I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE, I CAN HEAR YOU FACEBOOKING

I finally updated the Bad Example Family blogroll.

Or "pruned the family tree", as it were.

Which only sounds dirty.

Bad Example Family members who haven't posted in the last 6 months have been moved to the "Bad Example Milk Carton Kids" blogroll.

If, for some reason, one of you Cartoners starts posting again, drop me a line and I'll put your prodigal ass back onto the 'roll.

MOTIVATIONAL!

This one's for Mr. T.

Not the black one with the mohawk, I mean the son of blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice, who beat two other kids in a soda drinking contest and made a statement that belongs on the cover of every coach's playbook regarding the importance of "leaving it all on the field":

This is how Superbowls are won, people.

[Hat tip: Despair.com DIY]

WEIGHT LOSS HELP

Not for me, but for bloggrandson Petey of Petey's Powderhorn.

He's a big fella, and he'd like to lose some weight. He's started a separate blog to chronicle the effort: The Incredible Shrinking Petey.

Anyone with experience and/or sympathy in this category, please stop by to leave some encouragement. Maybe even offer to form up some sort of buddy-system tag-team thing. Anything you can do would be appreciated.

MARRIAGE!

Blogson Johnny-Oh! of Closet Extremist announces his impending marriage May 9th.

I haven't met "Sweetie" (which I believe is short for Sweetevnia, indicating the possibility that she's a Russian mail-order bride), but I know she's got herself a good man - once she's got him properly trained in the fine art of "yes, dear".

Johnny, feel free to borrow Love Notes as needed.

Congratulations.

FRIZZEN SPARKS (v3.0)

Hetero life-partner and Frizzen Family patriarch Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks is back.

Put away your shotguns, he's not a zombie. He just smells like one.

Update your blogrolls, though, because he ditched the .com address for a .org one.

As Grau likes to say, "less dot commie, more dot orgy".

IT'S A BOY!

Long overdue on this one, and I have only myself to blame.

Somewhere around a millionty-billionty years ago, Blogson Contagion of Miasmatic Review conned some poor sucker into starting a blog, and he turned out to be an excellent writer, a prolific poster, and a worthy member of the Bad Example Family. It's [way past] time to celebrate the arrival of

Petey of Petey's Powderhorn

Let's take a look in the baby carriage...

Hmmm... not there...

... must've gotten out and walked to the liquor store to pick up a bottle of scotch. Kids grow up so fast these days.

Anyway, since he's got about 80,000 posts up already, we'll just have to skim for some highlights:

Some thoughts on gun control - love that picture.

"One of these days I am going to end up biting my lips off" - still struggling to control his craving for human flesh.

This only SOUNDS dirty - Petey's got wood 'cuz he likes a good paddlin'.

Puppy!

St. Patrick's Day - Lots of entertainment here.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

And as Contagion's boy, you're also a member of the Frizzen Sparks Family, who's blogroll code is thus:

<script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.blogrolling.com/display.php?r=f08d8a4aa90fa6bc7a26e6d29c6850fb"></script>

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to occasional visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

BLOGROLL UPDATED - (post updated 3-27-09)

I updated the Bad Example Family blogroll. There were a few links that needed changing, but the big difference is that I went through and took out everyone who hasn't posted in the last six months. If you need to find one of them, they're now listed under the Milk Carton Kids blogroll.

Two discoveries - Alex of Alex in Wonderland is posting again. Johnny-Oh of Closet Extremist is not, although he dropped a couple comments recently. I'll give him another week to post some blah-blah-I've-been-really-busy thing before putting him on the missing list.

Anyway, let me know if I bollixed up something in the process.

Oh, and hetero life-partner and co-blogfather of many of my spawn Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks is rumored to be coming back on line very soon. Details to follow when I get 'em.

Finally, Contagion of Miasmatic Review had a blogson over a year ago that - regretfully - I never acknowleged. Petey of Petey's Powderhorn is now on the Family Blogroll.

My apologies for dropping the ball on this. Proper birth announcement to follow soon.

UPDATE 3-27-09: Looks like Johnny-Oh of Closet Extremist will stay off the Milk Carton Kids list for another 6 months. Little smartass.

THE BAD EXAMPLE FAMILY TREE - UPDATED 3-28-09

Blogson Andrew of Custos Honor drew up a family tree, which I've been keeping updated:

(click to enlarge - it's a biggun')

It gets a little complex, so I'll try to explain:

On my own, I begat:

The Bartender of Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon
Mike the Marine of From the Halls to the Shores
Teresa of Technicalities
_Jon of We Swear
Sally of Whimsy Capricious
Johnny-Oh of Closet Extremist
Pam of Camp HappyBadFun!
Firstbrokenangel of AAFFLLAACCKK
Peter of Shakey Pete's Shootin' Shack
Andrew (Aris_Ravenscroft) of Custos Honor
GA Mongrel of GA Mongrel
Sarah of That's Not Very Nice!
Blogless Brother of Blogless Brother
Wandering Gunslinger of Gunpowder Grotto

With help from Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks (don't ask), I begat:

That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom
Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice

With help from Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks AND Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice (don't ask), I begat:

Contagion of Miasmatic Review

With help from Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice (don't ask), I begat:

Blue Tige of Blue Tige

With help from The Humble Devildog of Random Firings of Neurons AND Beth of Yeah, Right, Whatever (don't ask), I begat:

Deathknyte of Bad Catholicism

With help from bloggranddaughter Mrs. Who of House of Zathras (don't ask), I begat:

Bitterroot of Friction and Harmony

I adopted:

GEBIV of There's One, Only!
Jeff of Ponytailed Conservative (Deceased 7-9-06)
Tammi of Tammi's World
Roger & Chuck of Class Mishaps
Michele of Letters From New York City
Jeff of Oh-Dark-Thirty
Oddybobo of Bobo Blogger

With help from Tammi of Tammi's World (don't ask), I begat:

Machelle of Quality Weenie

On her own, Tammi of Tammi's World begat:

Lee Ann of Lee Ann's View
Army Wife of ArmyWifeToddlerMom
TalulaZephyr of Love and Koolaid Stains
Ktreva of The Reality Ranch
Carmen of I'll Do What I Want... Gosh!
Chief of Musings of the Smartest Guy in the World

On her own, Lee Ann of Lee Ann's View begat:

"Susan" of Get A Life!

On her own, Army Wife of ArmyWifeToddlerMom begat:

KD of The Life of the Wife

On her own, Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice begat:

VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks
Sissy of And What Next...
Rave of Quid Nunc
Mrs. Who of House of Zathras
Titan of Titan's Lair

VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks adopted:

Maranda of Maranda Under Stress
Matthew of Maybe Baby

On her own, Rave of Quid Nunc begat:

Hippie of Bohemian Rhapsody

On her own, Teresa of Technicalities begat:

IrishPixie of Pixie Dust Productions, Inc.
MathCogIdiocy of MathCog Idiocy

On her own, IrishPixie begat:

GiGi of GiGi's View of the World

On her own, MathCogIdiocy begat:

TOSP of The Other Sister Person
Zephyr of Zephyr's Place

On her own, VW Bug begat:

Sticks of From Chaos to Serendipity
Tink of Tink's Tribulations

On her own, Sissy begat:

Spurs of Pull My Finger

On his own, Johnny-Oh of Closet Extremist begat:

Sarah the Penguin of Because We Have Thumbs
Neonangel of Lyrical Coma
Tuck of Thought Drizzle

On her own, Sarah the Penguin begat:

Tom of Son Of A DJ

On her own, (or possibly with help) Oddybobo begat:

MC Tutor of An Unfortunate Intrusion of Reality

On his own, Contagion begat:

Virtue of Rantings of an Indentured Servant
Bruce Wayne of Back To The Batcave
Petey of Petey's Powderhorn

On his own, _Jon of We Swear begat:

Denise of "A Peek Inside My Mind" (now shut down, but she currently does guest posts here)

James of Ramblings of an Ordinary is - in real life - married to Denise of A Peek Inside My Mind

Alex of Alex in Wonderland is - in real life - married to Sally of Whimsy Capricious.

Also married in real life:
Contagion & Ktreva
Mrs. Who & Bitterroot
Graumagus & Maranda

TNT of Smiling Dynamite was begat as the result of a virtual gang-bang at the Bad Example Family (& Friends) Reunion (Orlando, Feb 8-14th, 2005) and is - in real life - married to me (Harvey of Bad Example)

That should more or less explain everything. I'll update this post as circumstances warrant.

Oh, and there's also a rumor that Sally gave birth to an inanimate carbon rod, but you can't believe everything you read on the internet.

NOTE TO COMMENT PARTIERS

Over at bloggranddaughter Carmen of I'll Do What I Want... Gosh!'s place.

Far be it from me to criticize, but when I asked for a Johnny Cat, I wanted this:

1 oz gin
1 oz dry vermouth
1/2 oz triple sec
1 swirl grenadine syrup
fill with club soda
4 ice cubes

NOT THIS:

Thank you for you attention.

I MAY ONLY HAVE TIME FOR 2 OR 20 DRINKS AND A TRIP DOWN THE SLIP & SLIDE

But there's a comment party over at bloggranddaughter Carmen of I'll Do What I Wanna Do... Gosh!'s place.

Jump on my scooter, I'll give you a lift over.

[Hat tip: Bloggranddaughter Lee Ann of Lee Ann's View]

IT'S A BOY!

