GRAFFITI CURRENCY

Teenage Mutant Ninja Lincoln

[Via Holy Taco, hat tip: Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks]

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[(glasses & beard on Washington)]

And in 2016, John Larroquette succeeded Fred Thompson to become America's third actor-turned-President.

[Hat tip: Susie of Practical Penumbra]

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["WARNING: LUPE WILLIAMS IS A GOLD DIGGER, HU"]

Sadly for Lupe, Hu turned out to be a copper mine.

[Hat tip: Blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only!]

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[("20" written over the 1's in all 4 corners of the bill)]

Answer to: "What can you give a blonde stripper that'll make her really happy until one of her brunette friends explains it to her?"

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[(Rubber stamp: Support the Seperation of Church and State www.godoffmoney.com)]

Or support the separation of idiots and rubber stamps at www.useyourdamnspellchecker.com

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[Happy Birthday Granny - Love Pie Face]

Yes, Granny loved Pie Face, and wished that she could cherish his gift forever...

But Granny also needed a beer, and tappers were a buck a piece at the VFW...

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[PAT - I DIDN'T HAVE A QUARTER. I HAVE A CREDIT OF III FLUSHES]

I'm getting old. I remember when flushes were only a nickel and came with free scented toilet paper.

[Hat tip: Susie of Practical Penumbra]

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[Davis 12x2=24]

If there were enough Bette Davis clones to fill a jury box, how many Bette Davis Eyes would you have?

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[IF YOU SAVE THIS DOLLAR AND PUT THIS MESSAGE ON 10 1 dollar bills YOU WILL BE BLESSED W/MORE $]

Yeah, and if you put this dollar in a stripper's g-string, you'll get boobies in your face.

A *much* better investment.

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[(George Washington missing face)]

Face/Off 2: Dead Presidents - John Travolta returns as Sean Archer, who must disguise himself as a dollar bill to infiltrate a counterfeiting ring in this woefully underbudgeted sequel.

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[1st customer 7-20-00 Porter County Fair]

Why didn't the 2nd customer get his bill marked?

Carnies can't count that high.

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[(burned $5 bill)]

So... at what point in a drinker's night does setting fire to money seem like a good idea? I mean, does it come before or after "I'm gonna pick a fight with the bouncer"?

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[Keep America clean - Eat a pigeon]

From page 26 of "Muppet Rage: Bert's Dark Journey":

"But what could make such a quiet, well-beloved, pigeon-fancier become the apotheosis of evil? No one knows for sure, but one theory - based on this bill found next to Ernie's mutilated corpse - suggests that Bert's long-time roommate may have triggered the rampage by one too many episodes of pigeon-bashing."

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[(glasses drawn on Lincoln)]

"You wouldn't shoot a guy with glasses, would you?"

[Caption & picture courtesy of blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only!]

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[500,000]

Oddly enough, you CAN actually get five hundred grand for this.

[Hat tip: blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only!]

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[Kill Osama]

May I recommend Death By Bulunga?

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[Dear "God" I Want $27,000]

And God, realizing that it was his fault for not properly filling her bra in the first place, readily agreed to spring for the implants.

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[St. Lazarus anyone who receives this bill will be blessed with lots of money if they write this on 10 other bills.]

Can't believe anyone was dumb enough to try this. Everyone knows that REAL wealth only comes from hard work and helping Nigerians.

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[Bruiser.com]

Not to be confused with wife-beaters.com, purveyors of fine cotton undergarments.

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[Happy Mother's Day 5-9-99]

Normally I only tip strippers with one dollar bills, but I felt sorry for Mom because she had to work on a holiday.

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[(Swastika on either side of Washington, who's sporting a postage-stamp moustache)]

Before Hitler, the worst people could say about a president was that he was a little wuss who's prone to nosebleeds & liked pinwheels.

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[IN ALMIGHTY GOD THERE'S ALWAYS LOVE]

Much better than Allah's motto - "Slaughtering the innocent since 622 A.D."

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[I [heart] MY MOMMA]

Coincidentally, lovin' your momma only cost ME a dollar, too.

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[SHELBY, we were friends before we were lovers. FRIENDS. Tell me what I need to hear.]

Fine.

"Although currently troubled by certain 'issues', Michael Jackson is a talented musician and dancer who truly deserved the nickname 'King of Pop'."

There.

Satisfied?

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[Smile :-) God granted you another day.]

Spend part of it in church, and maybe you'll get to have tomorrow, too.

