July 17, 2007
JOHN EDWARDS FABULOUS FACTS
(a weekly round-up of the daily posts from IMAO)
* Before entering politics, John was known as Edwards Spice.
* Until they met John Edwards, the Klingons had no word for "manicure".
* The phrase "useful as a screen door on a submarine" will eventually be replaced by "useful as John Edwards in a presidential race".
* John Edwards was kicked off "The Price is Right" for screaming at the merchandise models, "That's not how to gesture towards a prize! Do it like THIS, you graceless cow!".
* You can always count on John Edwards for sympathy and advice if you have that "not so fresh" feeling.
* John Edwards will not use cotton balls because they give him carpet burns.
[collaborative hat tip: reader Chris]
* John Edwards was the original model for the international "women's restroom" symbol.
[collaborative hat tip: reader Chris]
BONUS FACTS:
from Matt:
You know that antiperspirant that's strong enough for a man but pH balanced for a woman? It gave John Edwards second degree burns.
from Chris:
John Edwards gets erotic nightmares about Nintendo's Kirby.
from Silicon Valley Jim:
* The inventor of the My Little Pony toys got the idea after seeing John Edwards in a courtroom.
* The $1,250 bill isn't just for John Edwards's haircut. It also includes his Brazilian wax.
* When John Edwards was in high school, he would stay home and cry for a week every time he had a pimple.
Bonus bonus fact from me:
* He still does.
*chuckle*
Hiiii!
*John Edwards wakes up and shrieks like little girl*
He called one of the Price Is Right models a "graceless cow"?!!? Now that just makes me mad!!!
E-Mail Me (Harvey)
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