Putting a pause in the waterfall of estrogen pouring out of blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World's corner of the Bad Example Family, she's graced us with a bouncing baby blogson:

Musings from the Smartest Man in the World

Who, for the sake of brevity, I will start calling "Chief", as he's a fellow Navy man, and rightfully proud of his rank.

Hey, it was either that or "MSMW", which is way to close to the vile epithet "MSM".

Let's peer into the bassinet, shall we?

A short bio - Good introduction. Chief, I recommend linking this prominently in the sidebar with the words "About Me" so that future visitors can get a feeling for who you are and why you write what you write.

Speaking of your sidebar, I'd also suggest putting up an e-mail address in the sidebar so that people can say howdy and/or discuss things in private. If you want a dedicated blogging e-mail addy, just let me know and I can send you a Gmail invite.

Ok, this guy's a freak - A Navy man who doesn't drink? If he's also Irish, then Satan is strapping on his ice skates.

He thinks being part of the Bad Example Family is cool because it brings traffic. Wait until he discovers the dark side... MUAHAHAHAHA!

Little boys, big balls - that's what *I* would've titled this one.

Already embedding YouTube videos - Ya know, back when I was a little Blogsprout, we didn't HAVE fancy YouTube videos! When we were desperate for filler content, we had to blog about our cats! And by gum, that's the way we LIKED it!

Rain - turns out it's like Kryptonite for Californians.

Blood boiler - I thought the headline he quoted from the Seattle Times was his sarcastic condensation of the opinion piece that it was topping. Turns out he quoted it verbatim. Color me nauseous.

Unintentional blood boiler - a basketball game where they don't keep score? That's what pre-game warm-ups are for.

One more suggestion for the sidebar - a "Cast of Characters" list, e.g.:

Number 1 (wife)
The Story Teller (older[?] son)
Mini Me (younger[?] son)

For the benefit of new readers.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to occasional visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

YAY! AN AWARD!

Bloggreatgranddaughter Tink of Tink's Tribulations gave me a "Bloggers With Integrity" award:

For Staying True To Their Beliefs
Bad Example. In the two plus years that I have been blogging, I can honestly say that I know what to expect when I visit granddad Harv's blog. He has never waivered in his beliefs. Thanks Harv.

Now, I wasn't the only awardee on the list, which makes me happy, because - as we all know - one important Bad Example Family Value is:

* A belief that new bloggers should be supported and encouraged.

And when it comes right down to it, we're ALL new bloggers at heart.

I'm proud to see Tink putting some shine on the family honor.

BLOGCRAWL 2007!

What's a Blogcrawl?

That's where you get drunk and start leaving comments on every blog on the Bad Example & Frizzen Sparks Family blogrolls (Which can be found in my sidebar, assuming Blogrolling is working properly).

Last one was June of 2005.

And it's happening again this Saturday (9-29) because 1) it's been a while and 2) it's Contagion of Miasmatic Review's birthday, and this is how he wants to celebrate.

Here are this year's rules:

2) Drink as much as you comfortably feel you should. This is for fun, I don’t want to have blog fodder stories involving charcoal slurries and ER visits. Be responsible, especially if you have to drive. I’m saying right now that if you do something stupid and hurt yourself I will make fun of you. I am neither legally, morally nor ethically responsible for anything you do either in the real world or on the Internet. You are all adults and responsible for your own actions.

D) Please attempt to limit the Blog Crawl comments to the hours of 7:00PM September 29 and 7:00 AM CST September 30th. Just so it’s easier to track and the time zone differences for all the participants. Not that I’m going to link to every single post that has a comment on it, I just don’t want to search for them Sunday to see what everyone said. Oh, and a drunken post on your own blog is perfectly acceptable and encouraged. Same with day after posts.

4) Try to leave a comment on every blog in the Bad Example and Frizzen Sparks family. You may use my side bar as a reference if you don’t know who they are. Do not feel limited to these blogs only, go ahead and hit any other blog you would like as well. Oh, and a drunken post on your own blog is perfectly acceptable and encouraged.

"I am going to head down to Fritz’s Wooden Nickel in Stillman Valley to get my drunk on, I probably will not get home until after midnight. I’m planning on hitting Fritz’s between 3:30 and 4:30 PM and drinking the night away. Hey, it’s my birthday and my liver, don’t you judge me! Any and all of you that want to come and meet me there for the celebration would be great. However, if you could let me know if you plan on being there in advance I would appreciate it. That way I can give Fritz a head’s up on how many to expect. If someone does set up a chat channel this year, it’s all good. Just don’t expect me to be on there until well after midnight and even then I may not be all that active as I’m trying to make drunken comments.

Before I go to Fritz’s I’m planning on heading down to the Buffalo Range in Ottowa, Illinois. It even looks like they are having a Pig Roast on that day. See even they are getting into the Blogcrawl! There is a $25.00 range fee for shooting."

Personally, I'm really looking forward to this.

BLOGCRAWL 2007

Getting drunk & blogging & commenting?

Oh HELL yeah!

September 29th. The last Saturday in September, and Contagion's Birthday.

More details, actual name of the event, and official logo to be announced.

Stay tuned.

GOTTA GO OUT SHOOTIN' WITH HIM SOMETIME

Blogson Shakey Pete of Shakey Pete's Shootin' Shack has posted a fine beginner's tutorial on shooting.

If you've ever fired a gun, or wanted to, this is something you'll enjoy reading.

SINCE IT'S ACTUALLY TODAY, I'LL POST ON IT

For Blogdaughter Machelle of Quality Weenie:

[Image courtesy of Image Chef - where you can make your own cake with numbers & a message]

MAYBE I'VE FINALLY COMBINED MY FETISHES?

Blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World wants to know:

Just what in the HELL is he surfing for on the net that he found Foot Thongs?

Well, it could be that I was looking for a good "hemp jewelry" link for my recent Graffiti Currency post, noticed the barefoot sandals on this page, and naturally thought about Tammi, since she's forever goin' on and on about barefoot this & barefoot that.

Or maybe I was just doing my normal Googling for toe porn, thongs, and bondage, and just clicked a bad link.

You guys can just go ahead & wonder.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARMY WIFE!

Bloggranddaughter Army Wife of ArmyWifeToddlerMom turns... um... I think it's 21... today.

In celebration, blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World is celebrating with a "bring a dish"... um... ok, "bring a recipe"... link fest.

In the 4+ years I've been blogging, I've only posted one recipe, so I'll bring that one out of the dank recesses of my archives, since it's pretty darn tasty:

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: Besides being a real recipe, there's actual entertainment value in the preparation section, so don't just skip over this)

Several months ago, Goldie of Drama Queen posted about this yummy looking cheesecake, so I asked her for the recipe. She gave it to me, I printed it out, and it sat on my desk for months. Mostly because the measurements were metric, and some of the ingredients were Australian, and I was too lazy to translate. But after a little Googling, I was able to convert everything.

I made it a few weeks back, and it was fantastic, so I thought I'd share my version of it:

12 oz chocolate graham crackers
5 1/2 oz butter (melted)
5 Tablespoons caramel ice cream topping.
2 oz. milk chocolate, chopped finely
3 teaspoons unflavored gelatine
1/4 cup water
3 8oz packets cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup "superfine" sugar
3 full-sized Milky Way bars, chopped

1. For the crust, crush the graham crackers. You can use a blender or food processor. I stuffed them in a Ziploc baggie & smashed them with a rolling pin. Except I didn't have a rolliing pin, so I used a half-empty bottle of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum, which worked fine. Add butter, mix together until just combined, then press the mess evenly over the base & sides of springform cheesecake pan. Refrigerate or freeze for half an hour or until firm. I stuffed it in the freezer, where it got rock hard. Which is a good thing, since it made it easier to pour the filling in.

2. Melt the 2 oz of chocolate and add 2 Tablespoons of cream. Realize that the cream you bought 3 weeks ago is now cheese. Throw away and dash to the store for more cream. Re-melt the chocolate & add cream.

3. Heat the water and sprinkle the gelatine over it. Stir until dissolved. Be disgusted by the fact that the mixture smells like a dead horse.

4. Beat the cheese & sugar with an electric mixer until smooth. Beat remaining cream with an electric mixer until soft peaks form. Realize that you wouldn't recognize a "soft peak" if it jumped up and bit you in the ass. Keep beating the cream anyway, praying that you don't accidentally make butter in the process. Stir slightly warm gelatine mixture into the the cheese mixture with the Milky Way bars. Fold in cream. Worry that maybe "folding" isn't really another term for "mixing" and push down the rising panic as you pray that you haven't completely screwed this thing up.

5. Pour half the cheese mixture into the springform pan. Wonder if you're anywhere near "half" since you just eyeballed it. Drizzle half the caramel & chocolate sauces. Realize that the chocolate hardened again during all that mixing. Microwave in nervous, 10-second increments until runny enough to pour. Worry some more about how important this "half" thing is. Pull skewer back and forth to create a marbled effect. Realize that you don't have a skewer. Use a knife instead, and notice that it doesn't look "marbled" so much as "messy". Thank God that you're not doing this for a cooking class, so you won't be graded on appearance. Repeat process with remaining cheese mixture and sauces. Cover, refrigerate for about 3 hours, or until set. Try not to trip over the dog on your way to the fridge. Serves 8. Or in my case, 1 husband, and 1 sneaky, nibbling mouse of a wife - for several days.

