THINGS THAT SHOULDN'T BE MADE OUT OF YARN, BUT ARE

Remember Meanie Babies?

Splat, the Road Kill Cat

Patricia Waller's work makes them look like Precious Moments figurines [via Regretsy]:

It's like Bart Simpson learned how to crochet, but only did it while watching Itchy & Scratchy cartoons. There's a level of sick and wrong to this stuff that can only be witnessed, not described.

And if you've got a twisted sense of humor like me, I highly recommend witnessing.

NURTURING MY INNER OCD

Lynn of Violins & Starships linked "Things Organized Neatly", which is just pictures of... well, I guess the title is self-explanatory. If you've got a LOT of chaos in your household, you'll probably find the site as soothing as I do.

Here's one of the many clever images from the site:

Which actually made me a little sad, but only because it made me realize that I live in a state whose shape is such that it was only useful as an awkward space-filler, and not one of the fortunate states that created the border.

FUN LITTLE TIMEWASTER

Gluey

The blobs are trapped, and only you can free them. Click large blobs to make them disappear, and use special items to improve your score!

Each round is unique and random. Stuck? Just restart the level and get a new starting combination!

After finishing all 15 levels, you unlock Zen Mode. Fun enough, but I got frustrated that I can't crack 1000 points.

FOR YOUR SHOOTING PLEASURE

Blogson _Jon of We Swear pointed me to these fancy silhouette shooting targets (via From Where I Sit):

If you don't recognize some of them, the answers are here.

WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO (SHORT VERSION)

Attending Contagion of Miasmatic Review's Beer Tasting. Pleasant surprises included the very delicious Xingu and - I can't believe I'm saying this - Budweiser's Clamato Chelada, which tasted very much like salty, spicy tomato juice, and very little like Budweiser or clams. Which is a good thing.

The beer tasting was neatly organized and quite efficient this year. Now that Contagion has the hang of it, you really owe it to yourself to attend the next one. It's a very good time.

He asked me to make suggestions for improvement, and I have little to offer. The only possibilities I can think of are a second rinse bucket that's not near the pouring station, and possibly a second person helping with pourings. Depending on attendance, these might become necessities next time.

Around the internet, a few discoveries:

Cake Wrecks - "When professional cakes go horribly, hilariously wrong" (via Dave of Sheldon Comics).

Bacon-flavored vodka.

My First Dictionary - really wrong (via Lynn of Violins & Starships)

Bacon sandwich cures hangover.

This Is Why You're Fat - Hard-core calorie porn (via Lynn of Violins & Starships). NSFW if you work in the fitness industry.

Fun With Microwaves from LoadingReadyRun - the Christmas lights are the best.

If you're not following my Capitalist Propaganda series at IMAO, you're missing out big time. It's cartoons & instructional videos made back when people weren't ashamed to say nice things about America. There's even a few modern items, too.

Chart of Federal government spending, 1967 to 2007 - Anyone who talks about spending cuts is full of shit. The number has never gone down. The only thing that's changed is the rate of increase from year to year.

Star Trek: Phase II - Serious actors, small budgets, good intentions, guest appearances by Sulu & Chekov. Nice homage to the original series.

Portrait of the artist as a child.

The difference between your ideal weight and your happy weight (via Lynn of Violins & Starships) - my advice is to go for the latter. Very thought-provoking. If you hate your scale, please read this.

The NeoCube - Want.

RolCats - English Translations of Eastern Bloc Lolcats (as a former Cold Warrior, I find these allusions to Communist propaganda particularly delightful).

Pledge Fabric Sweeper - FINALLY! Something that actually picks up pet hair! But disposable at $5 a pop? I don't think so. I cut a flap in the top so I can empty it. Use a sharp knife and cut slowly. That plastic is brittle.

Is this racist?

Is this?

Who got more halo pictures - Bush or Obama? (inspired by the Scott Adams Blog)

I'm Shakespearioidal.

"If We Were 5 Years Old, We Would Know How to Protect the Environment" - which is why we don't let 5 year olds vote.

FingerStache - dumbest thing I've ever heard of.

5 Minute Chocolate Mug Cake - I haven't tried this yet because Beloved Wife keeps baking cookies for me, but it's on my to-do list.

Splicd - a web site that allows you to link a particular portion of a YouTube video instead of the whole thing. (via Physics Geek)

Boxes of aluminum foil have locking tabs that keep the roll in the box - WHY DID NO ONE EVER TELL ME THIS???

Pandora - internet radio that plays only stuff you like. Set up personalized stations based on similarity to an artist or a song. Make tons of different stations to suit your various moods. And yeah, it's free.

Tips for choosing a personal lubricant.

"Trimming the bush to make the tree look taller" - Grointastic shaving tip video from Gillette.

Finally, for those who caught the May 28th Fred Thompson Show and heard this at the 13 minute point:

[Download audio clip (900kb)]

Yes, that was me that Jeri was referring to.

