GRAFFITI CURRENCY

Teenage Mutant Ninja Lincoln

[Via Holy Taco, hat tip: Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks]

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[(glasses & beard on Washington)]

And in 2016, John Larroquette succeeded Fred Thompson to become America's third actor-turned-President.

[Hat tip: Susie of Practical Penumbra]

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["WARNING: LUPE WILLIAMS IS A GOLD DIGGER, HU"]

Sadly for Lupe, Hu turned out to be a copper mine.

[Hat tip: Blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only!]

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[("20" written over the 1's in all 4 corners of the bill)]

Answer to: "What can you give a blonde stripper that'll make her really happy until one of her brunette friends explains it to her?"

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[(Rubber stamp: Support the Seperation of Church and State www.godoffmoney.com)]

Or support the separation of idiots and rubber stamps at www.useyourdamnspellchecker.com

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[Happy Birthday Granny - Love Pie Face]

Yes, Granny loved Pie Face, and wished that she could cherish his gift forever...

But Granny also needed a beer, and tappers were a buck a piece at the VFW...

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

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[PAT - I DIDN'T HAVE A QUARTER. I HAVE A CREDIT OF III FLUSHES]

I'm getting old. I remember when flushes were only a nickel and came with free scented toilet paper.

[Hat tip: Susie of Practical Penumbra]

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[Davis 12x2=24]

If there were enough Bette Davis clones to fill a jury box, how many Bette Davis Eyes would you have?

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[IF YOU SAVE THIS DOLLAR AND PUT THIS MESSAGE ON 10 1 dollar bills YOU WILL BE BLESSED W/MORE $]

Yeah, and if you put this dollar in a stripper's g-string, you'll get boobies in your face.

A *much* better investment.

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[(George Washington missing face)]

Face/Off 2: Dead Presidents - John Travolta returns as Sean Archer, who must disguise himself as a dollar bill to infiltrate a counterfeiting ring in this woefully underbudgeted sequel.

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[1st customer 7-20-00 Porter County Fair]

Why didn't the 2nd customer get his bill marked?

Carnies can't count that high.

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[(burned $5 bill)]

So... at what point in a drinker's night does setting fire to money seem like a good idea? I mean, does it come before or after "I'm gonna pick a fight with the bouncer"?

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[Keep America clean - Eat a pigeon]

From page 26 of "Muppet Rage: Bert's Dark Journey":

"But what could make such a quiet, well-beloved, pigeon-fancier become the apotheosis of evil? No one knows for sure, but one theory - based on this bill found next to Ernie's mutilated corpse - suggests that Bert's long-time roommate may have triggered the rampage by one too many episodes of pigeon-bashing."

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[(glasses drawn on Lincoln)]

"You wouldn't shoot a guy with glasses, would you?"

[Caption & picture courtesy of blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only!]

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[500,000]

Oddly enough, you CAN actually get five hundred grand for this.

[Hat tip: blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only!]

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[Kill Osama]

May I recommend Death By Bulunga?

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[Dear "God" I Want $27,000]

And God, realizing that it was his fault for not properly filling her bra in the first place, readily agreed to spring for the implants.

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[St. Lazarus anyone who receives this bill will be blessed with lots of money if they write this on 10 other bills.]

Can't believe anyone was dumb enough to try this. Everyone knows that REAL wealth only comes from hard work and helping Nigerians.

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[Bruiser.com]

Not to be confused with wife-beaters.com, purveyors of fine cotton undergarments.

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[Happy Mother's Day 5-9-99]

Normally I only tip strippers with one dollar bills, but I felt sorry for Mom because she had to work on a holiday.

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[(Swastika on either side of Washington, who's sporting a postage-stamp moustache)]

Before Hitler, the worst people could say about a president was that he was a little wuss who's prone to nosebleeds & liked pinwheels.

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[IN ALMIGHTY GOD THERE'S ALWAYS LOVE]

Much better than Allah's motto - "Slaughtering the innocent since 622 A.D."

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[I [heart] MY MOMMA]

Coincidentally, lovin' your momma only cost ME a dollar, too.

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[SHELBY, we were friends before we were lovers. FRIENDS. Tell me what I need to hear.]

Fine.

"Although currently troubled by certain 'issues', Michael Jackson is a talented musician and dancer who truly deserved the nickname 'King of Pop'."

There.

Satisfied?

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[Smile :-) God granted you another day.]

Spend part of it in church, and maybe you'll get to have tomorrow, too.

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[Good Charlotte]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Non-descript, Post-grunge, Corporate-tool, Faux-alternative Rock Bands With No Street Cred Dollars" Coming soon: "Blink-182" and "Third Eye Blind".

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[(red splotch)]

Although it did well in focus groups, the "raspberry jelly center dollar" proved unpopular with the public at large.

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[(chewed-up quarter)]

From "Moonraker" - official "Jaws" brand chewing gum.

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[BOMB SADDAM]

And the #1 cool thing America did in 2003...

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[(rubber stamp: GAY MONEY)]

After this incident, they had to change the policy to "Don't Ask. Don't Tell. Don't Spend".

