COURTESY LINK

John Hawkins of Right Wing News posted Conservative Bloggers Choose Their Favorite Movies Of All-Time. Here were the 10 I submitted:

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[Items with a * are on the final RWN list]

Cyrano de Bergerac - 1950 version with Jose Ferrar. They just don't write dialogue like that any more.

Gone in 60 Seconds - 2000 version with Nicholas Cage. It's not about theft, it's about the joy of driving. What's not to love?

* The Terminator - A pop culture reference icon, which, except for the cheesy 80's synthesizer music, holds up pretty well over time.

Aliens - Very quotable, plus watching Paul Reiser in a "serious" role never fails to amuse me.

* The Shawshank Redemption - Stephen King writes great stories that - almost without exception - make atrocious movies. This is one of those exceptions.

* The Princess Bride - Most. Quotable. Movie. Ever. Added bonus: great swordfighting choreography.

Unbreakable - There's a lot of rich little nuanced details that make this slow-moving plodfest intriguing to watch repeatedly. Plus, I'm a fan of the comic-book hero mythos. The world could use more heroes.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day - One of the few sequels ever made that improves on the original.

The Green Mile - The other Stephen King movie exception.

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COURTESY LINK

Right Wing News conducted a survey in which I participated:

Would you favor or oppose giving illegal immigrants now living in the United States the right to live here legally if they pay a fine and learn English?
Oppose - There's already a process for legal immigration. Follow that.

Do you believe Barack Obama is a racist who hates White people?
No - No more than everyone else hates white people, which is quite a bit, because they're very annoying and they like stupid stuff.

Do you believe ACORN stole the 2008 election?
No - No, I believe John McCain flushed it down the toilet by being a linguine-spined, half-socialist douchebag. The fact that he's bald, slow-talking, has a speech impediment that sounds like loose dentures - and caps it all with a bad combover - didn't help his chances any.

Should openly gay men and women be allowed to serve in the military?
No - I've seen unit cohesion fall apart after a homosexual outing. It ain't pretty. Teenage men are full of a lot of things. Tolerance ain't one of them.

Should same sex couples be allowed to marry?
No - If same sex couples want to have all the legal & financial entanglements of marriage, have a lawyer draw up mutual, reciprocal powers of attorney and get a joint checking account. Then buy a pair of rings and live happily ever after like the rest of us. If you're waiting for society's permission, you're probably just a pussy who's afraid of commitment.

Should Barack Obama be impeached, or not?
No - Right now, all he's guilty of is being a sleazy politician with a shit-eating grin and no grasp of basic economics. If that changes, I'll be the first to call for his head on a pike (metaphorically speaking).

Do you believe Barack Obama was born in the United States, or not?
Yes - Although I admit being open to the possibility that his mother was a lying whore who forged paperwork to get her baby citizenship. I'd need to see better proof than what's currently out there, though.

Do you think Barack Obama is a socialist?
Yes - You mean there's evidence to the contrary? I haven't seen any.

Do you believe your state should secede from the United States?
No - Wisconsin would become just another third-world, socialist shit-hole inside of a decade if it were left to its own devices. Hell, it's barely better than that now. New Hampshire, however...

Do you think the Democrats are going to pass a health care bill?
No, it's dead - Democrats flat don't have the numbers any more, and I'm not aware of any Republican obtuse enough to miss the wake-up call of Scott Brown's election.

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COURTESY LINK

In a case of premature selectionation (which I sincerely hope is not a metaphor for anything else in his life, because John is a great guy), Right Wing News is asking who I'd support as the RNC selectee in 2012:

Haley Barbour
Jeb Bush
Mitch Daniels
Newt Gingrich
Mike Huckabee
Sarah Palin
Ron Paul
Mike Pence
Rick Perry
Tim Pawlenty
Mitt Romney
John Thune

Politically speaking, I'd like to pick Newt Gingrich, since he's a clever and eloquent speaker who can explain the foundations of freedom off-the-cuff better than most people can with script, a teleprompter, cue cards, and James Earl Jones doing a voiceover.

Trouble is, anytime a Democrat actually stands up to him, he folds up like a cheap lawn chair under Michael Moore's ass.

Oh, and he supported the RINO in NY-23 instead of the candidate who actually, you know, espoused all those limited-government principles that he constantly gives lip-service to.

So I'm throwing in with Team Palin. Mostly because any time she opens her pretty mouth, the left starts shitting on the floor and rolling around in it before throwing it in her direction in the form of sleazy, sexist, statements of ad hominem frothing.

Which is comedy gold, and gives me something fun to write about at IMAO.

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HALF THE STORY

Went to Vegas over Thanksgiving. Saw the UFL Championship game (4 rows up on the 45 yard line). Not as good as the XFL, but it was still pretty exciting.

Anyway, here are the happiest slot-machine-related events that happened in 6 days of gambling:

$45.50 on $.25
$37.00 on $.30
$15.00 on $.09
$50.00 on $.10
$54.70 on $.40
$10.05 on $.10
$19.62 on $.18
$15.00 on $.10
$13.93 on $.09
$10.00 on $.09
$5.00 on $.05
$14.50 on $.10
$10.04 on $.09

and my personal favorite, while killing time at the Vegas airport waiting for our flight to leave:

$3.97 on $.01

I'm not going to tell you how much we lost while getting all those jackpots, because that would take all the fun out of the story.

In non-gambling news, see Sandy Hackett's Rat Pack at the Sahara, V at the Flamingo, and Nathan Burton at Planet Hollywood.

Also, Aunt Annie's pretzels in the Miracle Mile Shops in Planet Hollywood are to die for.

Also, also, keep an eye out for Albert the banjo Player who hangs out between The Mirage and Caeser's Palace on the west side of Las Vegas Boulevard.

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VETERANS DAY

To those who served before, with, and after me - thank you.

To those who were civilians from 1985 to 1991 - thank you for being the kind of Americans worth serving.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

43 today.

Which is very exciting, because 43 is the largest non-McNugget number!

If you can think of anything more exciting than that, leave a link to it in the comments, or just tell me about it.

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COURTESY LINK

Right Wing News "The Rightosphere Temperature Check For June: Sanford, Atheists, Health Care, Oh My!", in which I took part - my answers explained:

Do you think Mark Sanford should resign as Governor of South Carolina?
Yes, he lacks the moral authority to govern. In order to hold public office, you don't have to be an angel, but you shouldn't be an asshole. Adultery on the public dime is a disqualifier for anyone with a sense of shame.

Do you believe manmade global warming is occurring right now?
No. If we're warming, it's because of variations in the sun's activity. Or the oceans. Or volcanoes. Or clouds. Or - most likely - the impossibility of gathering meaningful "global" temperature readings, combined with data fudging for the purposes of garnering federal grant money.

If Barack Obama's health care plan were to pass, do you think care would become:
More expensive and of less quality. There's a reason sick Canadians come here.

What grade would you give Barack Obama on his handling of the crisis in Iran?
D-F. This would be a great time to start covertly shipping in money & weapons.

Do you think groups like the Club for Growth that back primary challenges towards Republican candidates they view as insufficiently principled are helping or hurting the conservative cause?
Helping. You reward what you want to see more of.

Would you vote for an atheist for President?
Yes. As long as he was a capitalist.

Do you believe, as a general rule, that conservatives are more moral than liberals?
Yes. I reach that decision by asking myself "if I lost my wallet, and I could choose one of two people to find it, but all I knew was that one was a conservative and one was a liberal, which one do I think would be more likely to return it with all the money still inside?"

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MEME!

Amanda of Sleeping in Sydney tagged me with this about 6 months ago, and I'm finally getting around to it (rules modified for my convenience)

The rules:
1. Post the rules on your blog.
2. Tell 7 5 random things about yourself.
3. Tag 7 3 people at the end of your post.
4. Pass on the tag.

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1) My laptop (IBM Thinkpad T30) has both a TrackPoint finger control and a touchpad. I use a wireless USB wheelmouse.

2) I tried growing catnip indoors over the winter. Worked pretty well for about 3 months until I left the door to my room open and the cats ate everything right down to the roots. I'm growing it outdoors now until next winter.

3) Remember the cat-paddling video?:

Amber has the same reaction. I'm in no position to judge someone else's pleasure preferences, though.

4) I hate reality TV shows. The endless in-show recaps, the over-extended pauses before someone answers a question or reveals a choice, the hyper-dramatic music, and the way they cut to contestants verbally describing their reactions to "surprises" when we JUST saw them bugging their eyes and dropping their jaws. Oh, and the clumsy product placements. The only one I don't hate is Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, mostly because it's not elimination-style, and the people he screams obscenities at are desperately deserving of having obscenities screamed at them.

5) I believe that Unskippable is an acceptable substitute for Mystery Science Theater 3000.

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Next victims:

Blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only!