WHY I LOVE THE INTERNET

Bloggranddaughter Mrs. Who of House of Zathras complained of being out of toilet paper.

On a whim, I Googled "virtual toilet paper".

Found this.

I tell ya, we live in an age of miracles. Celebrate it.

THUMB TYPING TUTOR

I was curious what a good typing speed is for two thumbs on a full-qwerty phone keyboard, because I figured it'd be WAY slower than 10-finger.

Apparently not.

These guys are doing 35-70.

Huh.

Anyway, if you want to learn how to touch-type on your phone keyboard, here's a nice tutorial that promises to get you up to speed in 2 weeks, assuming you can already touch-type on a normal keyboard.

YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT

Squeez-Bacon

[Hat tip: Lynn of Violins & Starships]

ETSY?

Via wRitErsbLock of Pereiraville, I've become aware of Etsy, which is essentially Ebay for handmade items.

Now, I don't do scrapbooking or quiltmaking or needlepoint, and I generally prefer to have my candy manufactured in inadequately ventilated factories by underpaid illegal immigrants. However, I realize that this site might have some appeal for those readers who have crafty inclinations, so I'm spreading the word.

Stylin' Doggies has a store there, so you can ask Quality Weenie about it if you're curious.

DO YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON THE INTERNET?

[Via Shamus of Twenty Sided] The rock band Weezer released a halfway decent song called Pork and Beans, the video for which contains references to 28 popular internet meme videos.

I've seen 16 of them before.

Score that a solid 57%, and I think this means my geek street cred is now somewhat in question.

Although to be fair to myself, I'd actually been tempted to click a link to Chocolate Rain before, but deliberately chose not to.

HANDY IF YOU'RE BORED OR HAVE KIDS

The 10,000 Page Coloring Book.

Abstract line drawings that you can print out and crayon to death.

[Hat tip: Lynn of Violins & Starships]

FREE BAD MOVIES

I spent this weekend being sick, so I was either sleeping or waking up with a Nyquil-over the whole time.

So I blame the Nyquil for following Lynn of Violins & Starships's link to B Movies.com, where you can watch streaming video of second... make that third... rate movies.

I actually squeezed in "A Boy and His Dog", mostly because I've read the Harlan Ellison story upon which it was based. They did a better job than I expected, but worse than I'd hoped. It runs 90 minutes, mostly because it spends 30 too many of them letting you gaze in boredom at the low-budget post-apocalyptic scenery, which doesn't need NEARLY that long to made its point.

Still, Harlan's dialogue does what it can to make up for it. Acerbic sci-fi is this man's untouchable forte, after all.

Anyway, go ahead & rummage around the site. Might find something to watch over a bowl of burnt popcorn.

FUN!

Neat little 2D flash game version of "Portal".

I gave up at level 9 because the game started moving very slowly. Must have hit a bandwidth chokepoint or a bad piece of code.

That, and my puzzler hurted.

[Hat tip: Twenty Sided]

STAR TREK, SEASON FOUR

Thought I'd pass this along to the folks who like original series Trek and wish it wouldn't have been cancelled.

Star Trek: New Voyages' producers/crew feel that Kirk, Spock, McCoy and the rest should be treated as "classic" characters like Willy Loman from Death of a Salesman, Gandalf from Lord of the Rings or even Hamlet, Othello or Romeo. Many actors have and can play the roles, each offering a different interpretation of said character. Though the character is the same, the interpretation of the actor is what's in question. We feel that the crew of the Enterprise has more to teach us about life and each other than has been explored to date. We also feel the new actors can add to the legend in a believable and contemporary way. Yes, some may have a problem separating Shatner from Kirk - all we ask is that you give it a try and see whether Kirk and the crew still have something to say to you.

This isn't just your normal crappy fan fiction webcast. They've actually got some of the original series cast members to play along.

Worthwhile to download if you have hi-speed.

DailyGames.com

(A paid review)

Via ReviewMe.com, I've been asked to review the site/services offered by DailyGames.com

Topics addressed in this review:
WHAT THEY DO
WHO THEY ARE
HOW'S THEIR REPUTATION?
IS THE SITE USER FRIENDLY?
HANDY FEATURES
CAVEATS
IMPROVEMENTS I'D LIKE TO SEE
WOULD I USE DAILYGAMES.COM?
CONCLUSION

WHAT THEY DO

DailyGames.com is a website that hosts over 3000 Flash, Shockwave, and Java games that can be played in your web browser.

WHO THEY ARE

From what I could dig up, it's an English-language offshoot of the Spanish game site JuegosDiarios.com. The site is registered from Spain, and its archives stretch back to 2002 (well, the very first game is dated 2002, but the next earliest date listed is 2004).

HOW'S THEIR REPUTATION?

