September 17, 2010
TRUE
From FML:
Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month."
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February 28, 2010
NOW HERE'S A COOKING SHOW I'D LIKE TO SEE MORE OFTEN
On this episode of Man Cooking: The Meatshroom - a mushroom made out of meat.
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November 20, 2009
WHAT SHE'S GETTING FOR CHRISTMAS
One of my new favorite sites is Regretsy (hat tip Lynn of Violins & Starships).
"Etsy" is a site where you can buy and sell handmade items.
Regretsy picks out some of the WTFest items for showcasing.
I had no idea that craft items EVER revolved around intimate body parts.
Now I know better.
I also don't sleep as well.
Especially after seeing the felt vagina necklace.
Nope, not a typo. God help us all, that wasn't a typo.
Anyway, I think I found the perfect Christmas gift for the woman with absolutely no fashion sense.
Michelle Obama, these are for you:
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September 27, 2009
SERIOUSLY?
1.5 lbs of ground beef, 1 package of bacon, 1 package of italian sausage, 1 box of hot pockets, 1/2 package of fried onion strips between 2 Tombstone Pepperoni Pizzas topped with Velveta Cheese and Marinara Sauce.
It's the "box of hot pockets" part that's really freaking me out.
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July 25, 2009
IF YOU'VE SEEN WEST SIDE STORY, THIS IS BRILLIANT
Specifically the song "Officer Krupke":
At Riehl World View, commenter Joe does a delightful parody of this song on the topic of Professor Henry "I'll speak with your MAMA outside!" Gates and his run-in with Officer Crowley, who arrested him for disorderly conduct.
Enjoy:
Gates:
Dear racist Sergeant Crowley,
You gotta understand,
It's just my Harvard status,
That get me out of hand.
Whites cops are all punks,
Affirmative action rules the land,
Golly Moses, natcherly I'm a skunk!
Gates:
Gee. Officer Crowley, I'm very upset;
You did not give me the love that an elistist expects,
I ain't no delinquent,
I'm misunderstood,
And your mama aint no good!
Chorus:
Aint no good!
ALL:
Your mama's no good, no good,
Just like your no good,
Because ever racist cop is no good.
Crowley:
Sir, I am just investigating a robbery!
Gates: Lemme educate you about the world!
Crowley:
Just tell it to the judge!
Gates(to "Judge Obama"):
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor,
Society treats me rough,
With all the racism out there,
I cant get grants to do my stuff.
White people pay $50,000 bucks,
So I can brainwash educate their spoiled kids.
Leapin' lizards, that's why society sucks!
Obama (getting word his poll numbers are plumeting and it is time to throw another pal under the bus):
Officer Crowley, you're really a square;
This elder professor don't need a judge, he needs an
analyst's care!
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed.
He's psychologic'ly disturbed!
Gates:
I'm disturbed!
ALL:
He's disturbed. He's disturbed,
He's the most disturbed,
Like he's psychologic'ly disturbed.
Obama:
In the opinion of Da One, this professor is
depraved on account
he ain't had a normal nonracist society.
Gates: Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!
Obama: So take him to a headshrinker.
Gates (to "Psychiatrist"):
Society treats me like a bastard,
The cop's an S.O.B.
They think all negros are plastered,
I broke in 'cause I lost my keys,
Axelrod has a mustache,
Michelle wears a dress,
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!
Psychiatrist:
Yes!
Officer Crowley, you're really a slob.
This professor don't need a doctor, just a good honest job.
Society's played him a terrible trick,
"Und" sociogic'ly he's sick!
Gates:
I am sick!
ALL:
He is sick, He is sick,
He is sick sick sick,
Like he's sociologically sick!
Psychiatrist:
In my opinion this professor don't need to have
his head shrunk at all.
Elitist delinquency is purely a social disease!
Gates: Hey, I got a social disease!
Psychiatrist:
So take him to a social worker!
Gates (to "Social Worker"):
Dear kindly social worker.
They say go earn a buck,
Like be a race documentary maker,
Which means like be a schmuck.
It's not I'm anti-social,
I'm only anti-work,
Glory Osky, that's why I'm a jerk!
Female social worker):
Eek!
Officer Crowley, you've done it again.
Gates don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen.
It ain't just a question of misunderstood;
Deep down inside him, he's no good!
Gates:
I'm no good!
ALL:
He's no good, he's no good,
He's no earthly good,
Like the best of us is no damn good!
Obama:
The trouble is he's crazy!
Psychiatrist:
The trouble is he drinks!
Social Worker:
The trouble is he's lazy!
Obama:
The trouble is he stinks!
Psychiatrist:
The trouble is he's growing!
Social Worker:
The trouble is he's grown!
ALL:
Crowley. we got troubles of our own!
Gee, Officer Crowley,
We're down on our knees,
'Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease.
Gee, Officer Crowley,
What are we to do!
Gee, Officer Crowley,
Crow you!
This guy needs a blog.
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June 25, 2009
THIS IS A LOT BETTER IF YOU'VE SEEN "THE GREAT ESCAPE"
But it's still pretty good even if you haven't.
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June 16, 2009
ENVYING BASIL'S PARODY SKILLS
Basil of Basil's Blog has a delightful parody of the classic Twilight Zone episode "It's a Good Life", now starring Barack Obama in the role made famous by Billy Mumy.
It's a GOOD thing.
Yes, it's a VERY good thing.
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January 18, 2009
MY FEELINGS EXACTLY
You have to see today's Pearls Before Swine, wherein the cartoonist takes a look at saving the planet.