Hapkido of Crunch Time

Hetero life-partner Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks

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LIFE, THE UNIVERSE, AND MY BIRTHDAY

I turn 42 on September 14th, but I'll be away from my computer for a while, so this is (and will remain, until I post something else) the official "Harv is 42" birthday post, upon which you may leave your gifties and congratulatorianisms, commencing immediately.

This year, my thematic request is quotes from Douglas Adams.

If you don't know why this is appropriate, just Google the number.

Anyway, I'll start:

"a cupful of liquid that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea."

I don't know why, but that description never fails to tickle me giddy.

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5 YEARS

From my first post until this one.

Give or take a few hours.

To help me celebrate, you can leave a comment for me, and include a link to something that's either "delightful" or "disturbing". You don't have to mention which it's supposed to be.

I'll start:

Pictures of naked women. But they're in famous works of art, so it's actually intellectual and classy. But the entire montage is to stripper music.

I found it delightful.

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5 YEARS ALREADY?

Well, no, not quite yet.

That would be Saturday, June 21st, 2008, which is five years after Saturday, June 21st, 2003.

Early Saturday, I will have a blogiversary post for you to leave comments on. Here's my request for gifts:

Leave a link to something that's either "delightful" or "disturbing", but don't mention which it is in your comment.

Surprises are fun.

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85 EXACTLY! I WIN!

Blogson Andrew of Custos Honor tagged me with this one (edited slightly):

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SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 movies, you have no life.

Mark the ones you've seen. Copy this list, check the movies you've seen, add them up, and include the number in your post title.

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(x)Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x)Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
() Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
() Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
() Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
() Never Been Kissed
() Meet The Parents
() Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG
Total so far: 10

() A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
() Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
() The Ring
() The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 13

() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
() Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
() Ghost Ship
() From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
() I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 17

() The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
() Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
() Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
() The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 22

() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
() Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
() Bourne Supremecy
() Lone Star
() Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
() The Fog
(x) Ice Age
() Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total so far: 27

(x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
() Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
() Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
() Rush Hour
() Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 32

() Best Bet
() How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
() She's All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks!
() Event Horizon
() Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
() Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 38

(x) X-Men
(x) X2
() X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
() Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
() Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
() Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
(x) Shrek 3
Total so far: 46

() Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
() Old School
() The Notebook
() K-Pax
() Kippendorf's Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
() The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 47

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 53

() Baseketball
() Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
(x) Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History X
() Three
Total so Far: 56

() The Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
() Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
() Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
(x) Willard
Total so far: 60

() High Tension
() Club Dread
(x) Hulk
() Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days later
(x) Orgazmo
(x) Phantasm
( ) Waterworld
Total so far: 65

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
() Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() The Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
(x) Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 69

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 75

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
(x) Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
(x) Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal

Final total: 85

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Next victims:

Contagion of Miasmatic Review
That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom
_Jon of We Swear
Physics Geek
Shaun & Joey of Cheap Shot Entertainment (they're young, but they're both film students - I expect a good score).
Sarah of That's Not Very Nice!

By the way, if any of the above actually do this, please drop a link in the comments to this post. I'm old, and I don't get around my blogroll like I used to. Gosh durn lumbago, ya know.

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GIFTHORSE DENTISTY

Something I wrote at IMAO wound up getting linked on the sidebar of Ann Coulter's web site (January 9).

[140k screenshot for posterity]

Color me bemused. I can't imagine how she found it. Although she probably has interns to comb the web for sidebar fluff, so I doubt it's actually personally approved.

Still, I'm a little embarrassed by this link. When I wrote that piece, I didn't END it so much as... just quit writing... because I was tired from my day job. I told myself comforting procrastinators mottos like "It won't get posted for a couple days [IMAO has a scheduled-post feature that actually works, unlike the still-broken one here], so I can put a little polish on it tomorrow", and "it doesn't really matter if it's good or not, the audience is forgiving of the occasional near-miss".

Then it winds up with a celebrity endorsement.

It's like dashing out to the grocery store in your sweats & bad-hair-day hair, and being accosted by a CNN reporter and her camera crew.

On the bright side, it turns out that Ann Coulter doesn't have anywhere NEAR the site traffic that you'd suspect a crudely-entertaining, political bomb-throwing polemicist like her would have, so it wasn't as humiliating as, say, being Instalanched would've been.

Small favors. I'm grateful for them.

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ROUGH WEEK

In accordance with Harvey's Law, I'm posting again after saying I wouldn't post jack anymore.

Just gotta vent a bit.

The week in Jamaica was awesome and the 7 days of drunken nudity really hit the spot.

However, when I returned to work on Wednesday morning after getting home at 10:30 Tuesday night, I discovered that my lazy/incompentent coworkers had decided that keeping the computer system updated on the vault's cash transaction was "optional" because they were "busy".

And they hadn't balanced the vault once during my absence (supposed to be every day).

Starting Wednesday, and including Saturday, I put in 60 hours over 4 days unfucking everything that got fucked up while I was on vacation.

When I left, the vault was a well-oiled machine. When I got back, it was Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang.

BEFORE Caractacus Potts started working on it.

After Monday (another 15 hour day), everything was unfucked.

Of course, due to the holiday, we've got to cram 5 days worth of work in to 4 days. I expect it's gonna be another busy week.

However, after the 7th, there aren't any more bank holidays until Memorial Day, so I may actually get to work normal human hours at some point.

Wish me luck.

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NEW YEAR, NEW DIRECTION

After over 4 years of blogging at Bad Money & Bad Example, it looks like I'll be doing things very differently after January 1st.

Now, I'm not pulling some kind of Rachel Lucas, claiming that I'll be checking out of the blogosphere, but recent changes in my life situation require that I set some priorities and make some choices. Not necessarily easy ones, but ones that I feel will be best for me in the long run.

Couple things driving this, and stemming mainly from a very relaxing vacation where I took some time to think thinks over in a setting where I wasn't beset by pressures & deadlines.

First, my day job - which I really do enjoy - is asking for about 60 hours a week on the clock, plus 7-8 hours of non-quality windshield time. There's just not much left over.

So what to do with it...

In my years of blogging, I've tried a lot of different projects - King of the Blogs blog reviews, running the Alliance of Free Blogs, Graffiti Currency, Love Notes, Precision Guided Humor, Filthy Lies, smutty innunendo, raising blogkids, hosting comment parties, and assorted knick-knackery. I've learned and grown from all of it. It's had an inestimable effect on the person I've become, and I don't regret any of it.

Perhaps the biggest event/process was becoming a paid contributor to IMAO, after starting off as a lowly fan-boi with no sense of humor and a lot of admiration for the comedy stylings of Frank J.

When I started blogging, I had no idea that I could actually write humor pieces. I think there was always a bit of fantasy that I could parlay my blog into some sort of paid daily column, but it was kind of iffy, at best. However, these days, I find myself more or less doing just that. I write 5 days a week at IMAO, usually original satirical political pieces, and I find myself thoroughly enjoying the constant reader feedback. Its very emotionally satisfying. More so, even, than my day job.

Looking toward the future, I don't want to be doing my day job in 10 years, but I wouldn't mind writing for IMAO, or some other paid, published vehicle. Unfortunately, any efforts that I put into regularly posting at Bad Example will inevitably interfere with that.

So it looks as though something has to give, and it will be my posting here.

There will be no more daily features at Bad Example.

Posting here will not cease, but it will become an afterthought, receiving only those entries which niggle at my brain too much to be silent about, but which don't fit the mold at IMAO.

In short, Bad Example will become, essentially, a blog about nothing, lacking theme, substance, and goal.

Not shut down so much as not maintained.

I will be focussing what little time & energy I have to spare at IMAO, where I expect to continue posting five days a week.

I have to say that dedicating my life to writing political satire (or at least cruel, derisive, anti-leftist polemics), isn't necessarily my primary career choice. Frankly, politics and current events can be a bore. However, I find that I do enjoy the raw challenge of taking a news story and twisting it in my head until it yields up a humorous angle. It's not always easy, but the mental gymnastics required DO pay off with a certain amount of psychic satisfaction that is both rare and precious. It would be nice to dedicate my writing talents to building up and supporting causes which are good, but there's also value in mocking, belittling, and knocking away the smug, self-satisfied importance of ideas which, I believe, would do this nation great damage if they were to be given general credence. For example, it'd be nice to propose a practical, free-market based health care system, but it's also good to mock a government-run system by pointing out that it would have the customer-service anti-mentality of the US Post Office combined with the soulless inefficiency of the DMV. There's all kinds of fun to be had in stomping the cockroaches of leftist dogma.

Still, I can't help thinking of what I'll lose with this decision. There will be little to no time for surfing my blogroll (not that there HAS been for the last few months), and there will be the inevitable drifting apart from the friends I've made in the on-line world over the last few years. I won't be able to keep up with everyone's blogs, and I fear that we'll wind up as strangers or mere passing acquaintances. The potential for loss tears at me, despite the fact that I recognize it as an inevitable price.