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[Good Charlotte]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Non-descript, Post-grunge, Corporate-tool, Faux-alternative Rock Bands With No Street Cred Dollars" Coming soon: "Blink-182" and "Third Eye Blind".

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[(red splotch)]

Although it did well in focus groups, the "raspberry jelly center dollar" proved unpopular with the public at large.

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[(chewed-up quarter)]

From "Moonraker" - official "Jaws" brand chewing gum.

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[BOMB SADDAM]

And the #1 cool thing America did in 2003...

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[(rubber stamp: GAY MONEY)]

After this incident, they had to change the policy to "Don't Ask. Don't Tell. Don't Spend".

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[(Orange shapes by Washington's head)]

Ok, so his toupee is the color of a traffic cone and it's shaped like a wig that Bozo rejected. It's STILL more natural-looking than Donald Trump's combover.

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[St. Jude Pray for us]

St. Jude sighed. Would these Cubs fans NEVER leave him alone?

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[THE FIRST TIP]

Just a little souvenier from the days when I used to dance as "Handyman Harvey", wearing nothing but a toolbelt and a smile.

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[(dollar that's dark on the left side and light on the right)]

Pessimists see the bill as being "half dark".
Optimists see the bill as being "half light".
Bad Example readers see the bill as being "half dirty".

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[(red spots on Washington's head)]

George, I *told* you that popping them would only make them look worse...

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[(creatively folded dollar bill)]

Crazed Bush-haters across America were thrilled to discover proof that - according to conspiracy theory bill-folding techniques - an American President named George was a dick.

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[(Rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

And milked it like a cow!

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[(I [heart] U)]

Quiz: How well do you know women?

It's Valentine's Day and you only have $3 to your name. Which of the following gives you the best shot at getting a little:

A) Spend all $3 on a Hallmark card full of pastel colors & poetry for your girlfriend?

B) Scrawl a clumsy - but heart-felt - note on one of the dollars and buy her an 8-oz Hershey Bar with the rest.

C) Go to the bar, spend the money on beer, and see if you can sweet-talk a parking-lot-quickie out of the drunk chick in the corner?

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[(Treasury seal and serial number printed on top of Del Monte fruit sticker)]

Ok, this corporate sponsorship crap is just getting WAY out of hand...

[Hat tip to bloggreatgranddaughter Sticks of From Chaos to Serendipity]

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[(Rubber stamp: BLESSED)]

Wow! If you thought the ACLU had a fit over "In God We Trust", just wait till they see the NEW design!

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[(lower left "1" colored blue)]

Because the eye is drawn to the spot of color, viewers will typically not notice that Washington is completely nude in this portrait.

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[Save a tree. Kill yourself]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Fun Things To Say To Piss Off Hippies Dollars". Coming soon: "You're a Feminist? That's so CUTE!", and "Al Gore? Wasn't he that 70's R&B singer?".

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[(Red stain in flame-like pattern)]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released "Painted Flames" as the first in its new series of "Redneck Truck Accessories Dollars". Coming soon: "Rebel Flag", and "Duct-Taped Bumper".

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[(big red spot on Washington's face)]
As punishment for chopping down the cherry tree, George's father buried him in cherries up to his eyeballs. His skin was stained red for weeks. However, he learned his lesson and never picked up a hatchet again. Except when he was hacking up British soldiers.

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[(hat, eye liner, postage stamp moustache)]

Rocky Hitler Dollar Show

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[(lipstick lip imprint)]

Rocky Horror Dollar Show.

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[200]

Surprisingly, most cashiers can't tell the difference between this and a genuine $200 bill.

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THE QUESTION:

[You're really hott, What's your #?]

THE ANSWER:

[Not now]

[Not ever]

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[UR #1]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Things Cubs Fans Won't Hear This Century Dollars". Coming soon "Record-breaking Win Streak" and "Domed Stadium".

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[Josh]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Books of the Bible Nickname Dollars". Coming soon: "Zeke" and "Singin' Sol".

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[(Hamilton with red hair and beard)]

Carrot Top's great-grandfather, Tomato Top, was also a bad prop comic.

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[(Serial number 69696986)]

Well, it's sorta like 69, except it requires a third person. Preferably a contortionist.

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[(COPA hair tax (on $1 bill from the Bahamas, featuring a band of trumpeters))]

As with nearly every event in the Bahamas, even tax collection is a festive occasion marked by music and colorful costumes.