Substitution notes:

Oreo cookies might make an acceptable base, as would plain graham crackers.

I used Milky Ways because I *love* Milky Ways, and I didn't want crunchy things disturbing the creamy texture. Realistically, since there's no baking involved, you can use just about any candy bar that can be cut into pieces. Mars, Snickers, 3 Musketeers, Kit Kat, M&Ms (which you probably wouldn't have to cut, especially if you used the minis), etc, depending on personal preference.

You can make your own caramel sauce using 2 Tablespoons of brown sugar, 2 Tablespoons of cream and 2/3 oz of butter.

Chef's note: Except for the cream debacle and the fact that the chocolate kept hardening on me, this recipe was quite easy to make. The toughest part was probably getting the pan EVENLY coated with the crumbs. Turns out not to be all that critically important anyway. The only change I'd make next time is that I might cut the candy bars into larger pieces.

That and figuring out what the hell a soft peak looks like.

(click to enlarge)

OO! SHINY!

Bloggranddaughter Irishpixie of Pixie Dust Productions, Inc. is now making and selling her own jewelry.

I know nothing about fashion, but I still thought they were very pretty.

You should at least go look at the pictures.

ABOUT FUCKING TIME

And yes, that title is uncensored because long-lost blogson _Jon of We Swear (update your bookmarks) is back on line, and it just seemed appropriate.

Let's see...

Sucky first post - yup

Sucky second post that doesn't contain a single profanity - yup

Come on, _Jon, crank it up a notch.

And don't forget to hit the swear jar afterwards.

COMMENT PARTY!

Blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World is offline & out of town until Wednesday night, leaving her blog undefended.

Go over & raise a ruckus.

Pass it on.

THIS SHOULD HELP

Blogdaughter Machelle of Quality Weenie is feeling down, and there's only one thing I know of to cheer her up - a slightly late 40th birthday present:

Shirtless guy in shorts & workboots.

If that don't ease the pain, I don't know what will.

IT'S A BOY! AND NOT A BLOGGER THIS TIME

Blogson-in-law Alex of Alex in Wonderland reports that he and blogdaughter Sally of Whimsy Capricious have finally finished that project they've been working on:

On Monday 21st May at 11:11pm, after 18.5 hours of gruelling labour, baby Jamie decided to make his appearance. He was one week early born on exactly 39 weeks. It was all a bit of a rush at the end but he made it, Sally made it (although she said for a second baby he was hard work!) and I made it.

I feel like I should be doing something right now, but I'm not sure what would be appropriate.

Maybe some tea...

IT'S A BOY!

Bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks has adopted herself a baby blogson:

Matthew of Maybe Baby

Since he's been around since January, I'm going to do a random sampling rather than the usual "link every post" tour:

Puppy picture! - didn't take him long to dive for the cuteness jugular, but I'll let it go because he learns an important lesson here: "Small Things Are Both Stupid and Defiant".

Photoshopping and whack-it blogging - always a good combination. Sure, it's TMI, but this IS the information age... too much, or otherwise.

I think this is one of those Zen questions - "If only I had a kid that I could boss around, an indebted member of my family who could vacuum, walk the dog, do the dishes and fold the laundry, perhaps I wouldn’t be so stressed. But if I’m stressed, how will I ever have that kid who will eventually cut down the amount of work I have to do?"

Concerned that the right of free speech doesn't cover "poop"? - Matthew is, and he's fighting for you!

Some important history on being formerly fat - A lot of folks have weight (or at least weight image) issues, and Matthew would probably be a good person to chat about those with. Voice of experience and what not.

I'd also like to mention that it looks like Matt has finally given up that disgusting habit of putting plain text in extended entries. Good job!

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

QUOTE OF THE DAY - ELEVATOR MAN GETS HIS ELOQUENT ON

Blogson Johnny-Oh of Closet Extremist on what to do about the Virginia Tech shootings:

For your soul, pray for the families and the wounded.
For your heart, grieve for the lost.
For your emotions, hold your family close and let them know you Love them.
For your mind, think of ways that you could avoid being a victim in a similar situation.
For your peace, turn off the damn TV and do one of the above.

Well said.

A personal note to the author: Though you blog infrequently these days, I'm VERY glad you still post when you can. There was a damn good reason I pushed you to get your own blog, and it makes me proud to see that reason is still there.

IT'S A BOY!

Under a special dispensation from the Federal Department of Blogchildren, blogstumpson Contagion of Miasmatic Review has been allowed to produce virtual offspring again. Thus I present:

Bruce Wayne of Back to the Batcave

Let's slide down the pole & have a peek:

Confesses to enjoying romps with turtles - First day and he's already abusing wildlife. Yeah, he's Contagion's kid, all right.

Allow me to quote: "Wrigley Field is HUGE and there is no way it can sell out." - I guess Bruce learned himself a lesson about the wisdom of poking Murphy's Law in the eye with a stick.

On the other hand he already knows the ultimate secret of blogging - When you don't have anything good to post, post something good from someone else. In this case, song lyrics. Maybe there's hope for him yet.

The only thing I'll suggest to Bruce is that he should provide a link to where he found the lyrics so that people who are unfamiliar with the song can find out what it is. Remember, it's all about reader convenience. There's no such thing as a post with too much explanatory linkage. It's what hyperlinks are for.

Next lesson - blogging while "niquilled" = typos. Which just makes more fun for the rest of us. Drunk blogging is fun, too. Just ask your blogdad.

Lesson the third - music will get you through times of no car better than a car will get you through times of no music.

Seriously, though, might want to check out my used car buying tips.

You know you have a Trek addiction when... - you post a link to some weird Turkish Trek fan-film. Gotta love those miniskirts in part 1, though. Please note the absence of panties at 1:21.

Bruce thinks that graphic portrayals of torture and murder are inappropriate for highway billboards. Can't argue with that. Heck, the one billboard picture he shows even makes ME queasy. This is one time you'll actually hear me say "do it for the children".

Tosses out a quick "About Me" post. It's a good start. Now just need to put a link to that one in the sidebar somewhere.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

IT'S A GIRL!

Bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks has adopted herself a blogdaughter.

Who just happens to be the wife of her bloggrandpa.

Not me, the other one.

I tell ya, the Bad Example Family Tree just keeps looking more and more like this:

First, a word of caution to Bug... adopting a blogchild is a grave and fearsome responsibility. I expect you to lavish her with love, support, attention, and regular comments. Remember to encourage her during those dry spells where blogging doesn't seem like much fun anymore. Be a good blogmama.

Now, let's have a gander at this foundling:

Maranda of Maranda Under Stress

Since Maranda has actually been blogging for over a year, I'll just link a semi-random selection of posts instead of the "link every darn one" thing that I usually do with the newbies.

Answers the burning question: "Why would anyone be called Maranda unless they were being arrested or wore big hats full of fruit?"

The nurse's prayer... not sure where that bit about Astroglide came from...

Phrases that should never appear on ANYONE'S blog - "a guy in a thong style suit with thin straps that go over the shoulders on his sides".

Penis enlargement tip that actually works!

A handy tip to help NASA cope with those budget cuts.

Finally, she realizes too late the full implications of being her own bloggreatgrandmother.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

IT'S A GIRL!

Bloggranddaughter Lee Ann of Lee Ann's View presents us with her new blogdaughter:

"Susan" of Get A Life

Let's peek under the little pink blanket:

Proof that celebrities should fornicate more cautiously.

Proof of her own insanity in the form of 30 degree coatlessness and a favoring of the Colts in the Superbowl.

Proof of her twisted sense of humor. You can always tell a Bad Example Family member by their inappropriate laughter.

In case you were wondering, that long-haired, black-hatted trumpet player on ESPN2 Thursday night wasn't some homeless guy who wandered in off the street, it was her son.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

IT'S A BOY!

And it's not a blogchild this time.

Long-absent despite my incessant nagging (and thus still a milk carton kid) Blogdaughter Sally of Whimsy Capricious and her husband Alex of Alex in Wonderland are 22 weeks into brewing up a new offspring.

Thought you'd like to know.

AH... A CHALLENGE

Bloggreatgranddaughter Tink of Tink's Tribulations needs some scrapbooking help:

I need songs, specificially songs that begin with N, P, Q, S, T, U, V, X, Y, Z; where either a verse or the chorus would be appropriate for a young girl.

I personally don't know a lot of music appropriate for children. Those of you with more class, please feel free to chime in.

BAD EXAMPLE FAMILY MILK CARTON KIDS

As regular readers know, I try to encourage good writers and frequent commenters to start their own blogs, and - consequently - I have a lot of blogkids. Many of whom have blogchildren of their own.

Unfortunately, sometimes things don't always work out. A new blogger may start out with great enthusiasm, but - for whatever reason - doesn't develop the same obsessive-compulsive desire to blog that I suffer from.

Sometimes these folks just quit blogging.

Which makes me very sad.

And torn.

Because I don't want to de-link them - they're FAMILY for cryin' out loud! - but on the other hand, I've pretty much given up hope of them coming back, and the blogroll IS a little bloated... besides, a lot of the active kids use the official Family blogroll, and is it REALLY fair to keep all those dead links on it?

So I've decided to do something about it. A new blogroll just for the blogspawn who haven't posted anything in the last 6 months.

The list of the missing.

The Bad Example Family Milk Carton Kids.

The offspring that are no longer with us, but whose absence leaves an empty, aching hole in my heart.

