MY 2 MINUTES HATE

According to the New York Times (if you need a login, go here), the hottest trend in bicycles is "fixed gear" bikes:

To begin with, it has no brakes, or at least no visible brakes, or possibly just a front brake. That means you can’t ride this bike very well on your first try, and certainly not very gracefully, easily or safely.

The rear cog is bolted directly to the hub, so that whenever the vehicle is in motion, the pedals go around, making coasting impossible. This bike doesn’t have a shift lever or extra sprockets, and the chain is shorter and wider than on traditional bikes.

There are no fenders, and the rear wheels are probably bolted onto the frame to deter theft. You slow down by reversing the pedals, or skidding, or doing a skip stop.

You retarded pretentious assholes.

This bike you're so turning-giddy-cartwheel happy about is the same piece of crap I had when I was a kid because my folks couldn't afford to get me a DECENT bike, so I got a 1950's hand-me-down with no gears, no handbrakes, and gay-looking handlebars that stuck straight out to the side.

Oh! How I longed for a 10-speed, with dual handbrakes, ram horns, and the ability to COAST without having to take my damn feet off the pedals.

You addle-brained, dog-humping, ungrateful luddites make me want to projectile vomit. I'll bet you traded in your 2Ghz Macs for f`cking Etch-A-Sketches, too.

I hope you and your hip-n-trendy back tattoos get run over because you couldn't pedal that clunky-ass inertia-monster fast enough to get out of the way of cross-traffic.

Suck-skulled neo-hippie morons.

GREAT ADVICE

On how to make your restraining order more effective from bloggranddaughter Mrs. Who of House of Zathras (whose first blogiversary is today):

A local gun shop owner affirmed that the restraining order is just a piece of paper. If we are set on a piece of paper, he recommended a different one. A silhouette target from the shooting range, with appropriate holes. Pin that on the front door. Message delivered.

CLEARING OUT THE BOOKMARKS

Delightful British humor taking a whack at goofy Islamic nutballs over at Grouchy Old Cripple.

Mean Mr. Mustard suggests that it's not that all Muslims aren't jihadi sympathizers, it's just that it's not yet to their advantage to say so out loud. They would if they could.

Physics Geek contemplates fixing the dents in his car with dry ice.

When The Smoke Clears has those annoying Mosquito Ringtones, so you can see how old & deaf you are.

Think it's easy to make fast food look photogenic? You're SO wrong.

That guy in your office who doesn't know how to replace the toner cartridge in the copier is NOT a complete moron, just lazy like a fox.

Possible habitable planet outside our solar system? Does the Free State Project know about this yet?

I've always thought Nintendo games were pretty lame, but for those who disagree, they're now available on line as Java apps.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Come closer... I want to whisper something in your ear that'll make you blush...

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[DREBZ]

Isn't she that short girl that goes to POBJFKHS?

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

WISH SOMEONE WOULD'VE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS

While idly checking my links on Technorati, I found out that I was nominated for the Blogger Halo Award for being a blogger:

"who has not only created a vital up-to-the minute blog with a sizable readership and dedication to excellence, but this blogger would have gone way beyond the call of duty by demonstrating a selfless commitment to help other bloggers solve their blogging problems."

Unfortunately, the voting ended January 8th, and I came in neither first nor second.

I totally could've whipped up 77 votes for this. I feel SO Al Gore.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Every morning, I turn to see the gentle glow of your hair as it's tenderly kissed by the morning sun. Then it's my turn.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Lauren]

This dollar bill is 75% full of crap.

(with apologies to Laurence Simon)

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

Still Not Allowing the Lion or the Wardrobe

(cross-posted from IMAO)

Witches, however, are now ok, as the US Department of Veterans Affairs has agreed to allow Wiccans who served in the US military to have a pentacle emblem engraved on their government-issued tombstones, thus bringing to 39 the number of religious symbols which are officially authorized on veterans' grave markers.

Other bizarre religious cult symbols, however, were rejected by the VA, and are shown below:

The decision regarding four more cult symbols is still pending, although personally I really hope these make the cut:

I'll let you know if any of these get selected.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Before I met you, my heart was a blank page. Now it's a page with the words "I love you" written all over it.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

Which I used to make the tubing for my Crowostomy Bag.

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

YUP, PRETTY MUCH

Kevin of Eckernet asked himself "What would an online presidential debate look like?", and then proceeded to answer himself. I found it amusing, so I thought I'd share:

** Hi11ary has joined chatroom **
** McCain has joined chatroom **
** BaRock! has joined chatroom **
** Da Mayor has joined chatroom **
** MiTT has joined chatroom **
** 4Honey has joined chatroom **
Hi11ary : Waz up Homies?
Da Mayor : Heh
4Honey : What up girlfriend?
MiTT : WTF? Who is 4Honey?
McCain : 4Honey, ASL???
4Honey : 53, Male, North Carolina
Hi11ary : Is that Edwards?!??
4Honey : :-)))))))
BaRock! : D00d u r SO gay
McCain : LOL!
MiTT : ROFL!!
Da Mayor : Not that there is anything wrong with that
Hi11ary : ROFLMAO!
4Honey : STFU Noob!! You’re gay!
BaRock! : LOL ooooh burn!
4Honey : Heh, at least my initials aren’t BO!
McCain : Lame!
MiTT : Seriously. Loserville, Population You
4Honey : BMA
BaRock! : 4Honey Flamewar!
4Honey : u little biotchs! i m gunna kick ur asses
McCain : With what? ur giant hair?
Hi11ary : LOL!
4Honey : FU
** 4Honey has left chatroom **

And that's just for starters. If you like it, there's more.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

I don't believe in fate or predestination, but I do believe that my loving you is inevitably unavoidable.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Shannon]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Non-Gender-Specific Irish Names Dollars". Coming soon: "Pat" and "Kelly".

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

I HOPE THESE PEOPLE DON'T READ BAD EXAMPLE - UPDATED 4-27-07

Blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World mistakenly thought that a parody of this news story about a ham sandwich being a hate crime was real.

Which is understandable, since it was an excellent parody.

And she's in good company, because Fox News thought it was real, too.

Kudos to Nicholas Plagman and Associated Content for a fine bit of comedy.

And a big, fat BOO! HISS! to those f*ckheads at the AP who can't take a joke:

Lawyers for the AP are reviewing Plagman's story and will take legal action if they feel it is warranted, according to Larry Laughlin, bureau chief in Northern New England.

This pisses me off, because I've written parodies of news stories before that included fake quotes. I never realized I was begging for jail time in the process.

Meanwhile, I guess we should hold a bail money fundraiser for Scrappleface.

UPDATE 4-27-07: A couple things that need mentioning before people pick on Fox. The piece was not originally labelled as parody ("By Wednesday night, Associated Content had put a disclaimer above Plagman's story"), and, according to a statement issued by Associated Content, "This humor piece was misplaced on our site due to a filing error. It is now in the humor section of the site, where it belongs."

I mention this last especially for the benefit of Dr. Benway at HuffPo.

The Fox story appeared on Tuesday.

NOW who's not fact-checking?

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

You are not a mere pleasure. You are a sensual indulgence of loving delights.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[AOR]

In order to boost revenue, the US Treasury started selling advertising space on currency. The first customer was a discount Japanese Internet Service Provider called "America On Rine".