[Hat tip: Bloggreatgranddaughter Sticks of From Chaos to Serendipity]

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[(rubber stamp: MUTE)]

Don't you wish EVERY politician had a button like this?

[Hat tip: Susie of Practical Penumbra]

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Ezekiel Reeves stars in "The Matrix: Re-Amished".

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[RUSH LIMBAUGH iS A BiG FAT iDiOT]

Yet he still manages to beat Al Franken in both book sales and radio show ratings. I guess it's better to be an idiot than a talentless, lefty hack.

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[(Rubber stamp: PAID)]

Some of the "fiscal transparency" provisions of McCain-Feingold apply retroactively.

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Huh... somehow the Great Red Spot isn't as interesting as they made it sound on the Discovery Channel.

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[(clockwise from bottom: "CHA-CHING" "I will tax you to death" "BUSH TAKING OVER FOR BIN LADEN" "Your life is worthless to me!" ("BUSH" and Satan horns on Lincoln's forehead) "Could you go kill for me? Oh and get me those oil fields while you're at it.")]

Proposed currency re-design from Michael Moore.

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[(Rubber stamp: GUN OWNERS$)]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Things Barack Obama Won't Get Dollars". Coming soon: "An Endorsement From the Cato Institute" and "Elected President".

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[(really beat up bill)]

Sequel to "The Picture of Dorian Gray" - The Dollar Bill of Lindsay Lohan.

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[Ryan is sexy (8x)]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Lies About Ryan Dollars". Coming soon: "Ryan's credit score is a positive number" and "Ryan's genital warts aren't contagious".

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[(rubber stamp: THE RIGHT OF THE PEOPLE TO KEEP AND BEAR ARMS SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED)]

Waving these around is the fastest way I know of to pick up chicks at a shooting range.

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[DON'T LEAVE ME. I LOVE YOU!]

Ironically, if she finds this message persuasive because you wrote it on a dollar bill, you're probably better off without her.

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[drug money]

New! From the makers of "hemp jewelry"...

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[(torn & dirty dollar bill)]

If the Democrats' support for the troops were a dollar bill.

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[(Rubber stamp: Pink smiley face)]

Embarrassing celebrity relatives: Billy Carter, Roger Clinton, Al Gore III, and the Wal-Mart smiley's flamboyantly gay brother, Pierre.

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[Pick Me, #27E, Please, Happy Birthday Eric, call me]

Eric would like to thank everyone for their entries in his "what to use when hunting black widow spiders" contest. And the winner of the random drawing is...

27E! - The Estwing 27oz. Deadblow Hammer!

(NOTE: Eric's birthday isn't until October 14th, but the bonus suck-uppage obviously didn't hurt.)

[Hat tip: blogson That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom]

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[(Lincoln with red & black moustache and glasses)]

From The Gallery of Low-Budget Batman Villains: "Two Tone".

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[(lipstick on portrait)]

"When I said 'wrap your lips around the head', that's not exactly what I meant."

[Hat tip to Susie of Practical Penumbra for finding this one for me]

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Yet another surpise in "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" - Harry goes through an experimental neo-hippy phase.

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So when I heard the rumors that Obama had a secret love child with a Chihuahua, I thought, "that's just crazy talk", but after I saw the picture, I thought "mmmmmaybe...".

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[(two peace signs)]

Ironically, I used this one to pay a homeless guy to beat up a hippie at an anti-war protest.

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[(brown stained dollar)]

See, this is why you should always spend the extra money for QUALITY adult protective undergarments.

And trust me, you DON'T want to see the wallet.

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[[arrow], WWW.WHERESGEORGE.COM, [arrow], [question mark]]

Prop from the movie National Treasure: Bill of Confusion.

[Hat tip: blogson _Jon of We Swear]

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[(drawing of Cap'n Crunch hat on Washington)]

So, in "Pirates of the Caribbean 4: Milking of the Cash Cow", Jean LaFoote has Calypso binds Cap'n Crunch's soul to a one dollar bill and then he takes command of the Flying Dutchman while Calypso, Will Turner, and Elizabeth Swann are having a threesome on the Black Pearl.

Yeah, it's even more confusing that "At World's End", but it's got better special effects and Keira Knightley in positions that would make Larry Flynt blush, so it's worth the money.

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Cover for the new Prince album, Purple Hair.

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[I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free]

As a follow up to the popular "State Quarters" program, the Treasury announced the first in its new series of "Patriotic Song Lyrics Dollars". Coming soon: "It's open season", and "I'm American".

Happy Independence Day!