If they post again, I will - with great rejoicing - put them back on the Family blogroll.

I hope they do.

Meanwhile, for those using the Bad Example Family blogroll, you won't have to skip the non-posters and 404's anymore. But if for some reason you'd like to include a list of the missing somewhere on your sidebar, here's the Blogrolling code:

<script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.blogrolling.com/display.php?
r=64a82ee75946298cde968c000df9a238"></script>

(Code divided for display purposes. If used, put all of it on the same line)

And if you ARE one of the Milk Carton Kids, all I can say is...

All is forgiven.

Please come home.

BIG MOVE, LITTLE NAME CHANGE

Bloggranddaughter Mrs_Who of House of Zathras has ditched Blogger for a fancy Wordpress blog with her own domain.

She's also changed her name from Mrs_Who to Mrs. Who - I have no idea if it's a witness protection thing, or what.

Anyway, update your bookmarks.

If you're using the Bad Example Family javascript, it's already been done for you.

WELL, I GUESS THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD EXCUSE FOR NOT BLOGGING

Blogson-in-law Alex of Alex in Wonderland mentions the trend toward bloggers becoming celebrities.

Fortunately, you'll see no bloated-ego pontificating, or mugging for the cameras at Bad Example. I never expect to rise above my status as a flea on the itchy butt of the blogosphere.

Unless some sort of graffiti-currency-related scandal breaks out, in which case you won't be able to throw a sneaker at a television without hitting my face.

Anyway, as for the title of this post - Alex has announced that his wife (and my blogdaughter) Sally of Whimsy Capricious (who REALLY needs to post something soon) is 4 months pregnant (with an actual child, not a blogspawn).

I'm predicting triplets, just to get Alex spun up.

LOSS

Blogson Madfish Willie of Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon lost his mother on Sunday, December 10th.

She ran a blog for the San Antonio Polio Survivor's Association for several years, which is a great resource for those afflicted with the disease.

Obituary here.

Pictures from the memorial service here.

IT'S A BOY!

Once again, the Bad Example Family tree experiences a dismal failure to branch, as I seem to have had a blogson in cooperation with my bloggrandaughter Mrs_Who of House of Zathras.

Please welcome Bitterroot of Friction and Harmony.

Amazingly, he's only got 10 fingers & 10 toes, so coming from a gene puddle instead of a gene pool doesn't seem to have hurt him any.

Let's see what else he's got:

Meanwhile, please notice the extended entry feature on this post.

The origin of names - both the pseudonym and the blog name. I have to admit, being a Packers fan, I can relate to panicky feelings about Bears.

Pegs the geek meter - by knowing more about .diz files than any normal human being ought. Keyword: normal.

By the way, I'll see your pole-dancing Lincolns and raise you a set of Viking Kittens.

A long and interesting story - which is mostly and excuse to post a link to a Dennis Leary video which I've never seen before, and which song will probably stick in your head for a while.

Accuses his wife of tattling - like he didn't see this coming.

Throwing cheetos at cheesecake - exploiting his wife's beauty for a little blog traffic. Has this man NO honor? Never see that sorta thing here at Bad Example.

Tech notes - Bitterroot could use some friends who know a bit about Wordpress. Which isn't me. I'm just there for the sexy wife pictures.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

TRYING TO PICK FIGHTS

Bloggranddaughter Sarah the Penguin of Because We Have Thumbs wants to engage in bitter, cantankerous repartee in her comments.

At her OTHER blog: Use A Pencil

First up - "Is it OK to shoot cops and grandmothers, or is it just fun?"

That's a paraphrase, but feel free to go bicker.

IT'S A GIRL!

Thanks to bloggranddaughter ArmyWifeToddlerMom, the Bad Example Family has a new bouncing blogbaby girl to tag with those horrible, annoying memes:

KD of The Life of the Wife

Let's see what's underneath the little pink blanket:

This just tickles me - "don’t want him to know I consistently fret" is what she posts on her publicly accessible blog. Heh. He'll NEVER see it there...

Now we start getting to know her as she deals with the first week of her husband's deployment. As to this statement: "I write him at least twice a day and I can't tell if he wants me to or not.", my response is "no... more". After 6 years in the Navy, I can say with certainty that messages from home can NEVER come frequently enough.

On the other hand, DO try to pace yourself. If the frequency of messages declines, a man starts to worry a bit. Between the two, consistency will trump frequency over the long haul.

Does anyone know German? If you do, maybe you can give KD a hand. Personally, my suggestion is to start reading German blogs. You can start by looking here.

Dealing with the empty house - and yes, DO be grateful for e-mail. Beats the hell out of waiting 3 weeks for a letter. And don't forget, they have internet-operable vibrators now [link NC17], so you've got even MORE advantages over your WWII forebears.

"Cracky loves the Wieners!" - KD, you've GOT to link some pictures for this piece. The Wikipedia article you linked isn't being very helpful.

Lonely summer nights - We'll have to do what we can to keep her company this summer. Maybe a nice BlogCrawl.

Outed - 'nuff said.

What to get for the man who has no room to put anything? - Good question. But if you're looking for something cigar-related, try Cigars International or JR Cigar. Might also send him a link to my handy cigar storage tips.

Looking forward to Thanksgiving - with picture.

"ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh!! Mom, I want it! I want it! Moooooom, I NEEEEEED IT!" - Yeah, I say that a lot myself, except with more panting.

"Even better: someone buys and produces my universal, RFID tag based, closet contained laundry system." - We had something like that on the USS Enterprise. You throw your laundry in a mesh bag, put it in the laundry bin, and 3 weeks later it got tossed onto your rack, slightly damp and smelling like everyones else's sweat. Hopefully KD's version works better.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

MOONLIGHTING?

Watching Comedy Central's Premium Blend, and out on the stage steps bloggranddaughter ArmyWifeToddlerMom.

Or at least I *think* it was her.

All I know is that I've never seen her AND Tracy Smith together in the same room.

IT'S A GIRL!

Bloggranddaughter Irishpixie of Pixie Dust Productions, Inc. has been quite productive, indeed, as she has brought forth into this world a blogdaughter:

GiGi of GiGi's View of the World

Let's peer into the virtual bassinet, shall we?:

Traditional sucky first post... well, I guess GiGi's not a traditionalist. She went with some substantive reflection on giving advice to your children.

What to do with a bad doctor?... maybe strap him to a table and start prodding him with a speculum?

GiGi admits to being puzzled by the weirdly-knotted branches of her part of the Bad Example Family Tree. Wait until she gets a gander at the whole thing...

A little bit about her - Germany, cooking, art, the pooping of her grandson...

Someone needs to tag her with a meme to get her out of her shell.

Pumpkin carving! - Is there anything more heart-warming than gourd-related mayhem & mutilation?

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

HAPPY 33rd BIRTHDAY!

To blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only!

I thought I'd get him a nice pic of a hot chick playing a banjo.

After several hours of Googling, I discovered the awful truth:

Hot chicks don't play the banjo.

Happy Birthday anyway... :-/

THIRTY-MUMBLE AGAIN

Blogson Contagion of Miasmatic Review had another birthday.

Embarrassingly enough, although I knew about it ahead of time, I was away from my computer, so I couldn't do a cruel and humiliating post to help him celebrate.

I'm sure he's broken-hearted about that.

As I was googling around for an appropriate present (which I didn't find), I *did* discover something interesting:

Looks like ol' Seamus MacPhail finally got his still working.

Congratulations on keeping the world inebriated.

And Happy Birthday!

WORD OF THE DAY

Blogson Wandering Gunslinger of Gunpowder Grotto asks for guesses as to the meaning of the word "Zwitter". Apparently the title of some incomprehensible song or another by Rammstein.

My guess: A miniature high voltage fly swatter. The full-size version is called the "Zwatter", a combination of "zap" and "swatter". They changed the name for the new, smaller version - the letter "i" makes it sound diminutive.

Any other guesses?

I THINK SHE'S 21 NOW

Bloggranddaughter Mrs_Who of House of Zathras is having a birthday. Heard she likes back rubs, so I got her a fancy-ass massage chair:

It looks pretty complicated, so I thought I should hire someone to operate it for her.

This guy looks like he'd be pretty handy around the house:

I'm sure Mrs_Who will find ways to keep him busy.

Happy Birthday, sweetie.

MIA?

I know I've been out of the loop for a while, but I'm still shocked and disturbed that my blogson Tige of Blue Tige is nowhere to be found.

In fact some other jackass now has his URL at Blogger.

WTF?

Anyone with information on his whereabouts, please leave a comment. I'm worried.

LEATHER PRON

Blogson Peter is over at the Shootin' Shack, showing off his leather goods.

Not as kinky as you might think, but it IS a beautiful sight.

There's also a baby grandson picture over there for the girls to coo over.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Still somewhere in the neighborhood of her 30's, Blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice is having a birthday today.

Having seen her recent work posing for Budweiser, I have to say... she's still got it:

At least, I'm pretty sure that's her. I can't seem to take my eyes off her... uh... beer bottle... long enough to make a solid identification.

Anyway, if you need to buy a present for her, try a kitchen gadget. Perhaps something like this one:

RUNNING OUT OF TIME

Blogson That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom will be interviewed at Basil's Blog soon. Deadline for submitting questions is Sunday, August 27th.

Is it possible to ask him a question that he'd be too embarrassed to answer?