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

Remembering Cho

(cross-posted from IMAO)

Betsy Angert of Daily Kos has posted a long and emotional eulogy lamenting the untimely passing of Seung-Hui Cho, the "loveable and fragile individual" who shot 32 people at Virginia Tech. As teary-eyed as this tribute made me, it just didn't seem to be enough. I mean, yes, Cho was - technically - a victim of gun violence, too, but in the bigger picture, he was so much more.

First, we should consider Cho's thoughtful, giving nature. Just think - if it weren't for Cho, no one would know any of his victims' names. But thanks to his actions, those 32 names will be enshrined and memorialized forever. When the Indianapolis Colts won the Superbowl, did people start posting names of the entire starting line-up? Heck no! Cho has brought more recognition to his classmates - most of whom he hardly even knew - than Peyton Manning did for all his teammates who made Indy's victory possible. Unlike this lauded superstar athlete, Cho was an unselfish man.

But he did so much more than bring the spotlight to 32 unknowns. He took a stand for the oppressed underclass of which he was a part. In a country that hates everyone except white people, he had the courage to be openly Asian - something that no one else besides Michelle Malkin has ever done successfully in our nation's hateful history.

In addition, by his courageous trigger-pullings, he became a true crusader - bringing attention to America's numerous flaws. Of course, he didn't actually MEAN to do this, but when it comes to doing the right thing, the brave thing, the courageous thing, it's well-accepted that intentions matter more than actual results. And if, perhaps, he didn't actually HAVE any good intentions, still it's only fair that he should get credit for them anyway, isn't it? After all, there's an agenda involved here, and that's what REALLY matters.

Here are some reasons we all owe Cho a debt of thanks.

He pointed out the need for stricter gun control laws - Cho did his shooting with a .22 pistol and 9mm pistol. Notice that he did NOT use a machine gun, assault rifle, or even a nuclear missile. That's because those things are ILLEGAL! These shootings are inarguable proof that we need to ban smaller calibers, too.

He pointed out the need for Federal Arts Funding reform - During his time at VT, Cho poured his blackly withered soul into writing a grammatically atrocious 10-page play that was completely lacking in plot, theme, dialogue, and coherance. Yet this brilliant avant-garde masterpiece was never produced for the stage. Sure, it was no Piss Christ, but it's still a shame that our government stood by and did nothing, allowing this sparkling gem of obscenity, pedophilia, and murder to languish uncelebrated.

He pointed out the need for health care reform - Dozens of people knew there was something wrong with Cho. He didn't socialize, he mumbled to himself in class, and took cellphone upskirt pics of his teachers - all the classic signs of dangerous psychosis and/or Star Trek fandom. But how was he to get the help he needed in a country so primitive that it doesn't offer free universal mental health care coverage? I guess those who claim that it's somehow less urgent than covering physical ailments can just shut the hell up now.

He pointed out the need for immigration reform - America has long been a nation of immigrants, but lately our racist government has completely closed down our borders, refusing to let anyone into the country except for the sane, the employable, and the WHITE! WHITE! WHITE! But if we were to set aside our debased racial prejudices, our country could reap the benefits of entire diverse communities of unassimilated, unbalanced, and unwhite peoples of colors. These groups could then give one another the sort of emotional and interpersonal understanding that only those who have lived the horror of brown eyes, straight black hair, and indecipherably thick accents can give. The sort of understanding that our oppressive, patriarchal, racist government denied to poor Cho.

Finally, he pointed out the need for wage reform - Cho's parents both had to work 14 hours a day to earn the money to put him through college. Why was this? Mostly because Bush hates yellow people. But also because not one single job in America pays more than $5.15 an hour. If only this nation were sensible enough to institute a fair, livable, minimum wage (ten, twenty, fifty bucks an hour - whatever). If there were that one small fairness in this country, Cho's parents could've afforded to work less and spent quality time with their son. The could've listened to his concerns, empathized with his feelings, and taught him important life lessons. Like "when planning a shooting spree, always start by shooting yourself first to save money on ammo".

If only Cho had saved more money on ammo.

So sad.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

How effortless it is to love you. It's as simple and natural as breathing to me, and as essential.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(pink smiley face)]

Late at night, when no one was watching, Wal-Mart's Smiley logo liked to try on a little lipstick and eyeshadow - it made him feel SO pretty!

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

Ticket Liquidator

(A paid review)

Via ReviewMe.com, I've been asked to review the site/products/services offered by TicketLiquidator.com

Topics addressed in this review:
WHAT THEY DO
WHO THEY ARE
HOW'S THEIR REPUTATION?
IS THE SITE USER FRIENDLY?
IS THE SITE SAFE TO USE?
SELLING TICKETS
IMPROVEMENTS I'D LIKE TO SEE
WOULD I USE TICKET LIQUIDATOR?
CONCLUSION

WHAT THEY DO

Ticket Liquidator is a ticket broker service. What they do is match people who want to go to sporting, concert, or theater events with people who have tickets for those events. They make their money by charging a service fee for their role in facilitating this transaction.

WHO THEY ARE:

Ticket Liquidator is a Connecticut based company that - judging by the copyright date on the bottom of the page - appears to have been in business since 2002. Researching this has been complicated, but near as I can piece it together, it goes something like this:

The main company is Ticket Software, LLC, which owns Ticket Network (makers of Ticket Network software). They also operate the Ticket Network Direct ticket brokerage network, members of which can become "Ticket Network Direct Trusted Merchants" by agreeing to adhere to certain guidelines and standards. This allows them to offer for sale tickets from the entire Ticket Network Exchange ticket broker inventory. Ticket Liquidator is sorta like the "corporate store" ticket seller for Ticket Network. At any rate, they're all run by Don Vaccaro.

HOW'S THEIR REPUTATION?

As far as I can tell, above reproach. This was a particularly difficult investigation, since Googling for information on ticket brokers is like searching for legitimate information on "cheap prescription drugs" or "debt consolidation". Most search results are for search engine optimized ads that the company has paid to place on other people's web sites. This tells you nothing except that Ticket Liquidator has a significant ad budget.

Also in the results are a few testimonials from purportedly satisfied customers, but these are hosted by a site connected to Ticket Liquidator. This does NOT mean these testimonials are entirely without merit, it just gives them the appearance of being self-serving, which may or may not be the case. The same can be said for the customer testimonials page on the Ticket Liquidator site.

What I wanted to find were casual mentions on unrelated sites. Turns out there were very few. People generally don't discuss where they bought their tickets, just the fact that they went to the event that the tickets were for.

Still, the search was not entirely fruitless, in that it allowed me to notice a certain pattern. When the dead tree press guys & TV news folks talk about ticket brokers, they usually phrase it as "Stub Hub, Ticket Liquidator, and others". And, likely as not, there will be a quote from Ticket Liquidator CEO Don Vaccaro

Checking up on Don led me to two different instances (both in the 90's) of him testifying before the Connecticut legislature on the subject of proposed legislation regarding regulation of the state's ticket resale industry.[CTRL+F "Don Vaccaro" and CTRL+F "Donald Vaccaro:" respectively on the above links]

The fact of his testimony tells me that Don really has been in the ticket resale business for a long time. He's not a Johnny-come-lately or a fly-by-night whose web site will disappear tomorrow. He's in this for the long haul.