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[Shay T.]

Just playing with an idea for getting the word "shitty" past the FCC censors by becoming a rapper.

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[(rubber stamp: Where have I been? Where am I now? www.WheresGeorge.com, Easter egg, also some purple & yellow coloring on right margin)]

Taking "coloring outside the lines" to a whole new level.

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[Mega]

I'm guessing it's some sort of marketing campaign for those oversize rolls of Charmin.

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[Good Luck Bobbi (also large tear across top)]

Since she tried to open it up to see if there was money inside, I'm guessing Bobbi was a blond.

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[(rubber stamp: Track This Bill, www.wheresgeorge.com, also map showing Ames Iowa)]

This must be that "middle of nowhere" people keep talking about.

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[Increase in the name of Jesus]

That's one way to do it. Personally, I go with Viagra.

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["Suck my balls" and drawing of spurting member]

Official White House Tour souvenir, circa 1996.

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[(rubber stamps: CURRENCY TRACKING STUDY LOG THIS BILL AT WWW.WHERESGEORGE.COM and cartoon pig)]

And after I finish entering it at wheresgeorge, I'm donating it to CAIR.

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[D-Block Bitch]

Isn't that cute? Paris already has a nickname.

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[(Rubber stamp: www.WHERESGEORGE.com BILL TRACKING PROJECT)]

Actually, that's Hillary's way of keeping track of her husband.

"George" is her code word for that... uh... "troublesome part" of his.

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[(I Love you ADAM!)]

Graffiti of Eden

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[(unmarked 100 Franc bill with image of topless woman)]

French Historical Fun Fact: In 1789, France invented the wardrobe malfuntion.

[Hat tip to Snopes and blogdaughter Michele of Letters From New York City]

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[(rubber stamp: Mockingbird Hill 'The Alternative' HWY 115 & 60)]

Just down the road from the old Munster place.

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[83]

Answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and "What is the average number of factual errors in a typical New York Times article?"

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[St Jude pray for us]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Rejected Beatles Lyrics Dollars". Coming soon: "Lucy in the sky on acid", and "All you need is love and a sturdy condom".

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[1992 2810 2087]

[After choosing the $200 answer under the category "Significant Numbers" on Jeopardy]

"What are 'the number of tears cried by Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Ted Kennedy, respectively, over not being able to get a deadline for pulling out of Iraq?'"

[Hat tip to bloggranddaughter Sarah The Penguin of Because We Have Thumbs for finding this one for me]

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[St. Lazurus! Anyone who receives this will win a lot of money if they re-write this on 10 bills]

Hmmm... wonder what would happen if I wrote this on 10 boobies?

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[GAY MONEY]

That's money I set aside specifically for renting Tom Cruise movies.

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[Did you know... This dollar as well as all others now days is not backed up by any silver or gold! This dollar exists because people believe in its validity. Do I see another depression in the future!?! Beware American $$$, invest in European $ or gold & silver]

Eh. I'm just going to invest in Nigerians.

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[(Rubber stamp: Cryn' Ryan (6x))]

Least manly thing in the world?

A weeping hockey player.

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[I owe GWC - and I strayed]

From "Great Moments in Black History", p79:

"George Washington Carver ran a tightly disciplined cattle ranch. Every cow that wandered away from the herd was required to pay a $1 fine and admit his guilt before being allowed back in the corral."

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[(Rubber stamp: McVoid)]

From "American McHistory: the 45th President", page 10:

In 2012, America elected Ronald McDonald president - partly to wash the bad taste of Hillary Clinton out of their figurative mouths, partly to punish the Republicans for running John McCain AGAIN.

Although no one expected much from his presidency, he surprised everyone with the shrewd wisdom of his policies - the most remarkable of which was the way he brought heretofore unknown levels of prosperity to the country by completely devaluing the dollar and making McDonald's gift certificates the new American currency.

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[(rubber stamp: VOID)]

Must be one of Steven Procter's bills.

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[(filthy, spotty, $10 bill)]

Signs you're in a bad strip club:

You give the dancer a brand new $10 bill, and when she pulls it out of her G-string after the song, it looks like this.

[Hat tip to Tammi of Tammi's World for finding this bill for me]

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[Acts 9:5 Acts 9:3]

"Kick against the pricks"?

Huh... I didn't know "Office Space" was based on the Bible...

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[2 Apr 2005, Hacienda, Vickiey just looks sooo... cute today]

Sure, it doesn't make much sense out of context, but if you'd heard that line while watching the April 2nd, 2005, episode of the Spanish-language version of "House", you'd be laughing your ass off.