I don't know, but consider it a challenge.

Meanwhile, Bloggreatgranddaughter Tink of Tink's Tribulations has the same deadline. She just had her 50th birthday. How can her life get any worse?

Yet another challenge.

Click here to submit for T1G.

Click here to submit for Tink.

Come on! Make with the clickety-clickety, already!

I KNOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LET KIDS DO THINGS FOR THEMSELVES, BUT...

Sometimes ya just gotta jump in and help.

Blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World is having a birthday. Probably 21st or something, so she's legal now (line forms to the right, guys).

Blogson That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom tried to get her a present. He wanted to combine shoes, donuts & candles, but couldn't quite make it all in one.

That's where I come in.

(see extended entry)

IT'S A BOY!

Blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice skipped one of her blogcontrol pills and ended up presenting the world with a new blogson:

Titan of Titan's Lair

Let's see what that gurgling noise is that's rising up from his virtual cradle:

Not that I disagree. I've got the same beef with the man when he goes off on his rants against marijuana smokers when he's in the studio sipping scotch and puffing an Arturo Fuente Opus X.

On the other hand, I still think Rush is one of the best extemporaneous speakers in America today. It's not easy to fill 3 hours of air time without repeating yourself ad nauseum (lookin' at you, Mark Belling).

A little something on the evils of hotel jacuzzis - I think he's just a little skeeved at the thought of the thousands of traveling salesmen who've given themselves jetjobs while sitting in that tub.

A golden shower - no, not the good kind (and by "good", I mean "voluntary").

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

R.I.P. JEFF BRAZILL OF PONYTAILED CONSERVATIVE

I got an e-mail from Jeff's business partner informing me that my blogson Jeff of Ponytailed Conservative has died.

A message from Jeff's mother:

"...pass along this information to Jeff's fellow bloggers. He derived a great sense of community from you all and them, as well as deep friendships, both of which he needed.."

Obituary in the Lynchburg, VA News & Advance:

Michael Jeffrey (Jeff) Brazill, 43, of Lynchburg, died Thursday, July 6, 2006 at his home.

Born September 20, 1962, in Idaho Falls, Idaho, he was the son of Margaret Williams Brazill of Lynchburg and the late George James Brazill. Jeff was a self-employed computer programmer and was of Episcopal faith.

In addition to his mother, Jeff is survived by one son, Joshua Michael Brazill; two brothers, Brian Brazill of Lynchburg and Eric Brazill and his wife, Taylor of San Diego, Calif. and his stepmother, Carolyn Brazill of Amherst.

A memorial service, to be announced, will be held at a later date.

To send a condolence to the family, please visit www.whittenfuneralhome.com.

Whitten Funeral Homes & Cremation Services, Park Avenue Chapel is serving the family.

Published in The News & Advance from 7/8/2006 - 7/9/2006.

Right now I'm just passing the news. I'm not in a place where I can really compose any sort of eulogy. You can read Phily Phil's post for more information. Permalinks don't seem to work, so just look for the post titled "Rest my friend..."

THAT 1 GUY'S BIRTHDAY PRESENT

Blogson That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom turned 39 today. I thought of the perfect gift for him, but then I realized he probably already had one.

Then it occurred to me that some things are just so damn useful that you should have one in every room in the house.

To that end, I'll just offer up his tenth copy of this handy instruction manual:

Happy Birthday, T1G.

DRINKS ON ANDREW

Blogson Andrew of Custos Honor just got his Bartender's License.

Go to this post and order a drink.

FATHER'S DAY ROUND-UP

Being a blogfather isn't just spankings, dirty diapers, and stick-figures crayoned on the walls. There's also the occasional Father's Day gift to make up for the other 364 days of burdensome responsibility.

This year is no exception

Upon putting out a request for new coffee cup, this is what I got:

Blogson That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom grossly overestimates my artistic talents. I'll probably draw something on it like

:-P
T1G IS A DORK!

Blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only! got me an adorable card. Ya know, I thought those were dancing condoms at first... that maybe he was trying to hint about having too many blogsiblings...

And no... I haven't gotten that coffee cup yet... probably stuck on some bureaucrat's desk blotter...

Blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World didn't get me anything tangible, but she HAS been parading around the house in shorts a lot, lately. I swear that woman's legs are 4 feet long. Quite an eyeful.

Bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks got a me a nice mug that will always remind me of her.

Well... her and bong water... but still, it's quite decorative.

Tommy of Striving for Average - despite not even being my blogchild - got me a little moral authority.

Terry_Jim of The People's Cube - again, no blog-relation - wanted to get me the perfect political mug, but it doesn't exist yet.

Guess I'll have to drink out of a T-shirt for a while.

FROM "CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY" TO "CAN'T SHUT UP"

Blogdaughter Boudicca of Skippy's Boudicca's Voice turned two yesterday.

Ya know, she was originally supposed to be the blogospheric answer to Erma Bombeck, but so far her fame merely resides in such phrases as:

"Chocolate Bunny Butt"

"Hung Like a Camel"

"Suck my Weenie"

"Boys that have to pee real bad when they are in the car"

Hopefully someday she'll start getting Google hits for above-the-waist-related topics.

Happy Blogiversary, Bou.

FOR BAD EXAMPLE FAMILY MEMBERS USING MOVABLE TYPE

Blogdaughter Teresa of Technicalities pointed out to me that some BE Family members are NOT showing as being "updated" on the Family blogroll, even when they've posted recently, and explains the solution thusly:

http://rpc.blogrolling.com/pinger/

For those who need specific directions to add the line:

Click on Weblog Config --> Preferences --> Publicity/Remote Interfaces/Trackback. Put it in the box that says "Notify the following sites when I update my blog:"

Anyway, I think it's sweet of her to notice things like this.

Just another reason why she's daddy's favorite.

IT'S A GIRL!

Blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice hides her pregnancies well. Her newest blogdaughter has been on-line since April, but I'm just finding out about it now.

So please welcome to the fold:

Mrs_Who of House of Zathras

Here's what she's got so far:

Teenagers are evil.

Art.

The reason for posting the art.

Cure for PDA? -"the Marines, or a chastity belt, or salt-peter".

Fridge-pimping.

Color quiz.

Catholic doo-dads.

Classic Movie quiz.

"God Bless America" has a spoken introduction? I didn't know that.

American English quiz, with some thoughts on California.

Mother's Day frustrations.

typ n a frAze n cvert it 2 SMS TXT lingo translator.

Hubby fixed her thermocoupler - which only SOUNDS dirty.

Goob is a bad driver. Can't hit a speed limit sign even if it's standing still. Keep practicing.

Armed Forces Day - a remembrance of her Grandfather - "Hell, I want to FIGHT the bastards, not BITE them".

What age do you act quiz.

Sounds like they were filming an episode of "Cops" outside her window.

Memories of her grandparents' house.

Anyone recognize this bottle?

Memorial Day tribute.

Part Two.

Part Three.

The joys of hurricanes.

Bathroom use - Men vs. Women.

More toilet blogging.

She FINALLY introduces herself to her guests (Note to Mrs_Who - link that post in the sidebar so that we can figure out who's who in your cast of characters. Or maybe just list the cast in your sidebar for easy reference to newcomers).

Always check the label if Mrs. W offers you a beer.

Snoopy makes flying that doghouse look a LOT easier than it actually is.

She has a dog for the same reason *I* do.

Favorite videos.

Goob STILL doesn't know how to hit stuff.

Al Gore thinks humanity is Earth's dandruff. Someone drown that boy in Head & Shoulders.

Beat the crap out of your computer! The mouse & keyboard are amazingly durable.

Border Patrol Web Cam Drinking Game.

Blue Angels ride-along video.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

IT'S A GIRL!

Bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks has brought a bouncing baby blogdaughter into the world.

In accordance with recent Bad Example Family Tree Trunk tradition, her daughter is actually her sister.

Tink of Tink's Tribulations

Cue the banjo music.

Anyway, let's see what's in the bassinet:

Teenage thong underwear blogging? Glad I'm not HER daughter.

See that face? The kid probably knows he's being blogged about.

Auto-pyromaniacal tendencies? - check.

Wow... and I thought *I* had a horse-dog...

Pic of Mama Bug having a bad make-up day. On the bright side, even without lipstick, eyeshadow, or blush, she's still DAMN hot.

The cast of characters - The folks Tink plans to blog about. For the record, sweetie, you need to either A) link that post somewhere near the top of your sidebar for easy reference or B) put the list itself in the sidebar. Your readers will thank you, because that's a HELL of a list. Either that or learn about the ACRONYM tag.

On the pain of saying goodbye.

Does Excedrin come in IV form? Maybe with an automatic timer on the drip, like a coffee-maker?

Good question - "Now explain to me how you can get an F in art?"

How did Tink wear out her batteries? *I'm* not telling...

Chicken recipe - I'll never try it, but only because it doesn't involve microwaving something in a cardboard tray.

Next on Fox - "When Trees Attack!"

So Bug's hubby is now "Bug Brains"... does this make anyone else think of those gigantic, maggoty-looking things in "Starship Troopers"?

Some Memorial Day thoughts, with pics of her military boys. Say, is that an EM3 patch on Nuke's shoulder?

Pointing out other good Memorial Day posts.

Kid blogging. If I had a paternal bone in my body, I'd probably say something like "AWWWW! Cute!"

A little game of "hide the hairbrush", anyone?