The content of his testimony tells me that he's long had an interest in distinguishing what he does from what scalpers do. He wants to see the ticket resale industry as a whole become as legitimate and trustworthy as stock brokers, real estate agents, or online auctions sites like eBay.

So, what DID I find for mentions of Ticket Liquidator? Someone saying they had a friend who liked Ticket Liquidator. Someone saying he used Ticket Liquidator to find his ticket. Someone else saying that Ticket Liquidator sold his ticket out from under him. This last probably isn't as worrisome as it sounds. Ticket Liquidator doesn't HOLD tickets, it merely connects buyer to seller, and some of the tickets it lists are listed at other selling venues as well, which are not necessarily instantaneouly updated. I don't know the details of the transaction, but I do know that they luckless wanna-be buyer didn't seem too upset, so it's probably safe to assume that he wasn't charged. Besides, one of Ticket Liquidator's guarantees is "You will receive tickets that are comparable to or better than the tickets you originally ordered, or your money will be refunded." When ordering tickets, you can select the option "If the exact tickets I've chosen are unavailable, I will accept equal or better tickets if they are available at the same price". I assume the guy didn't choose that option.

Which brings me to the topic of thundering silence. Ticket Liquidator has been in business online for over 4 years. If they were in the habit of giving bad deals, not following through on their promises, or just plain old screwing people over, there would be online hatred and complaints aplenty. Lord knows that if I'd gotten screwed on $100+ tickets to something, I'd be posting howling screeds in every venue I could find.

I infer from the silence that Ticket Liquidator receives no more unhappy customers than any other company in the industry, and probably far less than some others.

IS THE SITE USER FRIENDLY?

Very much so. Prominent search box, narrow two-column page design that makes good use of white space, easy-to-scan lists of the more popular events, and - best of all - when you select the day and location for the event, you'll find a link to a pop-up map of the seating arrangements for the venue in question, so that you can get an idea of what kind of view you'll be buying into.

IS THE SITE SAFE TO USE?

As far as I can tell, yes.

Squidoo lists some things you should look for on an online ticket broker's site:

A Buyer Guarantee - yes, as well as a complete listing of policies

Easy to find Phone Number - yes, as well as the address of their office and hours of operation.

Better Business Bureau Membership Logo - yes, although it's for Ticket Network Direct, not just Ticket Liquidator.

Privacy Policy - yes, near the bottom of the policies page [CTRL+F "privacy policy."].

SELLING TICKETS

If you have a ticket that you don't want or can't use, Ticket Liquidator allows you to sell it through their site. The upside: Unlike eBay, there are no listing fees. If your ticket doesn't sell, you're not out a dime (except for whatever the ticket cost you, and you're already out that no matter WHAT you do). The downside: the selling fee is 10%, which is higher than eBay's combined listing and final value fees (which varies between 5-10%, depending on listing price and final selling price). However, it saves you the trouble of cobbling together an eBay page for the item, and lets you use Ticket Liquidator's reputation to sell your ticket instead of relying on whatever your eBay user feedback rating is. If you don't have many eBay auctions under your belt, it's likely worth the little bit extra.

On the other hand, it's cheaper than StubHub (now a subsidiary of eBay), which charges a 15% selling fee.

IMPROVEMENTS I'D LIKE TO SEE

More navigational links - this is a minor point, but still, since there's no left sidebar with navigational links, I'd suggest one or more of the following to help the user navigate the site:

A "top" link at the bottom of the page.
A "home" link at the bottom of the page.
A search box at the bottom of the page.

Yes, the user can scroll back to the top, but it never hurts to make navigation faster and easier.

Mention the service fee percentage - I don't have a problem with Ticket Liquidator charging a service fee. They earn it by making it convenient for me to get good seats at the events I want to attend. What I find annoying is the fact that the service fee is not included in the price of the tickets. Also, the service fee is not displayed until after you click the buy button, select your country, and select your shipping option. Which isn't necessary, since the fee is not related to the shipping cost. It's a flat 15% of the ticket price. Yet nowhere on the site is that percentage disclosed.

I find this to be an inexcusable inconvenience to the site user. Especially in light of this statement:

We keep our costs as low as possible, using efficient technologies and our innovative business model to grow our business without increasing the cost to the consumer. Sound too fair and ethical to be true? We encourage you to shop around and try to find a better price... we're confident there's not one out there.[emphasis added]

If you really want people to shop around, then make it easier to calculate the final cost. Add a page disclosing "fees and shipping options" and mention that your service fee is 15% of the ticket price, and your shipping options are:

2-day delivery $15.00
Standard Overnight $20.00
Priority Overnight $25.00
Saturday Delivery $30.00
International Priority $36.00 (Canada & Mexico)
International Priority $40.00 (other international deliveries)

I need to know the total amount I'll be asked to spend before I can decide if that ticket is what I want or if I should choose another seat. I believe Ticket Liquidator is passing up a huge opportunity here by not posting their prices up front, which makes them vulnerable to any competitor who DOES offer that extra convenience. I hope they consider this consequence and re-consider this policy.

WOULD I USE TICKET LIQUIDATOR?

A qualified yes.

It would not be my first stop. That would be either the ticket office of the venue where the event is being held, or their authorized ticket agent.

Definitely my second stop. Now that I know the face value of the best available retail seat, I can use Ticket Liquidator to see how much more a better ticket would be. I might get lucky and find something cheaper (more likely to happen as the event draws closer and panicked sellers start trying to unload their tickets at a loss). Or I might find a better seat that's enough of an improvement to be worth the extra money. Ticket Liquidator is quick & easy to use, so it's not much bother to do this.

However, probably not my last stop. I say "probably" because if Ticket Liquidator has a deal that sounds reasonable, I might just go ahead & grab it. Spending time comparison shopping carries the risk of someone buying the tickets I had my eye on.

But if I wanted verification that I'm looking at a good find, I'd check the other popular sites like Ticketmaster, StubHub, RazorGator, and maybe even muck about in the swamp of eBay. Of course, ticket re-selling is rather a commodity business, and the odds of improving a price by more than 10 or 20 dollars is fairly slim (at least for events that *I'd* consider going to). I'd balance the need to find a "bargain" with how much of my life I really wanted to spend chasing the hope of those savings.

CONCLUSION

Ticket Liquidator is a well-regarded ticket broker with a secure, simple-to-use web site and a good reputation. In a crazy internet ocean swirling with "who's this guy?" ticket re-sellers, Ticket Liquidator is an island of stability that's here for the long haul and wants to give customers an experience that will make them come back. Shop around all you want, but make sure that Ticket Liquidator IS one of your shopping stops.

Preferably the first one after you decide that you deserve a better seat than the one the jerks at the ticket window are offering.

You Mean You Wish To Surrender To Me? Very Well, I Accept.

(cross-posted from IMAO)

Since the Democrats have been fighting on the side of the terrorists for years, I assume that Harry Reid's announcement that "this war is lost" is referring to how things are going for them.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Even a single candle can illuminate the darkest night. Imagine, then, how the blazing sun of you brightens my soul

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(fake Million Dollar Bill))]

I will gladly donate this to the DNC if they will just PLEASE put a ball gag on Harry Reid.

