ONE OF *THOSE* MOMENTS

When even a jaded misanthrope like me feels a little closer to his fellow man

Checked my referrer logs for the first time in months, and found this link.

Which leads to a Bad Example post, with all the words crudely translated into Dutch by Google, but all the colors & fonts & pictures intact.

Huh.

Small world.

Hope he found what he was looking for.

It just always blows my mind a little when something I post directly affects the life of someone who doesn't speak the same language as me. Living in small-town Wisconsin, that's not something that happens very... ever.

CREDIT WHERE IT'S DUE - UPDATED 2-21-09

I just want thank Obama for sending 17000 more troops to Afghanistan.

I beat the crap out of the man for the things he does wrong. I owe him a salute when he does something right.

UPDATE 2-21-09: Another hat tip for not granting Constitutional rights to enemy combatants at Bagram.

AN OPEN LETTER TO OGRE

Ogre of Ogre's Politics & Views - one of the strongest, most consistent freedom-fighters I know - is throwing in the towel:

I’m not going to vanish off the face of the earth, but I’m not going to be here. There is no point in it. I’m done fighting. I’m going to spend the rest of my days, as long as I can, just being free.

To which I say, with sadness:

Everyone's got their breaking point.

But as I recall from "When Hell Was In Session", if a POW broke, his comrades would encourage him not to STAY broken. They told him to put himself back together and keep resisting.

If you decide eventually that you can un-break - and I sincerely hope you do - I'll gladly welcome you back to the fight.

Meanwhile, if nothing else, please leave the blog. Someone who's stuggling might stumble over there and find just the words of inspiration he needs to keep going. You always had a way with words, forming them regularly into powerful, succinct arguments for what is good and right.

Sure, the idiots won't listen to you, but you've never been talking to the idiots, and idiots won't be the ones responsible for turning the tide.

And although you haven't won the war, you've inspired those who fight the battles with the ideas they need to keep them alive in the trenches.

God bless you, Ogre, and good luck.

DISAPPOINTING

I had my "say it ain't so, Joe" moment today:

The US government may have to nationalise some banks on a temporary basis to fix the financial system and restore the flow of credit, Alan Greenspan, the former Federal Reserve chairman, has told the Financial Times. In an interview, Mr Greenspan, who for decades was regarded as the high priest of laissez-faire capitalism, said nationalisation could be the least bad option left for policymakers. "It may be necessary to temporarily nationalise some banks in order to facilitate a swift and orderly restructuring," he said. "I understand that once in a hundred years this is what you do."

No, Alan, this is what you NEVER do. Not once in a hundred years or a thousand or a million. Because it's anathema to a free society, and it doesn't work anyway.

Greenspan is dead to me.

YES, BUT WHAT DO I *TELL* THEM 'ABOUT ME'?

Shamus of Twenty-Sided is planning a site update, including tweaking his "About the Author" page, and asks:

What sort of things do you look for when reading about the author of a site? My picture will be there so people will know the basic name / age / gender stuff. But beyond that, what questions do you usually have about the people you read?

My personal preference for an "about me" page is to actually have an "about me" category. You start the category with one post containing all the basic name/age/gender stuff you're willing to share, then use it as a catch-all for any "5 Wacky Things About Me" meme-posts that you do to appease the friends who tag you, and any posts that are essentially nothing more than diary entries about your day, like "Ate lunch at McDonald's today. Yay! Fast food!".

Some folks sincerely enjoy other people's life-trivia. Gather it in one place for them.

A LITTLE JUVENILE HUMOR

Got these in a Million Times Forwarded Email from my Blogless Brother Roy and found them amusing. Hope you do, too.

She calls on little Ralphy.

He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'

The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'

Then little Ralphy says, 'I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?'

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'

To which Little Ralphy replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'

LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH

Little Ralphy returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

'Why?' asks the father?

'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies Ralphy.

'But that's right!' says his dad.

'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''

'What's the f*cking difference?' asks the father.

'That's what I said!'

LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH

Little Ralphy goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

Ralphy says 'Mas-tur-bate.'

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Ralphy, that's a mouthful.'

Little Ralphy says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.'

LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR

Little Ralphy was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet. He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!'

The teacher replied, 'Now, Ralphy, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.'

Little Ralphy, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!'

LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'

'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

'My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'

She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on little Ralphy.

'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f*cking beautiful!''

[Yeah, Michael f*cked up his answer, but he's an ass-kisser, so teacher gave him a pass]

LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER

Little Ralphy was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'

Little Ralphy replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'

The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'

Little Ralphy answered, 'No, he minded his own f*cking business.

FASTER SERVICE AT THE BANK

If you're going through your bank's drive-through, which lane should you pull into?

Based on observing customer behavior, I suspect most people think the answer is "whichever lane is closest to the building", because I see people going 3 or 4 deep in that first lane when the rest are empty.

But here's the truth. Tellers do not process transactions in order of your proximity to the building. Nor do they process them in the order you pull up.

They process transactions in the order that they arrive at their workstation.

Unless your transaction is too big (or too heavy with coin) to fit into that plastic tube, ALWAYS pick an open lane, even if it's the one that's farthest from the building, then send your transaction in as soon as you can. If you get yours in before someone who pulled in at the same time in a different lane, you win.

Just a little time-saving tip. Use it as you will.