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November 01, 2008
QUOTE OF THE DAY
Via IMAO:
Put Democrats in charge of the Sahara Desert, and in 5 years we’ll have a sand shortage.
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October 25, 2008
OH. GOD. NO.
This wouldn't be so bad, except that it's reasonably well executed and choreographed.
If there's anything more disturbing than watching a Wookie bust a move, I'm not sure what it is.
[Curses unto the seventh generation: Shamus of Twenty-Sided]
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October 12, 2008
SAW THIS, THOUGHT OF...
Blogdaughter Machelle of Quality Weenie, aka Stylin Doggies
In the interests of full disclosure, I once attended a Support the Troops rally with both dogs sporting red, white, and blue bandanas around their furry necks, so I'm living in a glass house here.
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June 28, 2008
TOO GOOD NOT TO SHARE
A couple of related videos. First, the truth about what a crappy car the Toyota Prius is:
Second (courtesy of Blogdaughter Teresa of Technicalities), how to dispose of your crappy Prius should you accidentally end up owning one:
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April 10, 2008
AT MY HOUSE, THIS IS CONSIDERED FOREPLAY
[Hat tip to Lynn of Violins & Starships]
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January 30, 2008
ROTFLMAOTNTPMPAFM!
I dearly love a good turn of phrase, and I like my humor rapid-fire.
Oh, and I find stick figures hilarious for no sensible reason that I've ever been able to nail down.
Best combination of these three comes from - oddly enough - a gentleman who reviews video games. And none too gently, either. Oodles of coarse language, so you've been warned.
I suppose you can start with his review of "Clive Barker's Jehrico" and work your way down the list in the right sidebar, but they're all pretty damn good.
Drink alert in effect.
[Hat tip to Shamus of Twenty-Sided for introducing me to Zero Punctuation in the first place]
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January 29, 2008
January 23, 2008
January 16, 2008
APPARENTLY SOME FOLKS CONSIDER DR. SEUSS "LONG-WINDED"
As illustrated in this Sheldon Comic strip.
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THE MIRACLE OF THE BEAN
I'm dedicating this Sinfest comic to Blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World.
I know it applies to a lot of people, but in her case, more so ;-)
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December 17, 2007
IF I HAD KIDS
I imagine this would be a fairly normal occurance.
Which is why I don't have kids.
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December 03, 2007
I REMEMBER THE 70'S
They were lame, and they sucked.
Bad colors. Too much hair. And sailors only wore ugly-ass bell-bottoms because they were part of the uniform. What was everyone else's excuse?
The 70's sucked all across America.
But I think Sweden may have had it slightly worse, judging by these album covers.
Come to think of it, this may explain ABBA.
[Hat tip: Lynn of Violins & Starships]
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November 27, 2007
THE WAY ALL STAND UP COMEDY SHOULD BE PERFORMED
Through interpretive stop-motion Lego animation.
[Hat tip: Grouchy Old Cripple]
If you liked this, just click on the YouTube vid screen outside of the central "play" box to take you to YouTube, where you'll find more like this in the "related videos" sidebar.
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November 13, 2007
DISPARAGING THE LIST IS A LISTABLE OFFENSE
Gerard of American Digest has written a brilliant broadside in the battle of the sexes. I recommend it.
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November 10, 2007
THIS MAY EXPLAIN WHY THEY DON'T USE THE TERM ANY MORE
Pro-war folks don't mind calling ourselves "hawks". How come the pro-surrender team rarely call themselves "doves"?
Chris Muir of Day by Day knows:
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October 23, 2007
SPROUT MCGEE - HAMSTER ASSASSIN
Caution: not suitable for people afflicted with taste or decency
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September 16, 2007
WHY I LIKE CHRIS MUIR
Because unlike other cartoonists who drew unflattering pictures of Mohammed JUST to make a point, Chris's Day by Day comic actually has a punchline, too:
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August 27, 2007
QUOTE OF THE DAY
Obviously, everyone’s definition of lazy is, "people who use more time-saving devices than I do."
Shamus of Twenty-Sided.
Reminds me of the definition of an alcoholic: "someone who drinks more than I do".
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August 13, 2007
Bloggers Unite!
(cross-posted from IMAO)
You've probably heard of Lefty bloggers rumbling about forming a blogger's union.
One brave right-wing soul, Shakey Pete of Shakey Pete's Shootin' Shack, gave it a try.
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July 30, 2007
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
I've long amused myself by giving my cats catnip, so I really appreciated the July 30th PVP comic strip.
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July 27, 2007
July 26, 2007
ACTUALLY, I DON'T KNOW OF ANY "PREVIEW" FEATURE THIS DOESN'T APPLY TO
Today's User Friendly tickled me to no end.
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July 15, 2007
I'M TEMPTED TO DO THIS MYSELF
Yeah, it's mean, but sometimes you can't resist screwing with people who are overly devoted to their TV shows.
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June 27, 2007
WE ARE AMUSED
By XKCD today.
Probably because I know so many people like the second speaker.
And in a similar vein, today's User Friendly.
(Go ahead & click the links. Work safe and less than a 30-second read.)
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June 26, 2007
COUPLE OF VIDEOS
Fauxmercial for Powerthirst energy drink - keep the kiddies out of earshot:
South Park Mac vs. PC - we'll call this one PG13
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June 19, 2007
Star Trek and the Holy Grail
If you like the original Trek and Monty Python, you'll love this:
[Hat tip: bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks]
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E-Mail Me (Harvey)
Ahhhhhh.... Wedded bliss - I am so glad I am not alone. ; )
Richmond exemplified on April 10, 2008 at 02:51 PM