Yet I know that I'll still be able to keep in touch, here and there, and I take strong comfort in the knowledge that my blogkids have all turned out well, and become strong, talented bloggers in their own rights. I must trust them to raise and guide their own blogchildren and bloggrandchildren to the best of their ability. The apron strings have long frayed away and I can look out with pride to see the bloggers they've become.

On the bright side, I know I will still be able to enjoy the physical company of those bloggers in my local sphere. The Illinois-Wisconsin border will continue to be a gathering place for good times, great minds and wonderful company. I hope that it will become more so with each passing year.

So for now, it's less posting here, more at IMAO, and as for the future, we'll just have to see where it takes us. Wherever it leads, I can only hope that it will be as much fun as as the past.

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WHY LOVE NOTES?

Blogdaughter Michele of Letters from New York City asks about my Daily Love Notes:

Do you continue to do this because you want to or because you promised yourself or someone else you would?

Also, do you ever force yourself to write one because either we (your readers) or your wife or you might be disappointed if you don't?

Actually, I wrote 365 Love Notes between July and October of 2006 when I was still working at the pizza place & had a lot of "sitting on my ass time" to play with. I planned to publish them here every day in 2007.

I started writing them again in July of 2007, but at the end of the month, I got this new job. The thing about this job is that, although it's not physically taxing, I have to stay sharply mentally focussed for the whole time I'm there, which is generally 10-12 hours a day, five days a week. Outside of that time, it's hard to find the will, much less the desire, to focus on anything at all, because I feel so drained.

I stopped composing new Love Notes in mid-August because they just weren't flowing right, and forcing it wasn't helping.

My original intent with the first batch of Notes was to publish them in a book and then buy an island in the Bahamas with the royalties, but I didn't know how to go about doing that (the publishing, not the island-buying), had no one to ask, and found that nearly all information sources on the topic dealt with publishing either novels or "how to" types of non-fiction. Self-publishing is out because I know my limitations, and self-promotion is not something I do well. So I contented myself with posting them here, just so I could have the satisfaction of letting other people enjoy them.

As for disappointment... well, there's certainly some of that involved. I've always believed I can write ANYTHING if I try hard enough, but after composing over 400 little love-bites, it's amazingly difficult to avoid repetition. Add in my mostly-missing energy level and my all-too-short time for recreational writing, and it's just not a mountain I can climb anymore.

So I'm not sure what I'm going to do after the end of the year. I may start posting the ones I have for 2008 and then start trying to write one a day to finish out the year. Or I may just let it go after December 31st. I don't know yet.

Not a very satisfying answer, but it's all I've got. We'll just have to wait & see.

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COURTESY LINK

Right Wing News did another Rightosphere Temperature Check, of which I was a part.

Here's the long version of my answers:

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Do you support or oppose:

1) SCHIP expansion that was vetoed by Bush.
Oppose - I'd like my health care system to come with a label that says "Now 99 44/100% Government Free!". Anything that doesn't move us from where we are now to that goal goes straight to the dumpster.

2) Law of the Sea treaty.
Oppose - I can't believe this communist-fantasy piece of crap is still around. The whole "if you want to mine the oceans, you have to share the wealth with third-world shithole nations because they CAN'T mine the oceans."

F*** that.

3) Hate crime laws.
Oppose - Crime is crime. Punishing someone more because of his skin color seems like a violation of Equal Protection to me.

4) Gay marriage.
Oppose - Gay marriage has nothing to do with love & commitment, it has to do with health insurance & Social Security benefits.

If you love a man and want to have financial & legal entaglements with him, have a lawyer write up some reciprocal wills & powers of attorney, then refer to yourselves as "married" in public. Same damn thing.

5) Using the following enhanced interrogation techniques on captured foreign terrorists: stress positons, sleep deprivation, and waterboarding.
Support - whatever it takes to win the war.

6) The war on drugs.
Oppose - Prohibition creates more crime, violence, and human misery than it prevents. Anti-drug peer pressure from churches, family members, and social organizations is the correct tool for minimizing drug use, not the brute sledgehammer of law enforcement.

7) Congressional term limits.
Support - I like it better when my lawmakers haven't been in office long enough to develop the connections necessary to game the system. Constant turnover will make Congress weak, confused, and ineffectual, which is how I prefer the people who try to run my life.

8) Some form of Balanced Budget Amendment.
Oppose - I prefer my government to spend less than it steals in taxes, but you can't write a law that the lawyers on the Hill can't weasel out of. A BBA is an exercise in futility.

9) School vouchers.
Support - I would prefer my school system completely supported by tuitions instead of taxes, but anything that loosens the stranglehold of government control is a step in the right direction.

10) The Missile Defense Program.
Support - I've never met an incoming enemy missile that I wouldn't prefer to have shot down by an American one.

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APPARENTLY MY MUSE IS MISNAMED

Remember my idea-lemur Bosco?

[Bosco wielding Pointy Stick O' Inspiration]

Turns out his REAL name is hypergraphia.

[Hat tip: American Digest]

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A LITTLE MORE ABOUT MY MID-BLOG CRISIS

I'm used to the 12-hour days. I'm not tired at work, and I'm not bored. It's challenging - but not overly so - to my organizational and communication skills.

The thing is, I only have so much time outside the job, and I can either spend it copying, pasting, and cross-posting, OR I can spend it WRITING.

I've chosen the former three out of habit for a long time.

Now I'm choosing the latter.

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BEFORE I BURN OUT COMPLETELY

So, I've been working about 12 hour days for the last few weeks, plus toss in about 45 minutes (each way) commute time.

I'm exhausted all week, and it takes me half the weekend to feel human enough to even start doing any blogging, and by then, it's Sunday, and it's time to get ready for work on Monday.

I need a break.

So for starters, I'm cutting out the recycling, the copycatting, and the cross-posting at Bad Example.

No more Graffiti Currency - it's all in the archives anyway.

No more Dirty Minds Quiz - that's just typing somebody else's words from a page, which feels tedious.

No more cross-posting from IMAO - you want political humor, you know where to go. And I've heard that some load-time issues got fixed, so you don't have to wait an entire day for the front page to show up.

I *am* keeping the Daily Love Notes (for now) because I still have 3 more months worth written. Don't know if I'm continuing it next year or not.

The rest will be... whatever I'm in the mood to write.

Or not, as the case may be.

We'll see what happens.

PS Not saying I'll NEVER post in the above categories again, just saying they won't be daily features any more, because doing them daily has become not-fun.

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BAD EXAMPLE'S BLOGGER BOOBIE BIRTHDAY BASH BONANZA - UPDATED 9-16-07

(click to enlarge)

Just wanted to show off some of my presents.

First, those who gave me exactly what I wanted:

Richmond of One for the Road who actually brought me a voluminous set of boobs covered in frosting, which I enjoyed nibbling on. It's the GOOD frosting too. The kind with so much sugar it makes your head buzz. I *love* that stuff.

Lynn of Violins & Starships who gave me something artistic AND indecent.

Pam of Pamibe whose motto is apparently "go big or go home".

Bloggranddaughter Ktreva of The Reality Ranch found a picture of that bra I designed.

Bloggranddaughter Mrs. Who of House of Zathras does a little 80's retro.

Blogstump Contagion of Miasmatic Review offers flashing footballs and a football fan.

Bloggranddaughter VW bug of One Happy Dog Speaks went dress shopping.

Bloggreatgranddaughter Tink of Tink's Tribulations combines Polish women, water, and a glass shower stall. Now THAT'S a recipe for fun [Hat tip to Pan].

Speaking of showers, Leslie of Leslie's Omnibus has a faucet upgrade.

Rachel of Pereiraville shows off some body paint. Hope it's edible.
Oh, and a cheery little birthday ditty, too.

Blogdaughter Teresa of Technicalities has a picture that makes me wonder how to spell that sound I make when I shove my face between a pair of boobs and shake my head back and forth rapidly.

Blogdaughter Machelle of Quality Weenie has a shot of a woman who may shop for shoes, but never gets to enjoy them afterwards.

Blogdaughter Oddybobo has a shot of the woman who did more in the 90's to revive leather fetishism than any other human being.

Bloggreatgrandson Spurs of Pull My Finger apparently thinks I smell bad, because he left me some cologne.

Blogdaughter Michele of Letters From New York City offers boobs for a cause.

Roses of ACK! THBBBT! has a couple... um... what was I talking about?

Blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only! was too shy to post an interesting video on the virtues of Nissan's vehicle construction. Fortunately, shyness is not one of my vices.

---

And here are the well-wishers, in the sense that they didn't wish me any specific harm:

Sandor (formerly of The Zoo and creator of the Blogosphere Political Compass Project) bought me a Great Scotch (per the Amazon donation list) and asked me to spend it on beer. Guess that means I should buy Guinness with it.

