspawn).
I'm predicting triplets, just to get Alex spun up.
See better examples »TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
Dreams are wishes... wants... desires
From the deepest corners of your heart.
But how do we fulfill our needs?
Where's the best place to start?
Is there an age that we must be?
Must a lesson have been learned?
Can just anyone fulfill their dreams?
Or must our dreams be earned?
If I could have my heart's desire,
It could easily come true.
To make mine a world of happiness,
All I'll ever want is you.
My dream is but a simple one,
Yet sometimes hard to acquire.
Just someone to give me sweet, sweet love
And fill my soul with fire.
But dreams can also show themselves,
And take you by surprise.
Consume your world with happiness,
Promising no goodbyes.
It suddenly appears
My dreams have come to life.
I'm living in my dream world
With you for all my life.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[(red circle around Lincoln's eye)]
Presidential Fun Fact:
In an attempt to capture the youth vote, Lincoln tried to boost his "hip & trendy" quotient with a flamboyant eyebrow piercing.
TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA
1) Who shot Mr. Burns?
2) In "Cape Feare", who wrote the note "I kill you scum" to Bart?
3) In "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington", who is the Patriotism editor of Reading Digest?
4) The cat Snowball I was run over by what brand of car?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.
See better examples »December 18, 2006
Fun Facts About South Dakota
While the IMAO podcast is still MIA, I'm going to keep posting the latest uncut Fun Facts About The 50 States - hopefully on a weekly schedule.
Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, Harvey, and - week by week - I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting - yet completely useless, and probably untrue - information about each of the 50 states.
This week, we'll be shocked to realize that no minorities actually live in the Black Hills and the name is just a scam to get Federal Affirmative Action Funding as we visit South Dakota. So let's get started...
South Dakota became the 40th state on November 2, 1889. The word "South" in the name is somewhat deceptive, since the state actually contains no hillbillies, alligators, or temperatures above freezing.
The state bird of South Dakota is the ring-necked pheasant. When hunting these, try not to shoot a ring-nosed teenager by mistake.
South Dakota's license plates have blue numbers on a white background and say "Bison: the other red meat" across the bottom.
The state motto of South Dakota is "When the Crazy Horse monument is finished, we'll TELL you... Now STOP ASKING!"
South Dakota's nickname is "The bored people with mountains and explosives state".
Although there's enough room for Bill Clinton on Mount Rushmore, he hasn't been added for fear that no one would recognize him without a kneeling intern.
Good luck trying to find a mountain big enough to fit Monica's hips on.
Lemmon, South Dakota is famous for it's petrified forest. Undisturbed for 50 million years, it still contains many of its original petrified environmental activist protesters.
When it was built in 1832, the American Fur Company's trading post in Fort Pierre, South Dakota, was the largest one in the US, and was best know for its marketing slogan "Fur: Because she's not going to put out for denim".
Belle Fourche, South Dakota, is the geographical center of the United States. It's populated mostly by people who find Mexicans, Canadians, Californians, and New Yorkers equally repulsive.
Personally, I'm thinking about moving to Greenland, since I'm only disgusted by the French and people from New Jersey.
Clark, South Dakota, is home to the world famous annual Mashed Potato Wrestling contest. Rumor has it that the contest is rigged, since the mashed potato always wins.
South Dakota's Custer State Park is home to a herd of 1500 free-roaming bison, 1448 of which must be cut from the roster by the time they play the Budweiser Clydesdales in this year's Superbowl commercial.
When completed, the Crazy Horse monument near Hill City, South Dakota, will be the world's largest sculpture. The project will be completed without a single dollar of government money, which explains why Crazy Horse isn't holding a urine-dipped crucifix.
South Dakota's Badlands National Park contains the worlds richest fossil bed, which holds such ancient artifacts as Tyrannosaurus skeletons, Triceratops eggs, and Beatles 45's.
The Sage Creek Wilderness Area is where the highly endangered black-footed ferret is being re-introduced. For those not familiar with ferrets, they're small mammals, more ratlike than weasels, but less weaselly than lawyers or the French.
South Dakota's famous Black Hills aren't actually black. They only appear that way from a distance because they're covered by pine trees - an effect similar to what happens when Rosie O'Donnell doesn't get her upper lip waxed for a couple days.
At 7242 feet, South Dakota's Harney Peak is the highest point in the US east of the Rockies, and will likely be carved into a statue of Wilt Chamberlain at some point.