Which only SOUNDS dirty.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MACHELLE!

DAMN!

I left myself a reminder on the 26th to get her something nice, then forgot about it until this morning.

Nevertheless, I think my little Quality Weenie will enjoy her (first) 39th b-day present:

(click to enlarge)

RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU GOT THAT JOB YOU WERE AFTER

You... in the back... blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World.

Congratulations.

MEANWHILE ACROSS THE POND

Just a general update on Blogdaughter Sally of Whimsy Capricious and Blogson-in-law Alex of Alex in Wonderland, both of whom have been missing from the blogging scene for the last couple months.

They (and their daughter Tara) are alive and well and still living in England. They've bought a new house, the decorating of which is eating a lot of their time.

As you can imagine the house, whilst being brand spanking new, still needs a lot of work doing to it to bring it from just being a house into being a home.... almost all the spare time and effort we have is going into getting the living room right at the moment - my nice bonus I got for project completion just went on a new sofa, paint, cushions and curtains. We are having new flooring laid next week in that room in an effort to have at least one room done in the way that we want. On top of all of that I have my family threatening to come down and see the house so we have to get something sorted sooner rather than later in that respect too.

The downside, of course, is that there will be no more Munchkin stories.

Meanwhile Alex is ungodly busy with his business, so while he has the URGE to write, he hasn't got the time.

On the bright side, I found one of his recent clients to be particularly fascinating.

I wonder when this will hit the States?

CRACKING UNDER PRESSURE

Blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice has relented to my nagging and agreed to put up a "Reader Quotes" section in her sidebar.

Now all she needs is some quotes.

If you have something interesting, witty, or even sufficiently silly to say about Bou or her blog, go drop it in her comments.

For example:

"Like Erma Bombeck, except with more funny. AND more sword-wielding vengeance."

or

"Smart like The Professor. Hot like Mary Ann. Unpredictably violent like a Kupa-Ki headhunter."

IT'S A(NOTHER) GIRL!

Bloggranddaughter MathCogIdiocy has also made a blogdaughter out of her niece (who says a family tree needs branches?):

Zephyr of Zephyr's Place

(Not to be confused with her blogcousin TalulaZephyr of Love and Kool-Aid Stains, who is someone entirely different... although I've never actually seen them together, so this could be a Batgirl/Barbara Gordon kinda thing, but let's not jump to any hasty conclusions...)

Let's take a peek:

Anyway, Zephyr, you can pick up a Bad Example Family logo from this post, and you may, if you wish, blogroll the rest of the Bad Example Family using the handy blogrolling javascript, although neither is a requirement.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

IT'S A GIRL!

Bloggranddaughter MathCogIdiocy has made a blogdaughter out of her sister (I swear, sometimes I think the Bad Example Family tree is nothing but trunk):

The Other Sister Person of The Other Sister Person

Ok, that's getting shortened to TOSP right now.

Anyway, let's see what she's got:

A guest post - with nearly as much suck as the first one. I'm glad to see that these ladies have such respect for tradition.

A little glimpse into her life - she works in the Dementia Zone, which is either a hip & trendy clothing store, or some sort of bizarro dimension ruled over by Rod's brother, Todd Serling.

A display of her needlework talents - my fingers are cramping just THINKING about trying to make something like that.

TOSP, you might want to go into your template and change the "#" to the word "permalink" so as to help prevent confusion to random passers-by.

Anyway, TOSP, you can pick up a Bad Example Family logo from this post, and you may, if you wish, blogroll the rest of the Bad Example Family using the handy blogrolling javascript, although neither is a requirement.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

IT'S A BOY!

Every once in a while you find someone who's doing good writing in the comments, and you hang your head and weep because you know he's not getting the attention he deserves.

At which point you feel morally obligated to give him a swift kick in the ass so he gets his own blog.

Thus it was with a gentlemen who'd been doing Alliance Assignments for quite a while (and doing them well) under the name ssj2gunslinger.

Well, after repeated ass-booting some gentle persuasion, he's taken the plunge and become my newest blogson:

The Wandering Gunslinger of The Gunpowder Grotto

Let's peek down the barrel:

A bit about him - his name is Charlie, Charles, Chas and/or Carlos, but if you call him Chuckie, a demon-possessed, knife-wielding doll will carve you up like a Thanksgiving turkey. And he's also... oh crap... Irish. Great. Another brawling, besotted, shillelagh-swinger on the blogroll...

An interesting question - where are all the giant Hitler statues? WWII buffs please chime in on this.

Attack of the Japanese Nazi Vampires From Brazil - Neither Roger Corman NOR Bert I. Gordon... guess again.

Anyway, Wandering Gunslinger (what a pain in the fingers THAT is to type. I may just take to calling you Gunny) you can pick up a Bad Example Family logo from this post, and you may, if you wish, blogroll the rest of the Bad Example Family using the handy blogrolling javascript, although neither is a requirement.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

JUST ONE OF THE GUYS

Blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice got herself a new nickname.

So I thought I'd help her celebrate by giving her a new banner for her blog.

(click to enlarge)

IT'S A GIRL!

Bloggranddaughter Rave of Quid Nunc just popped out a brand new baby blogdaughter.

And - believe it or not - it's NOT a relative!

The Bad Example Family gene pool is actually getting some new DNA!

So let's wave a little pink rattle to distract Hippie of Bohemian Rhapsody while we peek at her site:

Moving right along, and changing gears with a ragged grinding of mental metal - Wal-Mart lesbian midgets.

No, I'm NOT Google-baiting, that's actually the subject of her post.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

ZOMBIE BLOGGER RETURNS FROM DEAD

Bloggrandson Neon Angel of Lyrical Coma has finally posted again after a 9-month hiatus, and explains what happened to him.

Basically 600+ words that boil down to "the dog ate my homework", but it's a start.

Meanwhile, does anyone know of a good World of Warcraft 12-step program?

ED HOCHULI ISN'T BUYING IT

Blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice said:

I don’t look ANYTHING like those raven haired exotic women they had on the dance floor.

PHWEEEEEEEET!

OO! Looks like we've got a flag on this one

This might be a 15-yarder for flagrant bullshitting...

The referee's are talking it over, and you know it's never a good sign when they go into conference like that...

...well, it looks like they're going to review this one...

...

Don't these guys EVER stick to the 90 second limit?

...

Ah! Here he comes...

"After review, we find that Bou is TOTALLY HOT, and the penalty will be enforced from the spot of the foul"

Sorry, Bou, looks like you have to get up & dance now

TAKING HIS ONE MAN SHOW ON THE ROAD

Blogson That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom - normally found on a barstool in Illinois - is taking his band (namely himself and his car) on a whirlwind trip to such exotic foreign countries as Arkansas, Georgia, Florida, and Tennessee.

Figured this epic journey needs a little commemorative symbology:

(click to enlarge)

SAME BLOGGRANDSON, NEW LOCATION - A RE-BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT

The Blogger Formerly Known As The Babaganoosh (blogson of my blogdaughter Oddybobo of Bobo Blogger) has moved his archives over to a fresh & shiny WordPress.com blog, complete with his Blogspot archives.

For now, he shall be known as Chris McCray's Tutor of An Unfortunate Intrusion of Reality. For the sake of brevity, I may take to calling him "MC Tutor", since it has that edgy, hip-hop sound to it.

Anyway, I'll be updating the Bad Example Family blogroll accordingly. Those of you with hardcoded blogrolls are encouraged to do similarly.

A technical note - I've noticed that sometimes when I go there using Firefox, the white center column background doesn't load, and the page-wide gray background makes the text almost painfully unreadable. If this happens to you, just hit refresh, and the white background will load.

Apparently he's living in Maryland now (and may have been for a long time, for all *I* know) and has kindly pointed out some Fun Facts about Maryland that I overlooked in my listing, including:

*Old Bay Seasoning is a blend of herbs and spices very popular in the state of Maryland. It is commonly used to season crab, shrimp, and fries. Asking where to find Young Bay is Maryland’s only capital offense.

*It’s actually pronounced Murlin. I still haven’t got the hang of that one.

*Prince George’s County is the richest black-majority county in America. This is ironic, since it borders Washington DC and we all know how much George Bush hates black people.

*The town is not named after Chevy Chase. Chevy Chase named himself after the town.

Welcome back to the family, MC.

CELEBRITY FIT CLUB 4?

Probably be the only place you'll see Britney Spears, if blogson-in-law Alex of Alex in Wonderland is making an accurate assessment.

she will need a drill sergeant to get her back into any kind of shape to appeal to that market ever again

Like this one?

[off-topic - Celebrity blogging probably falls into the "critters that mess up carpets" category]

And in real-world news, Alex is looking to improve his employment prospects.

IT'S A BOY!

This one's been a long time coming, but my real-world blogless brother Tom has finally taken the plunge into the blogging world, mostly as a result of being pissed off at Wisconsin's socialist rag newspapers, frustrated by stupid people in general, and only having occasional visits with me during which to vent his frustrations.

A caution - his spelling & grammar aren't exactly according to Strunk & White, but he gets his point across, and he has a habit of popping off some nice one-liners, so focus on those.

Let's take a look at what we have so far at NoWhere News:

Shame on Blogless Brother for breaking tradition.

Heh. He forgot a title - but I love this line:

If I didn't have better thing's to do like rearrangeing my sock drawer I'd be fire bombing YOUR Embassy and pissing on a picture of mohammad but, since I don't want to offend my piss I won't.