[Hat tip to Richmond of One for the Road for finding this bill for me]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

[new bill - not previously posted]

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Izzy]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Bad Olympic Marketing Ideas Dollars". Coming soon: Barcelona's Crappy Paint Smear and London's Abstract Blowjob Logo.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

[new bill - not previously posted]

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[847-366-1128 Tom Tay]

It's a phone-accessible GPS service. Sorta like TomTom, except they give you directions in a Tweety Bird voice, like, "I tawt I tode you to make a wight tuwn."

[Hat tip to Richmond of One for the Road for finding this bill for me]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

[new bill - not previously posted]

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Bonnie]

From "History of the Barrow Gang", page 27:

"...leaving Clyde to wonder how the cops had found their hideout so easily - little suspecting that Bonnie had been going around tipping big & signing autographs".

[Hat tip to Richmond of One for the Road for finding this bill for me]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

...and used it to erase years of unsightly wrinkles from my face.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Rubber stamp: Smiley Face)]

Eventually, even Viagra stopped working, and the Hardee's star lost his job.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP for food, feed, and fiber)]

And basketball nets [see item #5].

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[I Poohdy give Louie this dollar for 1 nipple rub :-)]

Sure, gas prices are outrageous, but at least the cost of nipple-rubs is coming down.

[Hat tip to blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only! for finding this one]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Lincoln with make-up and long tongue)]

Presidential Fun Fact:

Although he was one of the original founding members of KISS, Lincoln was eventually forced to quit because his tongue kept getting caught in his beard.

[Hat tip to blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only! for finding this one]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Grant w/sunglasses & smoking)]

"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses."

[Hat tip to blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only! for finding this one]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[RondaS]

So... you're saying it's pronounced like Roh-en-DAHZ?

Ya know, I miss the good old days when football players had normal names like "Walter"...

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[www.tweak3D.net]

I wanted my porn site domain to be www.tweakher38DDs.com, but that was already taken.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

[(Pink around the All-Seeing Eye on the back)]

A gynecologist's view.

[Hat tip to blogson Madfish Willie for finding this one]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(black horizontal line)]

With his swordsmanship waning in his later years, Zorro eventually gave up and just changed his name to "Line-o".

[Hat tip to blogson Madfish Willie for finding this one]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: ***MIKE***)]

Try as he might, Michael Moore just couldn't break his habit of using presidents named George to draw attention to himself.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Good Charlotte]

Better: Charlotte AND her sister

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

And made candy!

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[The magic dollar: each time someone spends it, please write name on back margin]
[(no names on back margin)]

Looks like Kucinich is still having trouble raising funds.

Maybe it's because he's still a crap weasel.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[If you get this dollar, please return to www.dollar dot.com or C.Y. Butts]

You can send a dollar bill over the internet, now?

Wow! What will Google think of next?

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: I Grew Hemp)]

Eh. It's cheaper than gasoline...

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Fnord (printed backwards)]

If you're not part of the conspiracy, please ignore this message.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[D F BOBANA NEZA ANA]

It's the Name Game!

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Rob L. TNV]

Just a reminder to myself that Rob Lowe is going to be on Fox's new show "Tuesday Night Vasectomy".

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(red & purple splotches)]

Your currency's latest security feature: grape & strawberry flavor-patches.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp - Skydive!)]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Matty O'Blackfive Dollars". Coming soon: "Bust their chops!" and "So I looked at the French General and said..."

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Ashley Blossom]

Years of investigation have finally turned up the names of the two interns that Bill Clinton didn't have sexual relations with.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Manuel y Candy 4ever 4ever 4ever 4ever]

Which would be quite romantic if "Manuel" weren't the name of Candy's partner in her Tijuana donkey show.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(dollar bill + boredom + pink hi-liter)]

Don't ask, don't tell, don't keep obvious hints in your wallet, either.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Thank you for being our customer, Phil]

The people who brought you Discover Card have started a chain of strip clubs that gives you one percent cash back on all g-string stuffings.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[dollar bill dollar bill dollar bill]

IDG Publishing presents "Currency for Dummies"

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Jesus Christ IS GOD]

In "Passion of the Christ II: Return of the Savior".

Coming soon to an Apocalypse near you.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: GUN OWNER)]

How stupid do you have to be to steal one of these?