Essentially non-existent on the web. The only significant reference I found was a single ReviewMe.com-paid review (which was positive) that was posted on three different sites.

On the bright side, McAfee Site Advisor said "We tested this site and didn't find any significant problems", so you're not likely to pick up any adware, spyware, or malware from Dailygames.com. My own experiment with running Spybot before and after visiting the site seems to confirm this.

IS THE SITE USER FRIENDLY?

Quite.

First, unlike a lot of game sites, the layout is clean, orderly, and not befouled by dozens of annoying, blinking ads. The few ads on the page are from Google, and are contextually relevant. They're usually plain text, although there are occasional animated ones.

The search feature - which is prominently displayed above the fold - searches both title and description, giving you a better shot at finding what you're looking for.

All games posted in the last month were functional. I found a few broken ones while randomly poking around in the archives, but they seem to be few and far between. Even links from the very first page of the archives were all functional.

All game links open in a new window, and again, the new page only features the Google ads - usually text.

The main page has links to the three applications (Flash, Shockwave, and Java) that you might need to play the games, which is a convenience.

If you're using Internet Explorer, the game window is resizable. Sadly, this feature is currently unavailable in Firefox.

HANDY FEATURES

One of the best features on the site is the ability to add games to your "favorites list" (see right sidebar, above the fold) with a single click. Removing them is an equally convenient single click away.

The Top Games Section (above the fold, right sidebar) gives you the ability to have the top 15 and top 100 games listed by either player ratings or frequency of being played.

Games are listed in reverse-chronological order on the main page, with the newest ones on top. And when they say, "new games added daily", that's exactly true. I checked the last 30 days, and it's been pretty much three new games every day, with rare, sporadic bouts of two or four. Random archive spot checks show the same pattern.

If you're interested in adding links to the site's latest games in your sidebar, there's a page that gives you the code to do so. The image size, number of links, text color, and background color are all customizable, so it can be made to match any decor:

[full disclosure - scrollbars aren't customizable in the form. I had to do a simple code-tweak for that, i.e. set scrolling to "yes".]

They have a large and descriptive category listing, which should pretty much be all you need to figure out where to start browsing:

2 players
Ability
Action
Adventures
Animations
Bloody
Board games
Cards
Cars
Classics
Fight
Football
For girls
Infantile
Logic
Multiplayer
Platforms
Puzzle
Shooting
Sports
Starships
Strategy
War

Finally, in the rare event that a game doesn't work, you can click the handy link at the bottom of the main page and notify the webmaster. I did that Tuesday evening (June 12th), for the game Terminate (which worked for me in IE, but not Firefox) but haven't heard back yet. I'll update if/when I do.

CAVEATS

Games aren't always in English (for example, Operation Tomato is in Spanish; Red Fighter is in Japanese) but they're usually intuitive enough to play anyway.

Speaking of language issues, the game descriptions are obviously written by someone for whom English is a second language, as they are lightly sprinkled with typos and grammatical near-misses. Depending on how healthy your sense of humor is, this can be either slightly annoying or ironically hip & amusing, in an Lolcats kinda way. For example, this description of Othello:

Board game very ressembling to the ladies in which it wins the one that has more crads from the same color over its board.

However, this is merely a translation issue. The site is otherwise competently run, neatly organized, and well-designed.

IMPROVEMENTS I'D LIKE TO SEE

There are no major usability or functionality issues with DailyGames.com. There's nothing about the site that would drive me away.

However, if the webmaster would like to polish this gem, I can suggest the following:

* At the bottom of the individual game pages, the phrase "¿Do you like DailyGames?" does not need to be prepended with an upside down question mark.

* On the individual game pages, in the box that pops up from clicking the "Recommend game" link, the "You forgot your password?" link opens up a dialog box that's in Spanish, not English.

* Consider adding a game window zoom control button that will return the window to it's original size. Also, it would be to your advantage to make the zoom controls functional in Firefox, as the browser is rapidly gaining in popularity.

* At the bottom of the main page, add a link that will either take the visitor back to the top of the page, or to the DailyGames.com home page. I know that DailyGames.com is linked at the bottom with "online games", but that's not obvious to the casual user.

* Make the top banner on the main page clickable, and linked to the home page. It'd be handy to be able to get back to the home page easily after multiple sessions of browsing categories or search terms.

* Consider having a full, alphabetical, linked listing of all games at the bottom of the front page, under everything else. Your competitor, OnlineGames.net, does it and it looks pretty handy. I also like that they list the number of games that are included in each category - something else you might want to try.

* Offer an opt-in mailing list for people who would like to be notified as to what new games have been posted.

* Currently, only the 11 most recent games are listed on the home page. Consider bumping this number up to 21 so that those who only browse on weekends don't have to click around to see what they missed. Remember, the more games you list on one page, the easier it is for visitors to find something they like and click on it.

* Include the "There is a Game that doesn’t work!" link on each individual game page. The easier that link is to find, the better chance you have of having your visitors help you keep all your links functional.