Sturgis, South Dakota, is home to the annual Black Hills Classic Motorcycle Rally. It's easy to find - just look for the crowd of burly, leather-clad guys. Make sure it's not the Black Hills Classic S & M Rally, though.
Unless you're into that sort of thing. In which case... call me.
The Pioneer Auto Museum in Murdo, South Dakota, houses more than 250 rare automobiles, including the Tucker, the Edsel, and Powell Motors' infamous Homer.
The Flaming Fountain on South Dakota State Capitol Lake is fed by an artesian well with natural gas content so high that it can be lit. The sight inspires both awe and the question, "how do you put out burning water?"
The Crystal Springs Ranch Rodeo Arena in Clear Lake, South Dakota was built on a drained duck pond. When the duck pond was initially drained, workers found a dead rabbit at the bottom with a sign around its neck that said "I TOLD you it was wabbit season".
The Silent Guide Monument in Philip, South Dakota is a 14-foot pile of flat stones assembled by a shepherd to mark a waterhole that never goes dry. Ironically, the waterhole itself had been created years earilier by an architect as a way to mark an abundant source of flat stones.
The largest underground goldmine in the US is the Homestake Mine in Lead, South Dakota. Ground was first broken on it by the six dwarves who were voted out of CBS's "Survivor: Snow White's Cottage".
The USS South Dakota is recognized as the most decorated battleship during World War II. Although, the USS John Kerry actually won MORE medals, it threw them all over a fence, so it doesn't really count.
The Yankton Daily Press & Dakotan, first published in 1861, is South Dakota's oldest newspaper. It's first headline was the now-famous criticism of the Civil War: "Lincoln lied! Weevils died!"
The Prairie Rattlesnake is the only venomous snake native to South Dakota. It's generally a light brown color, with a yellow underside and four dark, presidential-head-shaped blotches on its back.
Hot Springs, South Dakota features the largest collection of Wooly Mammoth bones in the world. Wooly Mammoths were large, hairy beasts that killed their prey by sitting on it and crushing it into a pile of goo. Much as its modern-day cousin - the Michael Moore - hunts Twinkies today.
---
That wraps up the South Dakota edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we'll be stocking up on souvenier Elvis shades as we visit Tennessee.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go call and see if Crazy Horse is finished yet.
See better examples »TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
O happy hours when I may once more encircle within these arms the dearest object of my love - when I shall again feel the pressure of that "aching head" which will delight to recline upon my bosom, when I may again press to my heart which palpitates with the purest affection that loved one who has so long shared its undivided attention.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
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[DO NOT SPEND]
I'm going to bet this on the Packers when they play the Bears, which is technically an investment.
See better examples »TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA
1) Who says "Are you ready to get Duffed?"
2) Who is forced to walk down the street with his pants around his ankles for all to see?
3) Which immigrant in Springfield actually got deported once?
4) According to Grampa, he had to use the word "dickety" because the Kaiser stole what word?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.
See better examples »SHE ACTUALLY POSTED SOMETHING
3 somethings, actually, by Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite.
A funny video clip, fighting annexation, and Blogger's dumbass spellchecker.
See better examples »December 17, 2006
LOSS
Blogson Madfish Willie of Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon lost his mother on Sunday, December 10th.
She ran a blog for the San Antonio Polio Survivor's Association for several years, which is a great resource for those afflicted with the disease.
Pictures from the memorial service here.
IF YOU DIALED 911, COULD THEY FIND YOUR HOUSE?
As a worker in the food product delivery industry, my success depends heavily on being able to find the right street and the right house.
Streets are easy - I just look at a map and read the street sign.
The right house... that can get a little tricky. Sometimes I have to pass a house a couple times or even just *guess* if I can't see the house number.
Now, it's not a big deal if your pizza's two minutes later than it could've been.
But what if it's a cop or an ambulance that's trying to spot your domicile? Those two minutes might be a VERY big deal.
Do me a favor. Next time you come home at night, see if you can spot your house number, in the dark, while doing the speed limit on your road.
"But," you say, "that's not fair! If my house light were on, I'd be able to see my house number".
I giggle at that, because half the time, turning the porch light on actually makes it WORSE.
See, with most outside lights, when you turn them on, they'll cast cones of light to the sides, and cones of darkness to the top & bottom. And most outside lights are installed DIRECTLY ABOVE the house number, thus shrouding those numbers in shadow. Even worse, I can't see it even if I shine a flashlight on it, because my flashlight can't compete with the outside light.