Obviously my brother does not respect the beliefs of violently-rioting terrorists. How insensitive.

MONKEY JABBER PART 1 - AGAIN with the insensitivity... for shame... Anyway, since you probably don't know what "Haneek rabbak" means and he failed to link to the translation, you can check this (extremely not safe for work) list of Arabic curse words.

Yeah, I told him about the importance of expository hyperlinking, but since he's my older brother (by 2 years), he was too busy giving me wedgies to listen.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

BLOGSON NOT MIA

Blogson Jeff of Ponytailed Conservative has dropped me a line to let me know that his reason for only posting once in the last month is because of a death in the family, which required his presence out of state in a remote and internetless section of the country.

Meanwhile, he HAS posted again, this time to point out that Hillary Clinton has her head firmly up her ass with her comments on the issue of the London-based company Peninsular & Oriental Steam Navigation Co. selling its control of several U.S. ports to United Arab Emirates-based Dubai Ports World.

*MOMENT OF SILENCE*

I've never owned a ferret, but I've played with a few. They're funny and adorable.

Blogson GEBIV lost his ferret, Slinky.

I mourn with him.

I also noticed that he was feeling down in general, possibly for non-Slinky related reasons:

But sometimes it's hard to see where I've really done any good by being around.

I'm reminded of a quote, and I'm paraphrasing: "I'll make about as much of a hole in life as your finger does when you pull it out of a bucket of water."

I know what he's TRYING to get at with the quote - that when your finger leaves the water, the water closes up like your finger was never there. But the FIRST thing I thought of was that the quote was referring to taking your finger out of a hole in the BUCKET, and all the water would drain out.

I believe the second one is closer to the truth.

Truth is, I would be a very dry bucket without GEBIV. I owe him a LOT. Mostly in regards to the Alliance of Free Blogs.

Because he's one of the few people who actually GETS why I post assignments twice a week.

It's not because I think it's important, it's because there's satisfaction in meeting the challenge of trying to be silly on a specific topic twice a week. It helps you develop a little self-discipline as a writer, and it also gives you a chance to experiment with new styles & techniques of humor. Some work, some don't, but at least you TRY, and you broaden your horizons by doing so.

The fact that he's been one of the few people who consistently completed assignments with me is greatly appreciated. Sometimes that game got pretty darn lonely.

He's also one of the few people I'd trust to do justice to the round-ups, and I'm VERY grateful that he took those over for me. He gives me the chance to spend more time with my wife, friends, & blogkids. You ALL owe him one for that.

Whether that "one" is a debt of gratitude or a punch in the head, I leave to your discretion, but still...

Anyway, GEBIV, you're a good writer with a great sense of humor, and your absence would leave me with a broken bucket and a puddle on the floor, so leave your finger where it is.

...Which only SOUNDS dirty.

IT'S A BLOGIVERSARY!

On Feb. 15th, 2004, bloggranddaughter Sissy of And What Next... cursed the effects of hot dogs on canine colonic expulsions.

Her posting has gotten slightly less unsavory since then.

Except for this part:

I have witnessed the births and even some of the conceptions of many Bad Example Family members!

Seriously, folks, you REALLY don't want to have to witness Bad Example Family conceptions. They make "Caligula" look like a trip to Mr. Rogers Neighborhood.

My sympathies to Sissy for having to live through the trauma.

And my best wishes in her second year.

SEND YOUR LOVE ACROSS THE POND

Blogdaughter Sally of Whimsy Capricious explains what she's been doing lately - taking care of a daughter who had a near-fatal episode that required hospitalization.

Please go send a prayer, or whatever it is that you do in these situations.

Comments would be fine, too.

Now if only we could get her husband Alex to come out of hiding...

IT'S A GIRL!

Blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice has blessed me with another bouncing baby bloggranddaughter:

Rave of Quid Nunc

Ok, first things first: how the HELL do you pronounce that?

Now let's have a peek under the little pink blankie...

Artsy photo of herself - You'd think that living in Oklahoma she'd be getting a little more sun and be able to lose that unhealthy gray complexion.

Swim practice - Ya know, back in MY day, we had to ride our bikes two miles, uphill, both ways when we wanted to go to the swimming pool.

Hey, now HERE'S a sucky post! I'll have to teach her about the Bonfire of the Vanities.

Ass wax... just be grateful for the lack of pictures.

So THAT's what happened to Ben! Great guy. Haven't seen him in years.

Plum Pleasure Nubs - yes, it's about what you think it's about. Although she doesn't explain whether "plum" is the size or the color.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

BLOGSON CUSTODY BATTLE

Ok, Blogson Deathknyte of Bad Catholicism technically isn't just mine.

The Humble Devildog of Random Firings of Neurons and Beth of Yeah, Right, Whatever are looking to get him on weekends & holidays.

Now it IS true that HD & Beth got him primed, but they'd been priming him for like a year with no results. I actually persuaded him to crawl out of the birth canal.

However, I suppose I should do the honorable thing and update the Bad Example Family Tree post to note their contributions.

Anything to avoid child support payments.

Besides, that way I can blame Deathknyte's questionable behaviors on faulty genetics.

IT'S A GIRL!

Blogdaughter Tammi, has followed solidly in my footsteps my transforming her niece into her blogdaughter.

I swear, this family tree is more recursive than a Moebius strip.

Nevertheless, it's a pleasure to introduce Carmen of I'll Do What I Wanna Do...Gosh!.

Let's peer into the bassinet:

Stuff about her - My word! I'll bet most of the folks she's met in the meat-world don't know all this.

Issues with alarm clocks

Text anxiety - all that missing is the dream that she's taking the test in her underwear.

Oh, wait... that's MY dream... nevermind...

Is this a scene from The Shawshank Redemption?

Weatherblogging!... can cats be far behind?

Brags about how wet she is. I *like* that in a woman.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

WHO THE HELL IS STICKS?

Short answer, my bloggranddaugter who runs From Chaos to Serendipity.

Long answer - available in the interview at Basil's Blog

Out-of-context medium-sized answer:

"soggie right now"

"I plead the 5th"

"multiply like rabbits"

"the tang and exoticness of the islands"

"Toot! Toot! Peanut Butter!"

"alcohol induced intelligence"

IT'S A BOY!

You may have seen him in the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiller's comments (among other places) posting as Deathknyte. Thanks to a recent evening of alcohol, tobacco, and cajoling, I got him sweet-talked over the edge and into his own blog. Allow me to introduce my latest blogson:

Bad Catholicism

It's been a long time coming, but he's making up for it:

Iran, nukes, and the UN - A full-on fisking. If there's a pulled punch in there anywhere, *I* didn't see it.

Computer game reviews - "The Battle for Middle Earth" (bonus points for the Charlie Brown reference, minus points for use of the phrase "orcs getting wood") and "Civilization IV" ("global worming"???).

And would someone please get that poor boy a DOS emulator?

His first exposure to Blogger having fits. It's SO cute the first time that happens :-D

UW Eau Claire bans Bible-studies - Deathknyte tears 'em a new one. Also I was surprised to learn that "Tunnel of Oppression" was NOT the sequel to "The Vagina Monlogues".

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

FAMILY INDUCTIONS

Per _Jon of We Swear's comment to this post, the "rules" for being absorbed into the Borg collective Bad Example Family are currently misaligned to my personal mission of using blogging as a means to maximize fun, friendships, and happiness.

Therefore, either the rules must change, or the mission.

*cue tension-inducing music*

...or maybe there's a third option...

(to be continued)

AND I THOUGHT IT WAS BAD WHEN KIDS BROUGHT HOME STRAY KITTENS

When I was a kid, I let a stray cat into the house, and promised Dad that I'd feed it & clean its litter box & such.

Guess who ended up taking care of it?

Well, blogson Contagion of Miasmatic Review has pulled a similar stunt. He got drunk and adopted CalTechGirl of Not Exactly Rocket Science. But he doesn't want to do the responsible thing and be her blogdad. He wants her as a blogSISTER.

Which means he expects me to adopt her as a blogdaughter.

Well, I don't have anything against this in principle - Lord knows I've done it before - but all my prior adoptions have been bloggers who needed love, support and encouragement as they struggled with the day-to-day vagaries of finding the will to post in the face of an indifferent world. Callie's already a big girl. She's even on MuNu, so she's already well-loved and supported. She doesn't NEED me.

So, I'm conflicted. She's good people, and I wouldn't mind having her call me Daddy (wait... did that sound dirty?... nevermind), but if I go around adopting just ANY well-established blogger that gets dragged kicking and screaming onto my doorstep, who knows what might happen? I could wind up as Instapundit's blogfather or something, and be driven insane with his incessant "Hmmm...", "Heh", and "Indeed".

Not to mention the risk to my horse-dog Jake.

So, here's my options, and I'm willing to take input:

A) Refuse CalTechGirl admission to the Bad Example Family unless someone *cough*Contagion*cough* adopts her as their blogdaughter.

B) Sigh, curse Contagion under my breath, accept the fact that - when the kids bring home strays, daddy gets the duty - and adopt CalTechGirl myself. Whereupon I will celebrate her induction, welcome her with open arms, and give her as much love and support as I give all my other blogoffspring.

So... A or B?

Speak your piece, folks.

IT'S A GIRL!