Blogdaughter/niece Sarah of That's Not Very Nice! is a little "fuzzy" on the concept of how to properly fill a bra.

Susie of Practial Penumbra - who I understand a lot better, now that I'm working 12-hour days.

Frank J of IMAO who - in a very un-Stan-Lee-like moment, revealed my secret identity.

My co-worker Yvonne - who doesn't know about this blog - had the bad timing to ask me when my birthday was on Thursday. It was a direct question, so I couldn't lie. Anyway, she bought me this Homer Simpson birthday balloon, even though she's only known me for about 2 weeks:

Blogdaughter Skippy of Boudicca's Voice.

The apparently blogless Temujin.

Blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World who was boob-blocked by her work computer.

The apparently blogless Fast Eddie - same story.

Blogson Peter of Shakey Pete's Shootin' Shack, who foolishly assumed that boobs have an expiration date.

Phelps of The Everlasting Phelps mocked my age, but I think he's just bitter because I told him to get off my lawn.

Blogson That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom, who somehow thought that Faith No More had something to do with breasts.

Jerry of Back Home Again.

Supergurl

---

Finally, my two favorite comments from the many left on my IMAO birthday post:

_Jon of We Swear:

"ass"

KT Cat of The Scratching Post:

"On this day, we celebrate wildly for without your birth our lives would be as cold, dead ashes in a gutter filled with rotting leaves and some other gunky stuff that has worms swimming in it if you look at it under a microscope.

With you, there's not so many of those wormy doodads."

And finally finally, this cartoon has nothing to do with my birthday, but it kinda describes what it was like putting this post together.

Just wanted to thank everyone who participated. This is what makes getting older worth it.

NOTE: If I missed your contribution or there's a typo or screwed up permalink, just give a holler in the comments.

UPDATE 1:15 PM - Blogson Mike the Marine of From the Halls to the Shores threw a Guinness & ran away.

UPDATE 9 PM - T1G tries again, does better.

UPDATE 9-16-07 - Joan of Primordial Slack offers the firmest boobs I've ever seen.

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A MORE TRADITIONAL BIRTHDAY REQUEST THIS YEAR

My birthday is September 14th. I'll be turning 41.

On Friday, I will have a post up that you can link to to help me celebrate.

This year's theme... Boobs.

Specifically adult human female breasts.

Pictures, videos, discussions, jokes, games, anecdotes... whatever.

Post something, then leave a link in the comments (or e-mail it to me at harvolson-at-gmail.com) and I'll post a big round-up of your thoughtful gifts on Saturday.

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FOR A WHILE THERE, I DIDN'T THINK I'D GET MY 50 HOURS IN THIS WEEK - UPDATED 11PM

That's right. 50 freakin' hours at work during this 4-day week.

Looks like the trend may continue for a while, so weekends will probably be the only times I can keep in touch.

If you don't hear from me Monday thru Friday, don't take it personally.

UPDATE 11PM - I'd like to clarify that I'm not complaining. The fact is, my supervisor puts in at least an hour more per day than I do, and sometimes more.

Not only does he have the same 45 minute (one way) commute time I do, and he has a wife like I do, he also has a kid like I don't.

Makes it really hard to feel sorry for myself when I'm watching the guy work his guts out like that.

If he's not gonna whine about it, I'm not gonna either.

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RIGHTOSPHERE TEMPERATURE CHECK

Now posted at Right Wing News.

Some explanations for my answers:

1) Should we re-institute the draft?
Not only no, but HELL no. If a government can't get a sufficient all-volunteer force to fight its wars, then either the war isn't worth fighting or the government needs to offer more pay & bennies to entice people to sign up.

The draft is a form of slavery. You don't do that to free men.

2) Would you like to overturn the "don't ask, don't tell" policy in the military in order to allow gays to serve openly?
No. Straight teenage soldiers are still teenagers and operate under a teenager's code of machismo. I think it's too much to ask them to curb their animosity towards homosexuality. I saw what it did to morale when someone on my ship was accidentally outed. It does NOT make for unit cohesion.

3) Would you favor replacing our current tax system with the Fair Tax, a flat tax, or a national sales tax?
No. Eliminate it, replace it with nothing, and cut social(ist) spending programs. Income tax is NOT the only source of Federal income, and if the Feds only did their Constitutionally authorized activities (such as national defense), the budget wouldn't need income tax revenue to pay the bills.

4) Would you like to see Gitmo closed down?
No. I want it filled to the brim with terrorists. Who should be tortured until they give up all their useful information, and then executed.

5) Would you like to see the Patriot Act repealed?
No. Despite a LOT of bitching from the left, I've yet to hear of any court case challenging the constitutionality of any provision of the Patriot Act. Until I hear of it being used as an excuse for unconstitutional actions, I support it as an essential tool for fighting the War on Terror.

6) How would you say the national economy is doing?
A) Good or excellent shape
B) Fair shape
C) Poor or terrible shape
A - I've got a good job and my stock purchases are gaining in value. Speaking as a microcosm of the national economy, things are great.

7) Karl Rove is planning to retire this month. Overall do you think that Rove has been
A) an enormous benefit to Republicans and his loss will definitely hurt the GOP.
B) so-so as a political strategist.
C) completely overrated and bad for the GOP overall.
A - He makes liberals wet themselves with fear and/or anger. What's not to love?

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NEW JOB

So, I quit my pizza delivery gig, and am now working as a Vault Teller for a company that services ATM's.

Basically, I hand huge piles of money to armored car drivers in the morning, put away the stuff they brought in from the night before, get the new huge piles of money ready to go out the next morning, and check in the returning drivers' slightly-less-huge piles of cash when they return from their routes.

Good news: my work space is air-conditioned, I get to play with (literally) millions of dollars, there are VERY few dull moments, and it pays about 15% better than that asshole bank that fired me a couple years back.

Bad news: 45 minute commute each way, and I'm currently pulling 10-11 hour days once I get there.

Silver lining: lots of overtime pay, and weekends off.

Dark cloud: not a lot of time for the blogging I want to do here at Bad Example, since I spend a good chunk of what little free time I have fulfilling my contractual obligations over at IMAO.

However, so far I'm still managing to juggle everything. We'll see how long I can keep it up before something gives.

Oh, and if you see someone driving down I-90 trying to scribble blog-post ideas into a notebook at 65 mph, give a wave, because it's probably me.

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POSTING SMUGLY

I am smarter than 99.20% of the rest of the world.
Find out how smart you are.

25/25. Don't think too hard about them.

[Hat tip: Lynn of A Sweet, Familiar Dissonance]

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HARD TO NARROW THIS ONE DOWN, BUT...

Bloggreatgranddaughter Tink of Tink's Tribulations muses over the following question:

What advice would you give to your younger self?

"Do your homework."

If I'd followed that bit of wisdom, I could have easily graduated near the top of my high school class.

If I'd also handed myself a copy of "The Lively Art of Writing", (preferably somewhere in the 4th grade) I would've been AT the top. As it was, I didn't run across it until my Senior year. It was the book from which I first learned how to write essays, and it completely changed my life. Until then, I'd had now idea that there were actually learnable techniques to writing, and the bastards in charge of my public education never told me any different.

I'm still bitter about that.

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WOULD YOU HAVE SURVIVED IN THE MIDDLE AGES?

Shamus of Twenty-Sided asks:

How long would you have lived in the middle ages? Ignore all the general risks - like typhoid or the plague or cholera - that everyone would have faced in general. Let’s assume you were lucky and missed those. (Unless by some chance you actually DID face one of them in your life.) Also ignore the fact that your deadly injury might have been caused by modern technology, like an auto accident. Just pretend you were trampled by a horse or something. So, given the injuries and illness you’ve faced in your life so far: Did you make it? Would you have survived to your current age?

Probably.

The only time I've been under the knife was for hernia surgery, and it wasn't a particularly bad one. Probably something I could've lived with, although I imagine eventually it would've strangulated and killed me.

Although I've benefitted from antibiotics, I'm pretty sure they've only shortened my suffering, not saved my life.

So I'm thinking I'd be alive, but looking like I was 70 instead of 40.

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ELMO MUST DIE!

You Are Oscar the Grouch

Grumpy and grouchy, you aren't just pessimistic. You revel in your pessimism. You are usually feeling: Unhappy. Unless it's rainy outside, and even then you know the foul weather won't last. You are famous for: Being mean yet loveable. And you hate the loveable part. How you life your life: As a slob. But it's not repelling as many people as you'd like!

[Hat tip: Blogless Brother, who was too chicken to post his own results.]

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I MAKE AYN RAND LOOK LIKE FREAKIN' V.I. LENIN

You Are 100% Capitalist, 0% Socialist

You're a capitalist pig - and proud of it. You believe that business makes the world great... And you'd never be ashamed of being rich!

[hat tip: Leslie's Omnibus]

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HAS IT BEEN...