JOSS WHEDON'S DOLLHOUSE: GOT MY FINGERS CROSSED

Molly Willow of the Columbus Dispatch is dubious about Joss Whedon's new series, but I'm not listening.

Maybe she's right. Her description makes Dollhouse sound a lot like the godawful "My Own Worst Enemy". But considering his previous premises were something like "vampires in LA" and "cowboys in space", I'm not too worried about that.

I watch Whedon shows because that man can write dialogue like nobody's business, and his shows don't have padding or filler. If a scene is in there, it's because it's necessary to move the story along. That's rare.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to this. I guess the important thing to note from her review is that the first episode might not be as good as the second one, so be patient.

Dollhouse. 8pm CST Friday nights on Fox.

THE BAD EXAMPLE FAMILY TREE - UPDATED 3-28-09

Blogson Andrew of Custos Honor drew up a family tree, which I've been keeping updated:

(click to enlarge - it's a biggun')

It gets a little complex, so I'll try to explain:

On my own, I begat:

The Bartender of Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon
Mike the Marine of From the Halls to the Shores
Teresa of Technicalities
_Jon of We Swear
Sally of Whimsy Capricious
Johnny-Oh of Closet Extremist
Pam of Camp HappyBadFun!
Firstbrokenangel of AAFFLLAACCKK
Peter of Shakey Pete's Shootin' Shack
Andrew (Aris_Ravenscroft) of Custos Honor
GA Mongrel of GA Mongrel
Sarah of That's Not Very Nice!
Blogless Brother of Blogless Brother
Wandering Gunslinger of Gunpowder Grotto

With help from Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks (don't ask), I begat:

That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom
Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice

With help from Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks AND Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice (don't ask), I begat:

Contagion of Miasmatic Review

With help from Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice (don't ask), I begat:

Blue Tige of Blue Tige

With help from The Humble Devildog of Random Firings of Neurons AND Beth of Yeah, Right, Whatever (don't ask), I begat:

Deathknyte of Bad Catholicism

With help from bloggranddaughter Mrs. Who of House of Zathras (don't ask), I begat:

Bitterroot of Friction and Harmony

I adopted:

GEBIV of There's One, Only!
Jeff of Ponytailed Conservative (Deceased 7-9-06)
Tammi of Tammi's World
Roger & Chuck of Class Mishaps
Michele of Letters From New York City
Jeff of Oh-Dark-Thirty
Oddybobo of Bobo Blogger

With help from Tammi of Tammi's World (don't ask), I begat:

Machelle of Quality Weenie

On her own, Tammi of Tammi's World begat:

Lee Ann of Lee Ann's View
Army Wife of ArmyWifeToddlerMom
TalulaZephyr of Love and Koolaid Stains
Ktreva of The Reality Ranch
Carmen of I'll Do What I Want... Gosh!
Chief of Musings of the Smartest Guy in the World

On her own, Lee Ann of Lee Ann's View begat:

"Susan" of Get A Life!

On her own, Army Wife of ArmyWifeToddlerMom begat:

KD of The Life of the Wife

On her own, Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice begat:

VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks
Sissy of And What Next...
Rave of Quid Nunc
Mrs. Who of House of Zathras
Titan of Titan's Lair

VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks adopted:

Maranda of Maranda Under Stress
Matthew of Maybe Baby

On her own, Rave of Quid Nunc begat:

Hippie of Bohemian Rhapsody

On her own, Teresa of Technicalities begat:

IrishPixie of Pixie Dust Productions, Inc.
MathCogIdiocy of MathCog Idiocy

On her own, IrishPixie begat:

GiGi of GiGi's View of the World

On her own, MathCogIdiocy begat:

TOSP of The Other Sister Person
Zephyr of Zephyr's Place

On her own, VW Bug begat:

Sticks of From Chaos to Serendipity
Tink of Tink's Tribulations

On her own, Sissy begat:

Spurs of Pull My Finger

On his own, Johnny-Oh of Closet Extremist begat:

Sarah the Penguin of Because We Have Thumbs
Neonangel of Lyrical Coma
Tuck of Thought Drizzle

On her own, Sarah the Penguin begat:

Tom of Son Of A DJ

On her own, (or possibly with help) Oddybobo begat:

MC Tutor of An Unfortunate Intrusion of Reality

On his own, Contagion begat:

Virtue of Rantings of an Indentured Servant
Bruce Wayne of Back To The Batcave
Petey of Petey's Powderhorn

On his own, _Jon of We Swear begat:

Denise of "A Peek Inside My Mind" (now shut down, but she currently does guest posts here)

James of Ramblings of an Ordinary is - in real life - married to Denise of A Peek Inside My Mind

Alex of Alex in Wonderland is - in real life - married to Sally of Whimsy Capricious.

Also married in real life:
Contagion & Ktreva
Mrs. Who & Bitterroot
Graumagus & Maranda

TNT of Smiling Dynamite was begat as the result of a virtual gang-bang at the Bad Example Family (& Friends) Reunion (Orlando, Feb 8-14th, 2005) and is - in real life - married to me (Harvey of Bad Example)

That should more or less explain everything. I'll update this post as circumstances warrant.

Oh, and there's also a rumor that Sally gave birth to an inanimate carbon rod, but you can't believe everything you read on the internet.