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[MAD]

Just put your thumb on Washington's face and it tells you how you're feeling. I LOVE these new "mood dollars"!

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: butterfly)]

If hippies ran the Treasury...

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Pink circle around the US Treasurer's signature)]

Marked for death by the Gay Mafia

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[To God you owe your life]

To the IRS you owe this dollar.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Keep the blood in your head and keep your feet on the ground]

First draft of Casey Kasem's inspirational catchphrase.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[DREBZ]

Isn't she that short girl that goes to POBJFKHS?

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Lauren]

This dollar bill is 75% full of crap.

(with apologies to Laurence Simon)

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

Which I used to make the tubing for my Crowostomy Bag.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Shannon]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Non-Gender-Specific Irish Names Dollars". Coming soon: "Pat" and "Kelly".

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[AOR]

In order to boost revenue, the US Treasury started selling advertising space on currency. The first customer was a discount Japanese Internet Service Provider called "America On Rine".

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(pink smiley face)]

Late at night, when no one was watching, Wal-Mart's Smiley logo liked to try on a little lipstick and eyeshadow - it made him feel SO pretty!

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(fake Million Dollar Bill))]

I will gladly donate this to the DNC if they will just PLEASE put a ball gag on Harry Reid.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)


[(rubber stamp: Get US Out! of the United Nations)]

I probably shouldn't taunt the UN like that. The might resolution me.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

"In fact, I built my entire freaking house out of the stuff."

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(freaky-looking hair drawn on Washington)]

PRESIDENTIAL FUN FACT:
In 1753, Washington attempted to replicate Franklin's famous "electric kite experiment", but made the mistake of holding the key in his hand.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Where have I been? www.wheresgeorge.com]

Sure, right now it's just a fun little web site. In a couple years, it'll be mandatory under USA PATRIOT Act III.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[George]

Although the Jeopardy contestant knew "The first name of the President pictured on this bill", he forgot to phrase his response in the form of a question and lost everything.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Money is not everything]

Of course not. Everything is 4.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[{Rubber stamp: bear on flag with sparkler)]

WARNING!: Do not attempt to light flag if you are sitting on same.

Note: Warning does not apply if you are a hippy, a communist or just really dumb.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Just like ol' times, huh? Here's a dolar for the trolly. Remind you of anything? [heart] ya, Janet]

Promotional flyer for the sequel to Tennessee Williams' "A Streetcar Named Desire" - "A Trolly Named Vague Recollection"

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Beat out a 18 yr old to win bet!!!!]

Sounds impressive until you find out that the bet in question was "who has droopier boobs?"

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to GREATLY enlarge)

[(various pot-shots at Hillary)]

By request of Sean of Shoot A Liberal - the Hillary $3 Bill

The back can be viewed at FunDollarBills.com, where you can also order one for yourself, if you're so inclined.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[I GREW HEMP]

Which I made into the soap that got a German punk rocker arrested.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Ann K]

From "Manipulating Women for Dummies", p. 70:

"Women are suckers for seeing their names in print. If you can't afford to get her name tattooed on your arm, just write it on some currency and you'll be in her pants in no time.

CAUTION: Results not guaranteed for low denomination bills, or if you can't remember her last name."

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(blank)]

As a follow up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the ONLY bill in its new series of "Democratic Congressmen Who Actually Mean It When They Say 'I Support The Troops' Dollars".

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)
(click to enlarge)

[(red wavy line)]

And, as you can see from the graph, the quantity of comments a post receives is inversely related to the overall quality of the post itself.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: fish)]

As a follow up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Smelly Things Dollars". Coming soon: "Diaper Pail" and "Hippy".

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[From Miller]

Ironically, the dollar tastes better than their beer.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[NOT FOR POKER]

I get even with her by writing "NOT FOR SHOES" on her money.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Fox]

First a TV network, then cable news, now the internet... I wonder what Fox will be branding next...

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[If you see this dollar bill then you might want to put it down because I used it to wipe my ***! :-) Have a good day.]

Why yes, I *would* like to donate to Hillary's campaign fund...

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(LUCKY 7)]

I think Wisconsin's gettin' just a LITTLE pushy with those State Lottery ads...

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

[New bill - not previously posted]

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: boxy squiggle)]

1000x magnification: ASIMO's sperm.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[First time free drugs, 1-800-WEED-420, I eat mushrooms, I smoke crack, Don't smoke crack.]