Four years already?

Huh... I guess it has.

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RIGHTOSPHERE TEMPERATURE CHECK - LONG VERSION

John Hawkins of Right Wing News polled a bunch of right wing bloggers (including me) on various issues and has posted the not-too-surprising results. Here's the explanations for my choices:

1) Are you pleased that the Senate immigration bill did not pass?
Yes - The only immigration bill we need is a big-ass fence and a removal of perks for non-citizens.

2) Do you think Mel Martinez has been an effective RNC chairman?
No - Democrats don't wet themselves in fear at the mention of his name.

3) Do you believe that we should be willing to use the US military to stop the fighting in Sudan?
No - Not unless they have strategic resources like oil, or if it would be helpful to establish military bases there to prosecute the War on Terror.

4) Do you think that the Bush administration or CIA knew that 9/11 was coming and deliberately did nothing to stop it or alternately, helped execute the 9/11 attacks?
No - I've never seen any evidence to support either theory.

5) Do you believe that President Bush intends to merge the United States with Canada and Mexico in order to form a North American Union?
No - If anything, we're going in the opposite direction, since they're imposing passport requirements to visit those countries. Although personally, I wouldn't mind inviting Canada to become States 51-60. They're civilized and technologically advanced enough to fit in fairly well plus they speak English.

6) How would you rate the relationship of the Republican party with its conservative base right now?
Poor - Where's my tax cuts? Where's my cheap, stolen oil? Where's my piles of dead terrorists?

7) Which 2008 Republican presidential candidate do you think is most likely to win the Republican nomination. So, this is not your favorite candidate, it's the candidate you think will come out on top.
Rudy Giuliani - Not who I want to win, but pending any dirt or disgrace, he seems pretty solid. I currently have no reason to believe that Fred Thompson will overtake him, but then again, Fred hasn't officially announced, yet, so this may change.

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FRICK! MEMED AGAIN!

1389 of 1389 Mobile Blog whacked me via e-mail with the following:

Players start with 8 random facts about themselves. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts. Players should tag eight other people and notify them that they have been tagged.

I'm feeling lazy, so you'll get 5 random facts and 3 taggees. Victims may either play by the original rules, my rules, or just make up their own damn rules.

Hey... it's a free internet.

---

1) I screen my calls. If I don't recognized your name/number on the Caller ID, you WILL talk to the answering machine. However, if I recognize your voice, I'll pick up.

Note to callers: "Hey, it's me" is not helpful. Please use your name.

2) I once traded a coffee pot for a Koosh Ball. I still have the Koosh ball. It's green & purple.

3) I once traded a high-mileage '85 Honda Accord hatchback (which sustained major front end damage in an accident, but ran fine) for a Braun coffee grinder. I still have the coffee grinder.

I also kept the car. As it turned out, the guy who gave me the coffee grinder never filed for a new title. The guy HE sold it to never filed for a new title either. THAT guy abandoned it in the parking lot of a Goodwill store. Since it was still in my name, I got a parking ticket and had to arrange for the car's removal. Sadly, the car was no longer running fine, and I let some salvage yard scavenger keep the wreck in exchange for towing it.

4) I don't like Maglites for two reasons; first, turning the lens counterclockwise to turn the light on feels WRONG. If you want a light to come on, you should turn it clockwise - like screwing a bulb into a socket.

Second, unlike thumb-switch lights, after you turn on a Maglite, your hand is not in a comfortable carrying position. You have to adjust your grip, which either requires using your other hand or involves an awkward finger-shuffling maneuver.

I prefer the grab-thumb-go type of flashlight.

5) I miss Jim Henson

Next Victims... I feel like picking on the new kids:

Matthew of Maybe Baby

Bruce of Back to the Batcave

Maranda Rites of Maranda Under Stress

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WISH SOMEONE WOULD'VE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS

While idly checking my links on Technorati, I found out that I was nominated for the Blogger Halo Award for being a blogger:

"who has not only created a vital up-to-the minute blog with a sizable readership and dedication to excellence, but this blogger would have gone way beyond the call of duty by demonstrating a selfless commitment to help other bloggers solve their blogging problems."

Unfortunately, the voting ended January 8th, and I came in neither first nor second.

I totally could've whipped up 77 votes for this. I feel SO Al Gore.

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UNOFFICIAL THEME SONG

If this blog had an official theme song, it'd be Warren Zevon's "Mr. Bad Example" (link courtesy of Straight White Eric).

If it had an unofficial theme song, it'd be The Holy Modal Rounders "Boobs A Lot":

Yeah, it's a horrible earworm, but it's got boobs, so that makes it ok.

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WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG FOR A LITTLE SELF-CONGRATULATORY BACK-PATTING

5000 posts at Bad Example.

Yeah, I need to get a life.

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THE FIFTEEN MINUTES I ALWAYS WANTED

NOTE: This post is purely self-congratualtory twaddle and is quite likely of interest to no one except the author. If you get bored, just click away. Don't feel obligated to comment just because you're here.

On the other hand, maybe you've been in a similar position. In which case, say whatever's on your mind.

When I first started blogging, I had a dream - more of a pre-conceived notion really - that one day hundreds of people would read my blog and go "OO! Look at this brilliantly-written post!".

As it turned out, those hundreds of people were actually dozens, they came one at a time, and none of them were actually all that blown away at what they read. But they at least found my writing amusing enough to want to come back for more. After a while, a lot of them didn't even come for the writing, they came because they liked me as a person. The writing was secondary.

I've been blogging for almost four years now, and at this point in my evolution, most of the folks who stop by do it because of who I am, and not what I write.

And it's good to be loved, and it's good to have a circle of friends who give a damn.

The downside to this, of course, is that when one of these friends links something I wrote, I have to wonder... how much of this is liking the writing, and how much is liking the writer? To which question there can never be an honest answer.

So it makes me question whether my writing is worth a crap on it's own, or if I'm strictly getting by on charm.

What I've always wanted was to write something that got picked up, passed around, "oo"-ed & "ah"-ed over, and generally admired WITHOUT my having to lift a finger to do any self-promotion.

That's never really happened. Sometimes I've written stuff that I thought was very good, but in order to get it noticed, I've had to e-mail links. Other times I've written something clever, then posted it at IMAO where it would get some attention (heck, even got a link from the Puppy Blender over there once), but then I have to wonder how much of that attention was due to the sweet cachet of the IMAO brand name, which owes it's value principally to Frank J.'s comedic talents.

Recently, however, something happened to validate me that can only be attributed to good writing, and it feels heavenly.

Last Saturday, I posted a entry at IMAO called "I Am Huff Po". When I'd first conceived of it a couple days prior, it occurred to me that - if I did it right - it might resonate with a lot of people and actually generate a lot of traffic. I waited all weekend for some reaction after posting it, but outside of a few (VERY few) comments, the piece seemed largely ignored.

*sigh*

So after 40 hours of gathering dust, I do what I do with a lot of my IMAO posts - I cross-posted it at Bad Example for the benefit of those readers (friends, actually) who can't stand the insanely-long load times at IMAO.

And that's when it happened.

Blake of Laughing Wolf - a friend and reader - posted a link to the version of "I Am Huff Po" that I'd posted at Bad Example. Not at his relatively low-traffic personal site, but at the highly-visible Blackfive.

Which was VERY cool, but I didn't take it to be necessarily a reflection on the quality of the piece, since I know Blake, and that could taint his objectivity.

And that's when it REALLY happened.

Michelle Malkin linked to Bad Example. Not only linked, but linked as an update at the TOP of the post (she usually updates at the bottom).

Little Green Footballs linked to Bad Example. Not only linked, but with the enthusiastic phrase "dead-on parody alert". I also noticed that it got 156 Diggs. Now, I'm not exactly sure what a Digg is, except that it can be used as a relative measure of the post's popularity. Considering that most LGF posts get under 100 of them, I take this as favorable feedback.

JihadWatch linked to Bad Example with the giddily ego-boosting description "a terrific parody of/addendum to Michelle Malkin's magnificent "I am John Doe" piece, skewering the Huffington Post's willfully clueless Leftist jihad enablers."

It popped up on the GWRRA message board.

Bookworm Room said "hilariously funny [...] Read it and laugh."

Someone even put it on an Investor Village message board.

It's probably in some other places, too, but Sitemeter only gives me the last 100 refers, so that's all I know about.

The point is this. None of these people know me or like me or owe me anything or mistakenly think they're linking to something Frank J wrote. This praise isn't for me as a person, or for me as a member of IMAO, it's strictly for what I wrote.

I can't begin to express how good - how reassuring - this feels.

The funny thing is that people who read the posts that linked me are all going to wonder the same thing - "Who is this 'Bad Harvey' fella? I've never heard of him. Must be some overnight sensation."

Overnight... yeah...