Ok, so your house number's invisible. What should you do?
My suggestions, in order of preference:
1) If you have a mailbox by the side of the road, put large, reflective, stick-on numbers on BOTH sides of the box, so that they can easliy be seen by a car coming from EITHER direction.
If you have a flag on the side of your box, make sure it doesn't cover the numbers in either the up or down position.
DON'T put the numbers on the front of the box - by the time a driver sees it, he's already blown by your house & will have to turn around.
2) Put the numbers either just to the left, or just to the right of the door frame. This is the "standard" location for a house number.
3) Put the numbers IN the cone of light your porch light gives off. Be careful here, because if you use raised numbers, they can cast shadows that make them difficult to read.
So maybe now you're sitting there all smug because you have a house number next to your door frame.
Well, kudos to you, but during this happy, festive time of year, PLEASE make sure you don't accidentally cover it up with a wreath, or a raindeer, or a 6-foot inflatable snow globe. I see this (or DON'T see this, as the case may be) all too often. In fact, an errant wreath is what prompted this post.
In short, make sure that your house number is easy to spot under the worst of circumstances, because it may be under the worst of circumstances that you most need your house number to be spotted.
And your pizzas will get there hotter, too.
See better examples »TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
The Beauty that beholds me when I look upon you,
is like a tidal wave crashing down upon me,
both mesmerizing and stunning.
Warm and enveloping it is,
it brings ecstasy to know that it is mine.
How I wish to hold it,
to hold you, forever.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
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[(red squiggly lines)]
Personally, I see NO evidence that this district has been gerrymandered to ensure a Democratic safe seat.
See better examples »TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA
1) (T/F) Big Bob is the name of the traffic reporter that flies in a helicopter
2) What kind of poster can be seen in Lisa's room?
3) In the weekly opening sequence, who's walking a little dog?
4) What hangs on the front of Rev. Lovejoy's pulpit?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.
See better examples »December 16, 2006
TOO MUCH PC LEADS TO BAD SCRIPTING
Reading blogdaughter Teresa of Technicalities' post on the de-Christifying of Christmas, I was reminded of this:
Recently, I was watching "Days of our Lives" (don't ask), and on the show - while alone together - a woman wished her significant other "Happy Holidays".
Which is just f*cking insane.
The ONLY reason to use that bland, insipid phrase is when you're talking to a complete stranger, and you're concerned they might be secretly Jewish or Black and would take offense if you said "Merry Christmas".
Why the HELL would you say "Happy Holidays" to someone if you know which specific holiday they celebrate?
Enough of this.
Not only am I putting Christ back in Christmas, I'm sticking his mother in there, too.
MARY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!
See better examples »TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
All I need is my one star in the sky to wish for you every day.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
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[GEORGE SAYS - "WEED IS GOOD FOR YOU!"]
George also said, "Slavery is peachy", and "Women's sufferage is evil".
Two out of three ain't bad.
See better examples »TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA
1) Who is the school band instructor and music teacher?
2) What color is Ralph's belt buckle?
3) In the weekly opening sequence, what instruments are Sherri and Terri playing in the school band?
4) What did the Springfield Stadium used to be?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.
See better examples »December 15, 2006
ENEMIES LIST
The following people, items, and/or institutions must be destroyed:
1) The movie "Harvey"
2) Actor Harvey Weinstein
3) Harvey Industries, Inc., makers of windows and doors
4) Harvey Entertainment, Inc., makers of such pap and dreck as Casper The Friendly Ghost comics
5) Paul Harvey - "that nice midwestern man on the radio"
6) Harveys Lake Tahoe Hotel & Casino
7) Harvey Electronics, Inc.
Why?
No reason.
No reason at all.
See better examples »TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
I may not be totally perfect...
But parts of me are excellent!
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
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[(Rubber stamp: "<" and ">" on either side of portrait)]
In HTML, the <Washington> tag is used to prevent the British from accessing your web page.
See better examples »TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA
1) (T/F) Rex Banner comes to Springfield to rid the town of the Whiskey Wizard
2) What is the name of Kirk Van Houten's demo singing tape?
3) Who is Drederick Tatum's boxing manager?
4) Where do the Simpsons move to when Homer goes to work for Hank Scorpio?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.
See better examples »December 14, 2006
KEEPVID.COM
Due to the rising popularity of YouTube videos (and because a reader asked me about this), I think I need to mention KeepVid.com again. It's a web page that allows you to download videos from sites that only offer streaming (like YouTube, Google Video, iFilm, and others).