* Make obvious knock-off games easier to find with the site's search feature by including the similar and more popular game name in the description. For example, use the phrase "like Othello" in the description for the game 3-D Reversi.

* Consider adding a PayPal or Amazon donations box. Folks who find a great game at your site might be grateful enough to supplement your ad income. Doesn't hurt to ask.

* Host a discussion board for players to discuss strategy, hints, and tips.

WOULD I USE DAILYGAMES.COM?

Not only yes, but HELL yes!

They have a great selection of fun little time-wasters for those moments when I just don't feel like doing what I'm supposed to. For example:

Spaced Penguin - launch a penguin through space into his spaceship, taking changing gravity into account.

Pac-Xon - sorta like Qix.

Last Stand - kill zombies!

Electrocity - a PC, enviro-nut version of Sim City. Personally, I like to maximize pollution levels and scare all the hippies away.

Power pong - realistic-ish 3-D ping-pong game.

New Blackjack - pays 3 to 1 on Blackjack - Woo-hoo!

Clean your ass - an animation showing how to do the job in Sheryl Crow's "one square world" (warning, animation contains explicit cartoon poo)

The Hanged One - play Hangman while being heckled by a smart-ass Kangaroo.

Anyway, that's enough for starters. Best way to find more is click your favorite game category & just start browsing.

CONCLUSION

DailyGames.com is an excellent source of online games and a perfect way to waste otherwise unproductive time either at work or at home. Updated daily, so visit on a regular basis.

Definitely worth bookmarking.

I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE MORE LEG-SHAPED

Kinda disturbing, yet I can't deny that there's definitely an unfulfilled need for this product.

Hotdoll: The Sex Doll for Dogs

[Hat tip: Bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks for sending me the link]

[and yes, her blog's name IS particularly amusing when juxtaposed with the content of this post]

WHY THE FINNISH TOTALLY RULE

Besides linking me, there are two other reasons.

1) Some of the best cursing phrases ever.

Äitisi nai poroja - "Your mother copulates with reindeers"

Päässäsi tekee paska patoja ja kusi puroja - "In your head, shit builds dams and piss runs in rivers."

Pissaliisa - "Whorishly-dressed teenager" (literally "Pee Alice" - comes from the fact that often drunk, whore-looking, teenage girls pee on the streets during weekends.)

and plenty more I daren't post here.

2) Star Wreck - A series of Star Trek fan films of varying degrees of quality done entirely in Finnish, with theoretically accurate English subtitles. Most of these can be found by searching YouTube.

Star Wreck VII: In the Pirkinning, however, is another matter entirely. It's got something very much resembling plot and dialogue, it's feature-film length, and the special effects are as good as any in the actual Star Trek movies. Visually dazzling - especially the epic space battles.

But still, there's only one real reason to see it - for the inside jokes.

The basic premise is Star Trek vs. Babylon 5.

If you've seen every ST:TOS, ST:TNG, and B5 episode, then you MUST SEE THIS.

If you haven't...don't worry about it.

And yes, you can download the entire 550MB thing for FREE from the Star Wreck website. Or buy it on DVD if you're on dialup.

Now get going before I shoot you with twinkle beams and light balls!

NOBODY GETS ANYTHING DONE TODAY!

Because you'll be playing Boomshine, with its deceptively simple gameplay, pretty colors, and soothing music.

Curse you blogson Contagion of Miasmatic Review!

Anyway, for the later levels (10,11,12), try starting vertically centered and about 1/3 the way from either the left or right.

BugMeNot

Blogdaughter Michele of Letters From New York City posted a well-reasearched piece on the significant numbers related to 9/11. Most of these I've never heard before.

Odd that the MSM considers them less important than the body count in Iraq, since some of these numbers are also trickling upwards.

However, I'm here to make a tangential point. One of the footnotes in Michele's post says:

Some of the information was culled from Wikipedia and the NY Times (which I will not link to as it requires membership and means being subjected to lots of spam mail for you and me).

I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. The NY Times registration spaminator (as well as other compulsory registration sites) can be bypassed by using BugMeNot.

This site provides usernames & passwords for sites that require FREE, compulsory registration (they WON'T hand you the keys to pay sites, so don't bother asking). Just paste the URL of your target site in the search box and click the "Get Logins" button. You'll be sent to a page with several possible combinations of usernames & passwords.

Also, if you have a login you'd like to share, you may submit it to BugMeNot.

Finally, I should mention that Firefox has an extension available that allows you to automatically retrieve a login from BugMeNot by right-clicking on a login box and selecting BugMeNot from the context menu. I have it, I've used it, and it works great.

So the next time you want to send folks to an article that requires registration, you can rest easy, knowing that they can use BugMeNot to get the information without the spam.

9 SECONDS OF THE JUICIEST GUN PRoN EVER

Full auto Glock 9mm.