2000+ posts at Bad Money

1000+ posts at Alliance HQ

5000- posts at Bad Example

100+ Precision Guided Humor posts spent honing my politically-oriented comedic ear

4- years of averaging 5+ posts a day.

Overnight...

Anyway, yeah... it feels good.

Now if the Puppy Blender will just put down his hobo-filleting knife long enough to toss a link my way, I could die happy.

UPDATE: Hot Air says "well played".

Redstate says "Read on via the link. It's worth it!" and describes it as a "riposte".

Blonde Sagacity says "Must Read!"

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EXPANDING MY HORIZONS

I'm looking for some unserious reading material.

So tell me - what are your favorite web-based comic strips?

And before you ask, here's my list:

Indexed

Unshelved

User Friendly

Sluggy Freelance (really best to start at the beginning with this one)

Pearls Before Swine

Prickly City

Kevin and Kell (don't need to start at the beginning, but the backstory helps)

Day by Day

Shoe

Sheldon

Cox & Forkum

Freefall (start at the beginning)

The Order of the Stick (start at the beginning - and only if you've rolled dice with more than 6 sides before)

Erfworld (ditto)

Full Frontal Nerdity (only updates once a week - which is a shame)

Class Mishaps

Whadda YOU got?

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IS IT STILL MAGIC?

Blogless Brother is reminiscing about how much fun snow used to be when he was a kid (looks like he actually dragged out his spellchecker for this one, so it's a good read).

Since I grew up in the same house with him, I know what he's talking about.

Although he forgot the BEST part of any snowstorm - the 20 ft. tall mountains at the edge of the Sentry Food Store parking lots.

First the big challenge - can you make it to the top? Sometimes it seemed like the steps were built in, and ascension was a matter of seconds. Sometimes you got halfway up and then one leg plunged in up to your nuts. Have fun getting out of THAT hole.

On particularly fortuitous days, there'd be a smooth section where you could lie on your back and slide down. Of course, usually there'd be at least one bumpy spot where you'd dislocate your spine, but since you were just a kid, it'd snap right back into place and you'd be ready to try it again.

Then there was MY favorite hobby - wear smooth-soled shoes, get a running start, then slllliiiiiddddde... with good snow and a smooth undersurface, you might make it 20 feet or so. Of course, if you did it on a sidewalk, you'd likely catch a crack and go stumble-crashing into the ground. Didn't matter. It was just part of the challenge.

Of course, here in my old age, I make sure that my soles have lots of good grip, and anytime I have to walk over snow, it's done at a prudent velocity. Don't want to break a hip, ya know.

And for the most part, snow is just that crap I have to get out of the driveway.

But the magic's not ALL gone.

Because I have a delivery job.

And sometimes, when the streets are empty of cars, but not of snow & ice, and I have to make a delivery to a house on the left side of the street...

...that long-lost 8-year-old's grin re-appears...

Give the car some gas... yank up on the hand-brake... cut the wheel hard left...

Perfect parking job.

And the magic is back.

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MEMEY CHRISTMAS

Looks like blogdaughter Teresa of Technicalities is trying to lose her "Daddy's Favorite" title, because she tagged me with a meme.

Nevertheless, since the obligations of parenthood don't end with birth, I must comply:

UPDATE: Looks like Richmond of One For The Road tagged me with this, too

*puts Richmond on Naughty List*

1.Wrapping paper or gift bags? Duct tape and grocery bags, i.e. "guy wrapping".

2.Real tree or artificial? Artificial - there's something comforting in the ritual of setting up the same tree every year.

3.When do you put up the tree? Sometime between Thanksgiving & early December.

4.When do you take the tree down? Early January.

5.Do you like eggnog? ANYTHING is good with enough booze in it.

6.Favorite gift you received as a child? A slot car racing set.

7.Do you have a nativity scene? No.

8.Hardest person to buy for? Beloved Wife. Someday I'll remember to take notes on those little hints she drops all year.

9.Easiest person to buy for? Brother Tom. Anything computer-related is good.

10.Mail or email Christmas cards? Possibly e-mail. Usually I don't even bother with that. Either I care about you enough to contact you more than once a year, or I don't care about you at all.

11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received? The Peanut Butter & Jelly board game. I don't think I even played it once.

12.Favorite Christmas movie? The Nightmare Before Christmas.

13.When do you start shopping? Mid-December.

14.Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No. I just throw them away.

15.Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Marshmallow Fluff fudge. Dad only made it once a year. Wish he didn't always put walnuts in it.

16.Clear lights or colored on the tree? Colored. And blinking.

17.Favorite Christmas song? "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas", sung low and slow by a female vocalist who keeps her vocals understated. Definitely NOT the James Taylor version with that crappy line about "muddling through".

18.Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home.

19.Can you name all of Santa’s Reindeers? Sure: Dasher, Dancer ... Prancer ... Nixon, Comet, Cupid ... Donna Dixon

20.Angel on the tree top or a star? Our angel always shedded feathers. I never liked her. So... star.

21.Open the presents on Christmas Eve or morning? Morning - and we had to wait until after everyone finished breakfast.

22.Most annoying thing about this time of year? Needing to shop for urgent, non-Christmas items at a big box store.

23.Do you have Jebus in your heart this Christmas? I'll see him at Hooters tomorrow. Does that count?

24.What would you like for Christmas? To wake up next to Beloved Wife in the morning, and fall asleep next to her that night.

Next victims:

Let's see... who hasn't posted anything in a while?...:

Sarah of That's Not Very Nice!

Titan of Titan's Lair

TRS of The Rumsfeld Strangler

Linus of Pepper of the Earth

Humble Devildog of Random Firings of Neurons

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YES, I COUNTED AIRPORT LAYOVERS

And I counted Alaska, even though I only got close enough to see the Aleutian Islands from the fantail of the Enterprise.

Looking over the map, I can't help but notice that pretty much ALL of that green is courtesy of the US Navy, although sometimes indirectly - like taking a Greyhound from Wisconsin to San Diego to visit a friend of mine who enlisted in the Navy shortly before I did.

[Stolen from Bloggranddaughter Irishpixie of Pixie Dust Productions, Inc.]

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I'M GOING TO HUG HIM AND SQUEEZE HIM AND CALL HIM GEORGE

So I'm hanging out in the garage Sunday night, relaxing with a cigar. The dogs are out in the back yard, sniffing each other's butts (or whatever they do to amuse themselves), and I hear a moderately audible "ka-chang" sound.

I peek out the back door of the garage to see both Jake and Bandit dashing madly to the right.

"Hmmm... must be a pedestrian walking by with a dog".

*ka-chang*

Dogs dash madly to the left.

"A confused jogger?"

*ka-chang*

Dogs to the right, and I see that they're chasing after a rabbit.

"Ah... well, he'll find a hole under the chain-link fence and be off to freedom."

*ka-chang*

Dogs to the left.

"Ah... apparently this rabbit is particularly stupid, and keeps bouncing off the chain-link fence... Still, as long as he doesn't run behind the shed so that the dogs get on either side of him..."

*ka-chang*

Dogs to the right... on either side of the shed... behind which the rabbit has run.

*Grrrr!*

*squeak!*

*sque-!*

"Ah... the hand of Darwin... or in this case, the paw..."

Jake wanders from behind the shed, rabbit in mouth. Bandit bounces around excitedly, knowing that SOMETHING fun just happened but not really sure what (she's a Border Collie - she just likes herding animals).

Jake plops down by the garage door, oblivious to the rain. He likes to catch & kill critters, but he's not much for eating them. As far as he's concerned, that rabbit is just another fuzzy chew toy - albeit with a broken squeaker.

And like a fuzzy chew toy, it's for just holding in your mouth... until someone offers you a tasty pig's ear in trade.

Good boy, Jake.

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SEE? I'M *NOT* A FREAK! - UPDATED 10:30PM

Bloggrandson-in-law =HC= of House of Zathras mentions this quirk:

I put icecubes in my milk.

And there's more milk-icers in the comments.

For years, Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite has mocked me mercilessly for doing the same thing, treating me as though I was the only person on the planet capable of such deranged behavior.

Looks like this particular fetish may have a larger following than anyone has ever suspected. Come on, you closet milk-icers... fess up.

By the way, =HC=, please consider getting your own blog. Writing talent like yours needs to be showcased, not hidden in comments sections. Read this & think it over.

UPDATE - 10:30 PM: I'm not actually a freak, because I've got an excuse. Four years on the Enterprise where the milk was usually served at room temperature. And keep in mind that - all too often - the temperature of the "room" was also about the temp of the part of the Indian Ocean we were floating around on. Say about 90 degrees.

Warm water, warm milk, warm pop, warm bug juice, warm beer (if we were out to sea long enough)... I developed an obsession with making sure that drinks that are supposed to be served cold are served at the temperature God intended, i.e. just above freezing.

So I'm not really a freak, just scarred.