I'm so proud of blogdaughter Tammi, because she's created a blogdaughter of her own. In this case, it's Ktreva, wife of Contagion of Miasmatic Review. Numerous folks have been badgering Ktreva for months, but it looks like Tammi was the one who FINALLY got her squeezed out of the womb and into:

The Reality Ranch

Let's have a look at the feisty little bundle of joy:

Stuff about her - Conveniently hidden under the misleading title of "Traditional sucky first post" is Ktreva's second post, which has the basics about her as well a link to a terribly improper photo of herself wherein she blatantly exposes her naked ankles.

Hussy.

A QUIZ! - She's phlegmatic. Which has less to do with actual mucus than one would suppose.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

IT'S A BOY!

The Bad Example Family tree grows ever more recursive, since - with the help of blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice, I've spawned another blogson.

Blue Tige of Blue Tige.

No, I have NO idea how that's pronounced. Teej? Teeg? Ty-GEE?... well, we'll figure something out. Takes after his blogmom in having a name that no two people in a group will pronounce the same way.

Anyway, let's have a look in the cradle:

The short version of his life story. He's been a LOT of places, so hit him up for travel advice if you're not sure whether you can drink the water where you're going.

Likes helping kids. Me, I just make 'em stand in the corner and think about what they've done.

Two days into blogging, and he already has his first navel-gazing post. Wins award for best run-on sentence in the process.

Kid with a new toy - PICTURE POSTING!: Mid-air refueling, F-16 in flight, BT in Hawaii (get a haircut, hippy!), Blue tigers, Elvis in all his greasy, pouty glory, bored blue tiger, the ultimate Stealth Fighter Plane, airborne NASCAR, and... oh my God! He had Chilly Willy stuffed & mounted!

Says something nice about his blogsister. Figure they'll be pummelling each other like real siblings pretty soon though. The good times never last ;-)

Posts some lyrics for a rainy day.

I don't know what song this line is from, but I *did* giggle inappropriately when I read it.

Lists his weird habits, the last of which I don't consider weird so much as a recognition that people who work fast food are not necessarily all that bright.

The link in this post needs fixing. I'll have to talk to him about that. Ah well, everyone stumbles. Maybe his blogger baby booties are on the wrong feet again. Sometimes Bou gets distracted while dressing him :-)

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

JOHNNY-OH SAFE & SOUND

In case anyone saw this headline on FoxNews.com:

Elevator Crushes Two in Tenn. Accident

It wasn't Johnny-Oh of Closet Extremist.

I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT!

Bloggranddaughter Sissy of And What Next... has her interview posted at Basil's Blog.

Some out-of-context excerpts:

"her pelvic bone and I"

"in a pitcher"

"I’ve never felt"

"All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You"

"can’t find the picture"

"I also have a couple of other people I know who I think would be good, but I’m still working on them"

"I thought by now I would have given it up"

"I could get into some good trouble with it"

Go see Basil to find out if Sissy's as naughty as she sounds.

WHEN BLOGKIDS BICKER...

Daddy's gotta step in.

And, as usual, I'm taking the girl's side, because Tammi's so delicate & helpless.

Here's the deal. Blogson Contagion of Miasmatic Review is holding some of blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World's pretty glassware hostage and is asking for ransom.

"Help! Help!" says Tammi.

Actually, it was "if I can just figure out a way to twist Contagion's demands and put 'em back on him........I wish I were more devious", but that's close enough.

How DOES one respond to a ransom demand?

Why, with blackmail, of course.

Hopefully Tammi can get a little leverage out of Contagion's darkest secret (see extended entry):

MAYBE IT'S JUST ME

But when I saw this list of Icelandic Christmas Elf names posted by bloggranddaughter ArmyWifeToddlerMom:

Stekkjarstaur - Gimpy
Giljagaur - Gully Imp
Stúfur - Itty Bitty
�vörusleikir - Pot Scraper Licker
Pottasleikir - Pot Licker
Askasleikir - Bowl Licker
Hurðaskellir - Door Slammer
Skyrgámur - Skyr Gobbler (Skyr, an Icelandic yoghurt-type)
Bjúgnakrækir - Sausage Snatcher
Gluggagægir - Window Peeper
Gáttaþefur - Doorway Sniffer
Ketkrókur - Meat Hooker
Kertasníkir - Candle Beggar

I immediately thought "midget-porn movie-star names".

*BOOKMARK*

Selected excerpts from blogdaughter Boudicca's post about the perfect bra:

"mouthed"

"over my clothes"

"spreadage"

"spillage out the front"

"voluptuous"

"flung the door open"

"we’re lesbians"

"the middle tie would come undone and I’d come apart"

"Forty bucks for some guy to spend 5 seconds"

"With that bra you don’t need padding under your sweater!"

CHRISTMAS AT TAMMI'S WORLD

Plus pictures of Tammi's beloved Tampa Bay Buttaneers (that's not an insult, that's a description of the picture).

Secret surveillance photos courtesy of Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite.

TIME TO BE NOSY

Bloggranddaughter Sissy of ...And What Next is getting ready to be interviewed up at Basil's Blog.

Questions due by 12-17-05.

E-mail basil.interviews-at-gmail.com with subject "Questions for Sissy of And What Next", or go to the interview page, scroll down, and click the handy link which automatically puts that into your e-mail for you.

Don't know what to ask her? Then check this post and request some clarification on some of those half-answered "about me" items.

She doesn't embarrass easily, so put some effort into it.

ODDY...WHO?

Now you can find out all those things you ever wanted to know about Oddybobo of Boboblogger, because her interview is up at Basil's Blog.

Some favorite quotes:

"Nothing says White Trash like food still in its tin foil bag!"

"my sister was dating both of his roommates, at the same time"

Don't forget to check the schedule to see if there's someone upcoming upon whom you'd like to pick.

INTERVIEW WITH THE BUGMEISTRESS

Bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks now has her interview posted at Basil's Blog.

Go read, if only to discover how she'd refer to a theoretical third child on her blog, i.e. Tater, Tot, and...

IT'S A GIRL!

Teresa of Technicalities has presented me with a bouncing baby bloggranddaughter:

MathCogIdiocy of MathCog Idiocy

Might have to start calling her MCI.

Possibly Micki.

Let's take a peek under the pretty pink blanket:

Spring semester class list - be sure to ask about her research project.

Starts slinging Drambuie around like a drunken sailor. How rude! Alcoholic beverages should be treated with kindness, respect, and a thirst beyond reason. Try to work on those first two.

Explains the difference between Mathematics and Arithmetic. She'll be relieved to know that the only arithmetic she needs to know to be part of the Bad Example Family is that 6 + 9 = 69.

Looks like she spilled some of that Drambuie. Possily several hundred thousand gallons.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

IT'S A GIRL!

And my naughty blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World has been hiding her for almost a month.

BAD Tammi!

Let's peek into the cradle of TalulaZephyr of Love and Koolaid Stains...

Wait... TZ? Should I start calling her Tease?

Teez?
Teze?

I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually...

Anyway...

Some thoughts on forgiving mistakes.

Prayers for train-derailment victims.

The agony of trying to find medication for your child that does more good than harm.

Begging for mercy on the computer front:

Share with me some crazy things spreadsheets might be used for. I know not all of us can understand the beauty of spreadsheets but maybe if we somehow relate it to alcohol or sex... i dunno just a thought.

Sex? Well... "spread"... "sheets"...
It's self-explanatory, right?

I wish this described MY mom.

An excerpt from The Mommy Manual.

And all kinds of short but powerful poetry:
Naked Me
Praying Mantis
Flower Pot
Grow
Most Beautiful Rose
Run
Fallen
Koolaid Stained Counters

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

IT'S A GIRL!

And I sit here chortling with smug, "I told you so" glee.

Blogdaughter Teresa of Technicalities took a LOT of persuading to trade her comment-ghosting gig for a blog of her own, and now she's gone and conned someone else into starting a blog, thus birthing a blogdaughter of her own.

I'm just gonna smirk for a while...

... Ok, let's have a look at Irishpixie of Pixie Dust Productions, Inc.:

A tiny little bit about her.

Airline news - due to new airline luggage weight limitations, you'd best not pack that feather-duster unless you REALLY need it. Every ounce counts, people.

One of the few non-standard uses for mayonnaise that I haven't tried.

Hits us with a hippy-music earworm. Unless she's talking about Rancid's version of the song.

Mushy stuff.

A few reasons not to make a 17-hour plane trip.

Mmmm... bacon sandwich...

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

COMMENT PARTY!

Blogdaughter Teresa of Technicalities posts:

After tonight I won't be online again until Friday.

WHEN will people learn not to announce that their blogs have been left unattended?

Meanwhile, Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite has brought in a case of Tequila, and bloggranddaughter Sissy of And What Next... is already requesting Marines - she's just insatiable!

Anyway, I know JUST what this party needs, so I'm headed over there...

FAMILY HISTORY

So people keep hearing about this "Bad Example Family", how we're a bunch of sick, twisted, perverts & troublemakers.

But ya figure... we were all kids once, too.

Sweet, innocent, charming, harmless...

*sound of needle being dragged across a record*

Yeah, I'm feeding you bullshit.

Blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World has the REAL scoop on the Bad Example Family: The Early Years.

'Tain't pretty, but it's about right.

BIRTHDAY GIRL

Blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice is having a birthday today.

I have to say that for a 40 year old mother of three boys, she's still lookin' pretty damn hot.