With twin drum magazine.

[via Frizzen Sparks, comment #6]

HEY! YOU! STOP THAT PRODUCTIVITY!

Contagion's gonna hate me for this.

Remember that fun little time-waster where you build towers to destroy creepy monsters as they shuffle their way through a small maze?

There's now a desktop version.

In the sense that the page it's on has a picture of the top of a desk as a background.

It's basically the same game as the other one, except that there's no maze. You have to make that yourself with the towers. Figuring out a good placement strategy should keep you busy for a little while.

[Hat tip: Shamus of Twenty-Sided]

WHO HAS TIME FOR BLOGGING?

When there are all these toys to play with (by the way, I've forgotten where I found some of these, so if you're on my blogroll and you've posted a pointer, feel free to take credit in the comments because it was probably you):

Splash Back - if someone figures out an actual strategy to this, please post on it. Although I made it to level 16 without one.

Monty Python's Silly Walk Generator

Crashdown - sorta like an inverse Tetris.

Pretty much anything on TrueNuff TV - watch out for language, though. Someone posted a link to one of their videos. Who was that?

Line Rider - make sledding hills for the little dude. Via I Hate My Cubicle!!!

WickedAwesomeFilms is pretty decent. Except for the language in spots.

Encyclopedia of Sex - VERY nasty. Don't even THINK about hitting this one from work. If you already know all these terms, you are a disgusting person. And I'm jealous.

Almost 2000 amusing cat pictures. It'll take about a month if you're on dial-up.

FamousIdiot.com - stupid things famous people are saying.

From 2003 - a list of signs that blogs have become mainstream. Re: "When a character on a sitcom has one" - See "How I Met Your Mother". Barney mentions his all the time.

Star Trek New Voyages - Think of it as Season 4 of ST:TOS

Via Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks - Tanks.

Via Shadoglare of Refractional Darkness in the comments to the above post - Scorched 3D. Yes, it's worth the 40 Meg download. Especially the game's Apocalypse option. Ah... the lovely screams.

Also, this list of things soldiers aren't supposed to write home about if they want to maintain operational security - I notice that the MSM does a LOT of them on a regular basis, especially #7

MIA blogson John of We Swear (who needs to fix his server or something) pointed me to the Tiddy Bear. Thought I saw this somewhere else, too. Anyway, buy one now for the woman in your life who's lacking in the Tiddy department.

Now go waste some time.

IF *I* CAN'T GET ANYTHING DONE, YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER

Via Blogson Contagion of Miasmatic Review, an annoyingly addictive time waster:

Build some towers, shoot some monsters, try to make it through all 38 levels with a better score than 5925.

Only took me 5 tries to make it all the way through.

Helpful hints in the extended entry...

EVER WONDER...

What a blogmeet at Straight White Eric's place is like?

It's a lot like this.

[Hat tip: bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks]

GET YOUR STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL - FAST!

Go to YouTube and search for Star Wars Holiday Special. Someone currently has it loaded in 10 parts (see the "Related" section at the site for the other parts). You can download them via KeepVid, if you want.

Better hurry. Lucas has his stormtroopers looking for this stuff.

And while we're at it, let's not forget the Star Wars guys on The Muppet Show

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

No guarantee on how long those links will be good.

KEEPVID.COM

Due to the rising popularity of YouTube videos (and because a reader asked me about this), I think I need to mention KeepVid.com again. It's a web page that allows you to download videos from sites that only offer streaming (like YouTube, Google Video, iFilm, and others).

All you do is copy the link of the page with the video on it and paste it in the box on the left. Then select which streaming video page you got it from, using the drop-down menu on the right.

Click the "Download" button, and you'll be given a "Download Link" to click.

Click that, and there ya go. Now you've got the video on your hard drive.

One caveat. Sometimes you'll get multiple format options, sometimes only one - usually FLV (flash video format). You can get a free FLV player here, if you need one. Only about a 1 meg download. Link to the FLV player can also be found at Keepvid.com.

OK, I DON'T HATE *ALL* CHRISTMAS MUSIC

Blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only! has 3 videos featuring the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.

They're all good, but I really like that last one.

Haven't enjoyed watching a music video that much since "Banditos" by The Refreshments.

NEW FANTASY LEAGUE

A while back I discussed "necessary soap story lines" - situations on soap operas that one or more characters will ALWAYS be experiencing - like:

Someone's getting married.

Someone's battling a "fatal" disease.

Someone's having an affair.

Someone has amnesia.

Someone doesn't know who the baby's real father is.