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ABOUT THAT RUT

Blogson Mike the Marine of From The Halls To The Shores commented:

I hope you've got a good excuse for getting into the "three post rut." -Simpsons, Currency, Love. Repeat.

Conveniently, I do.

As mentioned previously, Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite is the Personal Representative for her late mother's estate, and I've been helping her get things in order.

"Things" meaning mostly cleaning up a house packed with 30 years of accumulated crap, and maintained with some iffy housekeeping & home repair skills. Probably not the WORST maintained home I've ever seen, but anyone who's ever moved after a long stay knows how neglected certain areas can get, and what an effort it can be to get them looking nice again.

The major issue being that we needed to get the house shined up & ready for sale before snow season.

The good news is, we finally finished last week. It's just a matter of getting the house sold now.

Of course, there's still the issue of finding space for all the crap we hauled back to our house - currently packed into boxes crowding all over the living room floor. That'll be eating up time at random intervals.

And we still have to get the leaves raked at the estate house.

Aside from that, though, I should be able to dedicate more time to blogging at Bad Example. I closed down Alliance HQ and Forward This Email, so I'm down to just posting here and at IMAO.

Of course, I'm still working on the Love Notes book, too. I've gotten all 365 notes written, but there's editing & polishing to do.

So, in theory, I should get caught up on my posting this week or next, and be able to post more than just "the rutting three" thereafter. Plus I'll be able to start reading through my blogroll again.

Meanwhile I figured that having three crummy posts a day was better than posting nothing at all.

We'll see how it goes from here.

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NEW CLAN MEMBER?

NEW CLAN MEMBER?

I vouch for the character of Swap Blog because...

...well, they asked me, and they don't suck.

But if for no other reason, there's this:

We listen to both kinds of real music - bluegrass / Celtic and speed metal

According to the rules, they still need two other Bad Example Family members to link their application post before they make the blogroll. Go check 'em out & see if they're worthy.

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IT'S MY 40TH BIRTHDAY!

(This post will stay on top all day. Scroll down to check for new material)

On Wednesday, September 14th, 1966, at 6:06 AM, an eighth child (and seventh son) was born to a couple in a small town in Wisconsin.

Some stuff happened.

Now it's today, and you can help me celebrate. As I mentioned last week, this year's suggested theme is:

"BLUE"

Make of that what you will.

And if you're afraid of getting me something inappropriate, don't be. Seriously - the word doesn't apply to this blog.

If you're posting about this, leave a link in the comments or a trackback (assuming they work) so I'll know who to thank tomorrow.

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IT'S COMING

I'm turning 40 on September 14th. Suggested theme:

"Blue"

It's how I feel about it.

It's my favorite color.

I like Blues music.

Zhaan has a nice rack.

Leave a link in the comments or trackback to this post and I'll collect all the links for a round-up on the 15th.

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STILL BUSY

Have to say I appreciated the guesses. They cheered me up.

Here's the short version:

There's been a death in Beloved Wife TNT's family (sad, but - for various reasons - not necessarily tragic). TNT is the executor of the estate. The deceased did not keep particularly organized financial records, so we're scouring the house trying to find clues to any assets that may exist.

Not an easy task, since the deceased was - and I'm being polite - a bit of a pack rat. So that means we have to examine every single nook, cranny, and piece of paper as soon as possible.

It's a daunting task (it's a big house), but we're determined to do it to the best of our ability. Meanwhile, blogging may well be replaced by silence for uncomfortable stretches. Or it may work out that posting will continue uninterrupted. Hard to predict at this point

Meanwhile, please bear with me during any sporadic periods.

And, as always, please feel free to leave bizarre, amusing, and/or annoying comments at random intervals to help keep my spirits up.

Oh, one last request: I've had my fill of variations of "I'm sorry for your loss" over the last few days. If you must sympathize, a simple *hug* will do. Those help a lot.

Actually, leave two, or TNT will get jealous :-)

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SO, HARV... WHERE YA BEEN FOR THE LAST COUPLE MONTHS?

I think I've made it through my blogroll twice since the beginning of July. You may have noticed a dearth of comments. Or possibly just forgotten that I existed. Either way, it's about time for a lame excuse.

Having completely failed to make a living at blogging, I made the decision to go back to the "career" I had before tellering - pizza delivery.

CONS:

* Low prestige
* Not a gold star on my resume
* My evenings & weekends are shot Wed-Sun
* No vacation
* No benefits

PROS:

* No office politics
* My boss is a stand-up guy
* I look like a superstar just for showing up as scheduled
* It pays better than the bank
* No one is EVER unhappy to have the pizza guy ringing their doorbell.

Since Beloved Wife TNT & I have opposing schedules now, what little time we have together is spent together. Blogging has to take a back seat.

Meanwhile, I'm posting more at IMAO, since there's some degree of compensation involved.

Also, IMAO has opened up a Cafe Press merchandise shop, and I've designed a few items specifically for people who are desperately unfond of terrorists. Take a look if you're so inclined. I've moved some of my old designs over there, too. Also, be aware that new designs are added from time to time, so you may want to keep checking back.

Finally, I'm working on a new, all-original series of Love Notes. Well, as original as can be expected for a topic as overworked as love, but all fresh out of my head, nonetheless. My goal is to have 365 of them so that I'm all set for 2007. I'm somewhere around 160 right now, plugging along steadily at 3 per day, which pace may or may not get ramped up.

When they're all done, I'm planning on publishing the collection. Possibly on paper, definitely in electronic format. Since I seriously doubt whether I could gain the attention of an established publishing house, I'm researching the feasibility of self-publishing. My initial impressions are that it'd be faster, easier, and cheaper and far less risky that way, so I'm leaning in that direction.

After that, there'll likely be a 2008 edition. Also, I want to finish, polish & publish the "Fun Facts About the 50 States" material, and possibly collect my Blogging Tips essays into something coherant.

Now... I'm looking back over the last 3 paragraphs and thinking to myself, "Self... You're nuts. Stop this foolishness and go get a nice, safe, 9-to-5 job as an office drone somewhere. Something secure with vacation, a 401k, and a dental plan."

Which is probably good advice.

Except that recently I found Refractional Darkness linking this little animation about the joys of office work, and I can't get that weeping cat out of my head.

Maybe I *am* nuts, but there ARE worse things.

So... will I ever be able to get back to making regular visits to the people I love? I honestly don't know. I'd like to. I feel empty, lonely and disconnected sometimes because I've fallen out of people's lives. But I can't promise anything.

Meanwhile, if you post something that you think I should see, please e-mail me a link or drop an off-topic comment on any handy post. Especially about birthdays, anniversaries, blogiversaries, and other celebratory occasions.

I miss you guys.

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WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU I MEME MYSELF

Stolen from Richmond of One For the Road because she was too chicken to tag anyone with it:

---

30 Random Questions

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Yeah, and they found it, too. Fortunately, there wasn't enough of it to be worth the paperwork, so they just took it away & gave me a warning.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coaster?
Oh HELL no!

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
New Year's Eve, 4 years ago (I think), with Beloved Wife TNT. We had the sledding hill to ourselves, and a little whisky flask to make it more interesting. I think we actually made it all the way to the bottom once. Usually we went tumbling after a particularly large mogul.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Else... meaning TNT.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Feh.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Not naturally, but I know how to be, so I force it when I need to.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Didn't follow the case that closely, but from the snippets I've heard, I'm inclined to believe so. Although I don't disagree with the criminal jury verdict, since all "not guilty" means is that the state didn't prove its case.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
TNT

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
Enough to make fun of it.

10. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes, but I can't read people well enough to play for money.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
No... my record is 44. But it was worth it, because I was in port in Rio at the time and had just finished a 24-hour duty day down in the Engineering Plant on the Enterprise. I had to choose between some rack time and beer on the beach.

Easy decision.

12. What's your favorite commercial?
60-second Vault Scarecrow

13. Who was your first love?
There was a random succession of infatuations between ages 6 and 18. Then there was TNT. Nothing else really counts.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
Nope. I'm never in that big of a hurry, and Murphy's Law says that the one time I try it, I will have overlooked a nearby cop.

I *like* having a clean driving record.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yes, but I refuse to tell me, so I don't know what it is.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Those are basketball teams, right? Hockey? Arena Football?

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Yes, but that was back before I could afford more expensive distractions that I could do in warm places.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Rarely, and even then I forget them soon as I get out of bed. Too much real-world stuff to do to worry about night-time brain-echoes.

19. What's the one thing on your mind?
Keeping TNT content.

20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Always. And it's saved me several times.

21. What talent do you wish you had?
Playing the piano

22. Do you like Sushi?
Depends on how it's served.

23. What do you wear to bed?
Usually a smile, but that's about it.

24. Do you truly hate anyone?
Violent Islamic fundamentalists and people who sincerely advocate communism.

25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
TNT is famous, right?