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

Because Lefties Are Too Damn Lazy to Write Their Own Stuff

(cross-posted from IMAO)

(for Lynn)

HuffPo's token Righty, Greg Gutfield, posted a list of things that Democrats secretly fear. Lots of good stuff there, like:

Fear that even if the democrats win the 08 election, Europeans will still look down on us and Muslims will still want to kill us.
Fear that capitalism actually works better than any other economic system
Fear that America really is the freest country in the world
Fear that going it alone when you think you're right is more moral than trying to build a coalition with dictators, thieves and cowards.

The comments to Greg's post were laced with typical leftist insanity, BDS, and wishes for Greg's swift-yet-painful death. But nobody did a list for Republicans.

Geez, how many times do I have to do the heavy lifting for these losers?

So here's a list of things Republicans fear, as I would imagine that a short-sighted, logic-impaired, humor-tarded liberal might write them while maintaining a straight face (albeit one almost literally glowing with smug, self-satisfied hubris):

* Fear that socialized medicine will NOT completely destroy capitalism like Republican doomsayers keep bleating.

* Fear that America could actually take lessons in freedom from countries that don't torture or execute their citizens.

* Fear that the puppets America's installed in the Iraqi government will eventually bite the hand that feeds them, just like Saddam, and just like Osama, who both used to be our pals but didn't stay bought.

* Fear that your "innocent jokes" reveal your true racist nature.

* Fear that no one's buying your jingoistic propaganda any more.

* Fear that it isn't possible to get your piece of the American dream because the playing field really ISN'T level.

* Fear that there are actually things the government can do to level the playing field.

* Fear that when people "speak truth to power", YOU'RE the one they're talking to, and that you ought to listen.

* Fear that Fox isn't fair and balanced.

* Fear that Dan Rather's memos were real.

* Fear that Clinton's impeachment was a substanceless case of political grandstanding.

* Fear that an impeachment case against Bush wouldn't be.

* Fear that school voucher programs would hurt the children who couldn't afford to use them.

* Fear that the reality-based community really is.

* Fear that you're only echoing Republican talking points, and have no original thoughts of your own.

* Fear that the Palestinians have good reasons to fight against Israel.

* Fear that gay marriage is less of a threat to the institution than heterosexual abuse and adultery.

* Fear that enforcing cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all educational standards will not do anything to get at-risk students the help they need, even though they make you feel better.

* Fear that Communism can't be as bad as Joe McCarthy & Ronald Reagan told you it was, as proven by the fact that the Chinese economy is growing three times faster than America's.

* Fear that, by laughing at Al Gore, you're giving a death sentence to your children and your children's children.

* Fear that oil doesn't necessarily have to be the world's main source of energy.

* Fear that oil isn't something that innocent people have to die for.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take a long, long shower.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

There is no safety in love, but there is strength in numbers, and two is the strongest number of all.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)


[(rubber stamp: Get US Out! of the United Nations)]

I probably shouldn't taunt the UN like that. The might resolution me.

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

THEY'RE NOT, BUT...

Shamus of Twenty-Sided tackles the complicated question of "are video games art?" after noting that Roger Ebert answered "no" and "HELL no". Lots of good discussion in Shamus's comments, if you're interested in the topic.

Here's my take on it:

I don't believe video games are art. The purpose of art is to evoke emotion through contemplation. The purpose of video games (the story-lined kind, not the repetitive-motion kind) is to evoke emotion through interaction.

In art, you get to watch the hero. In video games, you get to BE the hero.

This does NOT make video games inferior to art. Quite the opposite. Their immersive quality has the potential to be more than mere art could ever dream. However, as Jimmy noted in his comment, the form is still in its infancy:

it’s a young medium; artists are still working out how to use it. We had motion picture technology from the 1860s, but Metropolis (one of the earliest truly great films) wasn’t made until 1927. Check back around 2040 and see how we’re doing.

I agree. The greatest days of video gaming are still ahead.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

There is so much love I have to give you. Be prepared for flash floods of adoration to sweep you away at any time.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

"In fact, I built my entire freaking house out of the stuff."

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE MORE LEG-SHAPED

Kinda disturbing, yet I can't deny that there's definitely an unfulfilled need for this product.

Hotdoll: The Sex Doll for Dogs

[Hat tip: Bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks for sending me the link]

[and yes, her blog's name IS particularly amusing when juxtaposed with the content of this post]

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

How I cherish this mad, foolish, cartwheeling passion you bring into my life!

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(freaky-looking hair drawn on Washington)]

PRESIDENTIAL FUN FACT:
In 1753, Washington attempted to replicate Franklin's famous "electric kite experiment", but made the mistake of holding the key in his hand.

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

THE WAR IN 2010 WORDS

Chris Muir's 4-20-07 Day by Day - stroke of genius, or merely Best. Cartoon. Ever.?

Hard to decide.

QUOTE OF THE DAY - ELEVATOR MAN GETS HIS ELOQUENT ON

Blogson Johnny-Oh of Closet Extremist on what to do about the Virginia Tech shootings:

For your soul, pray for the families and the wounded.
For your heart, grieve for the lost.
For your emotions, hold your family close and let them know you Love them.
For your mind, think of ways that you could avoid being a victim in a similar situation.
For your peace, turn off the damn TV and do one of the above.

Well said.

A personal note to the author: Though you blog infrequently these days, I'm VERY glad you still post when you can. There was a damn good reason I pushed you to get your own blog, and it makes me proud to see that reason is still there.

GLENN REYNOLDS ATONES FOR HATE CRIME

Well, I emailed the Unholy Dark Overlord of the Blogosphere and pointed out his time stamp faux pas. For some inexplicable reason, not only did he not sign me up for any geriatric bestiality porn newsletters, he actually gave the IMAO post another link - this time without the backdating.

So, I guess that makes me special in one regard: I don't think anyone has ever had the same post Instalanched twice before.

Thanks, Glenn. Your puppy is in the mail.

I LOVE IT WHEN THEY MAKE MY POINT FOR ME

In a sarcasm-drenched post "parodying" a "gun-nut" supporting the right to keep and bear arms in the face of the Virginia murders, comedy-impaired HuffPo tool James Heffernan says:

Why should we now hesitate to sacrifice a few dozen people a year for the most precious of all rights we have--the right to bear arms?

Ok, my turn to mock the left: "Why should we now hesitate to sacrifice a few dozen people for our most precious delusion - that gun control works?"

The fact is, James, that the people who died in those shootings had already had their right to bear arms removed from them as a matter of campus policy.

Had they been allowed to exercise their right, this tragedy could've been averted.

Go ahead & read the above link. It's dated April 13th, and it just pegs the irony meter. Here's a couple choice cuts, justifying the campus gun ban:

"I think it's fair to say that we believe guns don't belong in the classroom," [Virginia Tech spokesman] Hincker said. "In an academic environment, we believe you should be free from fear."

"We think we have the right to adhere to and enforce that policy because, in the end, we think it's a common-sense policy for the protection of students, staff and faculty as well as guests and visitors," Hincker said.

Virginia Tech also has the backing of the Virginia Association of Chiefs of Police. In a policy position paper dated April 1, association executive director Dana Schrad wrote that the presence of guns on college campuses "adds a dangerous element to an environment in which alcohol is a compounding factor." Students should not have to be concerned about guns on campus, Schrad wrote.