Well, someone's gone me one better. There's now a "Fantasy Soap League". Sorta like Fantasy Football, you pick your characters, and earn points when they find themselves in various classic soap situations. The complete list is too long to post here, but here are some of the 50-pointers to give you an idea:

# Surviving being shot or stabbed
# Surviving a car crash, plane crash, train wreck, motorcycle accident or any accident involving a means of transportation
# Surviving surgery (including plastic surgery)
# Surviving being poisoned
# Having a gun pulled on you
# Murdering someone
# Attempting to murder someone
# Pulling a gun on someone
# Coming in/out of a coma
# Dying
# Coming back from the dead
# Recovering from an illness or medical condition
# Flatlining (appropriate hospital equipment must be heard and/or seen or hospital staff must declare that the character has flatlined)
# Transplant (transplanter and transplantee receive points)
# Character never officially "dies" - but returns after at least a year (12 months) of consistent and visual absence
# Recasting or filling in - When announcement is made that a new actor will be playing the part of or filling in for the part of a character
# Admitting you murdered someone
# Hiring a person/hitman to kill someone.

Plenty of other ways to earn points, too. The complete list can be found at fantasysoapnet.com.

The only catch is that it costs $9.99 to sign up for a 10-week cycle, so I'm out.

Anyway, the only reason I'm mentioning this at all is that I'm tickled that SOMEONE out there admits how pathetically cliche and badly written these shows are.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to watching Days of Our Lives.

[Hat tip to Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite for mentioning this to me.]

MURDEROUSNESS AND EDUCATIONALITY - TOGETHER AT LAST!

Practice your typing skills while you blow up your enemies.

Figure if you blog, you should be a good enough typist to play this game.

[via bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks]

STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL

[Inspired by this post from IMAO pointing to this Weird Al video]

Witness the secret shame of George Lucas!

Featuring a cartoon with Boba Fett!

Singing Princess Leia!

Harvey Korman in drag!

Bea Arthur in drag!

and Wookies! Wookies! Wookies!

The whole thing, sans commercials, crappy, grainy, choppy quality, 1" x 1" display, RealPlayer format (scroll down) - 17.1 MB download

RealPlayer, if you don't have it - 9.5 MB download

The first 50 minutes at Google video

The animated cartoon segment featuring an appearance by Boba Fett.

Commercials from the SWHS:

Part 1

Part 2

[DISCLAIMER - Bad Example is not responsible for any mental scarring or cognitive disorders arising from the viewing of images linked above]

HOPE YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY PLANS THIS WEEKEND

After successfully completing level 1, I realized how addictive this game might be, so I quit while I still had the willpower.

Play Parking Perfection at your own risk.

ALL THE KLINGON YOU NEED

Since Straight White Eric brought it up in this post, I offer:

Hamlet: The Restored Klingon Version (available from Barnes & Noble)

FROM THE PUBLISHER
For too long, readers throughout the Federation have been exposed to The Tragedy of Khamlet, Son of the Emperor of Qo'nos, that classic work of Klingonâ„¢ literature, only through inadequate and misleading English translations. Now at last, thanks to the tireless efforts of the Klingon Language Institute, this powerful drama by the legendary Klingon playwright, Wil'yam Shex'pir, can be appreciated in the elegance and glory of its original tongue.

This invaluable volume contains the complete text of the play, along with an English translation for easy consultation and comparison. In addition, an incisive introduction explains the play's crucial importance in Klingon culture, while copious notes illustrate how the debased English version diverges from the original, often distorting and even reversing the actual meaning of the verses.

Khamlet, the Restored Klingon Version, is a work that belongs in the library of every human who hopes truly to understand what it means to be Klingon.

Also, a list of Star Trek episodes that make Shakespeare references.

And, of course, the Klingon Language Institute home page.

Not to mention an online Klingon Dictionary.

Now get out of here, before I smite thee with my batleth!

CLASSICAL MUSIC AND ELECTRIC GUITAR

So I'm driving around last night, and I've got Bach's Brandenburg Concertos playing, and it occurred to me - yet again - that a LOT of classical music has the energy, style, and intracacy to be perfectly suited to interpretation through modern instruments.

Yet I've rarely heard it done.

Illustrating my point - Pachelbel's Canon in D Major as arranged for electric guitar, drums, and electric bass, and keyboard - interpreted so passionately as to make me misty with reverence.

If anyone's familar with other modern arrangements of classical music, let me know.

What I wouldn't give for some more Electric Mozart...

REAL MEN USE NUCLEAR GRADE DUCT TAPE

Ah... THAT'S why the duct tape I used in the Navy was so much better than the crap I buy in the store.

Like indulging in a bottle of fine wine, I think everyone should try nuclear-grade duct tape at least once.

NOT FOR PEOPLE WHO FEAR PC

20 minutes of Carlos Mencia during his stand-up days, back before he got his own show.

If you're stuck on dial-up and can't do streaming video, try going to KeepVid, selecting "YouTube" from the drop-down menu, and downloading it while you do something else, like sleep or vacation.

THE BLOGIVERSARY CODE

So you have a buttload of favorite blogs, and you'd LIKE to celebrate their blogiversaries every year, but you just can't keep track of all those dates.