26. Do you know anyone in jail?
No.

27. What food do you find disgusting?
Liver, brussel sprouts, okra, soy milk.

28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Only if they're facing away from their computers.

29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yup, and it was the last time I ever indulged in fisticuffs.

These days I'm strictly a horse's-head-in-the-bed kinda guy.

30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
Unseen beings of pure energy that can interact with physical matter? Didn't I already answer this one?

---

Next victims:

Anna of A Rose By Any Other Name

Machelle of Quality Weenie

VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks

Think of it as your "reward" for chiming in so quickly on my "nobody reads me" post.

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PEOPLE I'M CUTTING OUT OF MY WILL:

Bloggreatgranddaughter Tink of Tink's Tribulations, because she memed me:

---

5 things in my fridge:
1) International Delight Vanilla Toffee Caramel flavored coffee creamer - tastiest thing I've ever put in coffee with the possible exception of heavy cream.
2) Vault Zero - Zero calories, good flavor, lots of caffeine, and Vault has the BEST commercial ever put on film.
3) Two packets of strawberry banana smoothie mix - I have no idea where this stuff came from, since I'm not overly fond of strawberries, bananas, OR smoothies. I'm guessing it was something that was given to Beloved Wife TNT (who posted 3 new things this weekend), who was too polite to refuse it and too much of a packrat to throw it away. I think that stuff's been in there for about 2 years now.
4) Eleven pounds of margarine - Seriously. When TNT bakes, she makes HUGE batches, and she hates running out of ingredients, so she tends to stock up.
5) Walden Farms Calorie Free Chocolate Flavored Syrup - It ain't Hershey's, but for calorie-free, it's amazingly flavorful. So much so that I doubt that it's REALLY calorie free. Mostly because I found it in the Hippy Food aisle of the grocery store, and hippies lie.

5 items in my closet:
1) At least 50 cigars
2) An iron
3) My slightly water-damaged, oversized book of "29 Full Color MC Escher Prints"
4) A rifle
5) A selection of VERY ugly ties that I refuse to wear in public

5 items in my purse:
Since I don't have a purse, I'll tell you what I normally carry in my wallet (which is the male equivalent of a purse):
1) An "emergency $20"
2) Three band-aids
3) Our engagement picture - because someone once chastised me for not carrying a picture of my wife.
4) Mounds Pet Food Frequent Buyer Card
5) Library card

5 items in my car:
1) Cell phone - I only have one because of my fear of roadside emergencies, anyway.
2) A pad of paper - because I never know when Bosco might poke me with the Pointy Stick O' Inspiration.
3) A pen - see item #2
4) An umbrella
5) An emergency necktie - when I worked at the bank, I would - on rare occasions - forget to put on a tie before rushing out the door. This solved that problem. And although I no longer work at the bank, I still leave it in the car. Never know when I might sever a limb and need a tourniquet.

---

Next victims:

Linus of Pepper of the Earth - HA! Let's see him find a way to incorporate his elegant prose into THIS one!

Susie of Practical Penumbra - Enough of her "woman of mystery" act. Let's find out the frightening truth about her.

Wandering Gunslinger of Gunpowder Grotto - I've had enough of HIS "woman of mystery" act, too.

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SCIENCE LABS = CRAP

Back in high school, I had the crotchetiest old Chemistry teacher you've ever seen. Sorta like Ben Stein, except taller, less energetic, and thoroughly jaded by 30+ years of teaching teenagers.

One of his "charming quirks" was how your lab work figured into your grade. Instead of giving you a score that figured into your final grade, he graded your lab reports Sat/Unsat, and if you had more than 1 Unsat lab report, he dropped your final grade by half a letter (e.g. C to C-).

After struggling for 3 hours with my first report only to have it returned to me covered in an ocean's worth of red ink (my spirit snapped like a dry twig somewhere around the third inch-high-and-underlined "NO!!!") I decided that I'd save a couple dozen working hours of fruitless struggle, not turn in another damn lab report at all, and just eat the downgrade.

Which worked out more or less fine.

Why am I telling you this?

Because it's the memory that was conjured after reading this frustrated student's lab report.

It's probably just an Onion-esque urban legend, but I still found it delightful.

And I'm DEFINITELY sympathetic.

[Hat tip to old-high-school-buddy Zaui of This-N-That]

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HOOK, LINE... WAITING ON THE SINKER

Blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World is getting soft-hearted for a stray cat:

"there's this really pretty white and gray kitten been hanging around for a couple of days....so sweet. Not very old - I'm betting under a year. And, well, it's sooo hungry.....and just one bowl of milk couldn't hurt tooooooo much, could it? And, it's just so cute."

*sigh*

Well, it IS possible to keep outdoor cats. TNT & I had a gang of 'em when we lived out in the country. We'd leave a bunch of food out for 'em, they'd show up, chow down & wander away. While they were eating, you could give 'em a little head-scratch & make 'em purr.

My suggestion - buy some cheap-ass dry food and a flea collar. It'll be fine outside until winter, at which point you can choose to make it a housecat or take it to a shelter. Either way, it'll be flea-free when you decide.

By the way, we only adopted one of the dozen or so strays we fed, and that was only because she adored horse-dog Jake.

4-pound kitten. 80-pound (at the time) dog. Go figure.

(click to enlarge)

Fuzzy & Jake

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THIS IS ME AFTER FINDING OUT I'VE BEEN MEMED

"Aaargh! Too much pressure, I can't take it!"

This time by Rachel of Pereiraville:

Six Weird Facts About Me and/or Habits I Have

1) Ice in milk and beer - 4 years of living on an aircraft carrier, doing turns in the 100+ degree heat of the Indian Ocean - where cold beverages were more legend than fact - have given me an unnatural appreciation for the cooling power of ice. I don't care if it makes the beverage watery, it makes it COLD.

2) I once gave a guy my car in exchange for a coffee-grinder - Why? The car had been in an accident(not my fault), the insurance company gave me a check for the full value (they said it was totalled, but it still ran - just looked like a beat up piece of crap), the guy needed a car, and I had three cars and only two parking spaces (living in downtown Madison at the time, where you're lucky to find a parking spot to rent within 3 blocks of your apartment).

10 years later, I've still got the coffee grinder, and the car has long since been scrapped.

3) During my 6 month stint at Naval Nuclear Power School in Orlando, I quit smoking and started chewing Wrigley's Spearmint gum. I used the wrappers to make a gum wrapper chain. It ended up being about 30 feet long.

I still have it.

And no, it's not a record.

4) I know what a seam ripper is, I own one, and I've used it for its intended purpose on numerous occasions. My sister was shocked to discover this.

5) I know where to look to find wild catnip, and I think cats are hilarious after they've had a snootful.

6) I always carry a pen with me wherever I go, and don't understand people who don't.

Next victims:

Machelle of Quality Weenie - I gotta do SOMETHING to distract her from playing doggie-dress-up.

Chris of Spotted Horse - He turned 38 on April 16th, and needs something to distract him from his near-fatal rabbit-related wounding.

Songstress of News From The Great Beyond - Because the wombat told me to.

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THIS IS HOW I FELT

...when I found out Comedy Central censored the "Cartoon Wars: Part 2" episode of South Park:

(click to enlarge)

(part of the South Park Republican Gallery at Justin's Random Thoughts)

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MEME O' FOURS

Victimized by Humble Devildog of Random Firings of Neurons

Four Jobs I've Had In My Life:

1. Paperboy
2. Camp Counselor
3. Squid
4. Pizza delivery

Movies I Could Watch Over And Over Again: (and have)

1. Aliens
2. Princess Bride
3. A Few Good Men
4. Gone in 60 Seconds (Nicholas Cage version)

Four Places I Have Lived:

1. Madison, WI
2. Orlando, FL
3. Fort Atkinson, WI
4. Alameda, CA (on a nuclear wessel)

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch:

1. Family Guy
2. Futurama
3. Simpsons
4. House

Four Places I Have Been On Vacation:

1. Jamaica - Hedonism II
2. Jamaica - Grand Lido Braco (got married there - April 9th 1999 - 7th anniversary fast approaching)
3. Vegas, baby
4. Orlando, FL

Four Websites I Visit Daily:

1. Day By Day
2. User Friendly
3. Pearls Before Swine
4. Prickly City

Four Of My Favorite Foods:

1. Lasagna
2. Chocolate Chocolate-Chip Ice Cream
3. Chicken soup
4. Pretty much anything with turkey in it

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now:

1. Next to Beloved Wife
2. Above Beloved Wife
3. Below Beloved Wife
4. Inside Beloved Wife

Four People I'm Tagging With This: (in an attempt to shake up some deadbeat bloggers)

1. Blogless Brother of NoWhere News
2. Alex of Alex in Wonderland
3. Sally of Whimsy Capricious
4. MC Tutor of An Unfortunate Intrusion of Reality

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