"The excellent reputation of Virginia's colleges and universities depends in part on the public's belief that they are sending their college-age children to safe environments," the policy paper reads.

Let's be realistic. When you have a rampaging shooter, one of three things will happen: He will get tired of shooting and surrender, he will get tired of shooting and kill himself, or someone will shoot him before he gets tired of shooting.

I know which option *I* prefer.

The only solution to bad men with guns is good guys with guns. Preferrably lots of them. So it has always been, so it always will be.

Let's arm more good guys.

Support concealed carry.

GOTCHA COVERED

Blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only! says he needs a "NO STUPID PEOPLE" sign for work.

Found one at Mixxer:

(click to enlarge)

Not that it'll help.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

I want to tell you I love you. I will not use words, but my lips WILL still be doing the talking.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Where have I been? www.wheresgeorge.com]

Sure, right now it's just a fun little web site. In a couple years, it'll be mandatory under USA PATRIOT Act III.

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

HEH

Blogdaughter Michele of Letters From New York City posted some automatic content while she took some time off to mourn her father.

I think today's combination was God's way of trying to cheer her up:

(click to enlarge)

MuHAMmad.

*snicker*

HUH?

Somebody needs to explain to me why Sanjaya is Satan.

Personally, I didn't think he was any worse than, say, Regina Spektor, and she's all over the radio like a bad rash.

GLENN REYNOLDS HATES ME

So one of my posts at IMAO got linked at Instapundit (yes, the "freedom of assembly" one that's posted below).

I should be happy, right?

But check this out:

And compare the time stamp to the one at IMAO:

Yeah, he linked it, but first he backdated it by 11 hours to bury it.

It's like he's got a grudge against me for some unimaginable reason.

Either that or he got ahold of Physics Geek's time machine.

It's Time For Common Sense Restrictions On Freedom Of Assembly
An Editorial By Harvey

(cross-posted from IMAO)

 In the wake of the Virginia Tech shootings, I've seen a lot of people putting the blame on guns. "We need more gun control laws", they say... "If we didn't have so many guns in this country, this never would've happened", they say... "Stupid Second Amendment! I'll get you for this!" they say.

Slow down there, Sparky! The fact is, guns were already prohibited on the Virginia Tech campus. Having another anti-gun law would be as pointless as outlawing murder, and I don't hear anybody calling for that.

The truth is that these anti-gun wackos are barking up the wrong constitutional doctrine. The problem lies with the First Amendment, not the Second.

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with speeching and pressing and religioning and redressing. It's that assembling thing that makes these killing sprees possible. When people get together in large groups, all they're really doing is providing an irresistable target-rich environment, enticing psychopaths to start blasting away. It's like wearing a short skirt and skimpy top while walking down a street - might as well hand out engraved invitations.

Oh, I know what you're going to say. "We need the right of assembly. Groups of angry citizens mobbing together is one of the last lines of defense against a tyrannical government that oversteps it's bounds".

Feh.

Worked really good for the Chinese in Tiananmen Square, didn't it? What are you going to do? Stop a tank by standing in front of it holding a couple shopping bags? That might've worked 200 years ago, but tanks were much smaller then.

The fact is, freedom of assembly is just an archaic holdover from a bygone era. In today's modern age, people have NO REASON to physically get together in large groups. Technology has provided us with e-mail, and telephones, and blogs, and on-line shopping. Everything that used to require physical proximity can now be accomplished virtually. The problem is that our Consitution is just as archaic as the ridiculous "freedom" it enshrines. It needs to be updated to reflect modern realities.

However, Constitutional amendments are notoriously hard to pass (heck the last one took over 200 years), and the fact is, we don't need to do away with public assembly COMPLETELY - be kinda hard to get laid that way - we just need to modify our outdated notions a bit, and live within a more reasonable framework of interpersonal gathering modalities. You know, pass a few prudent laws that sensibly restrict, rather than repeal.

For example, it's tragically obvious at this point that allowing people to assemble for the purpose of education has - without exception - ended in mass murder every time it's been tried. Why not have virtual classrooms? Each student and teacher securely locked away in their own homes, learning via some sort of Skype & Webcam arrangement? Can't have a school shooting without a school, and no one's ever been murdered in the safety of their own home. If only we as a nation had taken this logical and obvious approach earlier! How many lives would've been saved?

Of course, this is only a first step. The sad fact is that other forms of assembly would remain to be dealt with. Work places, malls, parks, orgies, Tupperware parties... all knowingly flaunting their tempting, shootable flesh, driving the disturbed among us mad with unquenchable desire... eventually something would have to be done about those, too. Maybe some judicious amendment-editing IS in order. Even a simple addition like "right of the people peaceably to assemble - one to a room" might be enough.

Anyway, thank you for reading, and please support this common sense approach to tragedy prevention.

Harvey is a non-disabled Navy veteran accidentally hired to fill an affirmative action quota at IMAO.us. He is also the author of such books as "Get Out of Here! This Is MY Room!" and "Should the Right To Assemble Include C++?".

SHORT NOTICE, BUT IF YOU LIKE WOLVES AND ARE NEAR INDIANA...

Allow me to quote extensively from Blake of Laughing Wolf:

April 20 is Wolf Park Day in Indiana; a free-admission program Friday evening from 6-10 pm at the historic Lafayette Theatre; and, here is a PDF schedule of events for the weekend.

NOTE: This is a member’s only weekend, there is no general admission. Memberships are not expensive and will get you in to a variety of interesting speakers, presentations, demonstrations, and activities. You can buy one at the door, and come on into the Park.

Oh, did I mention the charity auction? Or that the free-admission event on Friday will feature live jazz as well as a howling contest, stories, and more? Or that we are doing a special wolf-bison demo on Sunday? Or that people can win a chance to ride in the truck for the wolf-bison demo, to take part in food prep for the wolves, or other special activities?

Wolf Park rocks. If you can fit this into your plans, do so. And be sure to hook up with Blake. He's the most congenial host I've ever met.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

I have an assignment for you - kiss me until I say "stop". Please be warned that this could take a while...

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[George]

Although the Jeopardy contestant knew "The first name of the President pictured on this bill", he forgot to phrase his response in the form of a question and lost everything.

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

IN PRAISE OF OLDER WOMEN

Viking Medic of The Quest for Valhalla makes a keen observation:

Older women just tell you "Hey you know you [f*cked] up right?" Right then and there you can fix the problem.

Also older women like their own space too. I don't have to be there every waking moment to hold your hand and comfort you. They're also more self sufficient, to a degree, which is awesome. They don't need you for everything, but somethings the want your help.

Yeah, I've noticed that. As women age, they may lose that dewy-with-hormones perkiness, but they MORE than make up for it by

A) playing fewer goofy, manipulative head-games, and

B) having their craziness settle into certain fairly predictable patterns. They're still randomly inexplicable, but preparing for it becomes more like forecasting the weather and less like trying to pick today's lottery numbers.

Desperate Measures

(cross-posted from IMAO)

According to a new report, sex ed classes that teach only abstinence do nothing to delay the average teenager's first experience with intercourse.