Apparently rehab is not going so well for Britney.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[($1 bill missing most of the outside edge)]

After taxes.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Kill your God Kill your TV Kill your God Kill your TV]

David Berkowitz had his dog, I have my graffiti currency.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[He's the one who likes all the pretty songs and he likes to sing along and he likes to shoot his gun but he knows not what it means oooooooo]

As a follow up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Suicidal Singer Lyrics Dollars". Coming soon: "'Scuse me while I kiss the sky" and "Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?"

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[HALL OF SATAN (Pentagram)]

Proposed design for the Glenn Reynolds Memorial Building in Washington D.C.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)


[(Front) Question: How do you distract a dummy? Turn over]

[(Back) Question: How do you distract a dummy? Turn over]

DAMMIT! I've been flipping this thing for HOURS!

WHAT'S THE ANSWER???

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Andy Wasilewski, P.O. Box 5121, B'ham, WA 98227]

Part of me says "mail it back to him".

Part of me says "sign him up for a subscription to Playgirl".

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[COME BACK 2 ME 2/2/03]

Oddly enough, the Democratic Party's plans to bring the troops back to America actually predate the invasion of Iraq.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[WWW.TIPPLER.NET]

Just based on the name, I'm guessing that's Straight White Eric's secret blog.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: GUNOWNERS$)]

Just amazing what a heaping pile of these have done for Rudy Guiliani

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[ABOSCO3@comcast.net]

Yes, it's true. If you're dumb enough to put your e-mail address on a dollar bill, it WILL be used to sign up at "hot amateur barnyard porn" sites.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(meaningless scribbling)]

It's either a meaningless scribbling or the transcript of a Democrat's speech giving reasons to pull out of Iraq.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(anarchy symbol in Federal Reserve Seal) Tim got this by sucking dick (swastika on Lincoln's forehead) Lasarous]

In one of the many alternate universes of Star Trek, the 16th President of the US was Tim Lincoln, an out-of-the-closet homosexual from the Amish Nazi Anarchist party.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Jack Johnson "Brush Fire Fairy Tales" song "Flake"]

As a follow up to the popular "State Quarters" program, the Treasury released the first in the new series of "Songs from 'Michael Moore: The Musical!' Dollars". Coming soon: "Sympathy for the Devil" and "I'm a Loser"

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[I love Corey H of Cleveland Ohio. I love Corey H of Cleveland Ohio. I
love Corey H of Cleveland Ohio. I love Corey H of Cleveland Ohio.]

Looks like Corey might have a bunny-boiler on his hands.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[U know you want what you can't have Oh boy that's to damn bad]

...and what would THAT be? Literacy?

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Lacey [heart]'s U, It's better to burn out than to fade away, Peace, Love,
empathy, 69, [anarchy symbol], 4:20, Kurt Cobain]

After contemplating several possibilities, young Caitlyn eventually decided on the more traditional Tigger tattoo.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: GUN OWNER$)]

I like to walk around with one of these hanging out of my pocket just HOPING someone's dumb enough to try to mug me.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: Hillside Square Theatre, 4500 Frontage Rd., Hillside IL 60162)]

Apparently Susie's been moonlighting.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: RAINBOW ROOM)]

"Of COURSE not, Honey! What in the WORLD would make you think I've been at a gay bar?"

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

As a follow up to the popular "State Quarters" program, the Treasury released the first in the new series of "Washington's Most Embarrassing Statements Dollars". Coming soon: "I bet $10 on the British to win", and "I did NOT have sexual relations with that cherry tree!"

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: fish)]

The latest proposed currency re-design includes the new "holographic bass" security feature.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: ying-yang symbol)]

Presidential Fun Fact: After divorcing Martha, George moved in with Yoko Ono's Great-Great-Grandmother and became obsessed with Eastern religions.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

Which I made into fashionable wedding dresses.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: THE VALE INN 813 WISCONSIN AVE BOSCOBEL WI 53805-1375)]

Ironically, the place refuses to serve people who hand out free Bibles.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: GUN OWNERS$)]

NRA-member contributions to Democratic candidates reached a record high in 2006, finally breaking the long-elusive 99 cent barrier...

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: CASHED AT LAW WITHOUT RECOURSE "Without Prejudice" UCC 1-207)]

As a follow up to the popular "State Quarters" program, the Treasury released the first in the new series of "Weasely Lawyer Phrases Dollars". Coming soon: "Offer Void Where Prohibited", and "Your Mileage May Vary"

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[To Mindy - One day there will be a cure [heart] Janet]

Of course, Janet didn't believe a word of what she'd written, but Mindy just seemed so DARN upset about her hairy breasts...