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[(Orange shapes by Washington's head)]

Ok, so his toupee is the color of a traffic cone and it's shaped like a wig that Bozo rejected. It's STILL more natural-looking than Donald Trump's combover.

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[St. Jude Pray for us]

St. Jude sighed. Would these Cubs fans NEVER leave him alone?

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[THE FIRST TIP]

Just a little souvenier from the days when I used to dance as "Handyman Harvey", wearing nothing but a toolbelt and a smile.

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[(dollar that's dark on the left side and light on the right)]

Pessimists see the bill as being "half dark".
Optimists see the bill as being "half light".
Bad Example readers see the bill as being "half dirty".

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[(red spots on Washington's head)]

George, I *told* you that popping them would only make them look worse...

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[(creatively folded dollar bill)]

Crazed Bush-haters across America were thrilled to discover proof that - according to conspiracy theory bill-folding techniques - an American President named George was a dick.

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[(Rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

And milked it like a cow!

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[(I [heart] U)]

Quiz: How well do you know women?

It's Valentine's Day and you only have $3 to your name. Which of the following gives you the best shot at getting a little:

A) Spend all $3 on a Hallmark card full of pastel colors & poetry for your girlfriend?

B) Scrawl a clumsy - but heart-felt - note on one of the dollars and buy her an 8-oz Hershey Bar with the rest.

C) Go to the bar, spend the money on beer, and see if you can sweet-talk a parking-lot-quickie out of the drunk chick in the corner?

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[(Treasury seal and serial number printed on top of Del Monte fruit sticker)]

Ok, this corporate sponsorship crap is just getting WAY out of hand...

[Hat tip to bloggreatgranddaughter Sticks of From Chaos to Serendipity]

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[(Rubber stamp: BLESSED)]

Wow! If you thought the ACLU had a fit over "In God We Trust", just wait till they see the NEW design!

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[(lower left "1" colored blue)]

Because the eye is drawn to the spot of color, viewers will typically not notice that Washington is completely nude in this portrait.

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[Save a tree. Kill yourself]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Fun Things To Say To Piss Off Hippies Dollars". Coming soon: "You're a Feminist? That's so CUTE!", and "Al Gore? Wasn't he that 70's R&B singer?".

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[(Red stain in flame-like pattern)]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released "Painted Flames" as the first in its new series of "Redneck Truck Accessories Dollars". Coming soon: "Rebel Flag", and "Duct-Taped Bumper".

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[(big red spot on Washington's face)]
As punishment for chopping down the cherry tree, George's father buried him in cherries up to his eyeballs. His skin was stained red for weeks. However, he learned his lesson and never picked up a hatchet again. Except when he was hacking up British soldiers.

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[(hat, eye liner, postage stamp moustache)]

Rocky Hitler Dollar Show

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[(lipstick lip imprint)]

Rocky Horror Dollar Show.

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[200]

Surprisingly, most cashiers can't tell the difference between this and a genuine $200 bill.

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THE QUESTION:

[You're really hott, What's your #?]

THE ANSWER:

[Not now]

[Not ever]

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[UR #1]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Things Cubs Fans Won't Hear This Century Dollars". Coming soon "Record-breaking Win Streak" and "Domed Stadium".

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[Josh]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Books of the Bible Nickname Dollars". Coming soon: "Zeke" and "Singin' Sol".

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[(Hamilton with red hair and beard)]

Carrot Top's great-grandfather, Tomato Top, was also a bad prop comic.

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[(Serial number 69696986)]

Well, it's sorta like 69, except it requires a third person. Preferably a contortionist.

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[(COPA hair tax (on $1 bill from the Bahamas, featuring a band of trumpeters))]

As with nearly every event in the Bahamas, even tax collection is a festive occasion marked by music and colorful costumes.

[Hat tip: Bloggreatgranddaughter Sticks of From Chaos to Serendipity]

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[(rubber stamp: MUTE)]

Don't you wish EVERY politician had a button like this?

[Hat tip: Susie of Practical Penumbra]

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Ezekiel Reeves stars in "The Matrix: Re-Amished".

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[RUSH LIMBAUGH iS A BiG FAT iDiOT]

Yet he still manages to beat Al Franken in both book sales and radio show ratings. I guess it's better to be an idiot than a talentless, lefty hack.

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[(Rubber stamp: PAID)]

Some of the "fiscal transparency" provisions of McCain-Feingold apply retroactively.

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Huh... somehow the Great Red Spot isn't as interesting as they made it sound on the Discovery Channel.

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[(clockwise from bottom: "CHA-CHING" "I will tax you to death" "BUSH TAKING OVER FOR BIN LADEN" "Your life is worthless to me!" ("BUSH" and Satan horns on Lincoln's forehead) "Could you go kill for me? Oh and get me those oil fields while you're at it.")]

Proposed currency re-design from Michael Moore.

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[(Rubber stamp: GUN OWNERS$)]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Things Barack Obama Won't Get Dollars". Coming soon: "An Endorsement From the Cato Institute" and "Elected President".

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[(really beat up bill)]

Sequel to "The Picture of Dorian Gray" - The Dollar Bill of Lindsay Lohan.