Since doing "the marital" leads to naught but woe, suffering, and empty promises of "I'll call you", and all government programs are equally useless, we must do more to protect our children. Here are my suggestions on how Biblical-type knowings may be more effectively prevented:

* Don Imus masks (Rutgers only)

* Thinking about baseball - specifically Tommy Lasorda

* Master Lock™ brand genital piercings

* "Friend of Sanjaya" t-shirts

* Being a white man on a dance floor

* Viewing "Shaved Britney"... either end

* Free car with your first driver's license, but it's a Yugo

* Or you can take the Vespa

* E-mail address containing "@aol.com"

* Community service: peep show mop boy

* Chess club membership (voice of experience here)

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

If there is a miniscule space in my heart that isn't completely filled with love for you, there is no grain of sand fine enough to fit in it.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Money is not everything]

Of course not. Everything is 4.

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

HOW BORED ARE YOU?

If the answer is "extremely", then see if you can find my picture at 2k Bloggers.

It's my shirtless pose where I'm visible from furry chin to svelte, jean-clad waistline.

Yeah, I thought that the 2k Bloggers project died a long time ago, but it was apparently resurrected by a an obsessive-compulsive fan of the project with too much time on her hands.

I can relate.

AS IN TAEKWONDO, SO IN LIFE

Hapkido of Crunch Time posted the essay he wrote to qualify for first degree black belt. Introspective, thoughtful, philosophical, and generally uplifting.

Knowing that there are people out there who think like Hapkido is refreshing food for thought for those times when you feel disgusted by the whole human race.

OK, *NOW* I GET IT

Don Imus wasn't out of line at all.

Here's the relevant part of the transcript via The Moderate Voice:

DON IMUS: So, I watched the basketball game last night between — a little bit of Rutgers and Tennessee, the women’s final.
SID ROSENBERG: Yeah, Tennessee won last night — seventh championship for [Tennessee coach] Pat Summitt, I-Man. They beat Rutgers by 13 points.
IMUS: That’s some rough girls from Rutgers. Man, they got tattoos and –
BERNARD McGUIRK: Some hard-core hos.
IMUS: That’s some nappy-headed hos there. I’m gonna tell you that now, man, that’s some — woo. And the girls from Tennessee, they all look cute, you know, so, like — kinda like — I don’t know.
McGUIRK: A Spike Lee thing.
IMUS: Yeah.
McGUIRK: The Jigaboos vs. the Wannabes — that movie that he had.

That "Jigaboos vs. the Wannabes" is a reference to Spike Lee's movie "School Daze" and in this case, the term makes sense in context.

The discussion revolved around the fact that the Rutgers team looked tougher & more "street". No white-culture-approved straightened hair for them. They've got themselves some tight curls. AND tats.

Calling them "nappy-headed ho's" is like calling a leather-clad biker-chick with a string of Harley tattoos a "bitch". It's practically a compliment.

If Imus was wrong, it was only because he misjudged the fortitude and self-confidence of the Rutgers girls who started crying & whining about how they were scarred by his thoughtless remark.

I'M GUESSING I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE THINKING THIS

When I heard about the campus shootings in Virgina, my first thought was to condsider how this could've been stopped early if even ONE student in the crowd of law-abiding victims had had a gun on him.

A *very* strong argument in this post-9/11, post-Columbine world for mandatory concealed carry for all adult, non-felon, American citizens.

SUBTLE SIGN OF PROGRESS IN IRAQ

Interesting take on the April 9th (4th anniversary of the fall of Baghdad) protests in Iraq.

The press universally attached only one significance to these protests: Iraqis want the US out now.

Matty O'Blackfive quotes a State Department source who noted something else:

when the Shia were demonstarting in Najaf for the expelling of the Coalition "occupiers," the most significant and predominant visual was the crowds waving the Iraqi flag; not the green banner of Shia or the black martyrs' flags. That act of nationalism, even though likely staged, had to resonante with a sizeable portion of the demonstartors. At least the leadership felt the need or advantage of doing that.

He also discusses MSM errors & omissions about the recent Iraqi Parliament bombing. It's a short piece, and worth the read.

OPINION, PLEASE

Let's say you leave a particularly witty comment at some blog. The site owner has a clever response. Would you prefer to see that response put in the comments so that everyone can see how the site owner noticed how witty you are, or would you prefer that the response be e-mailed to you so that you can enjoy the personal attention?

If your answer is "it depends", please explain.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Anything that I have to do without in order to be with you isn't "a sacrifice", it's "an investment". The rewards return exponentially from the cost.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[{Rubber stamp: bear on flag with sparkler)]

WARNING!: Do not attempt to light flag if you are sitting on same.

Note: Warning does not apply if you are a hippy, a communist or just really dumb.

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

UNOFFICIAL THEME SONG

If this blog had an official theme song, it'd be Warren Zevon's "Mr. Bad Example" (link courtesy of Straight White Eric).

If it had an unofficial theme song, it'd be The Holy Modal Rounders "Boobs A Lot":

Yeah, it's a horrible earworm, but it's got boobs, so that makes it ok.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

I show you I love you in little ways, but the love I feel for you isn't little.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Just like ol' times, huh? Here's a dolar for the trolly. Remind you of anything? [heart] ya, Janet]

Promotional flyer for the sequel to Tennessee Williams' "A Streetcar Named Desire" - "A Trolly Named Vague Recollection"

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

PROBABLY WOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO FINISH HIS SONG AT THE AUDITION

Russel of Mean Mr. Mustard ponders why the guys on American Idol are so metro-feminate:

I can't imagine anyone with a voice and personality like Frank Sinatra or Gene Kelly, for instance, getting very far in that environment, despite being talented singers and consummate showmen.

I don't watch a lot of Idol, but I suspect he's right. Any fans of the show care to speculate on what would happen if a young Frank Sinatra hopped a time machine and showed up for the auditions?

MALE BAG LADY PLAYS VIOLIN

As a stunt, a legendary classical violinist played Bach in a subway station, and despite his virtuoso performance, he only made $32.

Must be because his audience just doesn't appreciate Great Music, right?

Actually, I think I found the REAL problem. Please view the video at the link above and see if you agree.

Here's how his body movements are described in the article:

"He played with acrobatic enthusiasm, his body leaning into the music and arching on tiptoes at the high notes".

That's one way of putting it.

Another would be, "Flailing about like a demented windmill, he looked like a complete spaz".

He might've made more money if he'd been seated, or if he'd at least put more effort into maintaining a dignified pose.

Street musicians are scary enough. When they look like they have no contol over their bodies, they're downright terrifying.

[Hat tip: Lynn of A Sweet, Familiar Dissonance]

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

I greet the dawn with gladness, since I know that every morning means another day of loving you.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Beat out a 18 yr old to win bet!!!!]

Sounds impressive until you find out that the bet in question was "who has droopier boobs?"

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

Army Introduces New Body Armor Design

(cross-posted from IMAO)

Pictures of the armor in action.

Intelligent thoughts on the topic.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

As the brushstrokes reveal the authenticity of a master's painting, so, too, do I know that your love is flawless and genuine.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to GREATLY enlarge)

[(various pot-shots at Hillary)]

By request of Sean of Shoot A Liberal - the Hillary $3 Bill

The back can be viewed at FunDollarBills.com, where you can also order one for yourself, if you're so inclined.