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: WWW.EBIZGRAVITY.COM/MHR)]

As a follow up to the popular "State Quarters" program, the Treasury released the first in the new series of "Failed Dot Com Dollars". Coming soon: "EBIZELECTROMAGNETISM.COM" and "EBIZWEAKNUCLEARFORCE.COM"

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: Cameron)]

As a follow up to "The Lost Tomb Of Jesus", the "Titanic" director will soon roll out his new documentary "The Missing Cherry Tree of George Washington".

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[42 48 35 22 24 21 28 12 18 31 37]

IQ scores of the Academy Awards judges who voted for "An Inconvenient Truth"

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(pink spots)]

Although ostensibly an "anti-counterfeiting feature", everyone suspected that the new currency designs were actually a result of the Treasury Secretary's frustrated desire to be a Trading Spaces interior decorator.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Dwight]

In 2001, the Treasury made a half-hearted effort to get Eisenhower back on the dollar.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(hand-drawn disfigurement of Lincoln's face)]

Would someone PLEASE tell Michael Jackson that he's had enough plastic surgery already?

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Tip: U only Live once! make it worth it]

Hard to make it worth it when it's going to take 19 more of these just to get me a quickie lap dance...

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: CASHED AT LAW WITHOUT RECOURSE "Without Prejudice" UCC 1-207)]

Nice try, but if disclaimers can't protect the tobacco industry, they ain't gonna protect the Treasury.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: Get US Out! of the United Nations)]

As a follow up to the popular "State Quarters" program, the Treasury released the first in the new series of "Right Wing Warmonger Mantra" Dollars. Coming soon: "Nuke France" and "We're coming to steal your oil".

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Pokemon]

As a follow up to the popular "State Quarters" program, the Treasury released the first in the new series of "Those Weird Japanese" Dollars. Coming soon: "Mr. Sparkle" and "Japscat".

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[*star* *heart* *peace sign*]

It either means "America Loves Peace" or "Ninja throwing stars will soon rip through your heart - R.I.P."

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

Something a little different today, sent to me by Leslie of Leslie's Omnibus

(click to enlarge)

[(Check written out with a formula in place of an amount)]

Scene from the new Fox Special, "When Geeks Write Checks!"

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Lincoln with a moustache)]

Wait!... Lincoln doesn't have a moustache...

Oh my God! Dirty Sanchez! EWWWWWW!

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

As a follow up to their popular "State Quarters" program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Lies Hippies Tell Dollars". Coming soon: "Animals have rights" and "You don't need to be on acid to enjoy the music of the Grateful Dead".

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Graduation 1998]

Thomas Jefferson refused to let a little thing like being dead keep him from going back to school and getting his diploma. After all, it never kept him from voting in Chicago.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Bert L]

In a moment of drunken muppet honesty, Bert very nearly confessed his forbidden love for Ernie.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[To who ever sees this may God bless you 6/1/01]

One the many thousands of dollar bills left in male stripper g-strings before Rev. Ted Haggard became "completely heterosexual".

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: SHOP TILL YOU DROP)]

As a follow up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Female Cliché Dollars". Coming soon: "Not tonight, I've got a headache", and "Do these pants make me look fat?"

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)
[New bill - not previously posted]

(click to enlarge)

[Women say no to war, Don't serve in Iraq (in a peace symbol), AWOL]

Although popular among Democrats, Cynthia McKinney's proposed currency re-design was eventually rejected by the Treasury Department

[Hat tip to Radar Rider of Flying Above the Radar and RadarRider's Journal for sending me the pic]

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

((rubber stamp: teddy bear sitting on... an American flag?... holding a... sparkler?)]

With America fully focussed on the war in Iraq, other issues, such as the sudden rash of flag burnings by teddy bears, got pushed to the back burner.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

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[(rubber stamp: ONEIDA TRIBE OF INDIANS)]

Today, the Oneida Tribe of Indians announced that it has purchased the Federal Reserve Bank of New York for $24 worth of beads and trinkets.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

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[For Bianca and Elizabeth To Sandra Jean I love you! It's All Good One for the other in a good way! The best way!]

As a follow up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury recently released the first in its new series of "Hot Lesbian Orgy Gratitude Dollars"

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

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[(rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

And then I sold it to the ACLU Legal Observers at the Arizona-Mexico border.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

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[(red stain on George's chin)]

Looks like George finally got his red wings.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

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[USCOT.COM]