All you do is copy the link of the page with the video on it and paste it in the box on the left. Then select which streaming video page you got it from, using the drop-down menu on the right.
Click the "Download" button, and you'll be given a "Download Link" to click.
Click that, and there ya go. Now you've got the video on your hard drive.
One caveat. Sometimes you'll get multiple format options, sometimes only one - usually FLV (flash video format). You can get a free FLV player here, if you need one. Only about a 1 meg download. Link to the FLV player can also be found at Keepvid.com.
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
Love is a burning desire,
That makes your heart light on fire,
Love is being with you,
Someone saying I love you, too,
Love is your tender kiss,
Something you don't want to miss,
Love is you and me,
And that is all I see.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
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[(badly off-center serial numbers printing error)]
Shortly after Matty O'Blackfive was hired by the Treasury to print the serial numbers on $1 bills, the Bureau of Engraving and Printing instituted a "no Irish need apply" hiring policy.
See better examples »TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA
1) (T/F) Uter is the name of the German Foreign exchange student
2) What Japanese company logo is the combination of a fish and a light bulb?
3) Who said, "Moon pies! What a time to be alive!"
4) Who gets stabbed to death at the beginning of "Treehouse of Horror VIII"?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.
See better examples »December 13, 2006
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
I could stay awake, just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping,
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment I spend with you is a moment I treasure...
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
As a follow up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury announced that it would start issuing "State Governor Dollars". First up: New Jersey.
See better examples »TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA
1) (T/F) Bart's soap box racer was named Li'l Pathfinder
2) What was Martin's soap box racer named?
3) According to Moe, he cheats at what game?
4) In "I Married Marge", what comes free with a Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.
See better examples »December 12, 2006
IT'S A BOY!
Once again, the Bad Example Family tree experiences a dismal failure to branch, as I seem to have had a blogson in cooperation with my bloggrandaughter Mrs_Who of House of Zathras.
Please welcome Bitterroot of Friction and Harmony.
Amazingly, he's only got 10 fingers & 10 toes, so coming from a gene puddle instead of a gene pool doesn't seem to have hurt him any.
Let's see what else he's got:
Traditional sucky first post - Sheesh! Been blogging for 5 minutes and already threatens patricide. Have to check the diaper... he seems irritable. Maybe he just needs to be tagged with a meme.
Meanwhile, please notice the extended entry feature on this post.
The origin of names - both the pseudonym and the blog name. I have to admit, being a Packers fan, I can relate to panicky feelings about Bears.
Pegs the geek meter - by knowing more about .diz files than any normal human being ought. Keyword: normal.
By the way, I'll see your pole-dancing Lincolns and raise you a set of Viking Kittens.
A long and interesting story - which is mostly and excuse to post a link to a Dennis Leary video which I've never seen before, and which song will probably stick in your head for a while.
Accuses his wife of tattling - like he didn't see this coming.
Throwing cheetos at cheesecake - exploiting his wife's beauty for a little blog traffic. Has this man NO honor? Never see that sorta thing here at Bad Example.
Tech notes - Bitterroot could use some friends who know a bit about Wordpress. Which isn't me. I'm just there for the sexy wife pictures.
Anyway, Bitterroot, you can pick up a Bad Example Family logo from this post, and you may, if you wish, blogroll the rest of the Bad Example Family using the handy blogrolling javascript, although neither is a requirement.
Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.
Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.
Welcome home.
See better examples »TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
Last night, I looked up at the stars and matched each one with a reason why I love you. I was doing great until I ran out of stars.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
See better examples »TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
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[For a good time call 1-800-FUCK-ME]
Yeah, sure, I called the number.
But I hung up as soon as they answered "Skanky Granny's House O'Bondage".
See better examples »TODAY'S SIMPSON TRIVIA
1) (T/F) Former President George Bush of the United States moved across the street from the Simpsons
2) What's the name of Springfield's Italian chef?
3) At what store did Bart get caught for shoplifting a video game?
4) Who caught Bart shoplifting a video game?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.
See better examples »December 11, 2006
AN EXPERIMENT IN READER FEEDBACK
I don't know what to blog about today.
Any suggestions?
See better examples »
"Not to be out-done by the US Presidential Christmas tree, the Iraqis acquired a one-of-a-kind ornament."
The Humble Devildog exemplified on December 31, 2006 at 03:20 PM