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

Kos Kode of Konduct - Liberalism Enforced

(cross-posted from IMAO)

Recently Tim O'Reilly of O'Reilly Radar posted his first draft of the "Blogger Code of Conduct", a set of voluntary guidelines designed to make the blogospheric conversation a touch more civil.

1. We take responsibility for our own words and for the comments we allow on our blog.

We are committed to the "Civility Enforced" standard: we will not post unacceptable content, and we'll delete comments that contain it.

We define unacceptable content as anything included or linked to that:
- is being used to abuse, harass, stalk, or threaten others
- is libelous, knowingly false, ad-hominem, or misrepresents another person,
- infringes upon a copyright or trademark
- violates an obligation of confidentiality
- violates the privacy of others

We define and determine what is "unacceptable content" on a case-by-case basis, and our definitions are not limited to this list. If we delete a comment or link, we will say so and explain why. [We reserve the right to change these standards at any time with no notice.]

2. We won't say anything online that we wouldn't say in person.

3. We connect privately before we respond publicly.

When we encounter conflicts and misrepresentation in the blogosphere, we make every effort to talk privately and directly to the person(s) involved--or find an intermediary who can do so--before we publish any posts or comments about the issue.

4. When we believe someone is unfairly attacking another, we take action.

When someone is publishing comments or blog postings that are offensive, we'll tell them so (privately, if possible--see above) and ask them to publicly make amends.
If those published comments could be construed as a threat, and the perpetrator doesn't withdraw them and apologize, we will cooperate with law enforcement to protect the target of the threat.

5. We do not allow anonymous comments.

We require commenters to supply a valid email address before they can post, though we allow commenters to identify themselves with an alias, rather than their real name.

6. We ignore the trolls.

We prefer not to respond to nasty comments about us or our blog, as long as they don't veer into abuse or libel. We believe that feeding the trolls only encourages them--"Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, but the pig likes it." Ignoring public attacks is often the best way to contain them.

All fine & dandy, but it's certainly not for everyone. A blog must be true to its own inherent nature. That's why Frank J. wrote his own set of guidelines specifically for IMAO, and even Michelle Malkin has her own shorter, sweeter version.

And that got me to thinking that, since liberals are notoriously lazy about writing things for themselves, I should put one together for Daily Kos.

We celebrate the blogosphere because it embraces our moral and political delusions. But delusions can only survive in the absence of rational challenge. We present this Kos Kode of Konduct in hopes that it helps create an insular and ideologically pure - if somewhat conceptually incestuous - culture that encourages both personal psychosis and deranged demagogery.

1. We are merely victims of others' misinterpretations of our words and the comments that forced themselves on our blog.

We are committed to the "Liberalism Enforced" standard: we are - by definition, since we're liberals - incapable of posting unacceptable content, but we'll sure as hell delete comments that contain it.

We define unacceptable content as anything included or linked to that:
- fails to abuse, harass, stalk, or threaten Republicans
- is libelous, knowingly false, ad-hominem, or misrepresents Democrats, unless we've decided to throw said Democrat to the wolves, like that SOB Lieberman
- infringes upon a copyright or trademark, except in cases of plagiarism, AKA "fair use"
- violates an obligation of confidentiality - exceptionally juicy and/or speculative pieces of gossip notwithstanding
- violates the privacy of others while doing nothing to bring search engine traffic to our site
- paints aught but the most unflattering portrait of not-my-President Bush

We define and determine what is "unacceptable content" via consultation with a Magic 8 Ball, and our definitions are not limited consistency, logic, fairness or decency. If we delete a comment or link, we will pretend it was never there and pray that no one thinks to check the Google Cache or the Internet Archive. [We reserve the right to change these standards at any time with no notice and then vehemently maintain that we didn't.]

2. We won't say anything online that we wouldn't say in person if we were surrounded by a gang of liberal friends and standing behind armed body guards - who, by the way, are the only people that should be allowed to own guns, and you wouldn't BELIEVE how much it pains us to even let THAT one slide.

3. We abuse publicly before we respond privately - not that we have anything to apologize for in any case.

When we encounter non-conforming notions in the blogosphere, we make every effort to smear loudly and unreservedly the person(s) involved - or find an frothing mob who can do so - as we publish our obscenity and invective-laden posts or comments about the issue.

4. When we believe someone is unfairly attacking a liberal, we'll muck-rake and hatchet-job that little weasel into oblivion.

When someone is publishing comments or blog postings that are offensive or even slightly challenging to our truthyish world-view, we'll screech like a Muslim in a sausage factory (and with as little regard for decorum as Britney Spears wearing a short skirt while getting out of a limo - see above) and demand public acts of contrition and/or self-flagellation. If those published comments could be construed as a threat, or if we find them even moderately irksome, and the perpetrator doesn't withdraw them and apologize and bring us a shrubbery... one that looks nice... and not too expensive... we will cooperate with law enforcement to protect the target of the threat. Or maybe we'll just post pictures of the perp's kids' on a pedophile message board. Have to consult the Magic 8 Ball on that one.

5. We do not allow anonymous comments unless we agree with them. Otherwise DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! But you can't prove that happened.

We require commenters to supply a valid email address before they can post so that we can sell our mailing list to the boys at Cialis-R-Us. However, we do allow commenters to identify themselves with an alias, rather than their real name, as long as it's something clever like Hillary08 or BushIsHitler.

6. We don't ignore the trolls. We ARE the trolls.

We prefer not to respond to nasty comments about us or our blog, as long as they don't veer into abuse or libel. But then again, nothing draws page views like a good pissing contest, so GAME ON, RETHUGLICANS! We believe that feeding the trolls keeps them fat & happy - "Always wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, and we LOVE it! (although we apologize to any Muslims who might be offended by that image)." Posting and linking to public attacks is often the best way to encourage them. Besides, it brings search engine traffic to our site.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

There must have been a time - perhaps before we met - that I didn't love you. Yet I don't recall every really having lived without you, so perhaps I'm mistaken.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[I GREW HEMP]

Which I made into the soap that got a German punk rocker arrested.

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

TRUST ME, YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW

In exchange for that which shall remain nameless, Day by Day creator, artistic genius, and all around swell fella Chris Muir created a new portait of me to go under the "YOUR HOST" banner in my right sidebar.

Now, on a completely different and thoroughly unrelated topic, does anyone know where I can get [checks list]... a pneumatic drill, a case of Fart, and 17 live chinchillas?

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

You seem to have an infinite capacity for loving me. For which I am infinitely grateful.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Ann K]

From "Manipulating Women for Dummies", p. 70:

"Women are suckers for seeing their names in print. If you can't afford to get her name tattooed on your arm, just write it on some currency and you'll be in her pants in no time.

CAUTION: Results not guaranteed for low denomination bills, or if you can't remember her last name."

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

A HEALTHY ATTITUDE ABOUT BODY IMAGE

Note to the ladies - talk like this is sexy. You know why? Because taking a strong woman to bed feels like conquering Mt. Everest.

I like women who make me believe that they KNOW that they are a prize worth having.

[Hat tip to Beth of She Who Will Be Obeyed for the video]

P.S. Here's an interview with Joy Nash in Skorch magazine (April 2007, page 66).