Jim of bRight & Early has a solution - The Blogiversary Database.

Just fill out the painfully easy form, confirm your submission, and you're in. Encourage your friends to do likewise, and you'll always be able to remember their special day.

For convenience, there's even a tiny piece of javascript you can put in your sidebar to display Blogiversaries (yesterday's, today's & tomorrow's). Once it's in your template, it updates by itself, so no extra work for you. Check my left sidebar below the Reader Quotes section to see how it looks.

Now go sign up so that I can keep track of you.

GEE, I GUESS MY PENIS REALLY *IS* TINY

Gaze into the Total Perspective Vortex and despair.

*TPV explained

[via Pajamas Media]

THE KING IS DEAD! LONG LIVE THE MAN!

Hadn't seen this commercial before, but thanks to Lynn of A Sweet, Familiar Dissonance, I've found an advertisement that speaks to my soul:

Burger King - Eat Like a Man - The Texas Double Whopper

In my heart, this is only second to the Vault Scarecrow commercial.

And yes, I *did* buy Vault soda JUST because I love that commercial so.

UPDATE: Lynn's got something to say to a vegetarian feminist who was offended by the commercial

SOMEONE CHECK BOSCO FOR A PULSE

My idea-lemur appears comatose, so I'll just send you off to play with some bubble-wrap while I break out the smelling salts and the defibrillator.

BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS

Dismount - Push a 3D stick figure down the stairs. More injuries = more points

Truck Dismount - 3D stick figure in a truck, which you crash into a wall. Again - pain = points.

Both games available here.

And since I'm feeling particularly cruel, here's an earworm for you:

The "Fruity Oaty Bars" commercial, as seen in the movie "Serenity".

NOT *MY* PROBLEM

I saw that Beth of She Who Will Be Obeyed posted a link to WEBoggle.

Which I passed along to Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite.

She'd hate me for getting her hooked on it, but that would cut into her playing time.

BEST D&D CARTOON EVER

I took a tip from bloggrandson Neonangel of Lyrical Coma, and checked out "The Order of the Stick", a thrice-weekly serial web comic.

Now, I was not an obsessive gamer in high school, but the rest of my friends from chess club were, and I went on a handful of campaigns. Enough to know what "roll for initiative" means, anyway.

So if you've even a passing knowledge of D&D, I think you'll find it amusing.

I'll give you 3 places to choose from for your first visit:

Comic #1 (it's very nearly at #300 now) - Get in on the ground floor and read them in order.

Comic #143 - A typical instance of the humor - the illustrations are of the player characters inside their quest, while the dialogue is pretty much what you'd hear from the players as they sit in the basement drinking Mountain Dew & eating Cheetos. This tickles me, for some reason.

Comic #136 - The Weapons Shop sketch - an homage to Monty Python (you KNEW there would be one in there somewhere, right?).

Anyway, I now return you to your regularly scheduled World of Warcraft session.

THIS ONE JUST MAKES MY BRAIN EXPLODE

Found this at American Digest

(click to enlarge)

Square A and Square B are the same color.

I saw the animated video which proves it. It didn't convince me.

I read the explanation. It didn't convince me.

I downloaded the pic, opened it up in MS Paint, cut out a chunk of square B and slid it up to square A...

After about 5 minutes of sliding that little section back & forth, I was finally convinced.

Try it yourself.

BEST STAR WARS SHORT FAN FILM EVER

Ryan vs. Dorkman

Impeccable choreography, clean special effects. Lucas could learn something from these guys.

This would also be a good time to introduce KeepVid. A web page that allows you to download videos from sites that only offer streaming (like Google Video, YouTube, iFilm, and others).

User's note - be sure you've selected the right tab on the page before pasting in the video URL, otherwise it won't work.

CHECK YOUR LOCAL GAS PRICES

Who's got the cheapest gas in town?

Click here, enter your zip code, and find out.

[Hat tip: Leslie's Omnibus]

IN HIS HOUSE AT R'LYEH, DEAD CTHULHU WAITS DANCING

Need a gyrating representation of an Elder God to make your sing-along experience complete?

Dancing Karaoke Cthulhu

Song list:
1999
Always On My Mind
American Woman
Aquarius
Bad Moon Rising
Betty Davis Eyes
Another One Bites the Dust
Bizarre Love Triange
Bohemian Rapsody
California Dreaming
I Think I'm a Clone Now
Come Together
Don't Stand So Close To Me
Eat It
Every Breath You Take
Eye of the Tiger
Fever
Funkytown
Hotel California
I Shot the Sheriff
Johnny B. Good
Knockin On Heaven's Door
La Bamba
Love Me Tender
My Way
Love Potion #9
Puff the Magic Dragon
Purple Haze
Radio Ga Ga
Respect
Riders on the Storm
Satisfaction
Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
Stairway to Heaven
Take On Me
Time Warp
With or Without you
Waltzing Matilda
White Wedding
YMCA
Yellow Brick Road
Zombie

IRONICALLY, AFTER ORDERING, YOU *WILL* EXPECT THE SPANISH INQUISITION

One of my blogless friends from high school passed this along to me:

Talking Spanish Inquisitor Plush Doll

Manufactured by ToyVault - who has an extensive "Holy Grail" line, as well - and available at fine on-line stores everywhere (Google "Talking Spanish Inquisitor" to comparison shop).