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[Ryan is sexy (8x)]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Lies About Ryan Dollars". Coming soon: "Ryan's credit score is a positive number" and "Ryan's genital warts aren't contagious".

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[(rubber stamp: THE RIGHT OF THE PEOPLE TO KEEP AND BEAR ARMS SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED)]

Waving these around is the fastest way I know of to pick up chicks at a shooting range.

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[DON'T LEAVE ME. I LOVE YOU!]

Ironically, if she finds this message persuasive because you wrote it on a dollar bill, you're probably better off without her.

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[drug money]

New! From the makers of "hemp jewelry"...

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[(torn & dirty dollar bill)]

If the Democrats' support for the troops were a dollar bill.

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[(Rubber stamp: Pink smiley face)]

Embarrassing celebrity relatives: Billy Carter, Roger Clinton, Al Gore III, and the Wal-Mart smiley's flamboyantly gay brother, Pierre.

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[Pick Me, #27E, Please, Happy Birthday Eric, call me]

Eric would like to thank everyone for their entries in his "what to use when hunting black widow spiders" contest. And the winner of the random drawing is...

27E! - The Estwing 27oz. Deadblow Hammer!

(NOTE: Eric's birthday isn't until October 14th, but the bonus suck-uppage obviously didn't hurt.)

[Hat tip: blogson That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom]

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[(Lincoln with red & black moustache and glasses)]

From The Gallery of Low-Budget Batman Villains: "Two Tone".

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[(lipstick on portrait)]

"When I said 'wrap your lips around the head', that's not exactly what I meant."

[Hat tip to Susie of Practical Penumbra for finding this one for me]

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Yet another surpise in "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" - Harry goes through an experimental neo-hippy phase.

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So when I heard the rumors that Obama had a secret love child with a Chihuahua, I thought, "that's just crazy talk", but after I saw the picture, I thought "mmmmmaybe...".

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[(two peace signs)]

Ironically, I used this one to pay a homeless guy to beat up a hippie at an anti-war protest.

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[(brown stained dollar)]

See, this is why you should always spend the extra money for QUALITY adult protective undergarments.

And trust me, you DON'T want to see the wallet.

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[[arrow], WWW.WHERESGEORGE.COM, [arrow], [question mark]]

Prop from the movie National Treasure: Bill of Confusion.

[Hat tip: blogson _Jon of We Swear]

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[(drawing of Cap'n Crunch hat on Washington)]

So, in "Pirates of the Caribbean 4: Milking of the Cash Cow", Jean LaFoote has Calypso binds Cap'n Crunch's soul to a one dollar bill and then he takes command of the Flying Dutchman while Calypso, Will Turner, and Elizabeth Swann are having a threesome on the Black Pearl.

Yeah, it's even more confusing that "At World's End", but it's got better special effects and Keira Knightley in positions that would make Larry Flynt blush, so it's worth the money.

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Cover for the new Prince album, Purple Hair.

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[I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free]

As a follow up to the popular "State Quarters" program, the Treasury announced the first in its new series of "Patriotic Song Lyrics Dollars". Coming soon: "It's open season", and "I'm American".

Happy Independence Day!

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[Shay T.]

Just playing with an idea for getting the word "shitty" past the FCC censors by becoming a rapper.

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[(rubber stamp: Where have I been? Where am I now? www.WheresGeorge.com, Easter egg, also some purple & yellow coloring on right margin)]

Taking "coloring outside the lines" to a whole new level.

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[Mega]

I'm guessing it's some sort of marketing campaign for those oversize rolls of Charmin.

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[Good Luck Bobbi (also large tear across top)]

Since she tried to open it up to see if there was money inside, I'm guessing Bobbi was a blond.

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[(rubber stamp: Track This Bill, www.wheresgeorge.com, also map showing Ames Iowa)]

This must be that "middle of nowhere" people keep talking about.

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[Increase in the name of Jesus]

That's one way to do it. Personally, I go with Viagra.

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["Suck my balls" and drawing of spurting member]

Official White House Tour souvenir, circa 1996.

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[(rubber stamps: CURRENCY TRACKING STUDY LOG THIS BILL AT WWW.WHERESGEORGE.COM and cartoon pig)]

And after I finish entering it at wheresgeorge, I'm donating it to CAIR.

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[D-Block Bitch]

Isn't that cute? Paris already has a nickname.

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[(Rubber stamp: www.WHERESGEORGE.com BILL TRACKING PROJECT)]

Actually, that's Hillary's way of keeping track of her husband.

"George" is her code word for that... uh... "troublesome part" of his.

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[(I Love you ADAM!)]

Graffiti of Eden

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[(unmarked 100 Franc bill with image of topless woman)]

French Historical Fun Fact: In 1789, France invented the wardrobe malfuntion.

[Hat tip to Snopes and blogdaughter Michele of Letters From New York City]

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[(rubber stamp: Mockingbird Hill 'The Alternative' HWY 115 & 60)]

Just down the road from the old Munster place.

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[83]

Answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and "What is the average number of factual errors in a typical New York Times article?"