P.P.S. Not to be confused with the romance novel author or the basketball player Joy Nash.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

If it were within my power, I would shine a spotlight on you all the time so that people could see that - on the stage of my life - YOU are the superstar.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG FOR A LITTLE SELF-CONGRATULATORY BACK-PATTING

5000 posts at Bad Example.

Yeah, I need to get a life.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(blank)]

As a follow up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the ONLY bill in its new series of "Democratic Congressmen Who Actually Mean It When They Say 'I Support The Troops' Dollars".

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

UK Readers, Back Me Up On This One

(cross-posted from IMAO)

I saw this picture of Nancy Pelosi, and wondered what she was doing with her left hand:

At first I thought she was trying to hide her Muslim-offending hair because she was embarrassed about being seen in public without her silky dishrag of subservience.

Too innocent of an explanation. Believing that would be as crazy as believing that fire could melt steel.

So maybe Nancy's giving a clandestine Victory sign to her terrorist buddies?

More likely, but Victory signs are palm-outward.

Therefore, my conclusion is that she's giving a big, British F-U to the troops, the President, and every American who thinks licking terrorist boots is a stupid idea.

I'm going with that one.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

There's a languid laziness that comes with laying in your arms... a guilty pleasure about which I refuse to feel guilty.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)
(click to enlarge)

[(red wavy line)]

And, as you can see from the graph, the quantity of comments a post receives is inversely related to the overall quality of the post itself.

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

RIGHT WING NEWS RIGHTY-BLOG TEMP CHECK

Is now up at Right Wing News.

The questions this time were amazingly ambiguous, so I eagerly clarify thusly:

Yes. I think it's asinine to send someone to prison for lying, when what they were lying about was not a crime in the first place. You don't see Bubba Clinton behind bars, now do ya?

2) Should George Bush ask Alberto Gonzales to resign? Yes or no?

No. US Attorneys serve at the pleasure of the President. Their dismissal is strictly his business and responsibility.

3) Should the United States be willing to take military action against the Iranians if the British request it? Yes or no?

Yes. As closely allied as we are with the UK, an act of war against them is an act of war against us, and by God it's time to treat this as the act of war that it is.

4) If the only way to stop the Iranians from acquiring nuclear missiles was through air strikes, would you support that course of action or do you think we should allow the Iranians to get nuclear
weapons instead? As a last resort, air strikes or nukes for the Iranians?

Air strikes. If the War on Terror has no other goals, it MUST at least have the goal of keeping nuclear weapons out of the hands of radical Islamists. I support whatever action is required to keep this from happening. The cost of failure is simply too great.

5) Which side do you believe is more responsible for the conflict between the Israels and the Palestinians? The Israelis or the Palestinians?

Palestinians. Their sad dedication to controlling a particular lump of dirt is pathetic. If you're not happy, move to a place where you can make a satisfactory life for yourself, instead of pining away for the fjords of your homeland. Their situation is every bit as stupid as me trying to re-conquer my "ancestral homeland" of Sweden. Grow up, get over it, and move on with your life.

6) Do you believe the theory of evolution is correct? Yes or no?

Yes. I've read Darwin's "On The Origin of Species" and accept the theories contained therein as accurate.

7) Would you support an immigration bill that allowed illegal aliens to become American citizens? Yes or no?

Yes... mostly on the premise that being an American citizen is pretty much the best thing that can happen to any human being, and I like spreading happiness. Of course, the specific process of HOW these folks are to be transformed into citizens is not addressed in John's question, and the many options of completing that process contain the details in which the devil lies.

8) Do you think abortion should either be banned or alternately banned with exceptions for rape, incest, or the life of the mother? Yes or no?

No. My personal preference on the legality of abortion is the same dividing line between miscarriage and stillbirth. If the fetus is completely dependent on its mother, it's a part of her body and hers to do with as she pleases. If it's viable, it's a citizen and entitled to Constitutional protections. However, because matters of legality can get messy quickly, I'm open-minded to arguments as to why the LAW should favor or disfavor abortion at any given point in the pregnancy process.

HOW TO EMBED YOUTUBE VIDEOS - UPDATED 4-9-07 9:45AM

Everybody else does it, and I wanted to do it to, but couldn't figure out how. When I tried clicking the "post this video" link at YouTube, it didn't list Movable Type as an option, plus they wanted my blog password.

Looked kinda like a dead end.

UPDATE 4-9-07 9:45AM: Blogson Contagion of Miasmatic Review points out in the comments that the embed code is actually provided in the box just to the right of the video at the YouTube site. Looks like I wrote all this for nothing.

So I found someone with an embedded YouTube video, looked at the source code, and figured out what to do.

The embedded source code looks like this [bolding added by me]:

<p><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/gNqiSkd1M6k"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/gNqiSkd1M6k" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"></object></p>

A typical YouTube URL looks like this [bolding added by me]:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPxzsFRPQd0

In order to embed a YouTube video, just replace the bolded parts of the embedded source code with the bolded part of the YouTube URL, then put the new embedded source code in your post.

Like this smart dog fetching a tennis ball (link e-mailed to my by Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite):

Anyway, here's the plain text version of the code. Just replace the "VIDEO ID" part:

<p><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/VIDEO ID"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/VIDEO ID" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"></object></p>

Blogger Note: I had trouble getting a video to post at Blogger because it said I was missing a closing tag for the <embed> opening tag. I stuck one in toward the end and it seemed to work fine. Thus:

<p><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/VIDEO ID"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/VIDEO ID" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"></embed></object></p>

NOTE: [If you've found this post useful enough to blog about, send a trackback or e-mail the permalink to me at harvolson-at-gmail.com and I'll add you to my Bad Example Groupies blogroll. See this post for details]

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

As champagne to my nose, your laughter bubbles up and tickles my ears.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: fish)]

As a follow up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Smelly Things Dollars". Coming soon: "Diaper Pail" and "Hippy".

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Doing without food, clothing and shelter would be a mere inconvenience compared to doing without your love.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[From Miller]

Ironically, the dollar tastes better than their beer.

TODAY'S DIRTY MINDS QUIZ

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues)

2) I get knocked up

3) You have to rotate to get in another position

Answer in the comments tomorrow.

Snakes on a Search Engine

(cross posted from IMAO)

[pic via One Digital Life]

What *I* really don't understand is why anyone would own a python that wasn't named Monty.

But I guess the bigger question here is: why was there a snake in the Google offices in the first place?

I speculate thusly:

* Mr. Jingles, the official Google office mouse, has peed on the CEO's keyboard for the last time!

* Google's "Toilet Internet Service Provider" feature clogged up and they got confused when the plumber asked for a snake.

* Part of Google's new ad campaign, "So easy, a python could do it!"

* Samuel L. Jackson themed party took a bizarre, yet not wholly unexpected, turn.

* Needed a lawyer to advise them about the pre-Katrina Google Earth images scandal. That's as close as they could get on short notice.

* Determined to find out once and for all whether it really tastes like chicken.

* Snake had to be silenced before he could tell the world the horrifying truth: Google Search is people!

* Came to complain because Google Language Tools doesn't contain an option for Ophidian

* It came with the stripper.

BAD EXAMPLE'S DAILY LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Though luxurious, your love is not a luxury. Its necessity is unquestionable.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[NOT FOR POKER]

I get even with her by writing "NOT FOR SHOES" on her money.