Warehouse 23 has the best description of the item, but they're currently out of stock.

BURNINATE!

Jim of Snooze Button Dreams is posting about dragons, which naturally made me think of...

TROGDOR!

But what's really cool is I found out that Trogdor is now a game.

Go stomp some peasants and burninate the thatched-roof cottages, while trying not to get sworded.

ADULT SIPPY CUP

Blogdaughter Sally of Whimsy Capricious says she has trouble keeping enough fluids by her bedside to keep her from getting thirsty at night:

we own hundreds of plastic kid's cups. Glittery Barbie, Little Mermaid, Disney Princess monstrosities...tons of them. The trouble with these cups is that they don't hold much liquid.

May I recommend one of these?

(click to enlarge)

8 inches high, 5 inches diameter, holds about 64 oz of liquid, and has a spill-resistant closable top.

Wait... Sally's English... I need to convert to metric... where's that calculator?...

[spends several minutes longer than necessary playing with calculator]

Oh! The NUMBERS...

About 20 cm high, about 13 diameter, and holds just under 2 liters.

[Hat tips to blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice and Ted of Rocket Jones for the calculator link]

PLACE 8 QUEENS ON A CHESS BOARD WITHOUT THEM ATTACKING EACH OTHER

7 is easy. 8 is hard.

Just don't put anything in the corner squares and you'll figure it out a lot faster.

And remember, there's a reason the knight is called a "queen-zapper".

[Hat tip: Jed of Boots & Sabers]

COOL TIME WASTER

Tossing wads of virtual paper into a virtual trash can.

[Hat tip to Jed of Boots & Sabers]

JUST THE TOY FOR YOUR LAPTOP - UPDATED 4-28-05

A tiny, optical, 3-button USB wheelmouse, with a retractable cord for easy storage.

Blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only! has a post about it with a nice picture, and check the comments for details on the functionality.

You can get one at Amazon for $17.00

UPDATE 4-28-05: Jim of Snooze Button Dreams says $10 at America's Favorite Corporate Whipping Boy

LAUNCHCAST - HOW TO MAKE RADIO STOP SUCKING

Bloggranddaughter SarahP of Because We Have Thumbs says radio sucks and explains why

The truth is that radio stations don't do anything without pissing away hundreds of thousands of dollars on at least 3 surveys and hiring some guy to spend weeks pouring over the results of those surveys.

So they have every reason to think that you should love what they are doing. That is what the surveys and experts told them.

They were told to 1. play the same songs over and over again. 2. Sound as much like everyone else as they can. 3. play bands you hate instead of bands you love.

Now ask yourself: when is the last time you took the time to respond to a survey?

What to do about it, she doesn't say.

That's ok, because *I* will.

Thanks to _Jon of We Swear, I found out that Yahoo's LaunchCast fixes the problem.

Click the freakin' link already.

Scroll down to where it says "Create my station". Click that, get all signed in, and now you can start making your radio station the way YOU want it.

It plays complete songs. For free. You get to rate them on a 4 star scale as to how much you like them, and YOU CAN ALSO CHOOSE "NEVER PLAY AGAIN!".

It starts off fairly randomly, but as you rate more songs, it starts getting a feel for what you like, and selecting stuff you like better.

But even when it sends you a clunker, YOU CAN CLICK THE SKIP BUTTON and move on to something else.

The catch? Boring, annoying commercials. About 1 minute's worth every 10-15 minutes. Which is still a LOT less annoying than commercial radio.

However - as they never tire of reminding you - you can ditch the commercials for a year for $36 (or do it monthly for $3.99). I did the year thing after about 24 hours, and I'm in music-junkie heaven right now.

Did I mention you can pause the songs, too? Not indefinitely, but for a few minutes at least if you need to go feed the dogs or something.

Also, you rate (and possibly ban) separately on the basis of song, artist, or album. Also, you can click on the song title to find similar songs. You can click on the artist and find similar artists (there's also an "albums" link there where you can find the band's entire discography and rate that - hint: rate something a 4, and they'll play something from it pretty soon). Click on the album link and you can rate every song on that album, as well as find similar albums.

Doesn't matter what kind of music you like. They have it, and you can train your personal radio station to play it.

Just check it out.

Meanwhile, one of you Ubergeeks can explain how I can capture these songs. Figure if they're coming out of my speakers, there's gotta be a way to catch 'em.