COURTESY LINK

Right Wing News conducted a survey in which I participated:

Would you favor or oppose giving illegal immigrants now living in the United States the right to live here legally if they pay a fine and learn English?
Oppose - There's already a process for legal immigration. Follow that.

Do you believe Barack Obama is a racist who hates White people?
No - No more than everyone else hates white people, which is quite a bit, because they're very annoying and they like stupid stuff.

Do you believe ACORN stole the 2008 election?
No - No, I believe John McCain flushed it down the toilet by being a linguine-spined, half-socialist douchebag. The fact that he's bald, slow-talking, has a speech impediment that sounds like loose dentures - and caps it all with a bad combover - didn't help his chances any.

Should openly gay men and women be allowed to serve in the military?
No - I've seen unit cohesion fall apart after a homosexual outing. It ain't pretty. Teenage men are full of a lot of things. Tolerance ain't one of them.

Should same sex couples be allowed to marry?
No - If same sex couples want to have all the legal & financial entanglements of marriage, have a lawyer draw up mutual, reciprocal powers of attorney and get a joint checking account. Then buy a pair of rings and live happily ever after like the rest of us. If you're waiting for society's permission, you're probably just a pussy who's afraid of commitment.

Should Barack Obama be impeached, or not?
No - Right now, all he's guilty of is being a sleazy politician with a shit-eating grin and no grasp of basic economics. If that changes, I'll be the first to call for his head on a pike (metaphorically speaking).

Do you believe Barack Obama was born in the United States, or not?
Yes - Although I admit being open to the possibility that his mother was a lying whore who forged paperwork to get her baby citizenship. I'd need to see better proof than what's currently out there, though.

Do you think Barack Obama is a socialist?
Yes - You mean there's evidence to the contrary? I haven't seen any.

Do you believe your state should secede from the United States?
No - Wisconsin would become just another third-world, socialist shit-hole inside of a decade if it were left to its own devices. Hell, it's barely better than that now. New Hampshire, however...

Do you think the Democrats are going to pass a health care bill?
No, it's dead - Democrats flat don't have the numbers any more, and I'm not aware of any Republican obtuse enough to miss the wake-up call of Scott Brown's election.